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Mexican Restaurants Where They Hide in the Back If They Think You Only Speak English

Featured Replies

Let us sing the glory of the local Mexican joint where the waitresses hide in the kitchen if you walk in looking all non-Mexican because they don't speak any English, or maybe they do, but they think you're some kind of cop.

There should be work trucks with ladders parked outside.

Signs should include some form of fluorescent poster board and magic marker.

Servings should be heart-attack large.

There should be a shrine to The Virgin Mary and some reference to a home village/region on a poster, behind the register.

Extra points for cash only, and/or a restaurant name that evokes a battle from the Revolucion.

  • Author
2 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

What?

Go to San Antonio, drive around inside 410 on surface streets.

of course i want 2 enchiladas, a taco, a tostada, guacamole salet, chips, salsa, and a drink for $8.

Edited by elfenix

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.

Reminds me of when my mom was impressed with my "bilingual skills" because the waitress, walking around with a pot of coffee in hand, asked me "Mas café?" and I answered "Si, gracias".

Yeah takes years of education and practice to understand that café means coffee.

  • Author

Well hell, if all y'all Buffalo Wild Wings generica denizens haven't kicked in now that the thread's been up 7 minutes, guess I'll inspire y'all by example.

Down the road there's a Fiesta-ish Mexico-Plex called "Mi Pueblo". Inside it is a sort of chow hall with a gut-buster buffet, but they make things to order. The waitress saw me and hid in the back. She peeked out once or twice, then hid again. I guess it didn't help that I was carrying a notebook.

Finally got a cook's attention and he ran her out to talk to me. I'm guessing she was Honduran, dunno. Anyway, they fixed me 2 enormous gorditas de lengua for 5 bucks, with whatever that sprinkly white cheese is called, and some lime and green sauce. It was good.

Then I walked back out and left.

Edited by RDCanecutter

And menudo ain't just on the weekends, bitch.

2 minutes ago, TornACL said:

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.

Reminds me of when my mom was impressed with my "bilingual skills" because the waitress, walking around with a pot of coffee in hand, asked me "Mas café?" and I answered "Si, gracias".

Yeah takes years of education and practice to understand that café means coffee.

California too.  But my problem is even though I took 4 yrs of Spanish in HS, my wife is pretty fluent so I always let her do all the talking.  So I got so rusty I don't trust myself anymore.

  • Author
Just now, Zepol87 said:

I went to Torteria Insurgentes this weekend so hits close to home. They never talk to my mom and always ask me what she wants to eat and drink lol

Finally! Zepol87 knows the fuck what is up.

I went to Torteria Insurgentes this weekend so hits close to home. They never talk to my mom and always ask me what she wants to eat and drink lol

  • Author

My wife is not Mexican but Mexicans often think she is. When we go in a place together, they look at her, then they speak to me in Spanish because of course she taught me.

I've known way too many white people that purposely stumble through an order and waitstaff experience at a Mexican dive so as not to "stoop to their Mexican/Spanish" level.  Same dipshit though heads to Olive Garden for his "fancy night out" and tries to sound like Gualtiero Marchesi ordering dinner and wine from the obviously-not italian server.  

I guess I'd have to have been to an Olive Garden at some point after high school to see Signore Marchesi doing his thing...

 

 

 

  • Author

Everybody on the planet understands English if you yell it loud enough.

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.
Reminds me of when my mom was impressed with my "bilingual skills" because the waitress, walking around with a pot of coffee in hand, asked me "Mas café?" and I answered "Si, gracias".
Yeah takes years of education and practice to understand that café means coffee.
Con leche
  • Author
32 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Same dipshit though heads to Olive Garden for his "fancy night out" and tries to sound like Gualtiero Marchesi ordering dinner and wine from the obviously-not italian server.  

supernatural-gifs-2.gif

1 hour ago, TornACL said:

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.

I thought my Texmexican was good enough to get me around Spain.  They just looked at me like I was aggy when I talked to them.

6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I thought my Texmexican was good enough to get me around Spain.  They just looked at me like I was aggy when I talked to them.

Just pretend you have a lisp and can't pronounce anything. You'll be good to go.

1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

Go to San Antonio, drive around inside 410 on surface streets.

No.

I also didn't realize cojita cheese was some sort of rare article that people wouldn't know what it is called.

  • Author
1 minute ago, SizzleChest said:

No.

I'm starting to doubt your commitment to heart disease, sir.

1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

I'm starting to doubt your commitment to heart disease, sir.

You've clearly never seen me mainline a pound of moist brisket.

  • Author
6 minutes ago, SizzleChest said:

I also didn't realize cojita cheese was some sort of rare article that people wouldn't know what it is called.

People probably know its name, but I didn't. I don't know the names of most things in English, much less in Foreign. I just point, bark, and scratch at the case.

1 hour ago, TornACL said:

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.

Reminds me of when my mom was impressed with my "bilingual skills" because the waitress, walking around with a pot of coffee in hand, asked me "Mas café?" and I answered "Si, gracias".

Yeah takes years of education and practice to understand that café means coffee.

Truth in posting, I haven't lived in Texas for over 20 years. But when I go back I can certainly still order in Messican, and some other importante things.
Like - Una mas cerveza, muy fria por favor and then of course donde esta el bano

1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

On Fredericksburg road in San Antonio:

ab68b3986885896b1d1a57e42d1a0e09.jpg?fit

at work, starving, could use mexican, 10 minutes from there. never tried it. do i dare?

I dig this thread.  Someone throw out some legit Austin examples so I can go sample them. 

I like Borrego, Taco More and Mi Tradicion, but I am guessing those don't quite qualify for this thread.  They all tend to have at least one member of the waitstaff that speaks English . . . which is who they send to my table under the correct assumption that my Spanish sucks.    

  • Author
5 minutes ago, po elvis said:

at work, starving, could use mexican, 10 minutes from there. never tried it. do i dare?

I don't have any bad memories from 4-5 years ago, so go scout it out!

  • Author
3 minutes ago, Ollie Slatt said:

I dig this thread.  Someone throw out some legit Austin examples so I can go sample them. 

I like Borrego, Taco More and Mi Tradicion, but I am guessing those don't quite qualify for this thread.  They all tend to have at least one member of the waitstaff that speaks English . . . which is who they send to my table under the correct assumption that my Spanish sucks.    

It still qualifies.

Tienda Mi Ranchito in Bryan. She didn't wait for me to say numero catorce. As I was walking to the window of the kitchen she disappeared. She brought back Boss Lady who took my order. She eventually decided after a few visits that I could communicate well enough to leave the boss alone.

 

  • Author

A quick "como le va?" will sometimes reel a fleeing server back in. It's not the usual thing somebody who doesn't speak Spanish would say.

24 minutes ago, po elvis said:

at work, starving, could use mexican, 10 minutes from there. never tried it. do i dare?

If you're on FBurg Road, head up to Blanco Cafe near Medical.

2 hours ago, TornACL said:

I'm amazed by anybody who lives in Texas and can't speak enough Spanish to order Mexican food at a restaurant. I mean if you're an adult, by this point, you should have picked up enough to at least be able to do that.

Reminds me of when my mom was impressed with my "bilingual skills" because the waitress, walking around with a pot of coffee in hand, asked me "Mas café?" and I answered "Si, gracias".

Yeah takes years of education and practice to understand that café means coffee.

Lessons from Grendel...

1 hour ago, SizzleChest said:

I also didn't realize cojita cheese was some sort of rare article that people wouldn't know what it is called.

I think cojita cheese is a rare article.  Cotija cheese, on the other hand, is fairly common.

2 hours ago, Native Horn said:

Cotija cheese, on the other hand, is fairly common.

I wish.  Just left my local DFW area Albertson’s and they’ve stopped carrying cotija.  Dammit.

HEB, please get your asses up here.

More on topic, El Gallito de Jalisco on Wurzbach in San Antonio... haven’t been in years, but they were the opposite of thread title.  They would only speak Spanish and would just enjoy the awkwardness if you couldn’t speak Spanish.  I think it was the 2002 World Cup when we’d watch games there over breakfast.  Great food.  Dammit again, now I’m hungry.

Edited by solamente73
....

4 hours ago, Native Horn said:

I think cojita cheese is a rare article.  Cotija cheese, on the other hand, is fairly common.

tenor.gif

No particular order for SA

El Azteco on Basse

Portillos on Sommerset

Taquitos on west avenue

Judy's on Roosevelt

 

Other key components are as follows:

-Pictures of featured food items on the menu

-Receipt given to you by the waitress, but you pay at the register

-Chicle at the register

-Horchata fountain behind the register

My recommendations.  Most are south-ish.

Taqueria #3 La Escondida (Ben White just east of Manchaca.  I drop my truck off at Discount Tire to get tires rotated and balanced and enjoy a nice huevos rancheros breakfast with nopalitos).

Taqueria Arandas (multiple locations around town)

Casa Linda Taqueria (way South First)

Taqueria Peloncitos (Stassney near Kizer GC)

El Chanclas Taqueria (183 S @ 812)

Or when they close for a week or so a couple of times a year because the owner has gone back home.


our favorite tacos bar none in austin are at a truck on the SE corner of mopac and wells branch called davi's tacos.  cash only.  not much english.  other than that, fonda del sol on east 7th had a great lunch buffet. 

49 minutes ago, Spaulding Smails said:

Other key components are as follows:

-Pictures of featured food items on the menu

-Receipt given to you by the waitress, but you pay at the register

-Chicle at the register

-Horchata fountain behind the register

My recommendations.  Most are south-ish.

Taqueria #3 La Escondida (Ben White just east of Manchaca.  I drop my truck off at Discount Tire to get tires rotated and balanced and enjoy a nice huevos rancheros breakfast with nopalitos).

Taqueria Arandas (multiple locations around town)

Casa Linda Taqueria (way South First)

Taqueria Peloncitos (Stassney near Kizer GC)

El Chanclas Taqueria (183 S @ 812)

Perhaps one more criterium. Liga MX on the very old TV in the corner.

Taqueria y Panaderia Chihuahua in Giddings.  I didn't know what they were saying, but the breakfast tacos were outstanding.

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