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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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#1701
18 minutes ago, SameSame said:

Ted Cruz releases statement..       ‘Look, my wife and kids are so goddamn dumb there is no way they could find the hotel without me.   Trust me she’s dumb, I told my wife it was chilly outside, and she headed out the door with a spoon.  Dumb, fucking dumb I tell you.  Go America!’

“And my wife is also ugly. My hero and our savior Donald Trump said so!”

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

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    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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#1702
1 minute ago, Bruh Man said:

"Hell yes, we're going to take your ar15's"

Beto kinda effed himself with that comments. If he had Allred's politics he'd probably win the rematch.

True. But politics aside and in all seriousness, we really should take all the AR15s.

#1705
1 minute ago, Bruh Man said:

 

That is a lot of fucking donuts.

#1706
1 hour ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

Yeah, so we are supposed to believe he flew down to Cancun just to bring his kids there and was planning on returning the next day?  Sure

He needed a large expanded carry-on with him for that quick, one-night turnaround trip.    

#1707

So it's pretty easy to understand (while still infuriating) how a GOP Senator gets re-elected in Texas no matter how big of an asshat they are but I have no memory of his primary. 

Just looked back at some things from the time, still pretty perplexed why him but I did find this. Of course one of his first big endorsements was Sarah Palin.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sarah-palin-endorses-ted-cruz-senate-texas_n_1507213

I know Republicans have been steadily headed down this long dumb road for a long time but the decision to put her on that ticket really seems like an inflection point where this whole MAGA nightmare was supercharged.

#1708

Member back when Lil Marco blurted out a line in Spanish at Ted, and Ted shot back a string of Spanish sounds? I member.

Anyway, with that in mind, think of the stress Ted has to feel in Cancun, sure, it's Taco Bell Mexico and all the waiters know some English, but some uninformed local could still turn around, bump into Ted, and then say more horrible foreign words. I tell you that would be stress like a ticking time bomb.

Y'all don't appreciate the sacrifice.

#1709
8 minutes ago, Bruh Man said:

Cruz pushing the slim cut of the Patagonia Nano Puff to it's operational limits.

#1710
30 minutes ago, Js1 said:

I would bet he was in the United lounge, by himself, and threw the shitty cup of noodles out the door at Heidi. 

"IT'S COLD, HEIDI."

#1711
4 hours ago, South Austin said:

Shhh, don’t give Ted any ideas.

If those 1,000 Texans normally vote republican then I'm all for it.

#1715
18 hours ago, TexasEd said:

Is this Rafael headed to Cancun?  Thoughts?

 

 

Holy Shit.  When I posted this 18 hours ago I was thinking it was a shitty move but no way would I think we'd have 6 pages of #FlyinTed and the whole country dunking on Ted.

What a dumbass self-inflicted wound.

#1717
3 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

So when he gets his upgrade he leaves his wife w the kids in coach 😂

Doesn't everyone?  I've done that plenty of times.  Hell, I've paid for two sets of tickets; one business class ticket for me and put the rest of the brood back in cattle class.

#1719
20 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

 

ISWYDT

#1721
1 hour ago, hayden_horn said:

got to save somewhere to finance the last minute trip to cancun.

but seriously, i can somewhat empathize as it seems right now my 12 year old seems to subsist on nutella sandwiches and ramen. 

Throw in chicken tenders for some protein and you described my 11 year old.

#1722

"I partied in Cancun, Mexico for 9 hours and all I got was this shitty t-shirt."  

I'd really like to know how they thought this was gonna look back in Texas.  

Staff:  "Sir, we'll play it off as you going to recharge on white sand beaches with your family after the long battle to fight for Trump's rightful place back in the White House."

Cruz: "You think they'll buy it?"

Staff:  "It's gotta work better than the truth."  

 

#1726
23 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Oh boy.  I picked a bad day to miss my surly updates.  Fucking, Ted Cruise...FlyingTed

LULZ

#tedfled

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#1730
6 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

 

Bless these poor women. They finally found a way to burn their bridge with Heidi, so they no longer have to talk to Ted on couples' game night.

Edited by aggie08

#1731
1 hour ago, Blotto said:

This is the GOP. has been for awhile

He knows its a lie, we know its a lie, his constituents know its a lie. They dont care.

Republicans are dishonest.  They will cheer him, and they will reward him for this.  Republicans value dishonesty above all all else.  His approval numbers among R voters will go up.  

#1732

According to his staff, Ted was traveling to Mexico to get them to pay for the Wall (Heater).  

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

#1733

It's bad if his wife's "friends" are so disgusted that at least two of them have talked to reporters about it.

#1736
3 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

The Babylon Bee is sure making The Onion look foolish for thinking only funny satire would sell.

 

The Babylon Bee does a good job of satirizing the foibles of conservative evangelical culture. They know it well and do a good job of making light-hearted fun. Whenever step outside their comedic comfort zone, it turns into unfunny grievance politics pretending to be comedy.

#1737
8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

He has streaks of being incredibly tone deaf, and always has.  That has nothing to do with whether he's sharp or measured.

Throw in some arrogance/ego since he's not up next year.

#1738
9 minutes ago, Lobo said:

According to his staff, Ted was traveling to Mexico to get them to pay for the Wall (Heater).  

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

He's gone full Trump and he doesn't care.  He'll lie to your face and his supporters will reward him for it.  It's all about owning the libs.  Nothing else matters.  Decency and honesty went out the window with Ted a long time ago.  He's done the political calculus and decided he's better off being a lying shitbag.  So that's the role he'll play.

#1740
13 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

Republicans are dishonest.  They will cheer him, and they will reward him for this.  Republicans value dishonesty above all all else.  His approval numbers among R voters will go up.  

They will 100% cheer it on.   Look how triggered Ted got the libs!!!! 

#1741
3 minutes ago, Mole said:

The Babylon Bee does a good job of satirizing the foibles of conservative evangelical culture. They know it well and do a good job of making light-hearted fun. Whenever step outside their comedic comfort zone, it turns into unfunny grievance politics pretending to be comedy.

100% this.  I enjoy them when they point the satire finger inwards rather than outwards.  I stopped following them early last year because it was way more of the latter than the former.  

#1743
3 minutes ago, Woland said:

Can you be smart and horribly obtuse at the same time?

I hope so, that's kinda my jam.  

I am going to make a cocktail and look for Houston news feeds tonight to see his arrival at his house with these protestors.  "Oh, I'm sorry Senator...are these too not also patriots?"  

Edited by Lobo

#1745
5 minutes ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

 

I did not realize they were twins, I thought they were the same guy and then I figured out I was thinking of chris hadfield the entire time. 

Edited by Michael Knight

#1746
50 minutes ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

I've got Holiday Road stuck in my head.

 

Funny, but that song also legit gets stuck in my head all the time at random for no good reason.  I think I watched Vacation too many times growing up. 

Damn you, Lindsey Buckingham and your infectious voice and guitar riffs.

#1747
2 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

I did not realize they were twins, I thought they were the same guy and then I figured out I was thinking of chris hadfield the entire time. 

LOL.  Yeah.  Scott lives in Houston.  His dig at Flyin' Ted was masterful.  A lot of shade without being specific.  

#1748
Just now, Michael Knight said:

I did not realize they were twins

Yeah. And because of that they also did an interesting study on the effects of space on the body since one of them was in space for a year. 

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