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I'd like to tell you the good news about Jesus Christ. He once preached, "PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!"

Jesus can be a blessing everyday in your life. For example, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

 

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She’s a regular Mother Tourettesa.

If y’all don’t smother this with rep, I will hate you all.
I'd like to tell you the good news about Jesus Christ. He once preached, "PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!"
Jesus can be a blessing everyday in your life. For example, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
 

I mean...I’d listen to that kinda savior.
1 hour ago, mulletpelini said:

giphy.gif

oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..  Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk...

2 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

giphy.gif

Idiot with a death wish.

29 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

 

When somebody does this on their own merit, and not crashed into / swerved, I have always thought the DMV needs to take their license away for 6 months and then they have to earn their licence back the way they did when they were 16. 

The distracted/wrong pedal excuses tell me you have no business driving an automobile. 

18 minutes ago, markstanco said:

When somebody does this on their own merit, and not crashed into / swerved, I have always thought the DMV needs to take their license away for 6 months and then they have to earn their licence back the way they did when they were 16. 

The distracted/wrong pedal excuses tell me you have no business driving an automobile. 

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Getting out palms up like gee I don’t know how that happened isn’t really a great look. At least fake a chest pain or swat at fake bees or something. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

In the old days before safety features it was more excusable.  Twice I saw people crash into a building by trying to start their manual transmission vehicles without pushing in the clutch while they were in gear.

27 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Getting out palms up like gee I don’t know how that happened isn’t really a great look. At least fake a chest pain or swat at fake bees or something. 

Blonde female?  No one would buy either of those excuses from her.  The real answer is too obvious.

 
No, looks about a fathom deep.
6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

83086842_190670385663260_756430088566105
supposed MVA passenger with feet on dash

Anything is a dildo if you’re brave stupid enough.

2 minutes ago, futureman said:

MVA?

I interpreted it to mean motor vehicle accident, which would make sense in this context. I agree though this place uses acronyms at a high frequency and often leaves me puzzled. Yeah, I paused on this one too.

Gotta use those context clues.

I interpreted it to mean motor vehicle accident, which would make sense in this context. I agree though this place uses acronyms at a high frequency and often leaves me puzzled. Yeah, I paused on this one too.
Gotta use those context clues.

Clearly, it’s “major vagina accident.”
2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Clearly, it’s “major vagina accident.”

Well, now that you mention it.

I wouldn't want to be the doctor to tell her, but with those narrow hips, that girl couldn't have any more than 6 or 7 children

3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

83086842_190670385663260_756430088566105
supposed MVA passenger with feet on dash

Dammit, I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to tell females in my family that the airbag will snap their legs if we have an accident with their feet on the dash. Now I have evidence. 

5 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I wouldn't want to be the doctor to tell her, but with those narrow hips, that girl couldn't have any more than 6 or 7 children

Pos rep for the reference.  I gotta get a picture of this investment analysts I was seated next to at this conference yesterday.  He literally just moved to Austin two weeks ago from SE Pennsylvania.  I won't post his name here in case anyone knows him, but it's a very Dutch-sounding name.  And of course, he has a very thin beard all the way around except off the chin, which he appears to have been growing for a long while.  And every time he looked at his high-tech phone, I just wanted to scream out, "Does anybody else not find this incredibly odd?  Am I the only one that sees what's going on?"  But I kept quiet, except on surly, in case he's trying to escape back home.  But he moved here with his wife and she works for some tech start-up, so I dunno.  

8 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

83086842_190670385663260_756430088566105
supposed MVA passenger with feet on dash

That definitely could be a post mortem x-ray

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34 minutes ago, futureman said:

she’s as sure-footed as a mountain goat. 

Aggy has entered the chat

You can tell she's never played football, coach would be all over her for not carrying in the right hand.

probability is high that that guy ends up shooting himself at some point in the future if he keeps "practicing"

 

*not killing himself, just  winging a foot, side, or the other arm

On 1/23/2020 at 8:51 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

Aggy has entered the chat

Well done.  Well done, sir.

I get training to draw for a threat right in front of you, but even then, you'd be back peddling to try to maintain separation. Is this guy practicing to be the threat? Lol

I was more like "daaaaamn" but we don't have a thread for that

 

36 minutes ago, SurlyBDR said:

I was more like "daaaaamn" but we don't have a thread for that

 

That's how they kill the bats, before they eat them.

Not that it's not impressive as shit, but that floor has some spring to it.

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

That's how they kill the bats, before they eat them.

Ozzy knows karate?

On 1/23/2020 at 7:51 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

Aggy has entered the chat

I repped it, and now I'm quoting it. Fantastic.

5 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

probability is high that that guy ends up shooting himself at some point in the future if he keeps "practicing"

 

*not killing himself, just  winging a foot, side, or the other arm

Chances that dude is a virgin.....is there a percentage higher than 100?

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