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The Leopards Eating Faces and Unlubed Dildo of Consequences Thread Part 2

Featured Replies

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Is there ANYTHING that makes the heart beat as excitedly as the found treasure of a gem in the "reduced for quick sale" section?  I doubt it.

 

61a6crcouewb1.jpg

That's just extra aging is what that is. Makes it more tender. 

2 hours ago, Incredulity said:

https://www.tacobell.com/stories/glen-bell

Meet The Man Behind The Bell®

Glen Bell is his name and tacos are his game.

 

stories-blog-2019-glen-01-jpeg?io=transform:scale,height:0,width:500

 

2 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

True American hero.

Winner of Charmin’s Lifetime achievement award.

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Allsup's burritos were not a thing when I was a kid and we headed west.  Those trips included long stretches of really open road.  Few gas stations, even.  Most meals were sandwiches mom made from a cooler, eaten at a roadside rest stop.  IF we were lucky, it was one of the ones with a roof, for shade.

RRR-rest-stops-feat.jpg

Tell an American kid today that no, we won't stop for a Happy Meal, you're gonna eat a baloney sandwich and some store brand potato chips off a paper towel at a 104 degree picnic table....and see how that goes.

 

What is this "roof" that you speak of?  I can't ever remember one of the ones we used having one.  Looking at you I-20 between Monahans and Fort Worth...

1 hour ago, SurlyGator said:

What is this "roof" that you speak of?  I can't ever remember one of the ones we used having one.  Looking at you I-20 between Monahans and Fort Worth...

Most did not.  They were bare, concrete picnic tables, baking in the brutal west/south Texas sun.  But a handful of them had the luxurious touch of shade.  And my road-warrior father knew where they were.  "I'm hungry."  "We're not stopping for another 30 minutes, when we get to the rest stop with the nice setup."  BTW, bathrooms were not on the agenda.  You went and pissed behind a bush.  If mom really had to piss, our job was to scope out 1) some bushes that provided some privacy, and 2) check REALLY WELL for rattlesnakes, so she'd have a safe place to go.

L-I-V-I-N.

If I was lucky, we were heading to visit my grandparents when they lived in Sonora, then Midland.  I'd get me some sorta sugary cereal at the grocery as my treat for the week.  Breakfast at the table at either their mobile home (Sonora) or dinky apartment (Midland) - sugary cereal and OJ out of a glass made in 1940.

All this talk makes me think there should be a show called Poor Wars, where the poorest meet, and try to survive on the miniscule amount of anything. 

  • Popular Post
All this talk makes me think there should be a show called Poor Wars, where the poorest meet, and try to survive on the miniscule amount of anything. 

There is. It’s called “much of the rest of the planet.” We don’t air that show here.
5 hours ago, Evil Bill Obrien said:

I try not to, living in Houston it's probably extending my life expectancy dramatically every day I don't...unless I get hit by a car walking or riding my bike...which will probably happen eventually...

 

Jack in the Box fucking sucks ass

Monster tacos after a night of drinking is good AF. Fight me

27 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


There is. It’s called “much of the rest of the planet.” We don’t air that show here.

Then defeats the point of my post. You should have said Mondo media or something. 

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Most did not.  They were bare, concrete picnic tables, baking in the brutal west/south Texas sun.  But a handful of them had the luxurious touch of shade.  And my road-warrior father knew where they were.  "I'm hungry."  "We're not stopping for another 30 minutes, when we get to the rest stop with the nice setup."  BTW, bathrooms were not on the agenda.  You went and pissed behind a bush.  If mom really had to piss, our job was to scope out 1) some bushes that provided some privacy, and 2) check REALLY WELL for rattlesnakes, so she'd have a safe place to go.

L-I-V-I-N.

If I was lucky, we were heading to visit my grandparents when they lived in Sonora, then Midland.  I'd get me some sorta sugary cereal at the grocery as my treat for the week.  Breakfast at the table at either their mobile home (Sonora) or dinky apartment (Midland) - sugary cereal and OJ out of a glass made in 1940.

West Texas had some where there were stairs over the fence.  That led to the ‘bathroom’.  Watch out for rattlers.  

I see a real shortage of childhood memories about getting to ride on top of the tool box in the back of the truck. Good times. I'm surprised Daddy didn't give me a cigarette to smoke while I was back there.

3 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

I see a real shortage of childhood memories about getting to ride on top of the tool box in the back of the truck. Good times. I'm surprised Daddy didn't give me a cigarette to smoke while I was back there.

Grand dad (dad's step father) used to let me have a Pearl when we cruised around the trailer park near Lover's Lane in Dallas. For some reason about 2PM he always had to go fix something.

Grandmother (mom's side) would have me carry an extra pack of Lark cigarettes when we went into Boston for the day in case she ran out.

No wonder my dad thought the jungles of Vietnam were a good option and mom said fuck this, kids are growing up in Central America.

 

2 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Grand dad (dad's step father) used to let me have a Pearl when we cruised around the trailer park near Lover's Lane in Dallas. For some reason about 2PM he always had to go fix something.

Grandmother (mom's side) would have me carry an extra pack of Lark cigarettes when we went into Boston for the day in case she ran out.

No wonder my dad thought the jungles of Vietnam were a good option and mom said fuck this, kids are growing up in Central America.

 

Where is there a trailer park near Lovers Lane?

7 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

I see a real shortage of childhood memories about getting to ride on top of the tool box in the back of the truck. Good times. I'm surprised Daddy didn't give me a cigarette to smoke while I was back there.

That was second only to riding around in the back window of grandma's Ford LTD.

15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Is there ANYTHING that makes the heart beat as excitedly as the found treasure of a gem in the "reduced for quick sale" section?  I doubt it.

 

61a6crcouewb1.jpg

Sela Ward is going to be crushed when she hears about this.

@Dnaguy's mustard tuna should be submitted to binging with babish for the next time he does a mukbang of viewers' terrible "recipes"

should be swigged back with gatorwine

Edited by elfenix
for sydney

I found this in my freezer, but I do not remember buying it. 

So either I picked it up at a gas station in a drunken fugue, or there's a burrito fairy.

 

IMG_20241121_090533191_HDR.jpg

15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Most did not.  They were bare, concrete picnic tables, baking in the brutal west/south Texas sun.  But a handful of them had the luxurious touch of shade.  And my road-warrior father knew where they were.  "I'm hungry."  "We're not stopping for another 30 minutes, when we get to the rest stop with the nice setup."  BTW, bathrooms were not on the agenda.  You went and pissed behind a bush.  If mom really had to piss, our job was to scope out 1) some bushes that provided some privacy, and 2) check REALLY WELL for rattlesnakes, so she'd have a safe place to go.

L-I-V-I-N.

If I was lucky, we were heading to visit my grandparents when they lived in Sonora, then Midland.  I'd get me some sorta sugary cereal at the grocery as my treat for the week.  Breakfast at the table at either their mobile home (Sonora) or dinky apartment (Midland) - sugary cereal and OJ out of a glass made in 1940.

My folks always rolled with a summer sausage, sleeve of saltines, and a block of cheese. If we were lucky, a styrofoam cooler was packed with ice cold cokes. That’s still a hell of a meal given almost any occasion if you ask me.

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

I found this in my freezer, but I do not remember buying it. 

So either I picked it up at a gas station in a drunken fugue, or there's a burrito fairy.

 

IMG_20241121_090533191_HDR.jpg

smother it in Rico's cheese

6 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

Where is there a trailer park near Lovers Lane?

Man, all I can tell you is the planes came in low to love field. Not that far from the first Goff Burger I went to. That was some good eating for Grandma. It was pretty big one.

7 hours ago, G650 said:

That was second only to riding around in the back window of grandma's Ford LTD.

 

Standing up in the front seat between mom and dad.

Like a boss. 

 

3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

smother it in Rico's cheese

No lie....take that burrito, and crisp it in a pan.  Then, top with store brand canned enchilada sauce of your choice, and shredded cheddar cheese.  Like so:

 

17-burritos-w_cheese-WEB-640x403.jpg

A glorious cheap-ass meal.

 

3 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

My folks always rolled with a summer sausage, sleeve of saltines, and a block of cheese. If we were lucky, a styrofoam cooler was packed with ice cold cokes. That’s still a hell of a meal given almost any occasion if you ask me.

Again....L-I-V-I-N.  I will never turn down a lunch like that.  I'd eat that with the gotdamn queen in attendance.

3 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Man, all I can tell you is the planes came in low to love field. Not that far from the first Goff Burger I went to. That was some good eating for Grandma. It was pretty big one.

Well, the original Goff's was on Lovers, just west of the toll road.  And Lovers keeps going to Lemmon, bordering Love Field.  Further you get toward Lemmon things get somewhat sketchy.  Maybe it was where all the Sewell dealerships are now.

1 minute ago, TwiceHorn said:

Well, the original Goff's was on Lovers, just west of the toll road.  And Lovers keeps going to Lemmon, bordering Love Field.  Further you get toward Lemmon things get somewhat sketchy.  Maybe it was where all the Sewell dealerships are now.

Yeah, no clue man, just that it was in that part of town, Grandma loved the Rangers, and Granddad had plenty of beer.

  • Popular Post
4 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

burrito fairy

That was my nickname in college

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

No lie....take that burrito, and crisp it in a pan.  Then, top with store brand canned enchilada sauce of your choice, and shredded cheddar cheese.  Like so:

 

17-burritos-w_cheese-WEB-640x403.jpg

A glorious cheap-ass meal.

Just so happens I have a can of Old El Paso ranchero sauce and shredded cheese.

See y'all in the shart thread around 3am.

Edited by MissingInAction
Shart to live, live to shart

22 hours ago, Horn Dog said:

IMG_8535.thumb.jpeg.5995bd83624ca78ca167f350173987c2.jpegYou can take the kid out the poor house, but its hard to get him to stop shopping like it.  

 

double couponing

During tight times and a dozen eggs were only a dollar a 12 pack of ramen and a dozen eggs would get me through a week easily. I'd fortify the soup with a tablespoon of maza.

7 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I found this in my freezer, but I do not remember buying it. 

So either I picked it up at a gas station in a drunken fugue, or there's a burrito fairy.

 

IMG_20241121_090533191_HDR.jpg

 

6 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

smother it in Rico's cheese

 A Tiajuana sunrise?

7 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

My folks always rolled with a summer sausage, sleeve of saltines, and a block of cheese. If we were lucky, a styrofoam cooler was packed with ice cold cokes. That’s still a hell of a meal given almost any occasion if you ask me.

As I have aged my taste has evolved to buttery crackers instead of saltines (Ritz, Club, etc.) but your meal sounds damn fine. 

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

As I have aged my taste has evolved to buttery crackers instead of saltines (Ritz, Club, etc.) but your meal sounds damn fine. 

I miss stopping in St Bernard on the way back to Sugar Land / Houston at the meat market to pick up their jalapeño cheese summer sausage and then demolishing it over the next 3 days. I could never make it past that 3 day mark even when trying to show restraint.

Anyone got a good meat market / butcher in San Antonio where I can get some kick ass summer sausage?

20 hours ago, Dnaguy said:

I miss stopping in St Bernard on the way back to Sugar Land / Houston at the meat market to pick up their jalapeño cheese summer sausage and then demolishing it over the next 3 days. I could never make it past that 3 day mark even when trying to show restraint.

Anyone got a good meat market / butcher in San Antonio where I can get some kick ass summer sausage?

I presume you're talking about Vincek's in East Bernard.  Glorious place. Good bbq, too.  Big fan of their house-smoked hocks, makes for a magnificent pot of pintos.

I've still got a bunch of venison summer sausage from my last deer.  It's the way to go.

On 11/20/2024 at 9:50 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I see a real shortage of childhood memories about getting to ride on top of the tool box in the back of the truck. Good times. I'm surprised Daddy didn't give me a cigarette to smoke while I was back there.

Circa 1987, a middle-school friend invited me to a cousin's house around the holidays.

That cousin lived about 200 miles away.

The cab was full, so we were put in the back of the pickup, in December.

Three hours of shivering under a moth-eaten blanket later, we arrived safe and sound.

Good times.

On 11/20/2024 at 4:33 PM, Brisketexan said:

Is there ANYTHING that makes the heart beat as excitedly as the found treasure of a gem in the "reduced for quick sale" section?  I doubt it.

 

61a6crcouewb1.jpg

$12 off?  Niiiiiceee!!!

4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I presume you're talking about Vincek's in East Bernard.  Glorious place. Good bbq, too.  Big fan of their house-smoked hocks, makes for a magnificent pot of pintos.

I've still got a bunch of venison summer sausage from my last deer.  It's the way to go.

Yes. I’m an idiot. East Bernard.

Great place indeed.

On 11/21/2024 at 7:55 AM, LW Goatman said:

My folks always rolled with a summer sausage, sleeve of saltines, and a block of cheese. If we were lucky, a styrofoam cooler was packed with ice cold cokes. That’s still a hell of a meal given almost any occasion if you ask me.

Hits close to home because while at Costco this week, I bought a box of cracked wheat crackers, a wheel of Brie, and a package of prosciutto for snacking. Same same right?  

Edited by Pato del Muerto

Alison Brie >the oysters and brie at Clancy's>>>> French Brie. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Alison Brie >>>>> French Brie. 

Well I can’t eat Alison Brie. At least not for $10. 

Well I can’t eat Alison Brie. At least not for $10. 

Well have you tried?
10 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Well I can’t eat Alison Brie. At least not for $10. 

Not with that attitude you won’t. 

On 11/20/2024 at 9:04 PM, Brisketexan said:


There is. It’s called “much of the rest of the planet.” We don’t air that show here.

That reminds me of a story a friend from Niger told me when he first came to America. Someone took him to a buffet and he didn’t know what it was. He said to his friend “You mean I can pay 11 dollars and eat as much as I want to eat?!?! He ate for two hours. He weighs about 140 soaking wet. He couldn’t believe such a thing existed.

19 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Woooweee! Hope you bought air freshener as well.

Wowee!

 

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