Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

Featured Replies

I haven't been paying attention, but aren't the mask mandates pretty much over?  I mean other than NJ Transit or the airlines?

 

 

  • Replies 7k
  • Views 535.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

  • SIAP

  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

Posted Images

It's important to him because it distracts a few people from remembering his shitty voting record concerning Ukraine.

 

 
200.gif

As someone who has been on a flight with him, he was first to board (I was probably tenth) and by the time I was on the plane he had his headphones in and was watching a tv show on his tablet. No interaction with anyone. No one hugged him.
13 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

 

I Dont Believe You Will Ferrell GIF

He forgot to add that they addressed him as “sir.” His Trump impression sucks. 

4 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

What are your thoughts on Ted Cruz retweeting a post from parody news site  The Babylon Bee thinking it was real? - Quora

Freezing Major League Baseball GIF by MLB

“Almost without exception, every time I’m on an airplane, either the captain or a flight attendant will come up to me, will hug me and say, ‘Thank you for fighting for us.’”

That's a line straight out of Trump's book. "These big, powerful wrestlers, then come to me with tears in their eyes. And they tell me, Mr. President, thank you for chokeslamming Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania."

The next line Ted says is that United Airlines fired thousands of pilots and flight attendants. It was 232 employees out of 67,000:
https://www.businessinsider.com/united-airlines-232-unvaccinated-employees-are-being-terminated-ceo-says-2021-10

Two lies in two sentences. Ted's batting perfect.

One of the few things Trump got right was calling him Lyin' Ted. 

13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

One of the few things Trump got right was calling him Lyin' Ted. 

A blind squirrel drags his nuts....

On 2/24/2022 at 8:19 PM, Lobo said:

Serious question-who has swallowed more semen in the last 5 years...Heidi Cruz or Ted Cruz?  You ejaculate.  We decide.  

I kind of assumed Ted just smeared it on his face to give him that shine he used to have.  

 
200.gif

Yep. None of that shit has ever happened even by Trumpy IAH crews.
On 3/9/2022 at 12:17 AM, ERhine said:


As someone who has been on a flight with him, he was first to board (I was probably tenth) and by the time I was on the plane he had his headphones in and was watching a tv show on his tablet. No interaction with anyone. No one hugged him.

Co-signed. You sir are correct.

Not sure why anyone would lie about something that is easily debunked, as planes have a lot of folk on them. 
As someone who has been on quite a few flights with him and sitting next to him from IAH-DCA… and back… I’ve never seen anyone come up to him, much less crew. 

Crew will come by and thank folk. But they are usually FFs that are 1k and PP. 
His modus operandi once on a plane is to get on his tablet and watch a show or be on his phone. 
And I ain’t just whistling Dixie… 

CB1D004A-7B13-44C7-8C5D-18AD2CAC2CCA.jpeg

Edited by JerrysJheriCurl

Co-signed. You sir are correct.
Not sure why anyone would lie about something that is easily debunked, as planes have a lot of folk on them. 
As someone who has been on quite a few flights with him and sitting next to him from IAH-DCA… and back… I’ve never seen anyone come up to him, much less crew. 
Crew will come by and thank folk. But they are usually FFs that are 1k and PP. 
His modus operandi once on a plane is to get on his tablet and watch a show or be on his phone. 
And I ain’t just whistling Dixie… 
CB1D004A-7B13-44C7-8C5D-18AD2CAC2CCA.thumb.jpeg.bdeb27e10e2c0b8c9fc95983e12a416f.jpeg

Your dick cam?
16 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

 

There’s something seriously mentally wrong with Raphael.  

- Whitewash your name? Check. 

- Find any group and pretend you care about them when you know for a fact you don’t and you just want their votes? Check.

- Make up stories about your time on planes that can be easily debunked? Check. 

- When your constituents throughout the entire state are freezing, you hop on a plane to Mexico further proving the point you don’t care about people and just only want their votes? Check.

 

I just want to know what traumatic experience this guy had with his dad (because that relationship is weird as fuck) that made him think “well I just HAVE to be POTUS.”  It’s like he believes he was born to be President and he’s going to keep trying no matter what.  Is that the only way to achieve daddy’s love?

2 minutes ago, Pancho said:

I just want to know what traumatic experience this guy had with his dad (because that relationship is weird as fuck)

image.gif.db151ca6febd1a876737bd199c6508ec.gif

4 minutes ago, Pancho said:

There’s something seriously mentally wrong with Raphael  Donald.

- Whitewash your name? Check. 

- Find any group and pretend you care about them when you know for a fact you don’t and you just want their votes? Check.

- Make up stories about your time on planes people coming up to you and thanking you that can be easily debunked? Check. 

- When your constituents throughout the entire state are freezing, you hop on a plane to Mexico further proving the point you don’t care about people and just only want their votes? (Too many instances to list) Check.

 

I just want to know what traumatic experience this guy had with his dad (because that relationship is weird as fuck) that made him think “well I just HAVE to be POTUS.”  It’s like he believes he was born to be President and he’s going to keep trying no matter what.  Is that the only way to achieve daddy’s love?

I'm seeing a trend here.

6a00e5502e47b288330154339b275d970c-pi

I think his dad looks so bummed out in that gif because he realized he’s the only guy who Heidi hasn’t blown. 

He may be an asshole, but I'll give him a point and only a point for wearing a t-shirt underneath his dress shirt.

Here's what a shitty politician and loathed human being Ted is -- he goes into a cocoon when he gets on a plane.  I've been on flights with elected officials plenty of times.  By and large, they take at least some of that time to be visible, greet people, be "likeable," etc.  It's an easy time to get some moments with constituents and create goodwill.

Ted has no goodwill.  He just has people vote for him because he's as much of a dick as they'd like to be.  That's it.  Not a single human has ever said "I bumped into Ted Cruz on a flight -- we didn't agree on everything, but he was a good guy, and we had a good chat."  Nobody.  Not one person.  Because he's a fucking toad.

  • Popular Post

To seriously answer the question of whether there's something mentally wrong with Ted Cruz, there isn't.  He wasn't dropped on his head as an infant.  His dad didn't neglect him as a child.  He wasn't squat-humped by the guy who drove the Good Humor ice cream van.

He's just an asshole.  Plain and simple.  He knows what he's doing.  And he's a fucking asshole. 

  • Popular Post
15 minutes ago, South Austin said:

To seriously answer the question of whether there's something mentally wrong with Ted Cruz, there isn't.  He wasn't dropped on his head as an infant.  His dad didn't neglect him as a child.  He wasn't squat-humped by the guy who drove the Good Humor ice cream van.

He's just an asshole.  Plain and simple.  He knows what he's doing.  And he's a fucking asshole. 

This analysis is known as "Occam's Buttplug" -- when someone acts like a raging asshole, the simplest explanation is that they are indeed a raging asshole.

Just now, Brisketexan said:

This analysis is known as "Occam's Buttplug"

I'm stealing that.

This ‘BJ and the Bear’ reboot looks even shittier than the original.

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

This analysis is known as "Occam's Buttplug" -- when someone acts like a raging asshole, the simplest explanation is that they are indeed a raging asshole.

I saw they're playing at SXSW on Wednesday.  

5 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:


Your dick cam?

Well he certainly is photographing a dick.

3 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

He may be an asshole, but I'll give him a point and only a point for wearing a t-shirt underneath his dress shirt.

Farther up the east coast that's not a fashion statement, it's a not-freezing-your-ass-off technique.  

7 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:


Your dick cam?

 

its taking pics of dick, so yeah, obviously

 

edit fuck me: steamboat got this

 

 

Edited by High Plains Drifter

15 hours ago, JerrysJheriCurl said:

Co-signed. You sir are correct.

Not sure why anyone would lie about something that is easily debunked, as planes have a lot of folk on them. 
As someone who has been on quite a few flights with him and sitting next to him from IAH-DCA… and back… I’ve never seen anyone come up to him, much less crew. 

Crew will come by and thank folk. But they are usually FFs that are 1k and PP. 
His modus operandi once on a plane is to get on his tablet and watch a show or be on his phone. 
And I ain’t just whistling Dixie… 

CB1D004A-7B13-44C7-8C5D-18AD2CAC2CCA.jpeg

did the captain or flight attendant walk up and hug him? He said that without exception that occurs on every flight.

5 hours ago, HenryJames said:

This ‘BJ and the Bear’ reboot looks even shittier than the original.

"Oh man, I love it up here! Feel powerful. Guys like you and me, we're the nation's backbone. The country shuts down if it weren't for us! Hey, whaddya say we go wild and get some diet cokes?!"

Seriously, if you ever find that Ted Cruz is the biggest supporter you should be looking real hard at what it is you're doing. 

Why does it look like he’s zipping up his pants?

His cab exits take longer than most of my shits.  
 

every single thing he does is just painful to watch. 
 

and yes, it did look like he was adjusting his zipper.  There’s gotta be another angle to that curb with all those people there with cameras.  I’m sure it was just his pants getting messed up in his 3 hour descent back to base camp. But you never wanna get out of. Random trucker’s cab with your hands on your fly.  

Edited by Lobo

On 3/10/2022 at 11:25 PM, JerrysJheriCurl said:

Co-signed. You sir are correct.

Not sure why anyone would lie about something that is easily debunked, as planes have a lot of folk on them. 
As someone who has been on quite a few flights with him and sitting next to him from IAH-DCA… and back… I’ve never seen anyone come up to him, much less crew. 

Crew will come by and thank folk. But they are usually FFs that are 1k and PP. 
His modus operandi once on a plane is to get on his tablet and watch a show or be on his phone. 
And I ain’t just whistling Dixie… 

CB1D004A-7B13-44C7-8C5D-18AD2CAC2CCA.jpeg

There’s a lot of fat in this picture 

And that stupid idiot is representing Texas in the US Senate. 

 

Cabover tractors are still a thing? I haven’t seen one in a long time.
23 hours ago, Pancho said:

I just want to know what traumatic experience this guy had with his dad (because that relationship is weird as fuck) that made him think “well I just HAVE to be POTUS.”  It’s like he believes he was born to be President and he’s going to keep trying no matter what.  Is that the only way to achieve daddy’s love?

Well, his dad did kill JFK and Raphael needs to be president to grant the pardon when the truth comes out. 

22 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

He may be an asshole, but I'll give him a point and only a point for wearing a t-shirt underneath his dress shirt.

What?  The only people I know who do this are Yankees. 

I was raised in the South, but I never saw my father or any male in the family wear a true dress shirt without a plain white t-shirt underneath. My spouse is a Yankee and he has raised our children this way as well. With the newer fashions and male grooming, perhaps that style is changing, but I give points based on my own standards and others may view it differently. I have a rather ZZ Top appreciation for my beloved in a well cut suit.

I was raised in the South, but I never saw my father or any male in the family wear a true dress shirt without a plain white t-shirt underneath. My spouse is a Yankee and he has raised our children this way as well. With the newer fashions and male grooming, perhaps that style is changing, but I give points based on my own standards and others may view it differently. I have a rather ZZ Top appreciation for my beloved in a well cut suit.
#teamundershirt here. Otherwise middle-aged men look like some chubby wannabee gigalo.

Duped by the cotton lobby. Put on an undershirt; it'll keep you cool in summer. It's winter now dress in layers. I've never been happier ditching the superfluous cotton undershirt.

8 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Duped by the cotton lobby. Put on an undershirt; it'll keep you cool in summer. It's winter now dress in layers. I've never been happier ditching the superfluous cotton undershirt.

This

27 minutes ago, tchookem said:

Otherwise middle-aged men look like some chubby wannabee gigalo

Give me a smile, babydoll

Edited by Bozo_Casanova

On 3/11/2022 at 8:59 AM, South Austin said:

image.gif.db151ca6febd1a876737bd199c6508ec.gif

Old man is clearly thinking he should’ve went deeper with the hanger. 

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.