Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.4m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

I didn't want that monkey to rip the kid's face off, but it could have at least ripped his hat off and taken a shit it in it or something.

10 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Would have smacked the shit out of my kids if they had done that.

straight to jail, kids to CPS.  

1 minute ago, futureman said:

straight to jail, kids to CPS.  

yeah I know the rules. Did you forget what site you are on?

38 minutes ago, futureman said:

straight to jail, kids to CPS.  

nobody's going to jail for spanking a kid's ass. I said spanking NOT beating 

fuck that.the phrase it takes a village is real... someone needs to step up and tell these little prince's and princesses that they arent gods gift to the world just because they exist. 

40 years ago the village would have united and told that little fuck he was wrong. all this "mind you own business if it aint your kid" crap needs to fucking stop.

if in 3 seconds a parent didnt run up to him after that video and at an absolutely minimum admonish the fuck, I sure as fuck would have done it myself and then told his karen mother to go fuck herself.   let her scream for the cops, you have a fucking future serial killer on tape being an absolute shithead.  

 

On 1/19/2024 at 5:38 AM, PRONG HORN said:

 

 

 

 

Future serial killer right there.  

Kid probably shot up his school when they got home from vacation.

On 1/19/2024 at 7:23 AM, BeardIP said:

serial killer tendencies. make sure that kid can't get guns one day.

 

nope-no.gif

On 1/18/2024 at 12:53 PM, Incredulity said:

sink or swim

The dingo did not eat your baby!

and God said... Fuck that car in particular....

 

and the other one too...

On 1/19/2024 at 7:34 PM, Bevo&Pevo said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who hasn't experienced this feeling after a long Saturday night?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Bevo&Pevo

that fire engine..holy shit.

I think it goes right into the garage of the beige house if not for the vehicle it hits.

Another angle of the fire engine. 

 

17 hours ago, nnm said:

Another angle of the fire engine. 

 

Like a glove. 

 
 

Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?
On 8/31/2023 at 10:26 AM, TrashMaster G said:

Yeah, but it's probably Commie twine, so that doesn't count.

 

 

Try 459-2222

 

Yes, I know how old this post I'm replying to is. 

 

Back in Austin when I was in school, before Uber, before cell phones, shit before the internet, the number to get a cab was 452-9999, which was easy to remember, even shit faced and tripping at 4 am, because of that goddamn Mr. Gattis jingle. 

 

7 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?

I can't watch all the way through.  I have to look away repeatedly.  

10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?

You’re sitting on them again. Raise up a little bit. 

32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?

Same. It's really damn uncomfortable.

43 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?

Like pulls them up into my stomach, not a fan

On 1/19/2024 at 7:15 AM, tx ind said:

Fuck that kid

Reminds me of taking my kid to Inner Space Caverns the other day. There was another kid about 10-12 years old walking in front of us (not sure where his parents were, but his sister was ahead of him). He had one of those stretchy sticky hands from the quarter machine. 

Cave guide gives spiel about how the formations are thousands of years old and not to touch them. Of course, kid is walking and slapping shit with that sticky hand. Instinctively told him to cut it out before wondering if mom and dad are going to try to fight me or something.

On 1/19/2024 at 4:38 AM, PRONG HORN said:

 

 

 

 

 

Agree with consensus regarding the cunt kid.

Funny story re: monkey.  A few years back, my gf and I were walking across a bridge in Nepal, and a macaque was walking toward us along the concrete rail of the bridge to our right.  I pointed at him to tell my gf how cute he was, and he flinched as if he thought I was trying to knock him off the bridge (it was about 30 ft down to the dry stream/river bed below.  

After he flinched, he completely stopped and turned around to face us as we walked away and he literally shouted at me, and I mean he was furious.

It's incredible how alike we are to apes/monkeys, because I guarantee you he was shouting, in monkey language, "Fuck you, you DICK!"

16 minutes ago, Augustus said:

After he flinched, he completely stopped and turned around to face us as we walked away and he literally shouted at me, and I mean he was furious.

It's incredible how alike we are to apes/monkeys, because I guarantee you he was shouting, in monkey language, "Fuck you, you DICK!"

That monkey probably went home and posted on his preferred message board about how some asshole nearly ran him off a bridge that day.

And by "preferred message board," I mean Texags.

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Watching stuff like that literally makes my balls hurt. What’s up with that?

My no pics wife says on similar videos "that makes my crotch hurt" 

On 1/22/2024 at 8:10 AM, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

so are the people from the car in front just lying dead in the road there when he’s getting the family out of car #1?

1 hour ago, markstanco said:

My no pics wife says on similar videos "that makes my crotch hurt" 

I'm sure you're happy she can feel something in her crotch.

Or, maybe not.

20 minutes ago, futureman said:

so are the people from the car in front just lying dead in the road there when he’s getting the family out of car #1?

I think those were bags/luggage?

  • Popular Post
4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Old man hazard.

 

IMG_2737.gif

6 hours ago, nnm said:

 

 

No harness & barefoot.

 

My taint got all tingly (& not in a good way).

37 minutes ago, nnm said:

 

IMG_2737.gif

At what age does your scrotum lose its elasticity and just let your balls dangle?

  • Popular Post

Reminds me of a story one of my old tech teachers told us:

He was working for a major manufacturing company and they had a site-wide employee meeting to go over new site policies and address employee concerns. One old guy got up and asked when they were going to fix the toilet in the downstairs bathroom. Management was confused because they hadn't heard anyone else mention a problem with said toilet and asked what the problem was. "The water level is too high. When you sit down, your balls are in the water." There were quite a lot of laughs, and lots of people had to stop by to check the water level because nobody else had that problem.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

At what age does your scrotum lose its elasticity and just let your balls dangle?

Paging @Armybrat to the courtesy phone. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.