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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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3 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm shocked he didn't launch an investigation into White Claw after the Astros World Series victory parade.

 

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I could watch that all day long. Next up: sticks & stones.

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

  • SIAP

  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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So, we are investigating advertising campaigns now? If so, I really want to put an end to Scott Elder and his extremely poor advertising decisions! It's been going on for decades and must be stopped.

3 minutes ago, pacman said:

So, we are investigating advertising campaigns now? If so, I really want to put an end to Scott Elder and his extremely poor advertising decisions! It's been going on for decades and must be stopped.

this sounds like something Scott Elder would say to throw a smoke screen
Emotion Reaction GIF

3 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm shocked he didn't launch an investigation into White Claw after the Astros World Series victory parade.

 

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Needs more active throwers to be effective, imagine a 12 pack.

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Ted:  who threw the White Claw can?! 
 

Crowd: 

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7 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm shocked he didn't launch an investigation into White Claw after the Astros World Series victory parade.

 

tumblr_7abccf31045e35b76050e204502a12be_34f0c6b4_400.gif.e2f3836f1af24892403065eee56f581a.gif

Did they ever dust for Heidi's prints on that can? 

18 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm shocked he didn't launch an investigation into White Claw after the Astros World Series victory parade.

 

tumblr_7abccf31045e35b76050e204502a12be_34f0c6b4_400.gif.e2f3836f1af24892403065eee56f581a.gif

Jesus, that unathletic fuck, or maybe they don't play catch on his home planet. Catch that thing, pop the top, down it, crush it, can flip...President Cruz.  But, then again, if Rafael possessed those abilities or instincts, he might be the type of guy that a young daughter would be happy to see when he gets home from a week on the campaign trail.

Edit: not that catching beer cans and chugging are qualities a daughter needs to see in father in order to love him. More that maybe if he was able to do things like that, he might not have become such a weasle-ey preening asshole. PS:  The guy next to him must be his progeny. Not even close and actually helps Ted get beaned. 

 

Edited by Tigersnake

On the next episode of "Ow, my ballz!"  

(That's how you know he doesn't have any, didn't even flinch) 

Edited by YGIFS

19 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm shocked he didn't launch an investigation into White Claw after the Astros World Series victory parade.

 

tumblr_7abccf31045e35b76050e204502a12be_34f0c6b4_400.gif.e2f3836f1af24892403065eee56f581a.gif

 

Is that how they catch in Canada?

 

Would Cruz think Dr. King more in line with Ted's travel inclinations if they called for an advisory for Florida but declared Cancun a "Party Zone"??? 

Or a list of states where Heidi has been fucked?  A list of states where his children have to be ashamed of who their father is?  A list of states where hate crimes against blacks enabled by the likes of Ted Cruz have been committed?  There's a buncha ways we can draw up these travel suggestions, Ted.  Oh, oh...how about the one where every time you travel back to your "home state" in Houston...you can't check into a hotel because people will recognize you so you ride back in the same black SUV to stay in Steiner Ranch and your State Director's home so you can pretend to be serving your home district while somebody is serving your domestic spouse while your children fucking hate you?  Is that anything you feckless cunt?  

8 minutes ago, brakeman said:

 

Thread title checks out ...

  • 2 weeks later...

THAT is how he decorates his office? Vomit

Edited by safe sex

5 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Son of a bitch. 
 

Bjork is lobbing Cruz to pass a law saying 1st UT vs ATM game is in BCS.  

 

Cruz won his first race by 16 points. He won the second by 1.5 points. The more Texans learn about him, the less they like him. Let’s hope the trend holds.

14 minutes ago, Satchel said:

Cruz won his first race by 16 points. He won the second by 1.5 points. The more Texans learn about him, the less they like him. Let’s hope the trend holds.

And the more Abbott, Patrick, and Paxton have to come down hard on Harris County voting.

What in the fuck with you guys and the AI program called "Nightmare Fuel"  Like we don't have enough weird shit going on in real life, somebody gotta do this shit?  

On 5/30/2023 at 10:44 PM, brakeman said:

 

Flies crawling all over him and Pence.  I wonder why?

3 hours ago, Bullneck said:

Flies crawling all over him and Pence.  I wonder why?

Thread title covers it

I'm sorry, did he bring youth football receiver gloves to a natural disaster?  

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40 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I'm sorry, did he bring youth football receiver gloves to a natural disaster?  

Those are the gloves he wears to wash Heidi's soiled panties.

You mean the ones her mother laid out for her?  

4 hours ago, tx ind said:

Thread title covers it

that or the lizard suit needs a refreshing

  • 2 weeks later...
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And don’t forget about all the dirt that Lobo has on Heidi!!!

1 hour ago, tx 3 putt said:

Fry piggy ….

 

Wow:

 

HE MEDIA IS NOT MAKING A BIG ENOUGH DEAL ABOUT THIS. Special Counsel Jack Smith has called for tapes that implicate Ted Cruz in attempts to overturn Biden's certification and he’s sweating bullets. This is a big deal.

In the ongoing investigation by the Justice Department surrounding Trump's false claims of "voter fraud" — Smith want to rely on recordings made by former Fox News producer, Abby Grossberg to paint a clearer picture of the events that unfolded leading up to, and following, Trump's "big lie."

This seems like a pretty big f*cking deal. And here’s the thing. Now that the DOJ has completed processing Trump in the classified document case, their focus will turn to election interference. Cruz has to be nervous because he’s going into overdrive smearing the DOJ.

While news broke in April about Cruz’ conversation with Fox host Maria Bartiromo suggesting a commission be created to look into "voter fraud," it’s very possible we could hear about a Ted Cruz indictment soon. Cruz added at the time that he'd assembled 11 senators willing to join in on objecting to electoral certification, which would prompt a 10-day audit. What we do know is Jack Smith isn’t messing around…Sleep tight, Ted!

1 hour ago, South Austin said:

And don’t forget about all the dirt that Lobo has on Heidi!!!

With dirt like that, no wonder Ted needs those gloves.  

 

  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/27/2023 at 2:37 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Wow:

 

HE MEDIA IS NOT MAKING A BIG ENOUGH DEAL ABOUT THIS. Special Counsel Jack Smith has called for tapes that implicate Ted Cruz in attempts to overturn Biden's certification and he’s sweating bullets. This is a big deal.

In the ongoing investigation by the Justice Department surrounding Trump's false claims of "voter fraud" — Smith want to rely on recordings made by former Fox News producer, Abby Grossberg to paint a clearer picture of the events that unfolded leading up to, and following, Trump's "big lie."

This seems like a pretty big f*cking deal. And here’s the thing. Now that the DOJ has completed processing Trump in the classified document case, their focus will turn to election interference. Cruz has to be nervous because he’s going into overdrive smearing the DOJ.

While news broke in April about Cruz’ conversation with Fox host Maria Bartiromo suggesting a commission be created to look into "voter fraud," it’s very possible we could hear about a Ted Cruz indictment soon. Cruz added at the time that he'd assembled 11 senators willing to join in on objecting to electoral certification, which would prompt a 10-day audit. What we do know is Jack Smith isn’t messing around…Sleep tight, Ted!

This would be so lovely, if true.

Who is that comic?  

Tom Segura. Lives in Austin, actually. Funny dude.

Shit, I've heard him 100 times on sat radio, never saw his mug though.  Funny guy, though I never understood why he associates himself with Amy Schumer.  But for another thread.  But basically she's not only a joke thief, but the standup equivalent of Ted Cruz in terms of how many other comics fucking hate her.  

Anyway, Ted's gotta be enjoying this DeSantis implosion right now.  He's finally not the most unliked Republican in America right now.  That's not nothing...

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Who is that comic?  

Tom Segura, he lives here in Austin, and he and his wife run their "Your Mom's House" podcast/whatever here (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg).  He's around our age, so lots of stuff we'd actually get.

You've probably seen him with Bert Kreischer on the 2 Bears 1 Cave podcasts

 

segura's bit about going into an unmarked cinderblock building to buy porn for the whole floor in college is the funniest thing i've ever heard

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