July 25, 20187 yr And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin' about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. Quote Santa Barbara has become the latest city to crack down on plastic straws, enacting what is likely the most severe prohibition in the country. The law authorizes hefty fines and jail sentences for violators. On Tuesday, the Santa Barbara City Council unanimously passed a bill that prohibits restaurants, bars, and other food service businesses from handing out plastic straws to their customers. Plastic stirrers and utensils could still be legally provided, but only if customers request them. That a municipality would ban plastic straws is sadly unsurprising in the year 2018, when seemingly every city, celebrity, corporation, and cute kid with a nonprofit wants to eliminate the little suckers from polite society. Yet Santa Barbara's ban is notably rigid and punitive. When Seattle became the first major city in the United States to ban plastic straws in September 2017, it carved out an exemption for compostable plastic straws and made any violation an infraction punishable by a $250 fine. Santa Barbara, by contrast, has banned even compostable straws, permitting only drinking tubes made from nonplastic materials such as paper, metal, or bamboo. The city also has made a second violation* of its straw prohibition both an administrative infraction carrying a $100 fine and a misdemeanor, punishable by a maximum fine of $1,000 and up to six months in jail. Each contraband straw or unsolicited plastic stirrer counts as a separate violation, so fines and jail time could stack up quickly. Unlike other enacted or proposed straw bans, Santa Barbara's does not include an automatic exemption for the disabled, who often lack the ability to bring cup to lip. Restaurant owners can request an exemption based on medical necessity, but granting one is at the city's discretion. It may seem unlikely that Santa Barbara will start imposing the maximum penalties for scofflaw straw suppliers, but city officials are not ruling it out. Assistant City Attorney Scott Vincent tells me criminal charges would be pursued only after repeat violations and if there were aggravating circumstances. Supporters of the ban paid little attention to its punitive aspects. Outside the city council meeting where the ordinance was passed, an environmental activist spoke of the benefits that would accrue to the children. Inside city hall, actual children urged city council members to save the oceans by criminalizing straws, while the adults in the room applauded.
July 25, 20187 yr You can have anything you want at Alice's Restaurant, as long as it's not a plastic straw.
July 25, 20187 yr The little plastic stirrers at the office coffee bar are next. Waiting for the storm of millennial do gooders to form.....
July 25, 20187 yr 11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said: You can have anything you want at Alice's Restaurant, as long as it's not a plastic straw. Give 'em a straw, we cut you no slack, take you to the slammer by the railroad track.
July 25, 20187 yr I came here wanting to point out that compostable straws are great and getting much more economical, but that ban is ridiculous.
July 25, 20187 yr 12 hours ago, DoobieWah said: "KILL KILL KILL" BTW: LINK More preposterous than the 1.6 straws per day claim is that most of them make their way into our waterways. Maybe not, though, as most restaurants remove straws from their trash so they can dump them on the beach or river.
July 25, 20187 yr 10 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said: One for the lake. One for the stream. One for the ocean. I'm going to go to HEB, if it's open, and buy all the straws they have. Then I'm gonna drive to Santa Barbara and try to stuff at least one straw in every living fish in the area.
July 25, 20187 yr I stir my coffee with live baby sea turtles. Guess Santa Barbara doesn't want me to visit.
July 25, 20187 yr 3 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said: I stir my coffee with live baby sea turtles. Guess Santa Barbara doesn't want me to visit. You stir it? Or you just dump them in and let them swim around?
July 25, 20187 yr Just now, WBT said: You stir it? Or you just dump them in and let them swim around? If they are swimming calmly, it isn't hot enough. I am looking for a "panicked flailing trying to get out."
July 25, 20187 yr 3 hours ago, gecko said: The little plastic stirrers at the office coffee bar are next. Waiting for the storm of millennial do gooders to form..... I’d avoid going to the office then.
July 25, 20187 yr If they are swimming calmly, it isn't hot enough. I am looking for a "panicked flailing trying to get out."That’s why I use baby lobsters...two birds one stone type of thing.
July 25, 20187 yr I look forward to the 8 x 10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one describing the scene of the crime.
July 25, 20187 yr First they came for the straws, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a straw. Then... San Francisco Supervisors move to ban workplace cafeterias Quote New city tech workers dreaming of dining in workplace cafeterias may soon face a harsh reality — going outside. Two city legislators on Tuesday are expected to announce legislation banning on-site workplace cafeterias in an effort to promote and support local restaurants. The measure, proposed by Supervisor Ahsha Safai and co-sponsored by Supervisor Aaron Peskin, would adjust zoning laws to ban workplace cafeterias moving forward, but would not be retroactive. Peskin said the measure, was inspired by tech companies like Twitter and Airbnb, which are widely known to have access to dining in their own buildings, depriving nearby restaurants of the dollars usually spent by nearby workers. The measure has the support of Gwyneth Borden, executive director of the Golden Gate Restaurant Association and other local merchants. Under the legislation which is expected to be introduced Tuesday, “you can’t have an industrial kitchen in your office building,” Peskin said. Peskin said the legislation sought to avoid the “Amazon effect that impacts retail and restaurants across the county,” he said. “This is forward thinking legislation.” San Francisco is not the first city to implement such a measure. Mountain View, home to Google’s headquarters, has prohibited the company from fully subsidizing employee meals at new office locations, in an effort to encourage employees to engage with the community and local businesses, the San Francisco Chronicle has reported. Peskin said the measure was purposefully made not retroactive “so it’s not goring anybody’s ox.” But, Peskin said, it’s a hope to mitigate the “app culture” of workers who are whisked away in private commuter shuttles to work, who dine in their places of employment, and see all their goods delivered to them by apps — depriving them the pleasure of mingling with the rest of The City. “People will have to go out and each lunch with the rest of us,” he said. Supervisors Safai and Peskin and supporters will gather at The Perennial at 59 9th Street to discuss the legislation Tuesday at 12:45 p.m. Supervisor Safai did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
July 25, 20187 yr Author 14 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said: You can have anything you want at Alice's Restaurant, as long as it's not a plastic straw. And excepting Alice.
July 25, 20187 yr 11 minutes ago, clapclapclap said: First they came for the straws, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a straw. Then... San Francisco Supervisors move to ban workplace cafeterias Those kids ain't leaving the building to eat in local restaurants. More likely they'll just get food delivered to the front door, where the delivery guy will put it on a robot that fetches it over to the guy who ordered it. All of it as silent and devoid of human interaction as a giant cockroach playing solitaire.
July 25, 20187 yr Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol and without a straw?
July 25, 20187 yr Just now, bernorange said: Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol and without a straw? The man was ahead of his time.......
July 25, 20187 yr Author Most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face.
July 25, 20187 yr 19 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said: Those kids ain't leaving the building to eat in local restaurants. More likely they'll just get food delivered to the front door, where the delivery guy will put it on a robot that fetches it over to the guy who ordered it. All of it as silent and devoid of human interaction as a giant cockroach playing solitaire. This sounds awesome. Not having to interact with real people? Sign me up.
July 25, 20187 yr I confess Office Obie, I put my straw at the bottom of that 30 ton pile of dead fish.
July 26, 20187 yr I always like connecting a bunch of straws together to make a giant straw. Then I throw it into a waterway.
July 26, 20187 yr 34 minutes ago, po elvis said: i threw a straw into my kid's betta fish bowl. I threw my nine year nephew’s beta fish bowl in to a pool full of straws and sun block balls
July 26, 20187 yr I was in Seattle all day today, definitely no plastic straw ban. Used one not 30 minutes ago.
July 26, 20187 yr 12 hours ago, Trey3216 said: I'm going to go to HEB, if it's open, and buy all the straws they have. Then I'm gonna drive to Santa Barbara and try to stuff at least one straw in every living fish in the area. You're telling me I was in actuality sucking on a straw and not a fishstick?
July 26, 20187 yr Quote permitting only drinking tubes made from nonplastic materials such as paper, metal, or bamboo. I think I’ll start a bamboo farm business in Santa Barbara
July 26, 20187 yr Do these do-goodies know how much oil it takes to make the inside of a Toyota Prius?
July 26, 20187 yr 8 hours ago, EuroHorn said: I think I’ll start a bamboo farm business in Santa Barbara Please be sure to water that bamboo with the tears of baby seals.
July 26, 20187 yr 20 hours ago, clapclapclap said: San Francisco Supervisors move to ban workplace cafeterias How fucking short sighted can you be? What about the food service workers in cafeterias? The food suppliers? Etc? Do they just think the companies will turn them into Tech workers? JFC this is dumb.
July 26, 20187 yr 5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said: How fucking short sighted can you be? What about the food service workers in cafeterias? The food suppliers? Etc? Do they just think the companies will turn them into Tech workers? JFC this is dumb. Won't they think of the carbon footprint of all that extra driving....
July 26, 20187 yr Are plastic straws not recyclable? I would guess they are, just like plastic lids and cups.
July 26, 20187 yr 2 hours ago, J-Mart said: Are plastic straws not recyclable? I would guess they are, just like plastic lids and cups. The issue is wildlife destruction. Like beer rings kill turtles and birds the straws do the same thing apparently. I got no problem getting rid of plastic straws if it'll help. Go back to the paper ones we had as kids. While we're at it get rid of in d turbines, they kill many birds and bats .
July 26, 20187 yr 3 hours ago, J-Mart said: Are plastic straws not recyclable? I would guess they are, just like plastic lids and cups. the sorting machines aren't good with dealing with something that small, apparently.
July 26, 20187 yr I've never been much of a straw person. But for some reason crap like this makes me want to become one.
July 26, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said: The issue is wildlife destruction. Like beer rings kill turtles and birds the straws do the same thing apparently. I got no problem getting rid of plastic straws if it'll help. Go back to the paper ones we had as kids. While we're at it get rid of in d turbines, they kill many birds and bats . Beer should only be sold in multiples of 12 or more. Problem solved.
July 26, 20187 yr 10 minutes ago, Deej said: Beer should only be sold in multiples of 12 or more. Problem solved. The 8 pack has always intrigued me. Go to a buddy’s house to watch the football game. 1 on the way there, 6 there, 1 roadie.
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.