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Dallas Cowboys 2024 Season Thread -- Jerrah the Asshat Rides Again

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  • Firemans4Horn
    Firemans4Horn

    The Brian Schottenheimer hire is the Jonathan Mingo of trades, the Taco Charlton of draft picks, the Terence Steele of contract extensions, the blinding 3pm glare of stadium designs. 

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There is a chance that when the teams come out after the half, Ben Johnson will be HC of the Cowboys.

Imagine your daddy has forgone yearly vacations with the family and building decades long family memories so he can buy season tickets to this crapfest of mediocrity so he can hang at the tailgate with the bros eating dried out brisket and drinking Miller Lite in his $200 Dak replica jersey.  He stumbles multiple times per year into the stadium to watch the game on the giant TV in Jeruhworld because his $6000 seat is 600 ft from the field. He'll puke in the restroom on the way out and stumble to his lowered 1995 Chevy 1500 to drive home inebriated with a blood alcohol of 1.2 then proceed to yell at his wife and kids because he's frustrated that Cowboys somehow, this year, didn't rise above three decades of mediocrity.

You guys are soooo mean to Dak. He would be a champion if he was on any other team.

 

~Drew
paraphrased

1 minute ago, Newdoc said:

Imagine your daddy has forgone yearly vacations with the family and building decades long family memories so he can buy season tickets to this crapfest of mediocrity so he can hang at the tailgate with the bros eating dried out brisket and drinking Miller Lite in his $200 Dak replica jersey.  He stumbles multiple times per year into the stadium to watch the game on the giant TV in Jeruhworld because his $6000 seat is 600 ft from the field. He'll puke in the restroom on the way out and stumble to his lowered 1995 Chevy 1500 to drive home inebriated with a blood alcohol of 1.2 then proceed to yell at his wife and kids because he's frustrated that Cowboys somehow, this year, didn't rise above three decades of mediocrity.

Don't forget to enjoy Arbys 

1 minute ago, Newdoc said:

Imagine your daddy has forgone yearly vacations with the family and building decades long family memories so he can buy season tickets to this crapfest of mediocrity so he can hang at the tailgate with the bros eating dried out brisket and drinking Miller Lite in his $200 Dak replica jersey.  He stumbles multiple times per year into the stadium to watch the game on the giant TV in Jeruhworld because his $6000 seat is 600 ft from the field. He'll puke in the restroom on the way out and stumble to his lowered 1995 Chevy 1500 to drive home inebriated with a blood alcohol of 1.2 then proceed to yell at his wife and kids because he's frustrated that Cowboys somehow, this year, didn't rise above three decades of mediocrity.


can you be more specific; that description fits half a dozen posters on this board. 

10 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

only down 21 !!!!

That's only 7 FGs to tie it!

Does Fat Mike make it to Tuesday?

1 minute ago, ztejas said:

Does Fat Mike make it to Tuesday?

Who's taking over? Zimmer? He can't even call a good defense. Everyone knows McCarthy is a dead man walking. Just play this turd out. 

Edited by mdmost

7 minutes ago, Rex Kramer said:

Who?  I’d like to know who here wastes this kind of money and time to hang out with complete undesirables. 

 

immamacground.jpg

3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Does Fat Mike make it to Tuesday?

Yes. He's a lame duck with zero chance to be brought back next year. Jerry will ride this season out. Jerry only fired Wade mid season in 2010 because his boy toy Garrett was taking over

How is the offense this shitty? They've put almost all the money into it. 

No bullshit garbage time comeback to lose by 4. Lose by 40+, fire the staff, and start over. It won't matter as far as winning anything in the future, but at least it'll be a new flavor of losing. 

You know Campbell isn't letting up either in the 2nd half after last season's game. Holy shit, is it January already? This feels so familiar. 

Edited by mdmost

Dak can't beat good teams. What else is new? 

Just now, mdmost said:

You know Campbell isn't letting up either in the 2nd half after last season's game. 

Yep. That's what I was thinking before this game. He'd be on a mission today.

Just now, gofuckyourself said:

Yep. That's what I was thinking before this game. He'd be on a mission today.

I hope he hangs 50

I'd say I feel bad for cowboys fans but yall keep filling up Jerry's pockets with $$$. Not sure what could be done to remove him and family from having so much influence on football operations.

I hope he hangs 50
I hope he hangs 500
19 minutes ago, Newdoc said:

Imagine your daddy has forgone yearly vacations with the family and building decades long family memories so he can buy season tickets to this crapfest of mediocrity so he can hang at the tailgate with the bros eating dried out brisket and drinking Miller Lite in his $200 Dak replica jersey.  He stumbles multiple times per year into the stadium to watch the game on the giant TV in Jeruhworld because his $6000 seat is 600 ft from the field. He'll puke in the restroom on the way out and stumble to his lowered 1995 Chevy 1500 to drive home inebriated with a blood alcohol of 1.2 then proceed to yell at his wife and kids because he's frustrated that Cowboys somehow, this year, didn't rise above three decades of mediocrity.

Spot on. Here we gooooo!

1 minute ago, Jshep34 said:

I'd say I feel bad for cowboys fans but yall keep filling up Jerry's pockets with $$$. Not sure what could be done to remove him and family from having so much influence on football operations.

I hope he hangs 500

I vowed years ago not to give the Cowboys another dime till Jerry is gone.

I think it is smart of dallas to rest players earlier in the season to prepare for the playoffs

Texas may actually play for MNC. Fuck the cowboys. This is Jerruh‘S team. He is to blame for all of it. No coach can fix it. No coach. Jerruh built it and won’t hire a GM bc Jerruh wants to say he won the Super Bowl and it was all him. Well enjoy not winning shit ever. At least we are getting exposed now and not believing we can win it all and getting pantsed in playoffs. 

3 minutes ago, Firemans4Horn said:

The cowboys oline is like 5 make a wish kids. 

Yet I'm the one getting the terminal illness watching them play.

I’m glad I got to see Jimmy assemble a team that won the titles.  Because I am never going to see Jerry do it. 

Been there and it sucks.  I feel for the poor guy.

Spoiler

image.png.0afa74639def7c7728e6123dc8bfed01.png

Spoilered for Nicole

Edited by ATXbronco

1 minute ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Ooof to Detroit. Lose your best player for the season in a blowout.

this shows the smarts of dallas to rest some of their players early in the season

That guy fell down wrong, right? Because there is no way any Cowboy hits hard enough to hurt anyone. 

I rewound the play and you can literally hear the poor bastard’s leg snap during the play. It’s brutal. 

"Weather the storm" DRINK.

Dammit and I had just recently saw a video of Hutchinson meeting a young fan wearing his jersey at an airport.  

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