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Dallas Cowboys 2024 Season Thread -- Jerrah the Asshat Rides Again

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The funny thing is that while I am no Fat Mikr fan this season winning 7 games with what his stupid fucking GM saddled him with was probably his best coaching job since he arrived here. 
 

 

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  • Firemans4Horn
    Firemans4Horn

    The Brian Schottenheimer hire is the Jonathan Mingo of trades, the Taco Charlton of draft picks, the Terence Steele of contract extensions, the blinding 3pm glare of stadium designs. 

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It’s just not a serious position. I think some guys go into it thinking give it a shot and if it works you’re a legend. What are candidates supposed to think when they see what Jerry pulled with the roster the past offseason? It’s why I gave up a good while back. I’m still hoping for the best for the cowboys and if they got good again I would tune in but as long as the team is owned by the Jones family I’m not investing my time, money, or emotions on any of it. Still hoping for the best for all the fans that deserve to be rewarded for sticking in there. 

I'd be fine with a Prime experiment. Better than another old ass retread. I already described a few pages back why it's not possible. If Prime were to succeed he'd get the spotlight and Jerry just can't have that happen.

Edited by 'stache

9 minutes ago, royiv said:

Kliff is getting paid by the Cardinals through 2026 and has resurrected his career in DC. He’s not going to jump at the chance to coach a dumpster fire with Dak at QB.

Kliff is a TX guy who probably grew up a Cowboys fan. It'd be real hard for him to turn down head coach of the Dallas Cowboys with an established franchise QB and WR.

I'd be fine with Kingsbury, way more upside than the other likely possibilities, and while he's technically a retreat, he's still young and has a decent chance at finding his groove somewhere down the line.

Edited by 'stache

4 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I'd be fine with a Prime experiment. Better than another old ass retread. I already described a few pages back why it's not possible. If Prime were to succeed he'd get the spotlight and Jerry just can't have that happen.

What Jerry doesn’t realize is that after this long and this many coaches, including guys like parcells, any cowboys team that wins big will have all the success attributed to the coach because the world knows that the gm is shit. 

Nothing will ever change until Jerry Jones actually hires a GM that’s independent of the Jones family. That will never happen so continue to enjoy hell, Jerry. 
 

12 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

Kliff is a TX guy who probably grew up a Cowboys fan. It'd be real hard for him to turn down head coach of the Dallas Cowboys with an established franchise QB and WR.

 

11 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I'd be fine with Kingsbury, way more upside than the other likely possibilities, and while he's technically a retreat, he's still young and has a decent chance at finding his groove somewhere down the line.

We all knew he'd be back in Highland Park banging rich divorcees but we just thought it would be with SMU....

Good.  He never deserved the job after lying about watching every Cowboys snap in his interview.  He didn't deserve to keep the job after the 49ers debacle.  Even more so after Green Bay.  Good riddance.

3 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

 

We all knew he'd be back in Highland Park banging rich divorcees but we just thought it would be with SMU....

He’s from New Braunfels

An aggy friend told me McCarthy is the 2nd greatest coach in Cowboy history.  Without even asking who he thought was #1, I reminded him Tom [Laundry] and Jimmy Johnson both coached the Cowboys.  He said McCarthy was more successful "on the whole" than Johnson because they both coached 5 years, but McCarthy had more wins (84 to 80) and a better winning percentage (.583 to .550).  With this logic, I'm surprised he didn't mention Switzer's name as well.

It won't make a damn bit of difference. As long as Jerry is alive it's a shit show. 

Spunt as much as he's going to. 

All in. 

 

1 minute ago, Burt said:

An aggy friend told me McCarthy is the 2nd greatest coach in Cowboy history.  Without even asking who he thought was #1, I reminded him Tom [Laundry] and Jimmy Johnson both coached the Cowboys.  He said McCarthy was more successful "on the whole" than Johnson because they both coached 5 years, but McCarthy had more wins (84 to 80) and a better winning percentage (.583 to .550).  With this logic, I'm surprised he didn't mention Switzer's name as well.

Like an aggy would understand success 

What are the chances of Jerry convincing Belichick to ditch UNC?

Does the HC really matter as long as Jerry is still the GM? How can you succeed when ownership doesn't really care about winning?

1 minute ago, Tex-19 said:

What are the chances of Jerry convincing Belichick to ditch UNC?

 

1 minute ago, Js1 said:

 

Belichick to Dallas, Mack back to NC, profit

Belichick would've been another 5 years of mediocrity.

6 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

Does the HC really matter as long as Jerry is still the GM? How can you succeed when ownership doesn't really care about winning?

I've always felt that there is someone out there who is super competent as a coach and has the perfect skills to manipulate Jerry Jones' ego so that he agrees to what the HC wants. It would have to be a real asshole with psycopathic tendencies. I used to think Urban Meyers might be able to pull it off. Kiffin could probably do so on the manipulation side but I'm not sold on his coaching skills. There has to be someone out there but the odds of the connection being made is next to zero.

2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I've always felt that there is someone out there who is super competent as a coach and has the perfect skills to manipulate Jerry Jones' ego so that he agrees to what the HC wants. It would have to be a real asshole with psycopathic tendencies. I used to think Urban Meyers might be able to pull it off. Kiffin could probably do so on the manipulation side but I'm not sold on his coaching skills. There has to be someone out there but the odds of the connection being made is next to zero.

Sounds like Bill Belichick to me

People still think Belichik is a good coach? Brady leaving exposed him for what he was

2 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

Sounds like Bill Belichick to me

Nah, they would constantly butt heads, I don't see Belichick taking shit from Jerry. It has to be someone with overwhelming charisma and a maniuplative personality.

ps I also don't think Belichick is hot shit anymore, he had his run with Brady, and is now just a oldhead who deserves respect, but not a new NFL job.

Edited by 'stache

17 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

Belichick would've been another 5 years of mediocrity.

Replace Belichick with literally any other name you can think of and this statement remains true. Nothing will change until Jerry Jones is no longer in control of the team. 

1 hour ago, Jive Turkey said:

please welcome the new head coach, Spaulding.

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Double turds!!!

1 hour ago, FunkSoulBrother said:

Add Doug Pederson

super. bowl. winning. coach.

 

35 minutes ago, Burt said:

An aggy friend told me McCarthy is the 2nd greatest coach in Cowboy history.  Without even asking who he thought was #1, I reminded him Tom [Laundry] and Jimmy Johnson both coached the Cowboys.  He said McCarthy was more successful "on the whole" than Johnson because they both coached 5 years, but McCarthy had more wins (84 to 80) and a better winning percentage (.583 to .550).  With this logic, I'm surprised he didn't mention Switzer's name as well.

you’re friend was clearly doing a bit.  nobody is that stupid. 

Best news is the old dog staff will be gone, other than Zimmer.

Zim is old, but he actually wasn't a bad head coach at Minnesota. I'd take him with a slew of bright young gun offensive minds.

Just now, kingkoopa6 said:

Go get someone actually good. 
 

like Andy or Kyle. 

Ok aggy

Let’s get that weirdo from Miami, would at least provide some entertainment.

It will be Deion and the Cowboys will trade 10 first round picks to the Titans to get Sanders at number 1 and put him behind Dak.  

 

Edit: forgot the Patriots screwed themselves by winning the last game.

Edited by chemHORN

45 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

Does the HC really matter as long as Jerry is still the GM? How can you succeed when ownership doesn't really care about winning?

No. The cap is so mismanaged the team can’t afford to meaningfully improve in the trenches on either side of the ball. I’m not convinced Derrick Henry or Barkley would have any success running. Cowboys’ best hope is to improve through the draft and again, we have a Jerry Jones problem 

1 hour ago, 6th Street said:

Kliff Kingsbury

is NOT a Head Coach.  He's currently doing what he is best at- coaching the hell outta QBs.

 

Now that is a special kind of incompetence 

Quote

Because the #Cowboys waited a week to move on from Mike McCarthy, Jerry Jones also missed the window to request interviews with candidates on a bye, like #Lions OC Ben Johnson and DC Aaron Glenn. If Dallas wants to talk to them, they’ll now have to wait until Detroit’s season ends. A self-inflicted setback.

 

Since it doesn't matter who the coach is, go get Elko and screw aggy in the process. 

As everyone mentioned it doesn’t matter who the fuck he hires.  So at least get us prime so we can get max entertainment…

Meanwhile, in Houston...

fucking hell

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25 minutes ago, Mo Horn said:

Since it doesn't matter who the coach is, go get Elko and screw aggy in the process. 

I think aggy is being screwed just fine with Elko as is.

Just now, tx 3 putt said:

mccarthy to pittsburgh 

tomlin to dallas 

Jimmy? Is that you?

2 hours ago, dcar00 said:

Belichick to Dallas, Mack back to NC, profit

The obvious solution is for Jerry to hire Mack brown. 

Doesn’t Daks contract preclude Deion by way of precluding getting Sheduer?

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