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in my opinion they all function great. i've had 4 different brands. it all comes down to appearances. for me personally i would only go with a low profile one so it doesn't look like some senior assisted living situation is going on.  and a t-valve to control pressure is a must. some come with it.

Tks. Yeah most look like geriatric appliances.

If you got an adjustable t-valve for your Brondell, could you please share a link?
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  • I guess this model is to be avoided.

  • Johnny Appleseed for the win! I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit sta

  • I used to warn visitors about the bidet, but it turns out it's funnier if you just let them come out of the bathroom with a big wet spot on their shirt and a sheepish look on their face.

Posted Images

3 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Avatar checks out.

you could eat off my asshole.

  • Author
you could eat off my asshole.


Who says he hasn’t?
7 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Avatar checks out.

That was after he used it on the high setting.

9b375aeeeeb4b64d2572c15cf72dc7b6.jpg


Finally joined the club and must admit I feel a bit dignified no longer using butt cleaning technology from 300AD.
17 minutes ago, William_Cannon said:

 


Finally joined the club and must admit I feel a bit dignified no longer using butt cleaning technology from 300AD.

 

Skrong.

  • Author

 

Finally joined the club and must admit I feel a bit dignified no longer using butt cleaning technology from 300AD.

 

Welcome to the club Dr. Cannon.

Shitting at the office really sucks now

 
Welcome to the club Dr. Cannon.

Name checks out, Dr. Duke.

Thanks for the recommendation. The Squatty potty is a nice complement to the bidet. Not only will it better for o-ring in the long run, I just gained another 5 minutes in my day with the setup. Bowels empty completely right away, a quick spray, pat dry, and I’m good to go. It’s like nascar efficiency for the John.

Johnny Appleseed for the win!

I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit stained paper in the trash can.

I asked the owner this morning why he doesn't get bidets rather than clean up shitty trash cans.  After showing him the luxe models on Amazon, he immediately ordered one to test in a room as part of a pilot program.

I'm like a mormon missionary, spreading the good word internationally.

 

On 1/25/2019 at 6:45 PM, William_Cannon said:


Name checks out, Dr. Duke.

Thanks for the recommendation. The Squatty potty is a nice complement to the bidet. Not only will it better for o-ring in the long run, I just gained another 5 minutes in my day with the setup. Bowels empty completely right away, a quick spray, pat dry, and I’m good to go. It’s like nascar efficiency for the John.

It's not all sunshine and puppy dogs - you're going to fall behind on your magazines sooner rather than later. 

I have a Kohler Puretide that I've been carrying around in the backseat of my truck for a week. I have to take the advice of a previous poster and install the thing when my wife is out of the house. She'll shut it down otherwise.

Knowing that a brisk, satisfying ass rinse is so close to becoming a reality has me on pins and needles!

 

shhh-its-a-secret.jpg

  • Author
Johnny Appleseed for the win!
I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit stained paper in the trash can.
I asked the owner this morning why he doesn't get bidets rather than clean up shitty trash cans.  After showing him the luxe models on Amazon, he immediately ordered one to test in a room as part of a pilot program.
I'm like a mormon missionary, spreading the good word internationally.
 

You’re doing God’s work.

Bought a $25 bidet on Amazon and installed it last night.

I'm sold on the thing after one use.

  • 3 weeks later...

I bought one yesterday and they delivered it today. The Luxe 180. My bunghole thanks all you fine ambassadors of Bidet.

I am hoping to figure out a way to make myself go before leaving the house for work.

  • Author
2 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

I bought one yesterday and they delivered it today. The Luxe 180. My bunghole thanks all you fine ambassadors of Bidet.

I am hoping to figure out a way to make myself go before leaving the house for work.

[Roman]Pics of ur (cln) brwn star plz.[/Roman]

After a couple of weeks of use I've noticed there's going to be a huge savings on toilet paper in the future. Should've bought one of these years ago.

  • 2 weeks later...

Just installed a Brondell from Lowe’s last night.  I am now mourning all the lost years of foregoing this simple luxury.  I probably overpaid, but I don’t know that you can put a price on something so satisfying.  

  • 1 month later...

I think it's time for a new throne and bidet. I have no power back there. Budget is TBD. What you got? 

  • 2 weeks later...

Just installed 2… I assume water hitting bottom and defelecting out the side between bowl and seat means pressure too high and should be adjusted at the t valve?

  • Author

Yep, definitely a prolapsed anus. Lay off the buttseks for a while.

I've noticed that with the past few shits, I've had some leakage when I check myself later. Do y'all relax your sphincters slightly when spraying for optimal cleaning? My thought is that I need grant the water a little more butthole access to really get clean.

22 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

I've noticed that with the past few shits, I've had some leakage when I check myself later. Do y'all relax your sphincters slightly when spraying for optimal cleaning? My thought is that I need grant the water a little more butthole access to really get clean.

from page 3

 

Quote

i swore to myself to post a public service announcement in here when this thread popped back up.

proper bidet technique eluded me when i first started bathing my blowhole. i don't know if it was homophobia or fear of blowing something out inside me, but i always clenched my o-ring when i was power washing it. it wasn't until i read something on the other site that the light came on for me. you need to unclench that balloon knot, boys. let the water "come in" a little so it can blast any turtle head lying just behind the ring of fire. just relax that kegel and clean maybe another 1/8" inside the caca cave.

trust me, the paper will always come back clean. 

 

 
Much obliged. I'll give it a try, but I ain't gonna lie, I am a tad bit nervous.

You'll need to retrain your stinkster muscle. Don't worry, the gheys do it all the time.

  • 2 weeks later...

I traveled around Japan a few years ago and I didn't see a toilet that wasn't a Toto brand bidet. Those weeks of using Totos were absolutely amazing. Some were more basic models but most were the high end that had all the bells and whistles, even in a simple mom and pop restaurant. I don't know if Totos are noticeably better than the American brands, but they were fantastic. I have three in my house now. Pricey, but worth it imho. I love seeing the change in visitors' eyes after their first time using it and realizing what they've missed all these years. 

  • 1 month later...

I tried the Toto washlet while on vacation. It’s pretty fancy but I’m not sure it’s worth the price tag and it sure looks retirement home bulky. The spray alignment feature was really the only thing I found useful. Everything else was just ok. I can get the same pressure control with a non powered bidet. I live in a warm climate so the heated seat and the heated water would only get used like one month out of the year. The air dryer is interesting but in reality it would take a long time to blow dry your butt.



On 5/24/2019 at 1:21 AM, Zombie said:

I traveled around Japan a few years ago and I didn't see a toilet that wasn't a Toto brand bidet. Those weeks of using Totos were absolutely amazing. Some were more basic models but most were the high end that had all the bells and whistles, even in a simple mom and pop restaurant. I don't know if Totos are noticeably better than the American brands, but they were fantastic. I have three in my house now. Pricey, but worth it imho. I love seeing the change in visitors' eyes after their first time using it and realizing what they've missed all these years. 

You watching them use it?  NTTIAWWT I guess.

  • Author
You watching them use it?  NTTIAWWT I guess.


7ce04655196586c24bbe689e98e1f01e.jpg

Finally installed one in the master. Glorious. 

Now I just have to make sure the 2 year old never gets interested in the silver knob on the side of the toilet. 

2 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

I tried the Toto washlet while on vacation. It’s pretty fancy but I’m not sure it’s worth the price tag and it sure looks retirement home bulky. The spray alignment feature was really the only thing I found useful. Everything else was just ok. I can get the same pressure control with a non powered bidet. I live in a warm climate so the heated seat and the heated water would only get used like one month out of the year. The air dryer is interesting but in reality it would take a long time to blow dry your butt.


 

The best thing about the heated water is that with the warm wetness on my backside, I can imagine it's Kyler Murray licking the shit-nuggets out of my asshole.

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

The best thing about the heated water is that with the warm wetness on my backside, I can imagine it's Kyler Murray licking the shit-nuggets out of my asshole.

Is cold water Baker Mayfield?

On 1/24/2019 at 6:27 PM, William_Cannon said:

 


Finally joined the club and must admit I feel a bit dignified no longer using butt cleaning technology from 300AD.

 

Damn you fancy. I have some 40 dollar one on amazon 

47 minutes ago, ABSR said:

Is cold water Baker Mayfield?

hot

I'm in the market for a new bidet.  Something less than $50 hopefully that isn't a pain to install and gets the job done.  Hit me with some suggestions.

On 6/26/2019 at 3:01 PM, Rimbo said:

The best thing about the heated water is that with the warm wetness on my backside, I can imagine it's Kyler Murray licking the shit-nuggets out of my asshole.

User name is appropriate

Image result for disgusted gif

On 1/11/2019 at 8:23 PM, BigDHornfan said:

9b375aeeeeb4b64d2572c15cf72dc7b6.jpg

Fuck yea!

Completely sold after one dook.

Is that a bunch of shit sprinkles and a pube?

  • 1 month later...
  • Author
2 hours ago, Jhawk said:

No more wipes in the desk for me. Portable bidet on the way. 

Sonny bidet

Needs a bigger tank, which would defeat the purpose. People at the office might question why I'm carrying one of the 5 gal jugs from the water cooler into the handicap stall.

5 hours ago, Jhawk said:

No more wipes in the desk for me. Portable bidet on the way. 

Sonny bidet

I'll be interested in your review.  I'm not ready to pull the trigger yet.  Also need a way to carry it at the office.

  • Author
I'll be interested in your review.  I'm not ready to pull the trigger yet.  Also need a way to carry it at the office.


Just shove it down your pants leg

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