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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

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    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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15 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

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Every time I see a pic of ol' Ted, I think of this ...

dc87901e-eebf-4ffe-bd6a-0d3ed1833ab1_tex

Would have hoped Reese Witherspoon had better sense. 

1 hour ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

I shudder to think of anyone having sex with Ted Cruz.  Ughhh.

Responses like this are why we have the fuck around and find out emoji... 

17 hours ago, Chewbacca said:
17 hours ago, Lobo said:
Heidi, you are for Scuba?  

Very underrated movie.

Great flick.

Lol.  Kirsten Powers on CNN talking about Neera Tanden's tweets.

"She said 'Ted Cruz has less heart than a vampire.'     AND????"

33 minutes ago, Gap03 said:

Every time I see a pic of ol' Ted, I think of this ...

dc87901e-eebf-4ffe-bd6a-0d3ed1833ab1_tex

Is there any doubt that Faruza is just a freak in the sack? 

30 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Would have hoped Reese Witherspoon had better sense. 

Read the badge on her lanyard.

7 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

It's Kendra Scott.

She does have really shitty taste.

11 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Re whacked out Heidi on the highway, that was probably in response to Ted's affair. Yes, there are two women on the planet who have invited Ted Cruz's dong inside their vaginas. The story was the talk of the town among Houston Dem insiders six or so years ago. Supposedly Heidi's therapist spilled this info to some buddies over margaritas, and then they told their friends, and so on.

Because it's all still rumor, I will share the side piece's identity blind item style.

This high powered alleged ex-mistress shares a common background to Ted, right down to Baptist high schools in the Bayou city and Ivy league law degrees.  Federalist society, clerking for Neanderthal judges, and so on. One might believe she first solicited his attention when he was her general in Austin circa 2004 and 2005. 

In other words, around the same time Heidi left her dream job in DC to come stand by her man in Austin, where on August 22, 2005, she was found at ten PM weeping in the grass on the corner of Enfield and Mopac. 

She was suffering from major depression, she said. I read the official police report from that incident and it seems she might have told the cop that same thing, but it seems like there was something more to it. It's heavily redacted, but it looks like he offered to have her taken to a hospital for a psychiatric check up, but she refused. She said she'd rather call her [redacted], or "get a ride home from police." The cop's response is heavily redacted. "I then relayed to Cruz, based on what I had seen and heard [three whole lines of redacted words.]"

And the report closes with "I then transported Cruz to [redacted.]

Questions: Who was it she wanted to call?  Mother? BFF? Why would calling a third party be something you'd consider in that situation if the only thing you were dealing with was depression? Or why would you want the police to escort you there? (The Cruz house was maybe a ten minute walk away.) There was something, or someone, in that home that set her off. 

And it looks like the cop took her somewhere other than her marital home that night. 

My reading is she was depressed, but we are not getting the full story as to why. It's been written off as her giving up her DC career, but I think there could be some undefeatedness going on here too. 

 

 

I’ve heard this exact same story/explanation from people who know the mistress. Heidi moves to Austin from DC, finds out Ted is cheating, and decides to take a stroll down Mopac. If only she knew that would be a high point of the marriage. 

I know it’s an “Urban Meyer is coming to Texas!” joke but Kendra Scott or any woman who voluntarily had sex with both Tom Herman and Ted Cruz needs to have their vagina condemned for their own safety.

They clearly have zero judgment and self respect.

More from that interview:
 
“Heidi is smoking hot, so I said ‘Man, you look great,’” Mr. Cruz said. “I don’t think there are many women who would be thrilled to have reporters following them around taking pictures of them in their bikinis and sticking them in the pages of the New York Post, but that’s what goes by journalism these days.”
Mr. Cruz said his wife was angry that her text messages, first published by The New York Times, inviting their Houston neighbors to travel with them to Cancún in the midst of statewide power outages had been leaked and was investigating who betrayed her confidence. Mr. Cruz said he suspected it was one of his Democratic neighbors.
“She was over at our neighbor’s house walking through it,” he said. “We have folks on our street who put up Beto signs, which I thought was pretty rude.”
https://www.nytimes.com/live/2021/02/23/us/joe-biden-news#ted-cruz-stung-by-his-cancun-saga-blames-the-media-that-covered-it
 
 
I totally put my Beto sign up in the snow covered yard. So this hits...

he needs to shut down his press tour, he's a complete idiot 

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Would have hoped Reese Witherspoon had better sense. 

That’s Tracy Enid Flick.  

11 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Re whacked out Heidi on the highway, that was probably in response to Ted's affair. Yes, there are two women on the planet who have invited Ted Cruz's dong inside their vaginas. The story was the talk of the town among Houston Dem insiders six or so years ago. Supposedly Heidi's therapist spilled this info to some buddies over margaritas, and then they told their friends, and so on.

Because it's all still rumor, I will share the side piece's identity blind item style.

This high powered alleged ex-mistress shares a common background to Ted, right down to Baptist high schools in the Bayou city and Ivy league law degrees.  Federalist society, clerking for Neanderthal judges, and so on. One might believe she first solicited his attention when he was her general in Austin circa 2004 and 2005. 

In other words, around the same time Heidi left her dream job in DC to come stand by her man in Austin, where on August 22, 2005, she was found at ten PM weeping in the grass on the corner of Enfield and Mopac. 

She was suffering from major depression, she said. I read the official police report from that incident and it seems she might have told the cop that same thing, but it seems like there was something more to it. It's heavily redacted, but it looks like he offered to have her taken to a hospital for a psychiatric check up, but she refused. She said she'd rather call her [redacted], or "get a ride home from police." The cop's response is heavily redacted. "I then relayed to Cruz, based on what I had seen and heard [three whole lines of redacted words.]"

And the report closes with "I then transported Cruz to [redacted.]

Questions: Who was it she wanted to call?  Mother? BFF? Why would calling a third party be something you'd consider in that situation if the only thing you were dealing with was depression? Or why would you want the police to escort you there? (The Cruz house was maybe a ten minute walk away.) There was something, or someone, in that home that set her off. 

And it looks like the cop took her somewhere other than her marital home that night. 

My reading is she was depressed, but we are not getting the full story as to why. It's been written off as her giving up her DC career, but I think there could be some undefeatedness going on here too. 

 

 

This reads like a Randolph Duke post.  I actually stopped and went back to check username.  

13 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

This reads like a Randolph Duke post.  I actually stopped and went back to check username.  

As a fan of @Randolph Duke, even beyond his aggy jihad, I'll take that as a compliment, even if we disagree on some things. 

Quote

Heidi is smoking hot, so I said ‘Man, you look great,’” Mr. Cruz said. 

giphy.gif?fingerprint=e1bb72ff59cf4e167a

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

As rude as Heidi’s breasts giving a Cancun tit fuck?

tenor.gif

38 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

That’s Tracy Enid Flick.  

Great Flick. 

52 minutes ago, Bama Chick said:

I know it’s an “Urban Meyer is coming to Texas!” joke but Kendra Scott or any woman who voluntarily had sex with both Tom Herman and Ted Cruz needs to have their vagina condemned for their own safety.

They clearly have zero judgment and self respect.

If that vagina takes down both Herman and Cruz?  Sheeeeeeeit, it'll have a bronze statue erected in its honor. 

Y’all need to just name names. Surly ain’t going mainstream. The forum names are too hard too understand from the outside for Bada Bing and Cloak Room. Don’t make me Google 

Edited by StassneyHorn

I don’t even live in Texas and I could figure out the “Other Woman” was someone who worked with Cruz during his tenure as Solicitor General of Texas and who went to the same schools and university as he did.

Dudes don’t read a lot of Blind Items, do they?

I tried Googling who was on his staff back then but he’s done a bunch of heinous shit in the last decade so I didn’t have any luck.

28 minutes ago, StassneyHorn said:

Y’all need to just name names. Surly ain’t going mainstream. The forum names are too hard too understand from the outside for Bada Bing and Cloak Room. Don’t make me Google 

surly is way more mainstream than you think.

Just now, hayden_horn said:

surly is way more mainstream than you think.

I know I just don’t want to do the LinkedIn groundwork

19 minutes ago, StassneyHorn said:

Surly ain’t going mainstream.

You Know You're a Study Abroad Student in Germany When... | HuffPost

 

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Senator Cruz having an affair is not of great interest to me. Senator Cruz and his wife being upset about texts leaked about their Cancun vacation do not move the needle.

Senator Cruz’s words helped to incite an insurrection in Washington DC a little more than a month and a half ago. Senator Cruz defended the honor of a president who derided him at every turn. Senator Cruz puts forth no actual legislation to help the people of Texas he represents and definitely none that helps the American people as a whole.
 

He should have been banished from ever setting foot in DC ever again after January 6th, but our government did not press the issue so we get more of Senator Cruz wasting the people’s time by again doing nothing to further legislation to help out struggling Americans of all stripes. He needs to be removed from any committee he is on and just sent to a room with no windows and made to sit there the length of every single committee meeting he was supposed to be on. Remove him from his job and get someone in there who actually cares about human beings. 

I’m like 99% sure I stopped by the HornFans tailgate in Omaha back in 09 and knew about Surly at least from 07 if I’m remembering right. I know the reach, just don’t carry usernames over.

16 minutes ago, UpperWestside said:

Senator Cruz having an affair is not of great interest to me. Senator Cruz and his wife being upset about texts leaked about their Cancun vacation do not move the needle.

Senator Cruz’s words helped to incite an insurrection in Washington DC a little more than a month and a half ago. Senator Cruz defended the honor of a president who derided him at every turn. Senator Cruz puts forth no actual legislation to help the people of Texas he represents and definitely none that helps the American people as a whole.
 

He should have been banished from ever setting foot in DC ever again after January 6th, but our government did not press the issue so we get more of Senator Cruz wasting the people’s time by again doing nothing to further legislation to help out struggling Americans of all stripes. He needs to be removed from any committee he is on and just sent to a room with no windows and made to sit there the length of every single committee meeting he was supposed to be on. Remove him from his job and get someone in there who actually cares about human beings. 

This guy gets it.

hwjtwerg1aj61.jpg

13 minutes ago, deech said:

hwjtwerg1aj61.jpg

That is just some sound business acumen on display right there.  I mean, who hasn't wanted to take a broomstick to Vulvarine at least once over the last few months?

You could sell a million of those statewide in Texas for Cinco de Mayo.  I'd buy two---fill one up with candy and little airplane liquor bottles for the adults.  And leave the other one empty, void, dead inside---just like Ted Cruz's marriage.  

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way too skinny.  make some room for more candy FFS

 

25 minutes ago, Lobo said:

You could sell a million of those statewide in Texas for Cinco de Mayo.  I'd buy two---fill one up with candy and little airplane liquor bottles for the adults.  And leave the other one empty, void, dead inside---just like Ted Cruz's marriage Heidi's sausage wallet.  

 

  • Author
22 minutes ago, Blotto said:

 

 

After Ted left her in Cancun alone with his college roommate I don't think her sausage wallet is empty anymore.

16 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

After Ted left her in Cancun alone with his college roommate I don't think her sausage wallet is empty anymore.

You know that as soon as she read about Ted blaming it on their daughters, she started fucking anything that moved.

3 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

Senator Cruz having an affair is not of great interest to me. Senator Cruz and his wife being upset about texts leaked about their Cancun vacation do not move the needle.

Senator Cruz’s words helped to incite an insurrection in Washington DC a little more than a month and a half ago. Senator Cruz defended the honor of a president who derided him at every turn. Senator Cruz puts forth no actual legislation to help the people of Texas he represents and definitely none that helps the American people as a whole.
 

He should have been banished from ever setting foot in DC ever again after January 6th, but our government did not press the issue so we get more of Senator Cruz wasting the people’s time by again doing nothing to further legislation to help out struggling Americans of all stripes. He needs to be removed from any committee he is on and just sent to a room with no windows and made to sit there the length of every single committee meeting he was supposed to be on. Remove him from his job and get someone in there who actually cares about human beings. 

Well, it would be great if it mattered that he tried to lead an insurrection. Since it doesn't this mockery over bullshit will have to do. And I think it has a better chance of defeating him in 2024 than his treachery. 

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

You could sell a million of those statewide in Texas for Cinco de Mayo.  I'd buy two---fill one up with candy and little airplane liquor bottles for the adults.  And leave the other one empty, void, dead inside---just like Ted Cruz's marriage.  

I want to go to your party.

 

5 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

he needs to shut down his press tour, he's a complete idiot 

The fact that he's keeping it going means he knows he fucked up, and this is going to come back and haunt him in his next election.

Yes, it would be great if the insurrection shit stuck, but even his base gets that many Texans were without power/heat/water, while he was jetting off to Mexico, and then trying to blame it on his daughters, especially after the tweets he made prior to leaving.  You'd be hard-pressed to find anybody in Texas who doesn't know somebody seriously impacted by last week.

Cruz is starting to remind me of Lt. Dike from "Band of Brothers" (and of course, real life in WWII).  As soon as his people start getting cold and suffer, he mysteriously has other shit to do over there, in those woods.  And they seem both about equally concerned with the folks they are responsible for.  

31 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Cruz is starting to remind me of Lt. Dike from "Band of Brothers" (and of course, real life in WWII).  As soon as his people start getting cold and suffer, he mysteriously has other shit to do over there, in those woods.  And they seem both about equally concerned with the folks they are responsible for.  

That is an insult to Dike.

hwjtwerg1aj61.jpg

You can get these at the piñata/party store across from Nova in Bishop Arts/Dallas.

0b07ba7d9fe15afab35296a5fd88705f.jpg
1 hour ago, C-Man said:


You can get these at the piñata/party store across from Nova in Bishop Arts/Dallas.

0b07ba7d9fe15afab35296a5fd88705f.jpg

That...looks like a pinata made in Dallas. I don't think that would make it on the shop floor in Brownsville, even as a markdown fuckup. 

22 hours ago, Lobo said:

You could sell a million of those statewide in Texas for Cinco de Mayo.  I'd buy two---fill one up with candy and little airplane liquor bottles for the adults.  And leave the other one empty, void, dead inside---just like Ted Cruz's marriage.  

on occasion, your loquaciousness produces poetry 😄

18 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

That...looks like a pinata made in Dallas. I don't think that would make it on the shop floor in Brownsville, even as a markdown fuckup. 

But it works because Ted shouldn't have made it onto the Senate floor, even as a markdown fuckup. 

I'll pos rep you even though loquaciousness refers to verbal speech, not the written/typed word.  

For example, "Senate rules are being considered to limit the time in which the loquacious Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, may speak.  I forget how the rule goes, but his wife's a whore."  


You can get these at the piñata/party store across from Nova in Bishop Arts/Dallas.

0b07ba7d9fe15afab35296a5fd88705f.jpg
La Pinata
Tiene Caca!
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