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Featured Replies

years spent on this website made bernard quite surly.

This guy is an asshole overachiever.

  • Author
2 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

I thought you said the language was NSFW

If you work on the set of "Deadwood" I suppose it's OK. 

I could never be a cop. I would've tased him until he caught fire maybe 3 seconds in.

Was he arrested for being an asshole?   I guess that happens.  Was he wrong?   This heat and traffic can piss me off like that.  

13 minutes ago, Elvis said:

Was he arrested for being an asshole?   I guess that happens.  Was he wrong?   This heat and traffic can piss me off like that.  

you sound like a real peach. 

1 hour ago, futureman said:

you sound like a real peach. 

I’m actually as cool as a cucumber. I can relate though.  

I’m guessing that guy buried his anger down for a long time. Bill Burr understands.  

How long can you taze someone until the batteries go dead?

  • Popular Post

gentlemen: this is democracy manifest

That took about 5 minutes more than I thought it would for him to be in handcuffs.  Particularly given that is Longview fucking Texas PD.

15 hours ago, jetsfan76 said:

I could never be a cop. I would've tased him until he caught fire maybe 3 seconds in.

Seriously. You shoot one black teenager...

I don’t like traffic cops either, but damn, some people. $150 to the lawyer to handle the ticket vs. all that bs? Some people are just dumb. FAFO!

The worst part, his kid was able to see/hear it all. What a fine, upstanding example of how to handle your shit to display to your kid.

+1 to those cops, if for nothing else, staying cool while taking out the trash!

Yea, that guy is a tard. Why tf was he so worked up on his wife’s driveway spot? Would she have said f-it if she couldn’t get in and go to a Hampton inn for the night?

so how were they able to arrest him?  they got a warrant for what?

 

spacer.png

 

And, that time is when some sawed off dumb gotdamn motherfucker leaves his piece of shit in the fuckin road and blocks your wife's ability to gotdamn drive into her motherfuckin parking place in the Driveway..............with a capital D! 

But why did they finish the traffic citation and let him walk into his home before arresting him on this supposed outstanding warrant?

OK, Longview, Texas.  Someone on Surly either knows this dude, or is this dude.

Several of them certainly do it poorly, but being a policeman is an impossible job (at least for me). 

I might have had a bodycam malfunction and beat this dude's ass and left his body blocking his driveway so his wife could later thank me.

 

The way he says "boy"...he definitely uses the hard r

  • Author
2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

But why did they finish the traffic citation and let him walk into his home before arresting him on this supposed outstanding warrant?

I think cop #2 got the warrant report in his ear right as the asshole was walking in the house.

1 hour ago, orange dream said:

OK, Longview, Texas.  Someone on Surly either knows this dude, or is this dude.

Several of them certainly do it poorly, but being a policeman is an impossible job (at least for me). 

I might have had a bodycam malfunction and beat this dude's ass and left his body blocking his driveway so his wife could later thank me.

 

it’s briskettexan 

1 hour ago, orange dream said:

OK, Longview, Texas.  Someone on Surly either knows this dude, or is this dude.

Several of them certainly do it poorly, but being a policeman is an impossible job (at least for me). 

I might have had a bodycam malfunction and beat this dude's ass and left his body blocking his driveway so his wife could later thank me.

He might have slipped and hit his head on the side of my patrol car 5-7 times and then resisted, so I had to apply my training and use the minimal amount of force to prevent him from being a danger to himself or others, which included the use of the taser (3 times), pepper spray, tactical baton, and knee to face.

1234

On 8/14/2024 at 7:32 AM, baboso said:

That took about 5 minutes more than I thought it would for him to be in handcuffs.  Particularly given that is Longview fucking Texas PD.

Many years ago I was acquaintances with a Texas Ranger who travelled the state working on various investigations.  One comment he made to me was, "In Longview Texas the police will shoot you quickly."  His point was, statistically, there are some places where the cops let go of the lead faster than others, and Longview topped the list.  I pushed back and said "surely they can't get close to Houston?"  He told me I was very wrong and the big cities were, statistically, safer.

I guess this guy didn't get the memo.

2 hours ago, orange dream said:

OK, Longview, Texas.  Someone on Surly either knows this dude, or is this dude.

Several of them certainly do it poorly, but being a policeman is an impossible job (at least for me). 

I might have had a bodycam malfunction and beat this dude's ass and left his body blocking his driveway so his wife could later thank me.

 

this.

I'd never sign up for the job, but some yokel giving me that rash of shit would end poorly.

 

Kind of like Bill Burr's bit about hitting a woman.

On 8/14/2024 at 2:15 AM, 52-80 said:

gentlemen: this is democracy manifest

RIP

3 hours ago, Incredulity said:

this.

I'd never sign up for the job, but some yokel giving me that rash of shit would end poorly.

 

Kind of like Bill Burr's bit about hitting a woman.

The Surly vernacular expanded today by "rash of shit."  Well done my friend.

Urban Dictionary: ration of shit

On 8/14/2024 at 12:42 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Are you employed?

Go fuck yourself.
 

“Is that ‘Company’ or ‘Inc’?”

That’s with a capital F in case you dumb motherfuckers can't spell. 

FIF the lulz

  • 2 weeks later...
I think cop #2 got the warrant report in his ear right as the asshole was walking in the house.

There’s a high possibility its not going to end with “just sign here” and walking away if a second cop shows up!

Now, the first cop may have called for backup due to the dickhead playing the dickhead role, perfectly. But, if I had to bet, dickhead had a warrant out previous to this encounter. Hence, the second cop shows up, waiting by the front of the house.

I do wonder about the cops letting him enter the house though.

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