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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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25 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

If every time you came back to Texas, donors offered you premium seats to the biggest games, and your family tacitly told you to please stay away from the house...you'd probably go to the ballgame too.  T

This is the only remotely human aspect of Ted Cruz.

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

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  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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A "Ted Cruz is not our standard" banner at the next big game seems like the only way to break the curse.

22 minutes ago, dcbc said:

A "Ted Cruz is not our standard" banner at the next big game seems like the only way to break the curse.

Don't waste the money.  He'd just take a pic of the banner, and jerk off to it later.  

Though I'm starting to doubt given his generous post 2021 girth, he can even see his own dick these days.  

I’d love to see Jerry’s reaction when he shows up to a Playoff game in full cowboys gear

22 minutes ago, MrBig said:

I’d love to see Jerry’s reaction when he shows up to a Playoff game in full cowboys gear

He'd probably have him as a guest in his box given that he is a donor to his campaign. Not to mention his donations to the campaigns of Abbott, Patrick and Paxton. 

2 minutes ago, royiv said:

He'd probably have him as a guest in his box given that he is a donor to his campaign. Not to mention his donations to the campaigns of Abbott, Patrick and Paxton. 

This works well so the fans don’t rip Ted apart and Jerry also has a built in excuse for when the team falls apart.

1 hour ago, South Austin said:

This is the only remotely human aspect of Ted Cruz.

With many fathers this is a great age (adolescence) to step up and be a dad to daughters in one of the more emotionally rewarding (and challenging!) ways. I was very thankful for having someone who could absorb some of the pent up teen angst and energy and redirect it in positive ways, who could role model male behavior that was constructive and fair-minded, who encouraged w/o belittling feminine thought and behavior, who was a sounding board for the (pardon) dumb things boys sometimes do or say, and so on. It can forge a stronger relationship that progresses from teen to adulthood and for those of you that have daughters, count your blessings even when you want to yell at the clouds because they'll always have your heart and you theirs.

6 hours ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Curses and jinx’s arent real. Jfc christ guys. Aee we all grown adults on here?

 

I just fucking hate Ted Cruz… especially when he tries to rep UT

I dunno… clearly your proclamations on game threads have some powerful hoodoo/voodoo powers unexplainable by science. 

2 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

With many fathers this is a great age (adolescence) to step up and be a dad to daughters in one of the more emotionally rewarding (and challenging!) ways.

He probably has a hard time relating to human girls though, so right out of the gate, there’s a barrier.

Nah, He's a natural... 

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Not creepy... 

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In that second photo, he looks like Pee-Wee Herman's evil Cuban twin.  

13 hours ago, YChang said:

I dunno… clearly your proclamations on game threads have some powerful hoodoo/voodoo powers unexplainable by science. 

Ballgame!

Someone on Twitter called him Fat Wolverine and I think that works.

On 1/4/2024 at 10:00 AM, Macanudo said:

Someone on Twitter called him Fat Wolverine and I think that works.

Get it right, it’s Vulvarine

4 minutes ago, cactusflinthead said:

Well, there's your problem.

Happy Cracking Up GIF by Regal
 

Gotta give him credit. Ted is an equal opportunity jinx and does not discriminate based on cities in Texas.

edit: if he’s not there in person, then you know it’s too cold for him.

Edited by atomheartbevo

24 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

This is well beyond a series of coincidences at this point.

There comes a point where he’s just being an asshole to Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, and Houston.

9 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Is he at the game?

 

I figured he'd be in Cancun.

22 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Is he at the game?

It’s freezing in Dallas, so probably not.

15 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Fucker better stay away from the Texans bandwagon.

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2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

There comes a point where he’s just being an asshole to Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, and Houston.

Not even Baylor

 

Seize Everything, Ted? Including the means of production, Ted? Commie Ted Cruz.

In all seriousness, I had never heard the "seize everything" motto until last night and the first thing my mind went to was "seize the means of production" and laughed as the juxtaposition of having that be the motto of a Texas football team.

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Lick them boots.
 

How it must be to go through life as a simpering, spineless toadie. The only explanation for why he wakes up each day and doesn’t kill himself is that he has zero self-respect or dignity. Zero. Below zero, maybe.

Shouldn't he on his way to the Texans playoff game here in a minute?  
He reminds me of the scene in "Go!" when Timothy Olyphant is describing "Family Circus"..........'And then there's Ted Cruz in the back of the stadium...just waiting to suck.'  

1 hour ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Lick them boots.

 

Wait, Ted just endorsed Trump?

Happy Chris Hemsworth GIF by Marvel Studios
 

Happy Season 9 GIF by The Office
 

Will Ferrell Reaction GIF
 

 

49 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Wait, Ted just endorsed Trump?

Happy Chris Hemsworth GIF by Marvel Studios
 

Happy Season 9 GIF by The Office
 

Will Ferrell Reaction GIF
 

 

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Proud to be supporting a criminal for public office?  Lower than whale shit at the bottom of the ocean.  How does this insane bastard remain in office?

6 hours ago, AnTiM said:

Proud to be supporting a criminal for public office?  Lower than whale shit at the bottom of the ocean.  How does this insane bastard remain in office?

Forget it, @AnTiM, it's Texastown.

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14 minutes ago, berlinerbaer said:

 

Not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe like in 2016. 

The undecideds are too embarrassed to claim voting for Cruz.

He better be nowhere near M&T Bank Stadium tomorrow.

21 minutes ago, yoladu said:

He better be nowhere near M&T Bank Stadium tomorrow.

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18 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe like in 2016. 

It was 2018. Y’all should have called me on this. 

He better be nowhere near M&T Bank Stadium tomorrow.
I was flying out of IAH early this morning and saw his fat ass walking to a gate. Don't know the destination. It did take all I could muster to not yell out "hey you fat fuck".

Apparently he needs a police escort these days.
10 minutes ago, Irwin F Fletcher said:

I was flying out of IAH early this morning and saw his fat ass walking to a gate. Don't know the destination. It did take all I could muster to not yell out "hey you fat fuck".

You failed us.  C'mon, man.

1 minute ago, Irwin F Fletcher said:

Wife thought I said "hey look, it's that fat fuck Tom Cruise"....... wtf?

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52 minutes ago, Irwin F Fletcher said:

Didn't need to risk not getting up to OKC for Turnpike tonight.

Wife thought I said "hey look, it's that fat fuck Tom Cruise"....... wtf?

You could have just asked him if his dad killed JFK like President Trump said he did.

Edited by atomheartbevo

15 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

You could have just asked him if his dad killed JFK like President Trump said he did.

I've heard it may or may not be state law that you throw a full beer can at him prior to such a question.  

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