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JD Vance Fucked 5 couches as a hillbilly, then went on to kill the pope

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A staff mutiny forced the management of a plush British countryside pub to turn away JD Vance, just weeks after the same venue hosted Kamala Harris, according to reports.

The vice president had reportedly attempted to dine at The Bull in Charlbury, Oxfordshire, an early 16th-century countryside pub with a Michelin Bib Gourmand, a prestigious award from the Michelin Guide that highlights restaurants offering excellent food at moderate prices.

However, the staff reportedly staged a mutiny, telling management that they wouldn’t show up to work if the venue accepted Vance’s dinner booking, according to a Popb---- newsletter from Thursday.

The rejection is all the more embarrassing considering that former Vice President turned presidential hopeful, Kamala Harris, dined there just weeks before, as part of the pre-wedding dinner for Steve Jobs’ daughter, Eve. She married Harry Charles, a 26-year-old British Olympic equestrian, in the Cotswolds, a sprawling area of natural beauty in south-west England, at the end of July.

“It’s been the talk of the village-it’s the most exciting thing that’s happened here for a very long time,” one local told British tabloid The Sun of Harris’s visit.

“Unfortunately, I’m not able to comment,” a staff member told The Daily Beast via phone call when quizzed on Vance’s reported rejection. She referred the Beast to the owner of the venue, Public House Group, which has been contacted for comment. Representatives for Vance have also been contacted.

Charlbury, a small town near the 18th-century manor where Vance and his family stayed while in the Cotswolds, was also the scene of a colorful protest against his visit on Tuesday. The “Dance Against Vance” protest was punctuated by placards dubbing him a “war criminal,” and images of a meme that shows a bald and baby-faced Vance with rosy, swollen cheeks.

 

Residents in Charlbury and the tiny hamlet of Dean, where the manor house is situated, quickly grew weary of Vance and his entourage of vehicles and Secret Service agents. Even the deputy mayor of Chipping Norton, not far from Dean, spoke out against his vacation.

“We’ve had a curtailment of our freedoms here, just by his mere presence, in terms of where we can walk and where we can be,” said Steve Akers. “And the American Secret Service knocking on people’s doors and asking about their Facebook profiles.”

His latter comment relates to reports that his protection detail had demanded social media profile information from those living in the area. Thames Valley Police, the British force that supported the United States during the Vice President’s visit, denied these claims, however.

 

“Residents were under no obligation to answer any questions and were not asked about social media,” a force spokesperson said.

“The whole charade was obscene. No respect,” Alice Chanders wrote on a local forum. “Good riddance….." added Rosemary Bennett, as the Vice President moved on to Scotland. He flew on Air Force Two with his family on Wednesday evening.

On Thursday, the first full day of his visit north of the border, Vance played golf at Donald Trump’s Turnberry course in South Ayrshire. It comes just weeks after Trump himself visited the course.

The couch fucker is just on constant vacation on our dime, eh?

27 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

The couch fucker is just on constant vacation on our dime, eh?

Sure, but maybe we're better off with him out of the country.

9 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Did this make the Final Cut of the movie?

Yeah, it's the scene right after he goes to the grocery store and decides to not buy a pork butt because he doesn't think a butt would taste very good.

15 minutes ago, The Hot Dog Buffet said:

Yeah, it's the scene right after he goes to the grocery store and decides to not buy a pork butt because he doesn't think a butt would taste very good.

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20 minutes ago, The Hot Dog Buffet said:

I never really noticed how ridiculous his haircut is here.

Another angle where it's even more absurd

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12 minutes ago, The Hot Dog Buffet said:

What do you tell the barber to end up with that?

“Just fuck my shit up fam”

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"I'd like an assortment of haircuts. Maybe a little buzz cut. Some Lloyd Christmas. Whatever makes sense."

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Business up front, couch fucker out back. 

On 8/16/2025 at 11:43 AM, Thermos H. Christ said:

 

This site really needs a 'what the fuck?' response option.  Also,

Barber: What cut you want?

Couch Fucker:  Have you heard of my favorite author, Dr. Suess?

Barber:  Say no more fam.

image.thumb.png.b61dfd2a2cb1dc5e2adcb3ca7fefc612.png

 

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3 hours ago, The Hot Dog Buffet said:

What do you tell the barber to end up with that?

“Whatever makes sense”

3 hours ago, The Hot Dog Buffet said:

What do you tell the barber to end up with that?


Gimme dat beaker fade

IMG_4404.webp.aabe7939489e4b38841e3ed48526df0b.webp

 

 

11 hours ago, Bullneck said:

Hmmm . . . I didn't see any Erasure.  List is not complete.

Apparently not gay enough for Vance.

18 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

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honestly pretty fine with this. he can do way less damage than if he were actually working to further dotard's agenda

2 hours ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

honestly pretty fine with this. he can do way less damage than if he were actually working to further dotard's agenda

People keep saying this, but he's not even capable of buying donuts or paying someone to give him a haircut that wouldn't get a grade schooler bullied. What is he going to do to further the agenda that Trump isn't already getting done?

23 hours ago, Disco Strangler said:

This site really needs a 'what the fuck?' response option.  Also,

Barber: What cut you want?

Couch Fucker:  Have you heard of my favorite author, Dr. Suess?

Barber:  Say no more fam.

image.thumb.png.b61dfd2a2cb1dc5e2adcb3ca7fefc612.png

 

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23 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

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He's on Penelope Witherspoon's work schedule apparently 

Edited by speed817
spelling

On 8/16/2025 at 11:43 AM, Thermos H. Christ said:

 

Seems to be going for a John Kennedy Toole vibe. We should encourage that

On 8/19/2025 at 8:18 PM, Bullneck said:

Hmmm . . . I didn't see any Erasure.  List is not complete.

 

 

If this is gay I don’t want to be straight

 

 

wait

That's a fucking banger 

If this isn’t on his playlist he’s a poseur 

 

 

So glad to know that he has zero knowledge of the two world wars from the 20th century and how each ended. Jesus tapdancing Christ this guy is an absolute imbecile. 

Couch Fucker is ready to be POTUS even though his boss is in incredibly good health.

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/vance-exclusive-interview-says-hes-152504226.html

HED: Vance, in exclusive interview, says he's ready to be president while hailing Trump's health

Quote

“The president is an incredibly good health,” said Vance. “He's got incredible energy.”

...

“He's the last person making phone calls at night, and he's the first person who wakes up and the first person making phone calls in the morning,” he said.

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Vance killed the Pope, so he should have no qualms with smothering the dotard with a pillow while he’s sleeping. 

  • 3 weeks later...

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