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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

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7 minutes ago, RPM said:

I'd just like to point out Tech was winning until Raphael posted this.

Didn't he use his weasel curse on Texas too at one point in the last couple seasons with some similar jinx-tweet in the middle of a football game? Could've been Abbott but I'm fairly sure it was "Come on...Ted!"

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    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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25 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:

Quit clogging this here internet with your twittering hot takes. RIP Ted Stevens.

“They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material”

i always thought this quote got a bit of a bad wrap. he was trying to dumb down the idea of the internet, but we still today refer to the "pipe" of the internet. fundamentally, there is nothing incorrect about that statement.

On 4/9/2019 at 1:55 PM, Bama Chick said:

I mean, I know he’s no fashion plate but WHAT IS HE EVEN WEARING HERE???

eac42030e6f9e53539b564f20145c14a.jpg

Some bootleg half ass Tech cowboy looking shirt TUCKED INTO black fucking mom jeans with some clearance JC Penney belt????

Does he not have people for this?

I just saw this.  What in the actual fuck is going on here?  It's like wolverine buttfucked bugs bunny and they miraculously bore a child, who was raised in chernobyl.  Spoiler this shit, please. 

17 hours ago, bolverk said:

Didn't he use his weasel curse on Texas too at one point in the last couple seasons with some similar jinx-tweet in the middle of a football game? Could've been Abbott but I'm fairly sure it was "Come on...Ted!"

abbott jinxed the astros against the royals in 2015

Edited by elfenix

lol Ted Cruz not knowing the meaning of “Netflix and Chill” is completely and totally on brand.

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3+ year old fake news.

Please mock the senator with real and accurate social media failures.

Here he is adding to the demagoguery and dishonesty around the attacks against Ilhan Omar. 

I watched that video 3 times and have no idea what she's talking about or what outrage Ted Cruz wants me to take away from it. Can someone here interpret it for me?

We are going to have some awful attack against muslims, if not Congresswoman Omar directly, and Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and friends are directly responsible. These are dark times.  

On 4/11/2019 at 4:21 PM, Llano Estacado said:

3+ year old fake news.

Please mock the senator with real and accurate social media failures.

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That good ol republican "humor" strikes again. That's one fucked up canadian.

 

That is just too fucked up to think about.  I had thought he was just a terrible person.  Its a lot worse than that.

  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/26/2018 at 10:24 AM, Anastasis said:

that broad has a bad case of troll face.

Let's be clear here: you like Ted Cruz?

On 4/9/2019 at 12:04 AM, TexArcher said:

Cruz is a Canadian who went to Harvard.  He's about as Texan as a fucking moose.

Princeton.   The fact that he's throwing the Guns Up pisses me off.

On 4/9/2019 at 2:55 PM, Bama Chick said:

I mean, I know he’s no fashion plate but WHAT IS HE EVEN WEARING HERE???

eac42030e6f9e53539b564f20145c14a.jpg

Some bootleg half ass Tech cowboy looking shirt TUCKED INTO black fucking mom jeans with some clearance JC Penney belt????

Does he not have people for this?

Edited by Bullneck

  • 2 weeks later...

Space Pirates... Matt Damon type or Hondo from Clone Wars type?

Ted was scarred by this movie growing up

il_794xN.1088772736_oexy.jpg

Space pirates something something our nation’s history something fictional internal organ pirates, and fiscal conservatism.

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I actually saw that movie in the theater.
Old.


Since your mom was patient zero for space herpes, the movie must’ve hit close to home.

Jesus he’s the literal worst.

 

 

 

He’s basically requesting to speak to the manager. Of the internet.

On 4/9/2019 at 1:55 PM, Bama Chick said:

I mean, I know he’s no fashion plate but WHAT IS HE EVEN WEARING HERE???

eac42030e6f9e53539b564f20145c14a.jpg

 

sometimes  your regular Canadian Tuxedo look isnt formal enough, so you bust out the black tie version. 

He was at game 6 of the rockets/warriors too. Losing just follows him around. 

7 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

 

 

He’s basically requesting to speak to the manager. Of the internet.

6D31C141-1978-437E-9B44-784592C69B06_zps

Space Pirates... Matt Damon type or Hondo from Clone Wars type?

Ted Cruz sexual fantasy type.

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Ted has finally called out President Trump, having found a cause that he (Ted)  can truly believe in:



 

Ted Cruz has finally found the courage to call out the Trump administration. He’s demanding that the president and his bureaucrats stop providing cover for the ethanol industry and stand up for fossil fuel rights.

Oil companies have long complained that the Renewable Fuel Standard (RFS), which requires refineries to blend ethanol into their gasoline, is killing their bottom line. Refiners that don’t have the capacity to blend ethanol are required to buy regulatory credits known as RINs from those that do. The industry wants the EPA to make it easier to wiggle out of compliance, which would save refiners hundreds of millions of dollars.




https://www.texasobserver.org/in-battle-between-big-oil-and-big-corn-ted-cruz-finally-called-out-trump/

 

Ted Cruz's former chief of staff, Chip Roy, is also a piece of shit

Quote

The House was unable to clear a $19.1 billion disaster aid bill Friday, after a freshman GOP lawmaker objected to a unanimous consent request.

Quote

Rep. Chip Roy, R-Texas, blocked the measure during the chamber’s pro forma session, after telling reporters he had concerns about the process as well as the substance of the legislation.

Then I'm sure he offered up some amendments to the bill. I mean, someone so fucking concerned about a bill would try and amend it, and possibly fix those problems, right?

*searches the bill*

Weird. Not finding any amendments. Typical do nothing Ted Cruz wannabe. At least read fuckign Dr. Suess on the floor of the House like your butt buddy Cruz. Be funny or something instead of being a boring piece of shit.

9 minutes ago, relapse98 said:

Ted Cruz's former chief of staff, Chip Roy, is also a piece of shit

Then I'm sure he offered up some amendments to the bill. I mean, someone so fucking concerned about a bill would try and amend it, and possibly fix those problems, right?

*searches the bill*

Weird. Not finding any amendments. Typical do nothing Ted Cruz wannabe. At least read fuckign Dr. Suess on the floor of the House like your butt buddy Cruz. Be funny or something instead of being a boring piece of shit.

His issue is that it didn't include a "modest" (his words) 4.4 billion for the border wall.  Holding disaster victims hostage for a border wall.  Piece. Of. Shit.

Edited by Longhornfan1024

This guy is a perfect example of what we still have to deal with when (if) the dotard is gone.  These people aren't going away.

Chip Roy once dangled from the anus of Ken Paxton.

On a flight to LA and Vulvarine is sitting in seat directly in front of us. Any requests, outside of our 2 year old currently screaming and probably annoying the fuck out of him?

Edited by Hank Kingsley

Ask someone close if they’ve read the Mueller Report and start talking about how cowardly the Republicans are. 

I want to say something witty, but I think a fuck Trump and fuck you, you sniveling coward while leaving the flight would suffice. 

Good idea. He currently has headphones in watching Madame Secretary on his iPad 

14 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Good idea. He currently has headphones in watching Madame Secretary on his iPad 

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28 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

On a flight to LA and Vulvarine is sitting in seat directly in front of us. Any requests, outside of our 2 year old currently screaming and probably annoying the fuck out of him?

See if you can swap seats with a 6 yr old and slip him a $20 to kick the shit out of Cruz's seat for the next 3 1/2 hours?

Dude ordered a Diet Coke and a coffee to go with his egg scramble. Confirmed serial killer.

Cruz stopped watching TV shows and is now writing out a line of questioning re:crime/gun control. I’ve seen the name John Lott a few times. Google tells me he’s a Fox News contributor and author of the book “More Guns, Less Crime”. God I fucking hate the GOP.

Stentorian tones:

"I really don't like Donald Trump but at least his wife is good looking and his dad didn't kill a President of the United States. His orange face is pretty goofy but at least it doesn't look like melting wax that somebody accidentally dropped on the floor of a bikini wax parlor."

2 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Cruz stopped watching TV shows and is now writing out a line of questioning re:crime/gun control. I’ve seen the name John Lott a few times. Google tells me he’s a Fox News contributor and author of the book “More Guns, Less Crime”. God I fucking hate the GOP.

Maybe start bitching about Chip Roy and his efforts to block disaster funding and then compare that shitty behavior to Cruz blocking funding for Sandy relief, stating something along the lines of: "Of course, Chip Roy would block disaster funding - he's just like his old boss, Ted Cruz! Why do all these carpetbaggers come to Texas and make us look so shitty?"

Talk loudly about how much your children love you, and would never embarrass you in front of the cameras.   

 

I'm assuming it's not against the law to go up to him and say "Hey, I'm a native Texan and I think you're a worthless cuckold cunt".  That would've been my choice.

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