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Dallas Cowboys 2024 Season Thread -- Jerrah the Asshat Rides Again

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It would be worth it just to see reporters ask Deion question post game, then Jerry chimes in, reporters nod along, and go right back to Deion. Make that old fuck realize nobody gives a shit about your old ass thoughts.

Edited by 'stache

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    The Brian Schottenheimer hire is the Jonathan Mingo of trades, the Taco Charlton of draft picks, the Terence Steele of contract extensions, the blinding 3pm glare of stadium designs. 

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Don't leave Chan Gailey and Bum Phillips out of the conversation. Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys have become the sports equivalent of an elephant graveyard for coaches. A few escaped, notably Sean Payton. Wouldn't be surprised if Jones approched him before his epic run with Drew Brees. That coulda been us. In fact, didn't the Cowboys have a shot at Brees and passed on him? In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Payton told Jerry Thanks but no thanks.

Jerry will never spring for a proven Super Bowl caliber coach. Never. Best we can hope for is a budding kick ass motherfucker. That could be a Witten type, maybe, but sure as not that lightweight Deion. Fuck him. The one quality I want to see in this new coach is someone big enough and mean enough to scare the fuck outta his players.

Wade.
Wade damned Phillips.

1 hour ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Don't leave Chan Gailey and Bum Phillips out of the conversation. Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys have become the sports equivalent of an elephant graveyard for coaches. A few escaped, notably Sean Payton. Wouldn't be surprised if Jones approched him before his epic run with Drew Brees. That coulda been us. In fact, didn't the Cowboys have a shot at Brees and passed on him? In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Payton told Jerry Thanks but no thanks.

Jerry will never spring for a proven Super Bowl caliber coach. Never. Best we can hope for is a budding kick ass motherfucker. That could be a Witten type, maybe, but sure as not that lightweight Deion. Fuck him. The one quality I want to see in this new coach is someone big enough and mean enough to scare the fuck outta his players.

Chan Gailey, forgot all about the first coach in Cowboys history to not win a Super Bowl.

Theres a non-zero chance Cowboys hire Deion and his son Shadeur holds out for two years and becomes a free agent and/or threatens to hold out to force a trade to the Cowboys.

31 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:

Theres a non-zero chance Cowboys hire Deion and his son Shadeur holds out for two years and becomes a free agent and/or threatens to hold out to force a trade to the Cowboys.

I'd be ok with this 

12 hours ago, kingkoopa6 said:

Sanders can still fall to 12. Who ahead of Boyz need a qb 

Won’t have to fall. Jerry can trade the entire draft for him Saints/Ricky style for maximum entertainment.  

12 hours ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Don't leave Chan Gailey and Bum Phillips out of the conversation. Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys have become the sports equivalent of an elephant graveyard for coaches. A few escaped, notably Sean Payton. Wouldn't be surprised if Jones approched him before his epic run with Drew Brees. That coulda been us. In fact, didn't the Cowboys have a shot at Brees and passed on him? In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Payton told Jerry Thanks but no thanks.

Jerry will never spring for a proven Super Bowl caliber coach. Never. Best we can hope for is a budding kick ass motherfucker. That could be a Witten type, maybe, but sure as not that lightweight Deion. Fuck him. The one quality I want to see in this new coach is someone big enough and mean enough to scare the fuck outta his players.

I’ve seen him do it before.

 

also,

Sean Payton tried his damnedest to get Romo to New Orleans.

 

https://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2019/6/28/18681400/sean-payton-tony-romo-trade-saints-cowboys-drew-brees-what-if

 

 

Which do you think was more responsible for the success of those Saints teams? Payton or Brees?

Edited by lilMAC25

On 1/10/2025 at 9:51 AM, mdmost said:

 

 

 

I've been thinking this. Other teams kick the tires on fat Mike, look at tapes of some of his game management skills, and he's no longer a hot item, if he ever actually was. Or maybe Mike sees just how bad those other organizations are not looking like a better situation. 

Jerry may get his short term deal and kick the can down the road another year or two...or not.

Both options scare me. Keeping the same status quo vs. making another dumpsterfire hire.

I almost embrace mediocrity by now. Losing hope can do that.

 

 

2 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

 

 

Holy shit,  that can't be real. Surely, Jerry is just trolling. 

Look, yall need to resign yourselves that this team is cursed. The Red Sox had the “Curse of the Bambino”. The Cubs had the “Curse of the Billy Goat”. The Cowboys have “The Curse of the Hillbilly Owner”. 
 

Some of us are old enough to have lived through the creation of America’s Team and the success during the 70’s. We suffered a few years until Jimmy righted the ship. For those of you born in to Cowboys fandom after those glory years??? You’ll be the fans your grandchildren are at the cemetery drinking a celebratory beer next to your tombstone the next time the Cowboys win a Super Bowl. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.

5 minutes ago, Hate said:

Look, yall need to resign yourselves that this team is cursed. The Red Sox had the “Curse of the Bambino”. The Cubs had the “Curse of the Billy Goat”. The Cowboys have “The Curse of the Hillbilly Owner”. 
 

Some of us are old enough to have lived through the creation of America’s Team and the success during the 70’s. We suffered a few years until Jimmy righted the ship. For those of you born in to Cowboys fandom after those glory years??? You’ll be the fans your grandchildren are at the cemetery drinking a celebratory beer next to your tombstone the next time the Cowboys win a Super Bowl. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.

Its Been A Long Time Waiting GIF

15 hours ago, Duane Moore said:

Deion would be a three year train wreck that everyone would tune in to watch and would provide non-stop content for the sportstalk business. Might as well maximize revenue. 

Sure, because JJ damn sure doesn't care about winning. If he did, he would have fired the GM 20 years ago.

15 minutes ago, BigHornedLurker said:

Its Been A Long Time Waiting GIF

I mean, it's been a long ass time, but it ain't aggy.

33 minutes ago, DougO said:

 

Holy shit,  that can't be real. Surely, Jerry is just trolling. 

rooney

45 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

 

It's pure Rooney rule but that wouldn't be the worst hire.  His defenses have ALWAYS been good no matter how bad the offense is, and he never had a real QB when he was with the jets(rodgers was hurt or pretty much done).  If they find a good OC(big IF), they could do MUCH worse than Him.   

I'd rather him than some other old head(Rivera/Pederson ect...) retread honestly.

The defense would be solid under Saleh.  He's an over the top rah-rah guy, but he was the fall guy for Aaron Rodgers sucking.  They would have had a good team if he was even still half way good.

Edited by kevwun

26 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I mean, it's been a long ass time, but it ain't aggy.

Ehh GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

aggy has played for a conference championship more recently.

21 minutes ago, Drew said:

 

I'd rather him than some other old head(Rivera/Pederson ect...) retread honestly.

Jeff Fisher

17 minutes ago, Teebox said:

Jeff Fisher

Or him...

28 minutes ago, kevwun said:

The defense would be solid under Saleh.  He's an over the top rah-rah guy, but he was the fall guy for Aaron Rodgers sucking.  They would have had a good team if he was even still half way good.

Pretty much...they had awful QB play and while you can overcome mid QB play in the NFL and still be decent(like Pittsburgh), you can't have awful play.

56 minutes ago, Teebox said:

Jeff Fisher

Only if we get to see him get fired on Hard Knocks 

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

I mean, it's been a long ass time, but it ain't aggy.

It's not aggy sure but it's jerrah

How long do you think his kid will run the show after he dies ? 

 

 

2 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Sure, because JJ damn sure doesn't care about winning. If he did, he would have fired the GM 20 years ago.

so you want an owner that just sits there and writes checks and then questions nothing?......when has that ever worked......you agreed to the deal when Jerry bought the team and that was Jerry would be the GM! 😁

17 hours ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Don't leave Chan Gailey and Bum Phillips out of the conversation. Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys have become the sports equivalent of an elephant graveyard for coaches. A few escaped, notably Sean Payton. Wouldn't be surprised if Jones approched him before his epic run with Drew Brees. That coulda been us. In fact, didn't the Cowboys have a shot at Brees and passed on him? In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Payton told Jerry Thanks but no thanks.

Jerry will never spring for a proven Super Bowl caliber coach. Never. Best we can hope for is a budding kick ass motherfucker. That could be a Witten type, maybe, but sure as not that lightweight Deion. Fuck him. The one quality I want to see in this new coach is someone big enough and mean enough to scare the fuck outta his players.

Don't disparage O.A. "Bum" Phillips by associating him with Dallas.  

I don’t consider Saleh as a bad option. Nobody could win in that ckusterfuck of an organization and with Rodgers at the his peak of his broken ass brain.

Dallas is a clusterfuck of an organization. The Jets at least went to back to back AFC title games in recent memory…with Dirty Sanchez at QB. 

1 hour ago, Hate said:

Dallas is a clusterfuck of an organization. The Jets at least went to back to back AFC title games in recent memory…with Dirty Sanchez at QB. 

And today, even with the hand wringing, the cowboys, ON THE FIELD, are in a much better situation than the Jets when he was there.  It's why most have Dallas as the top landing spot(until you add in the off the field reasons it shouldn't be)

Makes no difference. You could trot out today’s version of the seventy eight Steelers and they’d still find a way to gag. That’s the power of Jerry’s rancid vibe.

2 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

you agreed to the deal

I don’t think any of us have a say 

Anyone else want to strangle him every time he says “Doll-us”?

1 minute ago, Sawbonz said:

Anyone else want to strangle him every time he says “Doll-us”?

Debbie Does Dollus

So… I’m kinda surprised Joey Freshwater hasn’t been mentioned. 

But more than that, Ryan “Blackbeard” Day might be a decent fit with Jerry. They could make their own official hair and beard dye of the Dallas Cowboys thing. I’m kinda serious. They are going to suck, might as well hire Ryan Day to do us all comical favors. 

Edited by Gucci_Suit

Folks that should be considered 

 

Tony romo 

Tom Brady 

Peyton Manning ( he would draft arch) 

 

Leslie Frazier is the latest coach that the Cowboys have requested to interview. LMFAO

5 hours ago, Pig Bellmont said:

I don’t think any of us have a say 

did you like those three super bowls?  I hope you did.

Time for jerruh to quit being lazy and to go ahead and take over as head coach as well.  It’s the only way to be sure. 

Does Witten want to be an NFL coach?  I mean if he wants to be an NFL coach it seems like he'd be an assistant somewhere and putting in his time rather than coaching high school.

1 hour ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Does Witten want to be an NFL coach?  I mean if he wants to be an NFL coach it seems like he'd be an assistant somewhere and putting in his time rather than coaching high school.

My guess would be he wants to finish out coaching his 2 sons through high school.  Maybe Dallas is the only location he'd take an NFL job because he could see his kids play.

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Do It Episode 3 GIF by Star Wars

 

1 hour ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Does Witten want to be an NFL coach?  I mean if he wants to be an NFL coach it seems like he'd be an assistant somewhere and putting in his time rather than coaching high school.

He should have been offered an asst position coaching role after he retired, like other former players have. I think having the opportunity to coach his kids may have been a factor in that not happening, at least after that awkward brief career in announcing that never should have happened.

Edited by DougO

I'm for anything different at this point. Another white bread old fuck aint gonna change anything. 

JJ and Prime just doing each other a solid. Deion fishing for a bigger contract at CU, Jerry getting massive doses of clickbait pub. 

2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I'm for anything different at this point. Another white bread old fuck aint gonna change anything. 

I think the biggest problem with McCarthy was that almost his entire staff was old fucks that were somewhat detached from modern NFL trends. 

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