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Featured Replies

big huge dudes or monsters or whatever can get stabbed, shot, or get the shit beat out of them, and they still keep fighting and running and jumping around, but i have a paper cut on the tip of my middle finger that's been ruining my life for the last 3 days.  i can't even put a bandaid on it.  what's the point of it all.

Guns are kind of worthless because they never hit their target.

How come people say how come instead of why?

19 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

It's because they use blanks in the movies.  Except that one time with bruce lee.

and that other time with brandon lee

20 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

It's because they use blanks in the movies.  Except that one time with bruce lee.

Brandon...

33 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Brandon...

Yeah.

I generally just use a popcorn tub with extra butter.

Wait, what was the thread topic?

  • Author

and in mission impossible and bond movies, the guys are getting into fights and jumping off trains while wearing nice, tailored suits.  when i wear my nice, tailored suit, i can't even lift my arms above my head and can barely get out of a car.

2 hours ago, 'stache said:

How come people say how come instead of why?

why for come do you care?

3 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

big huge dudes or monsters or whatever can get stabbed, shot, or get the shit beat out of them, and they still keep fighting and running and jumping around, but i have a paper cut on the tip of my middle finger that's been ruining my life for the last 3 days.  i can't even put a bandaid on it.  what's the point of it all.

This is why God invented super glue.  And not that shit for skin.  Good old fashioned super glue.  And if it hurts- good.  That means it's working 

1 hour ago, henrygandorf said:

and in mission impossible and bond movies, the guys are getting into fights and jumping off trains while wearing nice, tailored suits.  when i wear my nice, tailored suit, i can't even lift my arms above my head and can barely get out of a car.

Chuck Norris action pant suits.

Because this man isn't your tailor

GW268H341

5 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

and in mission impossible and bond movies, the guys are getting into fights and jumping off trains while wearing nice, tailored suits.  when i wear my nice, tailored suit, i can't even lift my arms above my head and can barely get out of a car.

https://thestretchsuit.com/ ?

In a foot chase, the guy following will stop, take a little bounce step and watch the guy run away, then start chasing him again. 

Getting injured aside I always love how raging gun battles take place and the characters just continue to talk to each other through it and after it....because apparently hundreds of rounds getting discharged in rapid succession have no effect on hearing.

I'm more bothered by the 110 lb woman cop/agent that kung-fu kicks giant motherfuckers into unconsciousness.

Arya on Game of Thrones got the shit beat out of her - repeatedly, right in the face - with a big stick and never even lost a tooth. Knocked backwards on stone floors countless times and never got as much as a concussion. Tough little gal. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

I'm more bothered by the 110 lb woman cop/agent that kung-fu kicks giant motherfuckers into unconsciousness.


I’m usually too busy fapping to care.

He never fixes the cable?

On 8/17/2018 at 12:45 PM, 'stache said:

How come people say how come instead of why?

Wherefore do people no longer say wherefore?

1 hour ago, TexArcher said:

Wherefore do people no longer say wherefore?

Doth thou protesteth ?

I never understood why they call it the money shot. 

That’s how your mom gets paid.
7 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Doth thou protesteth ?

Methinks thou doth protest too much.

You may not have noticed but she's in a

Arya on Game of Thrones got the shit beat out of her - repeatedly, right in the face - with a big stick and never even lost a tooth. Knocked backwards on stone floors countless times and never got as much as a concussion. Tough little gal. 
Primary perk of working for the many faced god - you can just grab a set of nice teeth
On 8/17/2018 at 2:42 PM, henrygandorf said:

and in mission impossible and bond movies, the guys are getting into fights and jumping off trains while wearing nice, tailored suits.  when i wear my nice, tailored suit, i can't even lift my arms above my head and can barely get out of a car.

Because they buy their suits at Kingsman Tailors

On 8/18/2018 at 2:34 AM, RPM said:

In a foot chase, the guy following will stop, take a little bounce step and watch the guy run away, then start chasing him again. 

And why is it always the guy doing the chasing that gets hit by a car while wantonly running across the street rather than the guy who's running away?

On 8/17/2018 at 2:42 PM, henrygandorf said:

and in mission impossible and bond movies, the guys are getting into fights and jumping off trains while wearing nice, tailored suits.  when i wear my nice, tailored suit, i can't even lift my arms above my head and can barely get out of a car.

You need to ask your tailor for the "spy cut".

I was lazy and couldn't find anything worth channel switching for and wound up watching a little NCIS before being forced to change because the writing is soooooo bad. One of the characters tonight is blind and the detective is shocked to learn not only are blind people not completely helpless, they use their other senses more acutely. WTF is this, Dr Kildare in 1930something? Maybe I should have put this in the Things that make you Surly thread.

Why is it that when a foot chase is going on thru the streets it's always the chaser and not the chasee who gets hit and rolled up on the hood or windshield if some driver's car?

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

You asked that exact same question three posts up.

someone was hitting the bottle pretty hard last night.

On 8/22/2018 at 10:22 PM, Longhornstampede said:

Why is it that when a foot chase is going on thru the streets it's always the chaser and not the chasee who gets hit and rolled up on the hood or windshield if some driver's car?

Yeah, weird double post, but not always true. My wife and I watch a bunch of Masterpiece Theater stuff and when Sir Reginald is chasing Lady Cecilia through the London fog you know one of them is about to get run over by a carriage but you are never sure which. We've got it down to a science now -- we see a scene like that and one of us hollers "carriage" and sure enough somebody is about to get ran the fuck over, as that dude in Luda's posse would say. 

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