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Featured Replies

oh ye of little faith!

Sitting in the kitchen...where we spend most of our time, at our comfortable island with nice barstools and a TV. Laptops out, etc.   GF says she's going to shower and then she'll see me in bed.  Within a few moments, it's a fucking 5 alarm fire in my colon.  This is a 4 bedroom bathroom main house, with one more in the guest house, and I destroy my undies before I can make it to the nearest.  Straight to the garbage, and I'm such a mess that it's right into that shower for a hosing off of my disgusting self. 

Edited by Gil Bang

7 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Shitting in the kitchen...where we spend most of our time, at our comfortable island with nice barstools and a TV. Laptops out, etc.   GF says she's going to shower and then she'll see me in bed.  Within a few moments, it's a fucking 5 alarm fire in my colon.  This is a 4 bedroom main house, with one more in the guest house, and I destroy my undies before I can make it to the nearest.  Straight to the garbage, and I'm such a mess that it's right into that shower for a hosing off of my disgusting self. 

Guest house humblebrag...  Good for you

  • Author

Doomlet is on the board for the second time this year. 

Came busting through the front door like a bat out of hell and told us he thinks he shit his pants because he had a bad fart that didn't feel quite right. Went straight to the bathroom (still wearing his bike helmet) where we heard him quietly mutter "oh, shit" to himself.

What just came out of me deserved it's own name, like a hurricane.  Lightning, thunder, high winds, lava flows, and fire all ensued.  Then a deathlike smell took over the room.  That shit had its own cancer.

 

 

  • 3 weeks later...

Matched Brett’s maxim (good for that twice/year) with a 14 (!)-visit day. Bubbleguts as well.

Any of y’all lactose intolerant? I can’t peg it to anything necessarily.

1 minute ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Matched Brett’s maxim (good for that twice/year) with a 14 (!)-visit day. Bubbleguts as well.

Any of y’all lactose intolerant? I can’t peg it to anything necessarily.

The pegging could be a place to start?

  • Author
11 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Matched Brett’s maxim (good for that twice/year) with a 14 (!)-visit day. Bubbleguts as well.

Any of y’all lactose intolerant? I can’t peg it to anything necessarily.

You eat at Chipotle recently? 

40 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

You eat at Chipotle recently? 

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On 8/27/2025 at 11:32 PM, Gil Bang said:

Sitting in the kitchen...where we spend most of our time, at our comfortable island with nice barstools and a TV. Laptops out, etc.   GF says she's going to shower and then she'll see me in bed.  Within a few moments, it's a fucking 5 alarm fire in my colon.  This is a 4 bedroom bathroom main house, with one more in the guest house, and I destroy my undies before I can make it to the nearest.  Straight to the garbage, and I'm such a mess that it's right into that shower for a hosing off of my disgusting self. 

Did ypu jump in the shower with your gf while covered in shit?

Blazing Saddles GIF by WTEDRadio

On 8/27/2025 at 11:32 PM, Gil Bang said:

Sitting in the kitchen...where we spend most of our time, at our comfortable island with nice barstools and a TV. Laptops out, etc.   GF says she's going to shower and then she'll see me in bed.  Within a few moments, it's a fucking 5 alarm fire in my colon.  This is a 4 bedroom bathroom main house, with one more in the guest house, and I destroy my undies before I can make it to the nearest.  Straight to the garbage, and I'm such a mess that it's right into that shower for a hosing off of my disgusting self. 


Nice humble grumble brag there about the house. ISWYDT… I see what you defecated  there.

Recovering from a colonoscopy this morning.  I did not like the past 24 hours.  I do not recommend them. 

I did not know the body could expel that much liquid from the wrong end...at such frequency.

On 10/9/2025 at 11:11 AM, freyguy said:

Recovering from a colonoscopy this morning.  I did not like the past 24 hours.  I do not recommend them. 

I did not know the body could expel that much liquid from the wrong end...at such frequency.

Obviously you have never had bad food poisoning from eating Peruvian street food that looked suspicious but was really tasty and you had to finish all of it even though you knew better. 

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

Obviously you have never had bad food poisoning from eating Peruvian street food that looked suspicious but was really tasty and you had to finish all of it even though you knew better. 

Street taco in León, Mexico in 1992. I knew 2 bites in that I was in trouble. 

  • 3 weeks later...

Well, I almost made it.

Went to take a piss, standing there, and I need to fart.

Should I trust this fart? Sure, I tell myself.

Everything is going well, nice sound, then here comes the end and I feel something warm between my cheeks.

Fuck, now I have to drop trow and wipe my ass.

Never trust a fart.

On 11/1/2025 at 4:13 PM, demos said:

Well, I almost made it.

Went to take a piss, standing there, and I need to fart.

Should I trust this fart? Sure, I tell myself.

Everything is going well, nice sound, then here comes the end and I feel something warm between my cheeks.

Fuck, now I have to drop trow and wipe my ass.

Never trust a fart.

Worst haiku ever

  • 2 weeks later...

Oh my lord.  Made chicken sauce piquant last night.  Then, had a holiday lunch today with barbecue, deviled eggs, and various sides.  And just now in my office.....I almost had to get up and leave, no smell like that should emanate from a living human.

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Oh my lord.  Made chicken sauce piquant last night.  Then, had a holiday lunch today with barbecue, deviled eggs, and various sides.  And just now in my office.....I almost had to get up and leave, no smell like that should emanate from a living human.

tis the season...

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I'm just here to provide inspiration and clapping like the people at the end of a long race. 2025.
Man another one almost down. With only days left to make it onto this post, I'd say to the silent majority out there:
Do it!

Eat the Taco Bell
Judge that bean contest after a 6 pack of Lone Star red
Try the curry
Just because you were lactose intolerant yesterday doesn't mean it hasn't changed overnight. Try some ice cream.

See you on the other side and God bless



Life-Coaching-3.jpg.6addf3ac90b8745a837d5b781f4578ff.jpg

Another year without a shart.

But I turn 50 in a few days.  And my favorite foods are Thai and Indian.

2026 is gonna be my year.  I know it.

5 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Another year without a shart.

But I turn 50 in a few days.  And my favorite foods are Thai and Indian.

2026 is gonna be my year.  I know it.

 

My old coworker used to call saag paneer baby shit. Because it looks like baby shit, and it would be indistinguishable coming out of your butt as well.

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

 

My old coworker used to call saag paneer baby shit. Because it looks like baby shit, and it would be indistinguishable coming out of your butt as well.


Fake news. Baby shit does not have cubes of paneer (that I've ever seen) so use your fork and if you see paneer you can totally eat this meal in confidence. A good deal of Indian food does
indeed come out of your ass looking about the same as when it went in so your friend does pick up some points. What are the odds here, though? I literally brought one of these and also a madras lentils pouch for lunch today. 

 

shopping.webp.182220f71e470c96362955a1e81d38fd.webp

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