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Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you

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I sneezed while taking a piss this morning, and not only did I not piss all over my pants, but I manage to keep it all in the bowl.  Thats some Buddhist monk shit right there.  

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  • Walden Ponderer
    Walden Ponderer

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  • BayouBill
    BayouBill

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1 hour ago, Dertyberd said:

Thats some Buddhist monk shit right there.  

???

Comprised of one grain of rice, and delivered at the precise time intended by the universe?

7 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

???

Comprised of one grain of rice, and delivered at the precise time intended by the universe?

The power to channel a river amongst the chaos of earthquakes and the roar of Gods.  

Perfectly syncing the radio feed to the video feed so I don’t have to listen to Joe Buck.  

the ability to speed up playback of insipid mandatory training videos that are at best tangentially relevant to my job.

8 minutes ago, Llogg said:

the ability to speed up playback of insipid mandatory training videos that are at best tangentially relevant to my job.

I'd give the left side of my ass for that ability.

Late Friday night when I pulled in the driveway all I could here was the wind in the trees.  No cars, AC units, dogs barking or people.  Just leaves/pine needles/palm fronds rustling in the wind. 

Music to my ears.

 

 

 

The mountains are calling and I must go.

Woke up hungover this morning at 11:05. Fuck, too late for Whataburger taquitos. Then checked my phone and realized it was actually 10:05. Fuck yes. 

One of those 100% clearance-rate farts where your entire digestive tract is totally devoid of gas afterwards. 

Heading south yesterday getting on the HOV lane.  Two stupid fucks are hauling ass around me and the other 10-12 cars ahead that are already doing 65 in a 45.  They pass us on the left but arent seeing the HC motorcycle cops up ahead.  Both get pulled over.    Bet that put a damper on their morning.

The changing colors of the leaves at Fall. Love the gold, orange, purple, and red that's spread about with the remainder of the green leaves on all the trees in our area. 

And before one of you drops in to crap on my trivial thing that's pleasing with your "BUT YEAH, YOU NOW HAVE TO RAKE ALL THOSE LEAVES UP, MEH!", I don't give a shit about that at all. I'll put those in a pile so the kids can jump into them. I love the Fall. You can't take that away from me, you fucking killjoys. 

Edited by mdmost

When the “trivial things that please the crap out of you” and the “bidet meta” threads line up next to each other. Nice. 

7 hours ago, mdmost said:

The changing colors of the leaves at Fall. Love the gold, orange, purple, and red that's spread about with the remainder of the green leaves on all the trees in our area. 

And before one of you drops in to crap on my trivial thing that's pleasing with your "BUT YEAH, YOU NOW HAVE TO RAKE ALL THOSE LEAVES UP, MEH!", I don't give a shit about that at all. I'll put those in a pile so the kids can jump into them. I love the Fall. You can't take that away from me, you fucking killjoys. 

 

Those trees are probably invasive species that have displaced the native elms and other hardwoods. By letting the leaves just sit and not raking them, you are choking out the few remaining seeds of the natives, preventing them from germinating.

 

8 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Those trees are probably invasive species that have displaced the native elms and other hardwoods. By letting the leaves just sit and not raking them, you are choking out the few remaining seeds of the natives, preventing them from germinating.

 

life.gif

On 11/3/2019 at 2:36 PM, Frank The Tank said:

Woke up hungover this morning at 11:05. Fuck, too late for Whataburger taquitos. Then checked my phone and realized it was actually 10:05. Fuck yes. 

Username most definitely checks out. 

  • 2 weeks later...

When the last day of your job that you quit is also the last day before having to change your password to access your laptop and company network.

On 10/27/2019 at 11:17 AM, Llogg said:

the ability to speed up playback of insipid mandatory training videos that are at best tangentially relevant to my job.

when they don't have any 'speedbumps' to click on as the video progresses.

I can just hit "play," read some Surly, and take the assessment at the end.  Most often with an adult beverage in hand.  This is training engagement at its best.

44 minutes ago, Iceman said:

when they don't have any 'speedbumps' to click on as the video progresses.

I can just hit "play," read some Surly, and take the assessment at the end.  Most often with an adult beverage in hand.  This is training engagement at its best.

Not really relevant, but they don't call them "speedbumps" around here. They call them "speed humps" and I can't pass by any of the signs warning about them without giggling like a junior high girl.

6 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Not really relevant, but they don't call them "speedbumps" around here. They call them "speed humps" and I can't pass by any of the signs warning about them without giggling like a junior high girl.

I'll be honest, I'd never heard of "rumble strips" until I lived in NoCar. Saw the sign "Rumble Strips Ahead" and immediately thought it was some sort of rippled potato chip.

5 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I'll be honest, I'd never heard of "rumble strips" until I lived in NoCar. Saw the sign "Rumble Strips Ahead" and immediately thought it was some sort of rippled potato chip.

Sounds more like a topless roller derby joint, to be honest.

A cool toilet seat for when I take a crap at work.
If you spray Lysol on it then it will be cool. If you use a paper ass gasket it will be neutral.

Sounds like you use none of those options and hope for the best.

What if he just sprays Lysol on his ass afterward?

Made it through Heathrow security in a mere 30 seconds, but also without having to have my bag searched or get yelled at for not having liquids in the "right" bags, which hasn't happened the last twenty trips through there.

When you’re eating Tex mex and the chips are warm and you get 3 or 4 that are folded together and not quite 100% crispy 

1 hour ago, tx ind said:

When you’re eating Tex mex and the chips are warm and you get 3 or 4 that are folded together and not quite 100% crispy 

did you mean to post this in the things that make you surly thread?

Flawless weekly trip to HEB (when its open).  Long, pre-Thankgiving Day list.  Arrive 9:30 on Sunday morning to plenty of open parking spots in my row.  Make it through the produce section without wanting to kill some dumbass.  No line at the deli counter.  Everything on the list was stocked and available.  Perfect choice of checkout lane - no line and the fucking A team on scanning and sacking.  I've been shopping at this HEB since it opened in 2004 and today was probably the best, all around trip ever.

On 11/24/2019 at 8:44 AM, tx ind said:

When you’re eating Tex mex and the chips are warm and you get 3 or 4 that are folded together and not quite 100% crispy 

I like to dip those in the creamy jalapeno. Volume matters.

55 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

I like to dip those in the creamy jalapeno. Volume matters.

Creamy jalapeño.  That’s a new one. Is that what they called it back in the day?

Cool weather in Texas means homemade tamales. I say gotdamn! 

Aviation thoughts:

1.) During the day, when I see contrails I can just stare at them as the change from thin to widening.

2.) At night, on a cloudless night, when there's a plane way up in the sky, looking like a slow moving shooting star I wonder where it came from and where its going. 

 

10 hours ago, Macanudo said:

 

2.) At night, on a cloudless night, when there's a plane way up in the sky, looking like a slow moving shooting star I wonder where it came from and where its going. 

 

Download the FlightRadar24 app. It's free, and cool as shit. 

Flightradar24 is worth the premium subscription. Lots of cool shit to view, cockpit view and such.

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Download the FlightRadar24 app. It's free, and cool as shit. 

The thing, I dont really want to know.  I just like thinking about this possibilities.

On a related note, when I'm flying I love looking out the window and trying to pick out landmarks (if I know where things are) or just watching the topography.  S

2 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Flightradar24 is worth the premium subscription. Lots of cool shit to view, cockpit view and such.

my friend in jersey seems to be under the flight path of pretty much anything from PHL (and on south to ATL) on its way to europe.  sat in his backyard drinking beers and watching heavies overhead all afternoon. 

17 minutes ago, elfenix said:

my friend in jersey seems to be under the flight path of pretty much anything from PHL (and on south to ATL) on its way to europe.  sat in his backyard drinking beers and watching heavies overhead all afternoon. 

Before I subscribed, I didn't know how much of the traffic over my place was international to and from Houston and the Middle East. I also get a lot of traffic to/from Mexico City

When I’m driving with others in the car and see a donkey in a field, allowing me to use my best dad joke:  “Check out that ass!”

6 hours ago, Macanudo said:

The thing, I dont really want to know.  I just like thinking about this possibilities.

On a related note, when I'm flying I love looking out the window and trying to pick out landmarks (if I know where things are) or just watching the topography.  S

Actually really fun playing that game when flying into DCA 

Carne guisada that is so tender it’s more like filet mignon with gravy that is like what you grew up on from your buddies’ abuelitas’ kitchen.  Oh and pillow soft fluffy tortillas to boot on a wintry day. 

Leftover Thanksgiving meal sandwich. Toasted sourdough, turkey, suffing, cranberry sauce, gravy.  Magnificent.

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