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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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9 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

I swear to God; he must have a closet full of nothing but Texas-based collegiate and professional team gear, so he can pander to whatever fan base he needs to.

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

  • SIAP

  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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Let's hope we get a nice cold front during the Word Series to keep that fat smelly fuck away from Houston.

10 minutes ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

 

“Eat my dick you asshole!”

Ted gets off on the hate though. 

1 minute ago, 4th&Five said:

“Eat my dick you asshole!”

Ted gets off on the hate though. 

He just chalks it up to owning the libs.

If you could deliver that hate in the form of a right hook, I bet he wouldn't get off on it nearly as much.  

Is it too much to ask that if Yankees fans are going to beat up an Astros fan in the men's room, this was the fan they should have whaled on?  I mean, COME ON.

I was ambivalent about New Yorkers, but damn I really like them.  I appreciate their willingness to let us know how they really feel.

Edited by atomheartbevo

9 hours ago, elfenix said:

i assume this happens every time ted cruz darkens a door.  even people who vote for ted cruz hate ted cruz

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I like how he waves to no one in an effort to look like people like him. 

2 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

If you could deliver that hate in the form of a right hook, I bet he wouldn't get off on it nearly as much.  

 

When you’ve lost The View !!

but seriously, fuck this douche and anyone that voted for him, a double ‘fuck you !’

 

We all remember the glory days of 2020, right?

14 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

I swear to God; he must have a closet full of nothing but Texas-based collegiate and professional team gear, so he can pander to whatever fan base he needs to.

Or he sends out some hapless assistant with an Amex the day before to get something from Academy.

 

 

100% he sends an intern to buy a XXL jersey of the most popular player.

"Name 4 Astros players" Should be a debate question in '24. 

3 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

Is it too much to ask that if Yankees fans are going to beat up an Astros fan in the men's room, this was the fan they should have whaled on?  I mean, COME ON.

The good news is that Philadelphia fans are really really friendly and well behaved.

I'm sure Ted will be greeted with open arms (and fists and knees and boots and such).

Good news Texas Cruz lovers, I was able to use all my deep network connections and got Ted a prime room at for Game #4 in Philadelphia.  And the name of that lodging place?  You guessed it...Four Seasons:

 

 

1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

100% he sends an intern to buy a XXL jersey of the most popular player.

"Name 4 Astros players" Should be a debate question in '24. 

I think name your neighbors on either side of your house would be fair.

I love it ….
 

Ally Sammarco? Yes, please

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2 hours ago, NWBuck said:

The good news is that Philadelphia fans are really really friendly and well behaved.

"Senator Cruz, welcome to our fine baseball stadium in Philadelphia.  Would you be so kind as to go fist-fuck yourself?"

Cruz gets a standing O from 95% of MMP. He gets jeered and booed by 95% of Yankee stadium. But oh yeah we’re the asshole fans. 

11 minutes ago, South Austin said:

"Senator Cruz, welcome to our fine baseball stadium in Philadelphia.  Would you be so kind as to go fist-fuck yourself?"

If we're lucky, a good hearted Philly fan will be willing to do it for Ted.

1 minute ago, Macanudo said:

If we're lucky, a good hearted Philly fan will be willing to do it for Ted.

With or without a battery?

Cruz gets a standing O from 95% of MMP. He gets jeered and booed by 95% of Yankee stadium. But oh yeah we’re the asshole fans. 

Anyone who cheers for Ted Fucking Cruz is a GIGANTIC ASSHOLE.

Anyone who boos Ted Fucking Cruz is a GIGANTIC AWESOME PERSON.

Thanks for coming to my Ted (heh) Talk.
10 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

With or without a battery?

With a 6V flashlight battery.

6 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

With a 6V flashlight battery.

Kinky.

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50 minutes ago, Helobious said:

Cruz gets a standing O from 95% of MMP. He gets jeered and booed by 95% of Yankee stadium. But oh yeah we’re the asshole fans. 

Has Rafael authored or passed a single piece of legislation ever?

3 hours ago, Satchel said:

Has Rafael authored or passed a single piece of legislation ever?

I believe he authored a proposed bill granting immunity to anyone involved in the assassination of JFK. I don’t think it got out of committee.

 

But, of course, Ted Cruz would find a grotesquely proportioned mannequin made of modeling clay "gorgeous."

I hate this world. I tell my wife I just want to live long enough to see my daughters be independent and successful (hopefully only 18 more years). But I kind of would like to make it long enough to Lisa on both Dan Patrick’s and Ted Cruise’s* graves.


















I am fully aware of the correct spelling of his last name. As a latino, I am offended by him as a human as well as his desire to whitewash his ethnicity (except when it’s convenient for him). I hope both of them die of ass cancer.

9 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I am fully aware of the correct spelling of his last name.

Well now you're offending Tom Cruise.  How about Ted Crooz?

100% he sends an intern to buy a XXL jersey of the most popular player.
"Name 4 Astros players" Should be a debate question in '24. 

There are many good players, it’s hard to have a favorite. The ball club this year has so many great, great glove wearers and batsmen. But to be honest, a favorite player is a very personal question, and I think I should keep it to myself.
1 hour ago, Fastbreak said:


There are many good players, it’s hard to have a favorite. The ball club this year has so many great, great glove wearers and batsmen. But to be honest, a favorite player is a very personal question, and I think I should keep it to myself.

And the response? "Senator, this should be easy! In fact, one of the Astros stars has a tattoo of Two Corinthians on their forearm.... surely you knew that?"

On 10/7/2022 at 8:46 PM, HenryJames said:

 

Doesn't have the courage to tell the truth.  Oh the irony.

 

On 10/14/2022 at 5:47 PM, atomheartbevo said:

He’s going to jinx the Astros.  

 

Here is a longer clip in Kimmel's monologue

 

 

Is that really Four Seasons Total Landscaping?  Not sure.

Edited by Bullneck

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He reminded me of Ed Grimley last year in that photo he took at Mar-a-Lago with his head directly under Trump's dick portrait.  Glad I'm not the only one that sees the connection.

"Well, I must say...pretty excellent of Pat Sajak to send Marjorie Taylor Green and myself to Cancun along with some lovely parting gifts from 'Wheel of Fortune', I must say.  He's pretty terrific doncha think?"  Weird because Ed Grimley and Ted Cruz are also both Canadian, but you're not supposed to know that when you watch either of them 'perform.'  

On 10/28/2022 at 4:13 PM, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

TC never misses a chance to be an absolute piece of shit

 

I completely believe Ted Cruz actually eats kittens for breakfast.  

8 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

I completely believe Ted Cruz actually eats kittens for breakfast.  

Why is Ted Cruz's dog Snowflake trending?

25 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

I completely believe Ted Cruz actually eats kittens for breakfast.  

He eats pieces of shit for breakfast.

 

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

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