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Official Bitch about your Family Thread 2024: Holiday Edition

Featured Replies

Wow.  Your MIL sounds like a good host.

Yeah, she sounds like my Mom. She means well.
29 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Spent a week with the in-laws and it wasn't as bad as usual.  FIL is fine, but MIL treats everyone like they're 5 and doesn't want to let anyone do anything for themselves, which drives me batshit.  She sets a table for breakfast every morning -- knife, spoon, fork, napkin -- even if everyone is just eating cereal and toast like they always do.  The last thing I want to do when I wake up is sit down at a table to eat with everyone so I always skip that, which bothers her.  

One morning, I was getting some leftover pizza out of the fridge and she comes into the kitchen hurriedly and asks, "Do you want me to heat the oven up for you?" and I kind of snapped at her ("No, I don't want you to heat the oven up for me!") because I was standing right next to the oven at the time, plus I eat cold pizza for breakfast regularly, which my wife told me she had already told her, plus who heats up leftover pizza in an oven anyway?

The day after Christmas we got up early to start the 12-hour drive back and she's bent out of shape because we're not eating breakfast at the table with knives and spoons and forks... Wife and I are in the kitchen talking and she comes in and says, "We have spoons if you want yogurt!"   I blurted out "YOU HAVE SPOONS???!"  which got a disapproving glare from the wife, but now gives me something to annoy my wife with every day since -- every time my wife says she's hungry, I say, "We have spoons if you want yogurt!" 

Nobody in my family eats breakfast anymore now that my parents’ generation has passed. I’m the only freak that wants/needs something, anything, to eat before lunch. I get a little testy about that sometimes. 

1 minute ago, nnm said:

I get a little testy about that sometimes. 

It’s all that early morning food messing with you. 

24 minutes ago, tigol said:


Yeah, she sounds like my Mom. She means well.

She definitely does.  I'm the asshole here, but she has huge control issues, and my whole childhood was spent fighting against my parents' control issues, so it's just a bad mix.

If everything isn’t done exactly how my MIL thinks it should be done then she instantly becomes a passive aggressive bitch and ruins the mood of any gathering. There’s also no pleasing her either. You can set the table wrong or sit in the wrong place or have the tv too loud. She’ll find something to ruin her day and then try to ruin everyone else’s. Luckily my wife has always noticed this and hates it more than anyone. 

  • 7 months later...

Welp, Portland crew are still living up to their reputation of not lifting a finger to help clean up after me cooking/serving: margaritas, smoked old fashioneds, mimosas, chicken tinga, pork butt, scallops, mushrooms & NY strips.....

 

Come on over motherfuckers!!  Shit's free here at the freyguy house!!!!

Too many.  Had held out hope that since their children are now in college, everyone would have somewhat matured.  But alas....

  • Popular Post

I have an uncle who has recently got into the habit of not closing the bathroom door all the way when he goes in there.  And if you don't close it all the way it slowly opens back up all the way because the house isn't level.  Taking a piss is one thing, but on the most recent visit he has upped his game to shitting with the door open.  And it is within the line of sight from the dining room where everyone can see.  

12 hours ago, freyguy said:

Welp, Portland crew are still living up to their reputation of not lifting a finger to help clean up after me cooking/serving: margaritas, smoked old fashioneds, mimosas, chicken tinga, pork butt, scallops, mushrooms & NY strips.....

 

Come on over motherfuckers!!  Shit's free here at the freyguy house!!!!

I will help clean up, but you find shit in weird places for 6 months.

2 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

I have an uncle who has recently got into the habit of not closing the bathroom door all the way when he goes in there.  And if you don't close it all the way it slowly opens back up all the way because the house isn't level.  Taking a piss is one thing, but on the most recent visit he has upped his game to shitting with the door open.  And it is within the line of sight from the dining room where everyone can see.  

YARN | We like to shit With the door open. We talk about pussy. | Step  Brothers (2008) | Video gifs by quotes | 352ad032 | 紗

15 hours ago, freyguy said:

Welp, Portland crew are still living up to their reputation of not lifting a finger to help clean up after me cooking/serving: margaritas, smoked old fashioneds, mimosas, chicken tinga, pork butt, scallops, mushrooms & NY strips.....

 

Come on over motherfuckers!!  Shit's free here at the freyguy house!!!!

I'd probably suck your dick if you served me a spread like that. 

Well not really but I'd do the dishes. Maybe give you a back rub.

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ztejas said:

I'd probably suck your dick if you served me a spread like that. 

Well not really but I'd do the dishes. Maybe give you a back rub.

Nervous Clint Eastwood GIF by GritTV

1 minute ago, Ghost of NMAS said:

The Holidays keep coming earlier and earlier in this fucking country

The Lowe's in Lindale had halloween candy out on Sunday.  I'm not sure if it was just trying to offload last year's, or 2025 stock.

WM in AMA has had it out for at least 2 weeks. It's the go-to after BTS. 

Edited by Iceman

1 hour ago, Ghost of NMAS said:

The Holidays keep coming earlier and earlier in this fucking country

My uncle's bathroom domination habits started on the 4th of July this year.  He also had his pants all the way down to his ankles just to piss.   

On 8/19/2025 at 9:24 AM, Bill Brasky said:

I have an uncle who has recently got into the habit of not closing the bathroom door all the way when he goes in there.  And if you don't close it all the way it slowly opens back up all the way because the house isn't level.  Taking a piss is one thing, but on the most recent visit he has upped his game to shitting with the door open.  And it is within the line of sight from the dining room where everyone can see.  

Get a Super Soaker and shoot at him till he’s done. He will never forget to close and lock the door again. 

22 hours ago, nnm said:

The Lowe's in Lindale had halloween candy out on Sunday.  I'm not sure if it was just trying to offload last year's, or 2025 stock.

My local Lowe's cleared out the patio section and put up the Halloween shit weeks ago.    Who the fuck is buying a 10 foot tall electric skeleton? 

6 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

My local Lowe's cleared out the patio section and put up the Halloween shit weeks ago.    Who the fuck is buying a 10 foot tall electric skeleton? 

A lot of people in my neighborhood 

23 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

My local Lowe's cleared out the patio section and put up the Halloween shit weeks ago.    Who the fuck is buying a 10 foot tall electric skeleton? 

What can it do?

On 8/20/2025 at 2:05 PM, Gil Bang said:

My local Lowe's cleared out the patio section and put up the Halloween shit weeks ago.    Who the fuck is buying a 10 foot tall electric skeleton? 

ONLY 10 feet??

On 8/19/2025 at 5:00 PM, Bill Brasky said:

He also had his pants all the way down to his ankles just to piss.   

He's Ben Shapiro?!

CNN) Home BEN SHAPIRO: "I PEE AT URINALS WITH BOTH MY PANTS AND UNDERWEAR  PULLED ALL THE WAY DOWN." - iFunny

 

16 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

He's Ben Shapiro?!

CNN) Home BEN SHAPIRO: "I PEE AT URINALS WITH BOTH MY PANTS AND UNDERWEAR  PULLED ALL THE WAY DOWN." - iFunny

 

10ltn38ysve31.png?auto=webp&s=0bd8f1ef71

 

Loo loo loo

Not in my house, but in extended family, a mom left phone on counter while exercising. Adult aged, extremely emotionally immature daughter accessed phone and read all texts and messages. Wanted to talk shit afterwards.  The mom had conversations not meant for the daughter in the texts, but of course the young un was pissed about some critical comments.
Also noted, following the weekend visit, many drawers were "ajar" and not seated fully in the dressers and cabinets. There are multiple journals kept that were moved/ rummaged through.
Mom is more crushed by the destruction of her trust by the daughter, than any "secrets" that got out.

1. I wouldn't have engaged in any subsequent conversations related to the phone; but then again, I'm the dude who won't even open his wife's purse, much less go looking through her phone.

2. I'm the guy who would gripe about someone putting pliers back in the wrong drawer-  things go where they go, and folks know I will notice.  I would accept said behavior as a statement that they don't want a relationship any more.  I would be pissed/ disappointed, but would never trust them again.

Edited by Iceman

6 hours ago, Iceman said:

I'm the guy who would gripe about someone putting pliers back in the wrong drawer-  things go where they go, and folks know I will notice.  I would accept said behavior as a statement that they don't want a relationship any more.  I would be pissed/ disappointed, but would never trust them again.

They known what they did!

9 hours ago, Iceman said:

Not in my house, but in extended family, a mom left phone on counter while exercising. Adult aged, extremely emotionally immature daughter accessed phone and read all texts and messages. Wanted to talk shit afterwards.  The mom had conversations not meant for the daughter in the texts, but of course the young un was pissed about some critical comments.
Also noted, following the weekend visit, many drawers were "ajar" and not seated fully in the dressers and cabinets. There are multiple journals kept that were moved/ rummaged through.
Mom is more crushed by the destruction of her trust by the daughter, than any "secrets" that got out.

1. I wouldn't have engaged in any subsequent conversations related to the phone; but then again, I'm the dude who won't even open his wife's purse, much less go looking through her phone.

2. I'm the guy who would gripe about someone putting pliers back in the wrong drawer-  things go where they go, and folks know I will notice.  I would accept said behavior as a statement that they don't want a relationship any more.  I would be pissed/ disappointed, but would never trust them again.

The repressed sexuality. It's ok to touch your own pee pee.

There's gotta be a good joke in there...but damn if I can find it.

7 hours ago, Iceman said:

There's gotta be a good joke in there...but damn if I can find it.

That's because someone didn't put it back where it belongs.

On 8/19/2025 at 9:27 AM, Kennythetiger said:

He’s challenging your dominance. 

Only one way to handle him 

image.thumb.png.0911d7b84a3ea79818d625d541559660.png

On 8/19/2025 at 10:26 AM, nnm said:

The Lowe's in Lindale had halloween candy out on Sunday.  I'm not sure if it was just trying to offload last year's, or 2025 stock.

Was in Costco a few weeks back and they were already selling the Nativity scene setup. 

  • 3 weeks later...
On 8/18/2025 at 9:46 PM, freyguy said:

Welp, Portland crew are still living up to their reputation of not lifting a finger to help clean up after me cooking/serving: margaritas, smoked old fashioneds, mimosas, chicken tinga, pork butt, scallops, mushrooms & NY strips.....

 

Come on over motherfuckers!!  Shit's free here at the freyguy house!!!!

Address?

16 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Address?

2 inches below deez nuts

Goddamn..... I'm currently road tripping through Colorado and flush with edibles, but the visual of BB's uncle straining on the shitter in direct sight of a Thanksgiving dinner party slayed me. 

On 8/19/2025 at 4:24 PM, Bill Brasky said:

I have an uncle who has recently got into the habit of not closing the bathroom door all the way when he goes in there.  And if you don't close it all the way it slowly opens back up all the way because the house isn't level.  Taking a piss is one thing, but on the most recent visit he has upped his game to shitting with the door open.  And it is within the line of sight from the dining room where everyone can see.  

My dad used to do this the lights off in an interior bathroom (no window) because he found it too bright and didn't want to install a dimmer.

Imagine walking into somebody shitting in near darkness.

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My dad used to do this the lights off in an interior bathroom (no window) because he found it too bright and didn't want to install a dimmer.

Imagine walking into somebody shitting in near darkness.

 

IMG_2599.jpeg

12 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My dad used to do this the lights off in an interior bathroom (no window) because he found it too bright and didn't want to install a dimmer.

Imagine walking into somebody shitting in near darkness.

Nobody here has to imagine that. 

3 minutes ago, Deej said:

Nobody here has to imagine that. 

 

Yet, I’m sure a few have already hit their bunks, or will be at first chance. 

35 minutes ago, WithoutAClue said:

as good a place as any to put this.

image.png.7b3aa0a6819a186c4d4699eca49f8221.png

mariah-carey-498-x-280-gif-epb7tlom4csia

So my oldest sister has always been a cunt, even when we were kids. Shitty sister, shitty daughter, etc. I'm 43 and I've spent the last 5 or so years deciding that it's not worth it to even think about her anymore and I avoid any contact with her at all costs. Doesn't help that after her first divorce she married some swamp trash from Baytown who's addicted to pain pills and has never had a real job. She's now a racist cunt in addition to her usual cuntness. 

Friday I rode with a buddy to Houston to see NIN and we drove back early Saturday morning so I could coach my kids soccer game. 

She texted me today all pissed off that I went to Houston and didn't call her (she lives in Conroe btw). This is the first I've heard from her since my birthday in April. 

 

Not really a cool story brah, but just venting. Was having a good day today and that waste of space decided to ruin it. 

Send her a screen shot of missed calls from her on your phone. That is, if I engaged at all, would be my most likely response; which in my case would be for 2 brothers for whom our calls ALWAYS originate from my phone.

Edited by Iceman

14 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

So my oldest sister has always been a cunt, even when we were kids. Shitty sister, shitty daughter, etc. I'm 43 and I've spent the last 5 or so years deciding that it's not worth it to even think about her anymore and I avoid any contact with her at all costs. Doesn't help that after her first divorce she married some swamp trash from Baytown who's addicted to pain pills and has never had a real job. She's now a racist cunt in addition to her usual cuntness. 

Friday I rode with a buddy to Houston to see NIN and we drove back early Saturday morning so I could coach my kids soccer game. 

She texted me today all pissed off that I went to Houston and didn't call her (she lives in Conroe btw). This is the first I've heard from her since my birthday in April. 

 

Not really a cool story brah, but just venting. Was having a good day today and that waste of space decided to ruin it. 

 

2 hours ago, Iceman said:

Send her a screen shot of missed calls from her on your phone. That is, if I engaged at all, would be my most likely response; which in my case would be for 2 brothers for whom our calls ALWAYS originate from my phone.

Pics of Sis? I'm still looking for something for my drive between Dallas and Houston

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