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Dallas Cowboys 2024 Season Thread -- Jerrah the Asshat Rides Again

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Jerry will hire Deion.  No doubt.
They cut the phone lines when he wanted to draft Johnny Football instead of Zack Martin, but all the guardrails are gone now.
The Deion era starts this month.

Lot of chatter to that end tonight.

If Jerry does it, I’m gonna go full Jerry (Seinfeld) on the deal.

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  • Firemans4Horn
    Firemans4Horn

    The Brian Schottenheimer hire is the Jonathan Mingo of trades, the Taco Charlton of draft picks, the Terence Steele of contract extensions, the blinding 3pm glare of stadium designs. 

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32 minutes ago, statsman said:

The mid day 1310 show was speculating whether Sark would want the job. Har de fucking har. Like he would really pass on coaching Arch Manning so he could “coach” Dak Prescott under the watchful eye of Jerry Jones. 

While possibly taking a pay cut

So, people think Jerry at this stage of his life is really going to hire one of the few dickheads in the known universe that has an even more of a bloated ego than his own? Someone who is going to demand all credit for any potential Cowboys success?

I don't see it. But it gets people yapping and clicking on links. 

Edited by DougO

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Sounds like you enjoyed the Chad Hutchinson era

Ryan Leaf was my dog

For those that remember. 

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or this guy

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or this one:
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40 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

Only man who can "save" the Cowboys 

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what a fucking badass. 

8 hours ago, DougO said:

But it gets people yapping and clicking on links. 

Isn’t that why he’d do it? Eyeballs, clicks, interest = $$$$$$

3 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Isn’t that why he’d do it? Eyeballs, clicks, interest = $$$$$$

He will play it up and tease like he's super interested and gonna hire Deion for that reason, but ultimately won't do it. He'll end up hiring Kellen Moore or some stupid shit.

Of course not. I just hope it’s someone who adds fuel to the dumpster fire.

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55 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

Only man who can "save" the Cowboys 

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One other person who could save the Cowboys

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Seems like convenient way to check one of the Rooney rule boxes.

It’s dumb to assume Deion can’t be a good NFL head coach. I’d take him over Zimmer, Moore, or the other potato personalities that are the likely hire. But as has been said he’d take too much attention from Jerry and would never happen. Plus we ain’t trading up for Shedeur. Probably a Rooney Rule phone call.

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

Grimm reaper not gonna help

Unless he can crash the entire Jones family plane into a mountain, then there might be a chance. 

2 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

One other person who could save the Cowboys

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I'm still trying to figure out why cowboys fans think his dipshit son will do a better job running that circus. He's like Jerrah, except with no success on his own merits, correct? 

12 minutes ago, Blotto said:

I'm still trying to figure out why cowboys fans think his dipshit son will do a better job running that circus. He's like Jerrah, except with no success on his own merits, correct? 

So he’s gonna be twice the attention whore and half the “competence,” as it stands with most nepobabies in business 

The only positive about him is he looks pretty rough already and has aged a lot over the last few years.  I don't think his reign will be long.

12 hours ago, SizzleChest said:

Jerry will hire Deion.  No doubt.

They cut the phone lines when he wanted to draft Johnny Football instead of Zack Martin, but all the guardrails are gone now.

The Deion era starts this month.

Do It Now Lets Go GIF by Zypto

14 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

probably since Jeff Saturday.

Does he count as part of the Mack Brown coaching shrub? Also wasn't he just an interim hire? Jerrah still has plenty of runway... Just fuckin' do it damnit!

28 minutes ago, kevwun said:

The only positive about him is he looks pretty rough already and has aged a lot over the last few years.  I don't think his reign will be long.

Old, super-rich men who people are waiting for to die live for-fucking-ever. 

1 hour ago, Blotto said:

I'm still trying to figure out why cowboys fans think his dipshit son will do a better job running that circus. He's like Jerrah, except with no success on his own merits, correct? 

I guess the only saving grace is that he may be lazier than Jerry, with less of an ego, so may actually hire someone to do the job, instead of half-ass claiming to do it himself, only to disrupt any actually progress or positive culture. 

1 minute ago, EvilCaseMcCoy said:

I guess the only saving grace is that he may be lazier than Jerry, with less of an ego, so may actually hire someone to do the job, instead of half-ass claiming to do it himself, only to disrupt any actually progress or positive culture. 

I never got the sense that Jr or Charlotte cared about the spotlight nearly as much as Jerry. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. 

25 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I never got the sense that Jr or Charlotte cared about the spotlight nearly as much as Jerry. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. 

Those two aren't the problem...

Was the cowboys hc job not coach primes target when he started this whole process?  Prob just surprised he's trajectory brought him to this point so quickly.  Doesn't he live in Dallas too?  

14 hours ago, Newy25 said:


If this happens I’m officially done. After 44 years I have endured Danny White, the early Jimmy Johnson years, the Switzer era, Dave Campo, Quincy Fucking Carter, Drew Bledsoe’s corpse, The Ginger and now Fat Fucking Retard McCarthy but if Jerry hires Deion that’s my breaking point. 

You forgot how unceremoniously he fired the greatest Cowboys coach ever.

Other than the attention whore clash Deion makes perfect sense. 
 

This job is a head coaching career killer for the Kellen Moore’s, Jason Witten’s, Kliff Kingsbury’s name your “younger up and comers” of the world.  They would all be wise not to touch it with a 10 foot pole. 
 

Other than retreads just looking to cash in on one more pathetic chance and don’t care what it means for them Deion and his Primetime persona is the only one who can survive the Jerry shitshow when it goes bad. 

16 hours ago, TornACL said:

It took me 30 years but I am completely dead inside as a Cowboys fan, so I hope they make the most ridiculous hire yet and that it crashes and burns spectacularly. Fuck you Jerry, you fucking imbecils.

I was here after last offseason...when they literally did NOTHING and claimed they were broke. It was the stupidest shit i've seen from an organization.

4 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Grimm reaper not gonna help

Nope...Sure it'd rid us of Jerry, but he still will listen to Will and some others and let them reel him back a bit.

Stephen is going to go full on Dollar Store Cowboys and nickel and dime every fucking thing.  They'll be the richest team in all sports and paying everyone minimum wage or less becuase they're cash poor.

 

As for coaches, i don't give a shit. No one is saving them. The ones that could the Cowboys won't interview/hire, or they'll be smart enough to stay away.

They'll get another retread to keep them winning 10 games a year...a safe guy like Kellen, or even a fun guy like Deion who might be big enough to tell jerry to shove it privately AND publicly.

I can't believe I'm about to type this, but of the names I've seen, I could see Lincoln Riley working out or at least being worth a shot. He already seems to not be that big with the limelight and might be fine letting Jerry do his thing. And as much as the majority of this board thinks Dak is the problem, he's not going anywhere, and Riley seems like the best chance to maximize what he has. He can't bring anyone he knows to the defensive staff however, even Jerry could do a better job making a DC hire than Lincoln. Flame away, just bullshitting at this point. 

Vampire feeding off mass disappointment... it all makes so much sense now...

 

 

Someone potentially being a really good NFL coach and someone potentially being a successful coach for the Cowboys under the current leadership is a venn diagram with no overlap.  There is no success under the current ownership/GM structure.  Any successful NFL coach knows this so they are off the list of candidates, so you are left with guys like Moore or Gruden who's only current path to a HC job is with the Cowboys.

1 minute ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Someone potentially being a really good NFL coach and someone potentially being a successful coach for the Cowboys under the current leadership is a venn diagram with no overlap.  There is no success under the current ownership/GM structure.  Any successful NFL coach knows this so they are off the list of candidates, so you are left with guys like Moore or Gruden who's only current path to a HC job is with the Cowboys.

I think somebody exists out there who could make it work but no way to know who it is and almost no chance of it actually happening. For example, Joe Brady would be a great hire, but he's the type of young innovative coach who has a bright future and knows better than to answer the phone for Jerry fucking Jones. 

1 minute ago, 'stache said:

I think somebody exists out there who could make it work but no way to know who it is and almost no chance of it actually happening. For example, Joe Brady would be a great hire, but he's the type of young innovative coach who has a bright future and knows better than to answer the phone for Jerry fucking Jones. 

Jerry Jones has become Al Davis and Mark Davis all rolled into one. 

I became a fan in 1970, fucking diehard. I said I'd be done with the Cowboys if Jerry hired Campo and the next fucking day he did, Campo said yes sir Mr Jones sir at the press conference and all I could do was laugh.  I really haven't cared that much since so hire Deion, at least it would be  interesting.

2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I think somebody exists out there who could make it work but no way to know who it is and almost no chance of it actually happening. For example, Joe Brady would be a great hire, but he's the type of young innovative coach who has a bright future and knows better than to answer the phone for Jerry fucking Jones. 

They don't spend money correctly and make horrific trades.  There is no accountability for the GM position so the team basically has one hand tied behind it's back.  Short of lucking into a generational QB there is no recipe for a coach to overcome that.

Jerry is no  Rooney, but his willingness to let a HC run its course has to be a positive in that assessment.

2 hours ago, chemHORN said:

 

that’s pretty bad.  just makes you appreciate gordo even more.  

Seven head coaches since Jimmy Johnson. Not one of them has accomplished anything during or after their tenure as Cowboys coach.

Why anyone on the planet thinks this is a good job is completely beyond me.

17 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Seven head coaches since Jimmy Johnson. Not one of them has accomplished anything during or after their tenure as Cowboys coach.

Why anyone on the planet thinks this is a good job is completely beyond me.

It's a good job for coaches who want to get paid and break out their shine boxes early and often. 

Fuck it. I’m fully on the Prime Time train, bring it on. 

He ain't going to the Cowboys because he'll want to get Shadeur. 

At least Jerrah has covered the Rooney Rule with this...

6 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

isn't it time for new threads for the coaching search and the 25 offseason?

Can’t we just copy and paste the last 29 years of threads?

30 minutes ago, The Dog said:

He ain't going to the Cowboys because he'll want to get Shadeur. 

At least Jerrah has covered the Rooney Rule with this...

Sanders can still fall to 12. Who ahead of Boyz need a qb 

I feel like Prime would at least be entertaining.   It will probably end up being Moore and we'll see the Campo era repeat itself. 

Edited by MIkeHoncho

Deion would be a three year train wreck that everyone would tune in to watch and would provide non-stop content for the sportstalk business. Might as well maximize revenue. 

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