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Featured Replies

If you can’t get your Toto to work, just get a family Tersorium  

 

  • Replies 704
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  • I guess this model is to be avoided.

  • Johnny Appleseed for the win! I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit sta

  • I used to warn visitors about the bidet, but it turns out it's funnier if you just let them come out of the bathroom with a big wet spot on their shirt and a sheepish look on their face.

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On 5/30/2025 at 10:24 AM, nnm said:

If you can’t get your Toto to work, just get a family Tersorium  

 

Nope

On 5/29/2025 at 1:08 PM, luke duke said:

Please livestream the eulogy and service so the rest of us can pay our respects.

You need to give the body of a fallen warrior and a dutiful servant a position of honor and reverence in your home. 

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23 minutes ago, luke duke said:

I’ll bet @Brisketexan was wishing that he had a bidet last night. 

I do have a bidet.  And I did use it last night.  And it made things much more pleasant than the last time I went through that procedure.  Highly recommend.

The hotel we’re staying at has a bidet. It’s an older model and the water pressure can be better, but still light years better than wiping.

 

One question I posed while taking a dump in Japan last year… does their TP suck because they have great bidets? Or because they have great bidets that their TP doesn’t have to be great?

I had the same question as I was on the throne (in Hawaii). Because the TP in the hotel sucks. 

11 hours ago, Superhero said:

The hotel we’re staying at has a bidet. It’s an older model and the water pressure can be better, but still light years better than wiping.

 

One question I posed while taking a dump in Japan last year… does their TP suck because they have great bidets? Or because they have great bidets that their TP doesn’t have to be great?

I had the same question as I was on the throne (in Hawaii). Because the TP in the hotel sucks. 

I'd guess the Hawaii hotel TP sucking is due to the plumbing infrastructure being a problem

4 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

All hotel TP sucks. 

True.

But some are definitely worse than others……

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18 hour travel day to Tokyo but this was a good way to end it!

IMG_0882.thumb.jpeg.744ce66e5e854b95ebc93dfe6be61dac.jpeg

Home sweet home to a bidet with much stronger water pressure.

It actually cleans my butthole instead of just moistening my poop. 

Vacationing in Italy and these have been in all our accommodations. Pretty much worthless. Impossible to hit the crucial area(s). Plus I'm supposed to put my hand on the nozzle to try to aim the damn thing? Could really use some Japanese engineering around here.
f90c8ce19d97a75a8d1b9be388fce852.jpg

17 hours ago, Deej said:

Try straddling it in reverse cowgirl.

I did to give my balls a wash. It’s better than nothing as far as cleaning after a shit, but my $30 bidet add on from Amazon is 1000x better. 

  • 1 month later...

This must be a newish model. I saw it reviewed on a site as the most powerful pocket bidet on the market. Obviously I ordered it. Can confirm. Much stronger than the battery powered Brondell and Toto that I bought a couple of years ago. Also the bottle design is pretty neat and holds a shit ton more water, even without expanding it. Definitely going to be my new travel companion.

https://a.co/d/9NoZnhF

On 7/20/2025 at 6:51 PM, Baboontyme said:

This must be a newish model. I saw it reviewed on a site as the most powerful pocket bidet on the market. Obviously I ordered it. Can confirm. Much stronger than the battery powered Brondell and Toto that I bought a couple of years ago. Also the bottle design is pretty neat and holds a shit ton more water, even without expanding it. Definitely going to be my new travel companion.

https://a.co/d/9NoZnhF

Doubles as a water gun in the pool?

I generally don’t like to talk about shit and poop and pee and all that, consider me traditional and old fashion that way. But…

god damn GIF
 

it’s good to be home to my bidet after a near month in Mexico. 

Edited by troph

On 7/20/2025 at 6:51 PM, Baboontyme said:

This must be a newish model. I saw it reviewed on a site as the most powerful pocket bidet on the market. Obviously I ordered it. Can confirm. Much stronger than the battery powered Brondell and Toto that I bought a couple of years ago. Also the bottle design is pretty neat and holds a shit ton more water, even without expanding it. Definitely going to be my new travel companion.

https://a.co/d/9NoZnhF

"Sir, you are not supposed to insert it in your ass."

2 hours ago, troph said:

it’s good to be home to my bidet after a near month in Mexico. 

 

A month? I look forward to it every day.

I've been going into the office early, and before my typical bowel evacuation schedule. This means I've been wiping my ass with toilet paper which is gross.

First 5 things I do when I get home... check if dinner is cooking, yell at the kids, pour a whisky, change into my silk house robe and slippers, and wash my ass

50 minutes ago, Superhero said:

 

A month? I look forward to it every day.

I've been going into the office early, and before my typical bowel evacuation schedule. This means I've been wiping my ass with toilet paper which is gross.

First 5 things I do when I get home... check if dinner is cooking, yell at the kids, pour a whisky, change into my silk house robe and slippers, and wash my ass

Season 9 Reaction GIF by The Office

 

I always thought you were a silk robe guy.

 

also everyone had their "if we move to Mexico here are my non-negotiables" and while a bidet was on mine (goes without saying) the wifey made it crystal clear that was a non-negotiable.  duh.

Edited by troph

3 minutes ago, troph said:

also everyone had their "if we move to Mexico here are my non-negotiables" and while a bidet was on mine (goes without saying) the wifey made it crystal clear that was a non-negotiable.  duh.

When we went to Tulum last summer, the hotel asked us to throw toilet paper into a trash can instead of flushing it. Installing bidets seem like a no brainer.

 

I preached to our tour guide about the awesomeness of bidets. He had never heard of such a thing, and said he'd order one from Amazon Mexico.

A couple that bidet's together, stays together?  It flows better than a couple that garden hoses their asses together stays together.

On 6/5/2025 at 11:42 PM, Superhero said:

One question I posed while taking a dump in Japan last year… does their TP suck because they have great bidets? Or because they have great bidets that their TP doesn’t have to be great?

I had the same question as I was on the throne (in Hawaii). Because the TP in the hotel sucks. 

According to a Canadian mill owner I saw interviewed a few months ago when the tragic tariff conversation began, the fluffiest tp only exists in the US thanks to imported Canadian pulp. 

  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/20/2025 at 7:51 PM, Baboontyme said:

This must be a newish model. I saw it reviewed on a site as the most powerful pocket bidet on the market. Obviously I ordered it. Can confirm. Much stronger than the battery powered Brondell and Toto that I bought a couple of years ago. Also the bottle design is pretty neat and holds a shit ton more water, even without expanding it. Definitely going to be my new travel companion.

https://a.co/d/9NoZnhF

This thing is a game changer for travel away from the home base bidet. I was on vacation with the family in Mexico for 8 days and I didn't even come home with vacabidet irritated butthole from tp use. Highly recommend. 

Edited by Baboontyme

12 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

This thing is a game changer for travel away from the home base bidet. I was on vacation with the family in Mexico for 8 days and I didn't even come home with vacabidet irritated butthole from tp use. Highly recommend. 

Ordered.

On 8/5/2025 at 11:25 AM, nnm said:

Ordered.

Same. 

More than a little amused by some of the warnings on the box... 

20250806_144614.thumb.jpg.d9a9a3d924ed754d16364778b9f91dec.jpg

1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Same. 

More than a little amused by some of the warnings on the box... 

20250806_144614.thumb.jpg.d9a9a3d924ed754d16364778b9f91dec.jpg

. . . if you're brave enough.

Be careful with that thing fellas. Even on low the pressure is solid enough to cause some over spray splashing if you don't get the positioning right. I'd highly recommend practicing with it a few times at home before you are ready to take the show on the road. I'm also not comfortable reassembling it and storing it for next usage without a little rinse or through pat down with a wipe. Who knows what really goes on under there.

Doubles as a travel water flosser for your teeth, so you save some luggage space.

I appreciate the effort, but that battery doesn't look like it will have the requisite power to match the flow of the in home bidets.  

Make sure you replace your remote batteries on a schedule.

My batteries tapped out after I turned it on. No idea if there’s a manual switch on the side of the Toto but I couldn’t find it and I couldn’t reach the plug. Had to yell at Mrs Brown to bring me some batteries while my asshole got the longest polishing it has ever experienced.

  • 3 months later...

The downside of regularly using bidets is your butthole becomes baby soft, and even the softest TP feels like you're scraping your sphincter with sandpaper.

On 8/6/2025 at 10:10 PM, Baboontyme said:

Be careful with that thing fellas. Even on low the pressure is solid enough to cause some over spray splashing if you don't get the positioning right. I'd highly recommend practicing with it a few times at home before you are ready to take the show on the road. I'm also not comfortable reassembling it and storing it for next usage without a little rinse or through pat down with a wipe. Who knows what really goes on under there.

I tried my portable gadget a few times to get a sense of it, and the "who knows what really goes on under there" factor is a definite concern. Perhaps it's just me, but it's a lot easier (and less disconcerting) for the stream to remain in a constant, fixed position and for the o-ring to move around than the opposite. 

I don't plan to travel with it, except for perhaps in very limited and specific circumstances. I can see a use case when visiting someone's home for a few days or more but installing a cheap, non-electric version is impossible. It won't replace my practice of using (allegedly) biodegradable buttwipes at hotels during work travel. 

On 7/20/2025 at 6:51 PM, Baboontyme said:

This must be a newish model. I saw it reviewed on a site as the most powerful pocket bidet on the market. Obviously I ordered it. Can confirm. Much stronger than the battery powered Brondell and Toto that I bought a couple of years ago. Also the bottle design is pretty neat and holds a shit ton more water, even without expanding it. Definitely going to be my new travel companion.

https://a.co/d/9NoZnhF

As indicated above, I ordered this in August.  Since then, it's traveled with me to Dallas, Colorado Springs, NOLA, Illinois (2X), Dallas again, Orlando (2X), and places in-between.  This is absolutely a game-changer.  I now own two.  One stays in my suitcase, the other sits with a travel kit I have in Illinois at the home office of the ministry I serve in.  Can't recommend it highly enough.

  • 4 weeks later...

I just had an outlet installed near my toilet.  What's the best electric model I can get for say.... $300?  Maybe an option for $150?  I have done no research, and I don't have time to read the thread.  I need a (cl)assy Christmas gift for Priscilla.  You jokers will probably recommend something with wifi and a camera.  Butt I have a budget this year.   

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