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Featured Replies

3 hours ago, irishtexan said:

Guy buys house a block away from us in south Austin. Everything seems normal at first. Then some weird shit starts happening. Here's how things went down:

  • He's got a bunch of flat decorative xeriscaping stones in his front yard that he keeps reorganizing in the middle of the night.
  • Then he starts stacking them up in large piles in his front yard like the dude in Close Encounters does with his mashed potatoes
  • We notice that a bunch of garbage is piling up behind the chain link fence on the side of his house.
  • Then he starts spray painting the inside of his windows with random purple lines.
  • Then he starts spray painting the trees with single purple lines. (All of this is happening around 3am while people are sleeping).
  • Then he starts tagging the curbs and the fire hydrant on his curb (he's in a corner house)
  • Then he starts leaving plastic easter eggs full of trash in his neighbors' mailboxes
  • His car gets repossessed
  • He starts riding his bike around the neighborhood offering kids playing outside easter eggs filled with ripped up dollar bills and other trash
  • He starts putting upside down crosses in his front yard made out of sticks, Jason hockey masks on his door knob, and fake molotov cocktails on his driveway.
  • Then the shit hits the fan - He COVERS the front of his house in insane alt-right bullshit - KEK = GOD (The O was an Anarchy sign); "No Welfare Checks - Pay Me Cash" along with a bunch of bullshit satanic/pagan garbage.
  • He starts knocking on neighbors doors at 10pm. They don't answer. He leaves a trail of full beers from their porch to his.
  • He starts screaming at people when they're walking down the street and threatening them
  • He lays down in the middle of the street screaming at the top of his lungs at midnight (neighbors keep helping him up and getting him to go back to his yard. I suggest they let him get runover)
  • One neighbor says he spit on her. 

The neighborhood, as you can imagine, is fed up. The cops say there's not much they can do to evict him because he owns the house.  They do keep coming out to arrest him for drunk and disorderly conduct. Mental health services have come by a few times, and I think they took him in once, as he was gone for about a week. But he keeps getting out, keeps coming back, and keeps acting like a deranged lunatic. According to his immediate neighbors, some of his friends have come by to check on him but he won't see them. They said he's been doing meth. There are three immediate neighbors that are trying to sell their house and it's never gonna happen with him there. They're essentially being held hostage to this motherfucker. I feel terrible for them.

So the question is, what can we do to get him the fuck out of the neighborhood? Do you have any experience with anything similar? How did you rid your neighborhood of an insane neighbor? Someone on nextdoor mentioned that house sales are public record, and they found out that his mortgage is through Wells Fargo. The best we can figure is that the dude inherited a lot of money and can just keep making his mortgage payment. But if the bank knows that he's destroying the house that they own, they might intervene? Can we contact the bank? 

 

 

 

I know a guy .........

As long as he's making that monthly payment and providing proof of insurance and RE taxes being paid, the bank ain't gonna do shit.

Just now, Horn of Gabriel said:

wow he doesn't look creepy at all...

yeah, i would totally accept an easter egg, no questions asked, from that guy.

unfortunately it's probably going to take some sort of altercation with a neighbor/passerby before any significant can come from the police showing up.

  • Author

Oh, and if there is a recidivist fantasy league on the new site, and this guy hasn't been drafted yet, you should totally draft him

Edited by irishtexan

1 hour ago, irishtexan said:

His name is Chad Hansen. This is his mugshot
 

f7043efdeec9440de0ab5affee34c3b2.jpg.max800.jpg

Rhymes with Charles Manson. And there's a resemblance there.

Seriously, about the Molotovs - you say you don't want to kill him, and I didn't say you should light the molotov, but if the police were to find a real one amongst the fake ones the neighbors already are well aware of being scattered about his property, then they might be prompted to take some more decisive action. Somewhat unethical, I admit, but I betcha it'd be effective.

  • Author

Are there any property law attys on this site? And are there any defense attys? I might need both

FBI dude. Not a good idea. Plus you could get shot planting them.

50 minutes ago, dirtonia said:

He's into murder, fo sho.

Sex with dead bodies, too 

Quit pussyfooting around. This sounds serious and you need to act YESTERDAY.

Start a post about him on Nextdoor.

22 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Send over Fitlump.  Not sure how it will help, but couldn't hurt.

Dude will kill himself or die of gonorrhea.

1 hour ago, irishtexan said:

His name is Chad Hansen. This is his mugshot
 

f7043efdeec9440de0ab5affee34c3b2.jpg.max800.jpg

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  • Author
15 minutes ago, woohorn said:

Quit pussyfooting around. This sounds serious and you need to act YESTERDAY.

Start a post about him on Nextdoor.

Fool. You know there's already a HUGE thread on Nextdoor. In fact, observing my neighbors' responses is the only reason I reactivated my Nextdoor account.



Whatever happened to the good ol' anonymous tip to the popo that a guy was dealing drugs out of his house?


Dude- SWATing people is soooo 2017.
33 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Are there any property law attys on this site? And are there any defense attys? I might need both

You need a criminal lawyer. No, not a criminal lawyer. A CRIMINAL lawyer.

Go down to the ARCH and buy every bit of that rancid K2 that you can get your hands on, then take it to your neighbor as a peace offering. Keep doing this as long as necessary. The problem will sort itself out.

1 minute ago, TornACL said:

You need a criminal lawyer. No, not a criminal lawyer. A CRIMINAL lawyer.

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You just don't understand modern (sub)urban art. What a wonderful way to make fun of alt-right faaaaaascists. 

As long as he's making that monthly payment and providing proof of insurance and RE taxes being paid, the bank ain't gonna do shit.


100% correct.
51 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Are there any property law attys on this site? And are there any defense attys? I might need both

I am.  I'll DM you. 

Just now, Trick Britches said:

I am.  I'll DM you. 

But can you draw cartoon dicks too?

INB4 bathsalts frenzy

 

Oh and I'm by no means a gun advocate but this is a situation that I would be sprinting to the local gun store to pick up some protection. There are people a little "off" and this guy who is a few zip codes away from sanity.

 

 

 

I dont know if Austin has any "hard hitting investigative journalists", but they love shit like this. Gets law enforcement and others responsible to act because their shit is on blast and the higher ups can see it.

3 minutes ago, Dewey said:

I dont know if Austin has any "hard hitting investigative journalists", but they love shit like this. Gets law enforcement and others responsible to act because their shit is on blast and the higher ups can see it.

Make it about kid safety and watch the mom mafia roll down the street in armored personnel carriers.

45 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Dude- SWATing people is soooo 2017.

 

SWATing him may still be the right answer - but with a kidnapping / hostage angle.  

I'm sure he'd be somewhat hesitant to come out peacefully if your local  Military  police force showed up en mass or with a no-knock warrant.

It's pretty clear he's acting out because he feels like the neighborhood is intolerant of his creatively provocative character quirks. Y'all need to open your minds and throw a big surprise party for him, with pinatas and live music and some good bbq, maybe a bouncy house or a dunking booth. 

 

6 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

It's pretty clear he's acting out because he feels like the neighborhood is intolerant of his creatively provocative character quirks. Y'all need to open your minds and throw a big surprise party for him, with pinatas and live music and some good bbq, maybe a bouncy house or a dunking booth. 

 

genius! then, when he inevitably drowns in the dunking booth, your problem will be solved. 

23 minutes ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

Personally, I don't think meth is involved. This sounds like good ole-fashioned schizophrenia and mania, and parents enabling.

My dad and stepmom's next-door neighbor was like this. Exact scenario you describe. No job. Up all hours. He blasted talk radio from a transistor in his garage 24-7. He would sit out in his backyard burning leaves and fallen timber while he screamed at the fire. Eventually that changed to him burning his own furniture in the front yard and screaming at the fire.

Police? "There's nothing we can do. It's his furniture and he can burn it if he wants to." 

Eventually he swerved at a jogger in his car and his parents decided, finally, that maybe Russell shouldn't be so independent after all. This was after five or ten years of this shit. For some reason he left my dad alone but he went hard in the paint against the neighbors on the other side of his house. 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator

Get the badasses at the post office to fix your problem. I'm sure putting trash in the mailboxes is illegal.

3 hours ago, irishtexan said:

His name is Chad Hansen. This is his mugshot

Ask him to play a few of his biggest hits, especially "Country Road", before he offs half the neighborhood.

f7043efdeec9440de0ab5affee34c3b2.jpg.max800.jpg     James_Taylor3.jpg

  • Author
Get the badasses at the post office to fix your problem. I'm sure putting trash in the mailboxes is illegal.

Surprisingly the feds seem to care very little about mail tampering. Certainly not enough to seize his property and evict him.

Ok. This is a serious post.

Plan a vacation for a couple of weeks.

Trap a squirrel and put it in his attic.

It'll definitely put him over the edge

3 hours ago, irishtexan said:

Are there any property law attys on this site? And are there any defense attys? I might need both

I gotcha covered

My experience is methamphetamine induced psychosis

Also if the bank's collateral (the house) is getting trashed the bank might like to know that

 

 

He wouldn't happen to be on community/supervision a/k/a probation, would he?  If so, there are a few things in your list that might be something his PO would need to know about. 

Looks like a motion to modify in divorce proceedings for a Chad Hansen in June.  Same guy?

https://www.traviscountytx.gov/district-clerk/online-case-information

You have a DOB?  We can see if he has any warrants.

 

 

Edited by dcbc

4 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Send over Fitlump.  Not sure how it will help, but couldn't hurt.

At minimum, she would take care of the beer for you.

Just now, austingirl said:

Bury a dead body in his yard?

May already be full.

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