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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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every time I hear TC speak I learn that his constituents are even dumber than I imagined. in order to believe the shit he says you gotta nearly braindead dumb. apparently they are

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

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    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

12 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

Didn't he "win" some extremely dubious "most likely to" honor at Harvard?

I think the most shitty thing about him is that he doesn't have to be such a smarmy asshole.  I'm not a fan of Cornyn, and he did/said some shit during Covid that made me want to kick him in the nuts, but he doesn't out of his way to be an asshole.  He's an asshole, but just by nature.  He's not trying.  

Cruz knows he doesn't have to do anything to get re-elected.  He just has to be alive and continue to have the "R" after his name and he's guaranteed re-election for at least 2024, and likely 2030.  Most, not all, but most GOP Senators from red states just kinda go about their business.  Yeah, they bash the democrats to raise money and just sit on the sidelines to derail the legislation that McConnell tells them to derail.  But Cruz wakes up each day, scrambles his media team, and just plots how to be a fucking jagoff.  It's completely self-directed.  Nobody needs him to be out there saying shit.  His own party, his own chief-of-staff, his big donors, nobody ever says, "Ted, get out there and make that resting Cruz face and say some asshole, condescending shit."  He, of his total own volition, rises and sleeps just waiting to suck.  

Every active Republican I know in other states chimes in frequently with the "what the fuck with Ted, man?"  I can't name the majority of Republicans in the Senate.  But every single fucking active GOP'er in other states knows Ted Cruz and doesn't get why the guy can't just shut the fuck up and operate in the shadows like most of their guys do.  The only explanation is that he knows he's being a dick and likes the pushback.  It would certainly explain why he's totally cool with Heidi getting railed on the reg by other dudes.  

He gets off on the hate.  There's no other reason for him to be in that parade.

9 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

He gets off on the hate.  There's no other reason for him to be in that parade.

He gets off on attention, and it doesn't matter to him whether it's hate or praise.

He gets off on the hate.  There's no other reason for him to be in that parade.

Lizards need sunshine to regulate body temperature.
I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.
Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:
image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

Ted Cruz and Mackenzie Kelly are poster children for ranked choice voting to avoid time-consuming and expensive run-off elections. Cruz defeated Dewhurst where tea party hoopleheads tipped the scales in Cruz’ favor because he was their reptilian candidate and a better choice over milktoast establishment conservatives. The establishment conservatives had the audacity of bailing out banks to avoid a global depression and chaos.

Cruz and the GQP feed on chaos, use it as a ladder, and always have an escape hatch, gated community, flights to other countries, and/or security force to bail them when shit gets real.
8 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:

Cruz and the GQP feed on chaos, use it as a ladder, and always have an escape hatch, gated community, flights to other countries, and/or security force to bail them when shit gets real.

cruz definitely gives off littlefinger vibes

6 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:


Ted Cruz and Mackenzie Kelly are poster children for ranked choice voting to avoid time-consuming and expensive run-off elections. Cruz defeated Dewhurst where tea party hoopleheads tipped the scales in Cruz’ favor because he was their reptilian candidate and a better choice over milktoast establishment conservatives. The establishment conservatives had the audacity of bailing out banks to avoid a global depression and chaos.

Cruz and the GQP feed on chaos, use it as a ladder, and always have an escape hatch, gated community, flights to other countries, and/or security force to bail them when shit gets real.

Many of the worst politicians follow the same initial path like Cruz: lose the primary but just keep the winner shy of 50%. Then somehow win the run-off when much fewer voters turnout. Primary run-offs is only about gotv and that can require a small but enthusiastic group.

6 hours ago, South Austin said:

Ted Cruz has dingleberries in his beard.

So wait...Heidi has dingleberries? 

1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

about as likeable as John Murray in Moving Violations

Moving Violations (1985) - IMDb

Ah yes, John Murray.  The Frank Stallone of the Murray Family.  

40 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

So wait...Heidi has dingleberries? 

Heidi?  He hasn't anywhere been down there for at least a decade.

13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Heidi?  He hasn't anywhere been down there for at least a decade.

Lobo assures us everyone in a 70 mile radius except Ted.

1 hour ago, aggie08 said:

Lobo assures us everyone in a 70 mile radius except Ted.

It ain't me that's assuring you...it's her wet ass pussy.   You need assurances brother?  Get a fucking mop.  

Damnit they are correct, the right IS getting better at comedy. That Herschel Walker part is high comedy on multiple levels. 1161656C-0502-480F-97A7-3B32B544BC7E.thumb.png.bf49b04f763edabfaa214227af8b60c1.png

3 hours ago, FORTY NINE TO ZERO said:

Lolololol  Harris County Judge Hildago meanwhile not only catches the beer but gifts it to Yordan 
 

Link to ticktock video

 

cruz is such a pussy 

I may be in love.  

"Herschel Walker Deserves a say in our leadership"

- Steve Pelluer, 1987

- Ted Cruz, 2022

This. Is. Awesome.  Cross-posting from the Twitter thread:

 

1 minute ago, tx 3 putt said:

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Seems to enjoy being dominated 

Does he buy sport coats in the boys' section?

Houston has many great men’s clothing stores. You goto 5 stores, buy 3 outfits at each. It’s that simple 

58 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

FhdYDAVWQAMcUMd?format=jpg&name=large

Find you someone who looks at you the way Ted looks at Herschel(s). 

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fat cuck in a little coat

This is so wonderful to listen to that I don't care if it has been already posted:
 

 

  • Author
7 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

This is so wonderful to listen to that I don't care if it has been already posted:
 

 

I can't find it now but I thought I saw earlier that 93% of the candidates that Cruz supported lost so he's raging against himself.

I imagine it's been posted here before, but I saw this sticker on a car this afternoon. Made me chuckle.

 

61kHaZI-rlL._AC_SL1000_.jpg

Ted is finally feeling what the rest of the human race feels about him.

And I think that’s neat.

5 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

Ted is finally feeling what the rest of the human race feels about him.

And I think that’s neat.

ftfy

11 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

This is so wonderful to listen to that I don't care if it has been already posted:
 

 

Fake mad. The guy is not sincere about anything.

He's trying real hard to sound tough, but nobody believes him.

Cruz loves that the GOP lost the Senate again. He needs to run that the GOP is failing and needs new leadership. It's always easier to run and seek donations when you're not the party in control. 

Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........

"Resting Ted Face"

-or-

"Resting Cruz Face"

give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  

On 11/16/2022 at 6:48 AM, miguelito said:

He's trying real hard to sound tough, but nobody believes him.

he's afraid of white claws

1 minute ago, chainsaw said:

he's afraid of white claws

So he's not actually paying Marjorie Taylor Greene for footjobs then?  

39 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........

"Resting Ted Face"

-or-

"Resting Cruz Face"

give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  

Resting Raphael Face

We workshopped that, but it's too many syllables out loud.  to match "resting bitch face"...you gotta go with one, short syllable.  Both Ted and Cruz work for it, just a question of which one has a more poetic flow....

41 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

So he's not actually paying Marjorie Taylor Greene for footjobs then?  

not sure what is the most disgusting thing about this image but i hate you for making it

$20 says the next time you walk past the White Claws at the grocery/liquor store...you throw up a little bit in your mouth.   You're welcome

1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

$20 says the next time you walk past the White Claws at the grocery/liquor store...you throw up a little bit in your mouth.   You're welcome

thats the only sane reaction to white claws anyway

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3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

We workshopped that, but it's too many syllables out loud.  to match "resting bitch face"...you gotta go with one, short syllable.  Both Ted and Cruz work for it, just a question of which one has a more poetic flow....

Off topic but can I interest you in a resting Mitch face slogan?

Yeah but Mitch looks like what an old southern asshole should look like.  Little long in the jowls for a fella his size but he’s about right.  
 

Cruz looks an alien was coming here and was going through the facial selection process and picked ‘portly asshole human’ and they just shoved it over him.  

Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........
"Resting Ted Face"
-or-
"Resting Cruz Face"
give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  
Already been done. And resolved.

Come on, Ted!

you're right.  I was gonna ask Heidi which one she prefers but she couldn't answer me.  Ya know...on account of she's always got somebody else's dick in her mouth. 

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