Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

Featured Replies

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

Among other places.

  • Replies 7k
  • Views 535.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

  • SIAP

  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

Posted Images

On 10/24/2022 at 8:46 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

not all heroes wear capes. Some wear yankees caps.

 

As a Red Sox fan, I've spent my entire life hating the Yankees.....

It's a little misty up in the office today after watching that. 

beautiful happy endings GIF

i don't often open this thread but every once in a while i read the title and just have to post...

 

tenor (5).gif

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

Clint Eastwood Coffee GIF

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Among other places.

Oh, gross.

2 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Among other places.

In all my years of shaggy and surly, I have never given out a single neg rep. You're pushing it, muchacho.

The ref at my kid's soccer game today looked just like Ted Cruz. I felt bad for the guy, but I just really had this serious urge to punch him in the face the entire game.

7 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

The ref at my kid's soccer game today looked just like Ted Cruz. I felt bad for the guy, but I just really had this serious urge to punch him in the face the entire game.

As someone who spent something like 14 years watching my kid claw his way up the ranks of club soccer, I support this message.

No, he was actually a good ref. There were a couple of calls that made me raise my eyebrow, but nothing egregious. I just had this primal need to punch him in the jaw because he looked like that fuckin' Canadian traitor. 

On 10/31/2022 at 1:34 PM, mchookem said:

i don't often open this thread but every once in a while i read the title and just have to post...

 

tenor (5).gif

Fail Donald Trump GIF by NowThis
 

Not Happening No Way GIF

Why the fuck are he and Patrick in the parade?

On 10/31/2022 at 10:08 AM, South Austin said:

He eats pieces of shit for breakfast.

 

You are what you eat

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

Why the fuck are he and Patrick in the parade?

Because Ted and Dan are shameless panderers? Ted is a huge troll, anyway, and that seems to have been apparent for decades.

Didn't want to put it in the Gameday thread because CR, but I was thinking how funny it would be if someone really tone deaf at ESPN decided it would be a good idea for Cruz or Abbott to be the guest speaker on Gameday this weekend. "Hey, it's the state capitol, and election day is Tuesday. It's a perfect match!". You wouldn't hear a word out of their mouths with the boos. 

  • Popular Post

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

Edited by Longhorn_Fan68

  • Popular Post
15 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

They say you shouldn't meet your heroes but I’d like to replace the beer that guy sacrificed 

I prefer the olden day method of rotten tomatoes. Gets the point across without injuring a person. It looked like there were other people, including children on that ride.

 

Ted should be used to having shit slung at him, but to waste a beer like that on him, of all people, makes no sense to me.

Can we do a meme of the NSA guy from "Red October" asking Ted..."Let me get this straight Ted, you got a second beer thrown at you at a family parade?"  

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

52 minutes ago, SizzleChest said:

Ted should be used to having shit slung at him, but to waste a beer like that on him, of all people, makes no sense to me.

86e801af-287a-4971-8812-8ab55ba759ac_tex

11 minutes ago, elfenix said:

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

BeautifulFreshArctichare-size_restricted

13 minutes ago, elfenix said:

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

the only thing Cruz can catch is Beard Crabs from sucking off Trump.  

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

that beer hero dude is going to be charged and indicted. Anybody got a link to a gofundme account?

Nothing to worry about....it was a lovers quarrel....

  • Popular Post
57 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Can we do a meme of the NSA guy from "Red October" asking Ted..."Let me get this straight Ted, you got a second beer thrown at you at a family parade?"  

6zwki1.jpg.21571225a0714b441a8ed300cc7e3381.jpg

 

  • Author
2 hours ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

What a bitch, at least W could dodge things thrown at him.

shoe throwing GIF

Edited by Grade of D as in David
Jimmyjazz beat me to it

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

lol This pathetic Reek has never done anything 1/10th as cool as that.

face34f6e82a961ae8fc2546170f6a6f.jpg

I'm no fan of teddy C but throwing a beer can at him is just deplorable.

Should have used a bottle.

 

  • Popular Post

image.gif.3d148a233d0bec3fe020ad1f62859851.gif

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

3 minutes ago, EuroHorn said:

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

If there was a left wing version of Ted Cruz we would all hate him too. The right has a monopoly on those types of shitheads though 

  • Popular Post
29 minutes ago, Poe It Up said:

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

Surly's own Carlos Mencia, everyone. If you're gonna steal a joke (A) at least make sure it's a funny one; and (B) not already sitting in this thread a few posts above yours.

I prefer the olden day method of rotten tomatoes. Gets the point across without injuring a person. It looked like there were other people, including children on that ride.
 
[lobo]Heidi was too busy fucking the other half of Houston to be there[/lobo]

Hey don't look at me, those (mostly true) stories started long before I ever brought it up.  Best way to get Ted and kids outta the house on a Monday for some dayfucking is tell 'em "Grand Marshall tickets for everyone, you can park at my office!"  

People are mad that it's a white claw. I say it's pisswater and I'm glad a good beer wasn't wasted.

55 minutes ago, Poe It Up said:

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

Maybe it was his wife? I'm sure she hates him, too. 

15 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Maybe it was his wife? I'm sure she hates him, too. 

Pretty sure it was Ted's dad behind the grassy knoll.

53 minutes ago, EuroHorn said:

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

It was his gay lover apparently so it’s more of a lover’s quarrel. We know how your side feels about those kinds of spats.

5 minutes ago, deac_tracy said:

Pretty sure it was Ted's dad behind the grassy knoll.

So there was a second-tosser?  

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.