May 8May 8 5 hours ago, Hank_Hill said: If you’re within range to effectively throw a handful of dirt in a gorillas eyes you’re already fucked. Sacrifice appreciated. I've always been more in the shoulder-check and throw a coke on him camp.
May 8May 8 20 hours ago, closetojumping said: Correct. Sharp exposed bone, group attacks aiming for the eyes and leg muscles, the silverback goes down eventually. If it were 100 posters from this board, I assume the dumbest gasbags go first. When the gorilla shreds spider2ybanana limb from limb and you all shriek in horror, I'm sprinting for that dude's exposed femur and then whittling that thing to a fine point while we send wave after wave of BO&W, Steamboat, futureman, and numerous other dipshits in as tiring fodder. Then we riot. I'd ride in on @SydneyCarton's shoulders in sort of a Master Blaster Thunderdome approach.
May 8May 8 Is there some history of gorillas taking down humans? I guess I can believe that it's happened on occasion, but I wouldn't put "gorillas" on a list of animal threats to humanity. Now, for gorillas, I feel fairly certain that, on their list of animal threads to gorillas, "humans" is probably pretty fucking high on the list. That said, I thought Congo was a fun book and a terrible movie. Some rock club-wielding, psycho silverbacks clapping human heads deep in the jungle is a moderately terrifying thought.
May 8May 8 1 hour ago, closetojumping said: Is there some history of gorillas taking down humans? I guess I can believe that it's happened on occasion, but I wouldn't put "gorillas" on a list of animal threats to humanity. Now, for gorillas, I feel fairly certain that, on their list of animal threads to gorillas, "humans" is probably pretty fucking high on the list. That said, I thought Congo was a fun book and a terrible movie. Some rock club-wielding, psycho silverbacks clapping human heads deep in the jungle is a moderately terrifying thought. There's a viral TikTok of a battle simulation of 10k gorillas laying waste to a million unarmed men. The men were able to take out about 600 gorillas. Edited May 8May 8 by AnotherLawyer Clarified that the men don't have weapons.
May 8May 8 2 hours ago, closetojumping said: Is there some history of gorillas taking down humans? I guess I can believe that it's happened on occasion, but I wouldn't put "gorillas" on a list of animal threats to humanity. Now, for gorillas, I feel fairly certain that, on their list of animal threads to gorillas, "humans" is probably pretty fucking high on the list. That said, I thought Congo was a fun book and a terrible movie. Some rock club-wielding, psycho silverbacks clapping human heads deep in the jungle is a moderately terrifying thought. My 3 year old daughter currently ranks Gorillas as the #1 threat. I clear the room for them every night
May 8May 8 1 hour ago, Js1 said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack.
May 8May 8 8 minutes ago, Codaxx said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack. *Gorillas
May 8May 8 14 minutes ago, Codaxx said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack. 5 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said: *Gorillas You almost have to believe that someone has been murdered for grammatical pedantry syndrome, though, right?
May 8May 8 3 hours ago, closetojumping said: Is there some history of gorillas taking down humans? I guess I can believe that it's happened on occasion, but I wouldn't put "gorillas" on a list of animal threats to humanity. Now, for gorillas, I feel fairly certain that, on their list of animal threads to gorillas, "humans" is probably pretty fucking high on the list. That said, I thought Congo was a fun book and a terrible movie. Some rock club-wielding, psycho silverbacks clapping human heads deep in the jungle is a moderately terrifying thought. 15 minutes ago, Codaxx said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack. Quote In fact, after an intensive search, Futurism was unable to find a single reported case of a gorilla killing a human at all. Only two instances of gorilla attacks on humans — both of which involved animals born and raised in captivity — have made waves in the digital age. The first occurred way back in 2007, when a male western gorilla named Bokito escaped his enclosure at a Dutch zoo, abducting a woman and injuring her in the process. The other was in 2020, when a zookeeper in Madrid was mauled by a 29-year-old male gorilla when she entered the animal's enclosure, ending up with a head injury and both of her arms broken. As terrible as both of those instances were, it's striking that neither gorilla actually killed their victims — and that both animals were captive-bred. Source: https://futurism.com/humans-killed-by-gorillas
May 8May 8 15 minutes ago, closetojumping said: You almost have to believe that someone has been murdered for grammatical pedantry syndrome, though, right? An honorable death, to be sure.
May 8May 8 Popular Post 36 minutes ago, Codaxx said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack.
May 8May 8 aggy kickoff time and date announced. Friday Night 6:30PM https://texaslonghorns.com/news/2025/5/8/footballs-2025-cotton-holdings-lone-star-showdown-set-for-friday-after-thanksgiving.aspx
May 8May 8 5 minutes ago, immamac said: aggy kickoff time and date announced. Friday Night 6:30PM https://texaslonghorns.com/news/2025/5/8/footballs-2025-cotton-holdings-lone-star-showdown-set-for-friday-after-thanksgiving.aspx It should be on Thanksgiving and ratings consequences be damned.
May 8May 8 2 hours ago, AnotherLawyer said: There's a viral TikTok of a battle simulation of 10k gorillas laying waste to a million unarmed men. The men were able to take out about 600 gorillas. link?
May 8May 8 4 hours ago, closetojumping said: Is there some history of gorillas taking down humans? I guess I can believe that it's happened on occasion, but I wouldn't put "gorillas" on a list of animal threats to humanity. Now, for gorillas, I feel fairly certain that, on their list of animal threads to gorillas, "humans" is probably pretty fucking high on the list. That said, I thought Congo was a fun book and a terrible movie. Some rock club-wielding, psycho silverbacks clapping human heads deep in the jungle is a moderately terrifying thought. Loved the book. The perimiter alarms going off around their jungle encampment was pretty suspenseful IIRC. Also, a properly “coached up” silverback is all you would need on defense.
May 8May 8 20 minutes ago, Park Gothic said: It should be on Thanksgiving and ratings consequences be damned. Fuck that. I've always liked the move from Thanksgiving to Friday or Saturday. I don't have the endurance anymore to follow making and eating a huge Thanksgiving meal, that usually includes a lot of wine, with going to stadium, tailgating for a few hours, and cheering my ass of at DKR for another 3-4 hours.
May 8May 8 4 minutes ago, South Austin said: Fuck that. I've always liked the move from Thanksgiving to Friday or Saturday. I don't have the endurance anymore to follow making and eating a huge Thanksgiving meal, that usually includes a lot of wine, with going to stadium, tailgating for a few hours, and cheering my ass of at DKR for another 3-4 hours. 2 minutes ago, Js1 said: NFL owns Thanksgiving now, sorry.
May 8May 8 31 minutes ago, Js1 said: NFL owns Thanksgiving now, sorry. And Christmas Day thank goodness. The NBA sucks ass.
May 8May 8 2 hours ago, Codaxx said: Its even stupid for social media. Gorilla's are generally shy and peaceful animals. I dont think there has ever been a fatal gorilla attack. Harambe died for their sins 🙏
May 8May 8 1 hour ago, immamac said: aggy kickoff time and date announced. Friday Night 6:30PM https://texaslonghorns.com/news/2025/5/8/footballs-2025-cotton-holdings-lone-star-showdown-set-for-friday-after-thanksgiving.aspx Do children under 2 need a ticket for games?
May 9May 9 2 hours ago, BurntOrange&White said: Do children under 2 need a ticket for games? Feet or years?
May 9May 9 3 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said: And Christmas Day thank goodness. The NBA sucks ass. So does the NFL
May 9May 9 19 hours ago, Park Gothic said: It should be on Thanksgiving and ratings consequences be damned. No, it's awful on Thanksgiving. None of the students can attend. They all go home for the holiday and it completely ruins the atmosphere.
May 9May 9 1 hour ago, Bolero88 said: No, it's awful on Thanksgiving. None of the students can attend. They all go home for the holiday and it completely ruins the atmosphere. I would think a lot of that is dependent on the product on the field. If Texas is 11-0 or 10-1 heading into that game, a lot of students will postpone Thanksgiving. Edited May 9May 9 by AnotherLawyer
May 9May 9 Back in the day, we made the parentals do Thanksgiving super early (like noon) so we can could hit the road from Houston to get to the game.
May 9May 9 5 hours ago, AnotherLawyer said: I would think a lot of that is dependent on the product on the field. If Texas is 11-0 or 10-1 heading into that game, a lot of students will postpone Thanksgiving. Television, which will be ABC/ESPN will dictate the day of the game. With the NFL on Thanksgiving, I highly doubt that it is played then anytime soon again. Would be on team Gorilla if the men were unarmed, they are way stronger and mean if provoked. Edited May 9May 9 by NBHorn7
May 10May 10 16 hours ago, Js1 said: Back in the day, we made the parentals do Thanksgiving super early (like noon) so we can could hit the road from Houston to get to the game. I made my parents come to Austin and go to the game. Granted they had already been taking me to the games growing up so it was nothing new.
May 10May 10 Popular Post SIAP... Quote FootballScoop's Pre-Preseason Top 25 By Zach Barnett May 6, 2025 Spring football is over, and the portal is now closed. I'm not sure exactly what point "next season" became "this season," but I know we passed it a long time ago. With rosters and coaching staffs largely set and the summer practically upon us, a number of outlets released their post-spring Top 25s. Here, we've combined them all to form something of a Consensus Pre-Preseason Top 25. How much will this resemble the final AP Top 25 in January? Not at all. But with public opinion coalescing, the preseason AP Top 25 will take this general shape. To form the first annual FootballScoop Pre-Preseason Top 25, we combined the post-spring Top 25 from CBS (written by Brandon Marcello), On3 (Andy Staples), Fox (Joel Klatt), Athlon (Bryan Driskell) and 247 (an actual poll of their writers). ESPN and others will likely have their own soon (ESPN released their 2024 edition on May 20), but it's unlikely anyone will shift the consensus of the pundit class heading into training camp. In general, here's how The Experts see the national scene heading into the preseason: 25. Tennessee (Highest: 19 | Lowest: NR) 25. Nebraska (Highest: 20 | Lowest: NR) The Vols and Cornhuskers tied in my highly-scientific, proprietary formula, with TCU (No. 15 at CBS, but not ranked elsewhere) and Oklahoma (unranked in three of the five polls) also right there. In total, 34 teams garnered at least one vote. 24. Indiana (Highest: 9 | Lowest: NR) Curt Cignetti has no interest in being a flash in a pan. IU has invested significantly in his coaching staff, and also invested enough to nab QB Francisco Mendoza away from Cal. Nine wins feels like a great follow-up for the Hoosiers. 23. Auburn (Highest: 13 | Lowest: NR) Oklahoma bought high and sold low on Jackson Arnold. Or at least that's the hope at Auburn, where Hugh Freeze was a quarterback away from a 9-win team a year ago. Is Arnold that quarterback? 22. Texas A&M (Highest: 11 | Lowest: NR) Marcel Reed is entrenched at QB after beginning last season as a backup, and Mike Elko spent the winter portal upgrading Reed's options at wideout. 21. Ole Miss (Highest: 19 | Lowest: NR) Lane Kiffin had the fifth best-draft class on his roster last season and still couldn't make the Playoff. Maybe this time the Rebels will surpass muted expectations after falling short of their lofty hype in 2024. 20. Iowa State (Highest: 17 | Lowest: NR) Iowa State lost two NFL receivers but returns QB1 Rocco Becht. The run defense has to improve, as evidenced by their last-place ranking in the Big 12 (other than Oklahoma State, who was its own level of disaster last season) and the Cyclones' constanct presence in Cam Skattebo's highlight reel. 19. Texas Tech (Highest: 11 | Lowest: NR) Hoo boy. Expectations will be higher than Tommy Norris's blood pressure after what was surely a record-breaking portal spending spree. Tech did not have a single winning season in Big 12 play from 2010-21, but is 3-for-3 in that department under Joey McGuire. Last year's team beat Big 12 champ Arizona State and runner-up Iowa State, but missed the title game thanks to a 24-point no-show vs. Baylor and a controversial 1-point loss to TCU (with weren't without controversy). Now's the time. 18. Kansas State (Highest: 13 | Lowest: NR) Dare I say, a reputation pick? Avery Johnson will have to play better in 2025 than he did in '24 for K-State to live up to this ranking. Handed the reins from Will Howard, Johnson finished 62nd in passing efficiency last season. 17. SMU (Highest: 12 | Lowest: NR) SMU hasn't lost a regular-season conference game since Nov. 17, 2022. A fantastic debut ACC season was marred by a bummer of a finish, but Rhett Lashlee has steadily built the Mustangs' depth and QB1 Kevin Jennings returns. 16. Michigan (Highest: 12 | Lowest: NR) The entire season will be a waiting game until No. 1 recruit Bryce Underwood takes the QB1 job. A September visit to Oklahoma looms, as do Weeks 3 and 4. 15. BYU (Highest: 14 | Lowest: 22) Arizona State was the 2024 Big 12 champion, but BYU finished tied with the Sun Devils in the standings and blew out Colorado, who also tied for first in the Big 12, in the Alamo Bowl. Kalani Sitake has won 10+ games in three of his last five seasons. 14. Miami (Highest: 11 | Lowest: 20) After losing the No. 1 pick in the 2025 NFL Draft, Miami slides in the guy everyone assumed at this time last year would be the No. 1 pick in the 2025 NFL Draft, the 'Canes should be really good on offense again. Mario Cristobal and new coordinator Corey Heatherman have to fix a defense that turned what should've been an ACC championship, CFP-berth season into a Pop-Tarts Bowl loss. 13. South Carolina (Highest: 11 | Lowest: 22) South Carolina returns top-of-the-draft talent at premium positions in QB LaNorris Sellers, WR Nyck Harbor and DE Dylan Stewart. There's not a single game on the schedule South Carolina can't win. 12. Arizona State (Highest: 10 | Lowest: 17) Cam Skattebo will be a big loss, but Arizona State returns arguably the game's top QB-WR tandem in Sam Leavitt and Jordyn Tyson, who were each offered millions to leave Tempe this offseason according to a source. 11. Florida (Highest: 10 | Lowest: 15) Billy Napier survived all the preseason eulogies written for him after an 11-14 start to his tenure and the toughest (preseason) schedule in college football history. No one's going to be firing Napier this summer, but now his reward for exceeding expectations in '24 is greater expectations in '25. No one would be surprised if DJ Lagway emerges as the game's top quarterback this season. 10. Illinois (Highest: 9 | Lowest: 14) Indiana was the Big Ten's breakout team in 2024, but Illinois -- who won 10 games and returns starting quarterback Luke Altmyer -- has the pundit class's confidence entering the season. 9. LSU (Highest: 7 | Lowest: 15) Garrett Nussmeier can sling it, but has Brian Kelly built enough around him to compete for titles? 8. Alabama (Highest: 5 | Lowest: 9) This will be a pivotal year for Kalen DeBoer specifically and for Alabama generally. After more than a decade and a half as the main character in college football, will the Tide return to the forefront now that DeBoer has "his guys" in key spots (OC Ryan Grubb, QB1 TBD), or is Alabama just another program now? Alabama will start in its lowest spot since 2008. 7. Georgia (Highest: 5 | Lowest: 8 😎 Georgia never quite clicked in 2024, and still won the SEC. Now, pundits view the Bulldogs outside the top-top tier heading off a "down" season; Georgia will likely start outside the AP top-5 for the first time since 2017. 6. Oregon (Highest: Highest: 4 | Lowest: 7) After playing 29-year-old Bo Nix and 32-year-old Dillon Gabriel at quarterback the past two years (both numbers approximate), Dan Lanning turns to 20-year-old Dante Moore, who may prove to be the best QB in Oregon history. 5. Notre Dame (Highest: 2 | Lowest: 7) Beating Georgia and Penn State at neutral sites won this program a lot of respect, but they remain a step away from winning hardware. Marcus Freeman has upgraded the base talent and athleticism across the roster, and now he'll have to win with a quarterback Notre Dame signed out of high school. 4. Clemson (Highest: 3: Lowest 6) Is Clemson truly back among the nation's elite, or are we all talking ourselves into a team that was fortunate to win an ACC title game where it entered as an underdog and was generally non-competitive against Georgia and Texas last season, dropping Dabo Swinney's team to 3-7 in its last 10 games against the SEC? We should find out quickly: Clemson opens with LSU at Death Valley East. 3. Ohio State (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 5) The defending national champions lost a heckuva lot from the 2024 team: the fourth-best draft class of all time, and both coordinators. A whole lot of talent stuck around, though, starting with arguably the best offensive and defensive players in college football in wideout Jeremiah Smith and safety Caleb Downs. 2. Penn State (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 4) It feels like we've had a few "If not now, when?" seasons for James Franklin as he heads into Year 12 at Penn State, now nearly a decade removed from his lone B1G title and his last win over Ohio State. Penn State will have arguably the best front seven in college football and arguably the best backfield in college football, with a re-vamped receiver room. Will it be enough to get over the hump? 1. Texas (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 4) Been a while since you've heard a "Is Texas back?!?!" joke, hasn't it? The only team to make the last two CFP semifinals, Texas is 25-5 over the past two seasons as expectations ratchet up for Steve Sarkisian with Arch Manning stepping into the QB1 role for, as of the current expectation, the next two seasons. Edited May 10May 10 by LTtxfan
May 10May 10 22 minutes ago, Red Five said: Lulz, the only SEC team in the top six. Valid point... 7, 8, 9 is where more SEC teams show up 10. Illinois (Highest: 9 | Lowest: 14) 9. LSU (Highest: 7 | Lowest: 15) 8. Alabama (Highest: 5 | Lowest: 9) 7. Georgia (Highest: 5 | Lowest: 8 😎 6. Oregon (Highest: Highest: 4 | Lowest: 7) 5. Notre Dame (Highest: 2 | Lowest: 7) 4. Clemson (Highest: 3: Lowest 6) 3. Ohio State (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 5) 2. Penn State (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 4) 1. Texas (Highest: 1 | Lowest: 4)
May 10May 10 36 minutes ago, cmontexas said: You gotta be kidding with this Illinois bullshit They return a ton of staters from a 10 win team and have an easy Big 10 schedule. There will probably be an Indiana almost every year that takes advantage of an easy conference schedule Edited May 10May 10 by alincoln
May 10May 10 5 hours ago, LTtxfan said: SIAP... Lol who the fuck has A&M ranked 11 and what other "who the fuck" has Tech ranked 11?
May 11May 11 ASU lost like 5 or 6 people from their entire 2 deep, brought in a 1,000 yard rusher to replace Skattebo and is somehow going from #7 in the last top 25 to mid teens and I'd just love someone to justify it besides "Well Texas really wasn't trying" or some shit. They have an All American caliber WR that missed the CCG and Peach Bowl back now too. There's some preseason cooking going on. Edited May 11May 11 by wablty
May 11May 11 Kind of interesting to see ASU actually try for a change. Though in all honesty they weren’t really trying when they hired Dillingham, they just got lucky. Turns out he can coach a little bit though.
May 12May 12 Kenny D has a good thing going there at ASU. The Phoenix/Scottsdale area needs to support that resurrecting program. Hot as a MFer at night in September, but a beautiful place when it cools down. Hook’em!!!
May 12May 12 Spring training week I spent in Phoenix/Scottsdale was one of my most favorite week of vacation spent in my adulthood. Wife and kids didn’t appreciate it as much, but I fed them dinner at area restaurants and the kids got to swim at the hotel, while I watched baseball. They did join me for over 50% of the time, but “practice” baseball got old on them after about 3 days and let me go by myself. Hook’em!!!
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