October 13, 20205 yr Nevermind - maybe not the best thing to post. So here is a dude having a bad day, brought to you by the letter K. Edited October 13, 20205 yr by Prepuce of Doom
October 13, 20205 yr [no cr] we are watching the VP debate with 10yo daughter and she bust out laughing and yells "Her name is literally Karen?!? Oh my god" when Pence's wife got mentioned. [/no cr]
October 16, 20205 yr 4 year old: What’s the word I can’t say? Why can’t I say it? It’s just God damnit. Wife: [Eyes grow 8 sizes larger and rendered speechless] 2 year old: [with clarity never shown before] God damnit!!
October 18, 20205 yr On 10/16/2020 at 1:38 PM, Dnaguy said: 4 year old: What’s the word I can’t say? Why can’t I say it? It’s just God damnit. Wife: [Eyes grow 8 sizes larger and rendered speechless] 2 year old: [with clarity never shown before] God damnit!! Son of beech. Shit.
October 18, 20205 yr Is that like on of those pics where if you focus your eyes just right, jesus pops out at you?
October 18, 20205 yr My 3yo daughter at bedtime: “dadda, I tired. I want to cuddle” me: “ok, let’s go to the big bed and...” her: “no dadda, I want momma. Not you. Ok? Not you. Go find momma now. Not you. You not come too. Ok? Not you.” me: “well ok, I’ll go find mommy to cuddle you” her.” Yes. Yes dadda. You find momma and I cuddle with momma. And you shoo. Shoo dadda, shoo. Go away. ....I love you” It’s like looking into the future when she going need my help signing a lease for an apartment. Edited October 18, 20205 yr by Doc Reeves
October 18, 20205 yr 9 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said: Is that like on of those pics where if you focus your eyes just right, jesus pops out at you? FART
October 22, 20205 yr Just got called "Buttworm Jones." Edited October 22, 20205 yr by Prepuce of Doom That is not my name.
October 23, 20205 yr Author On 10/18/2020 at 8:43 AM, Doc Reeves said: My 3yo daughter at bedtime: “dadda, I tired. I want to cuddle” me: “ok, let’s go to the big bed and...” her: “no dadda, I want momma. Not you. Ok? Not you. Go find momma now. Not you. You not come too. Ok? Not you.” me: “well ok, I’ll go find mommy to cuddle you” her.” Yes. Yes dadda. You find momma and I cuddle with momma. And you shoo. Shoo dadda, shoo. Go away. ....I love you” It’s like looking into the future when she going need my help signing a lease for an apartment. This AM. Roxette is now 15, Monster is 13. She walks out the door to get down to the gate for the bus, just goes on out. He comes over & gives me a large hug, says "I love you, Dad. Be sure to drive safely wherever you go today." <sigh>
October 31, 20205 yr Popular Post Didn't know where else to put this. But my son (7) and I always stay up late on Fridays watching movies (Mandolorian last night). Then we usually "camp out" in my office. Last couple of weeks he's been asking stuff like "What do adults do?" "What do Dads do?" stuff like that. Last night, my wife was working overtime, so he and I ate and feed the baby (about a year and a half), changed her and got her to bed. During this, he goes "Is this what Mommies do?" And I said, lots of times ours does, but this is what parents do. Stuff like that recently. This morning, I got up like probably alot of us do well before anyone else. No noise but me and the dogs. Just one lamp on. Grab a cup of coffee and turned on ESPN with the sound way down and started reading the news. About ten minutes later, out walks the boy. Silently, he walks over grabs a coffee cup. Looks at me. I raise an eyebrow, but I don't say anything. Puts some coffee in it and sits down and quietly watches ESPN. No words said. Then "Dad?" Is this what men do?" "Yeah buddy. Yes is is." Edited October 31, 20205 yr by Jameslaw121
October 31, 20205 yr On 10/23/2020 at 8:18 AM, ROFL BOX said: This AM. Roxette is now 15, Cookie Monster is 13. She walks out the door to get down to the gate for the bus, just goes on out. He comes over & gives me a large hug, says "I love you, Dad. Be sure to drive safely wherever you go today." <sigh> Fify
October 31, 20205 yr My kids were trying to one up each other with bigger and bigger numbers. Boy (5): A quadrillion five hundred billion seven hundred and sixty-eight million four hundred and thirty two. Girl (8): A googol. Me to boy: Say googol time a googol. He repeats. This goes on a few times. By now I’m teaching them what a googol to the power of googol means. At this time, girl comes up with an even more ridiculously long number Me to boy: Say infinity. Boy: Infinity is not a number. It’s a concept. Despite being a tiger dad, I have never taught him that. I’m so proud and look forward to him inventing the warp drive.
November 1, 20205 yr Doomlet is currently running around the house naked from the waist down, and yelling/demanding that we "have to capture the turkey."
November 2, 20205 yr You and Mrs. Doom are cool parents. My folks always make me put on pants and sit down when I do that.
November 4, 20205 yr You and Mrs. Doom are cool parents. My folks always make me put on pants and sit down when I do that.Yeah, but you're 37.
November 4, 20205 yr You and Mrs. Doom are cool parents. My folks always make me put on pants and sit down when I do that.Yeah, but you're 37.
November 4, 20205 yr 8 hours ago, Modessit said: On 11/1/2020 at 6:47 PM, Scheiss Meister said: You and Mrs. Doom are cool parents. My folks always make me put on pants and sit down when I do that. Yeah, but you're 37. At least.
November 9, 20205 yr When I asked him why he didn't eat very much of his lunch, Doomlet told me that, "the gravity was awful." He then instructed me to smell his farts. Edited November 9, 20205 yr by Prepuce of Doom
November 9, 20205 yr 15 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said: When I asked him why he didn't eat very much of his lunch, Doomlet told me that, "the gravity was awful." He then instructed me to smell his farts. I sure hope that you are raising him to use his powers for good.
November 9, 20205 yr 22 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said: I sure hope that you are raising him to use his powers for good. TBD. He's since asked me, while perched naked on the toilet and through a closed bathroom door, whether Frank Black [note: the lead singer of The Pixies] is still with us. Edited November 9, 20205 yr by Prepuce of Doom
November 9, 20205 yr With us, as in alive, or in the house with you? From what you have posted here, it could be either.
November 9, 20205 yr Alive anywhere. Many of the musicians we listen to are dead, so we talk a lot about who is and isn't "with us."
November 20, 20205 yr Popular Post Last week a buddy got his pickup stuck when he was deer hunting. My wife was busy that evening so I took the kids to help try and pull him out. Other buddy is there in his CanAm, so I put kids in that and pull it up a hill a ways so they’re out of any potential harms way while we to go yanking on the stuck truck. We try for a few minutes before we decide it ain’t coming out with the setup we’re using so we call my brother in law who lives a couple miles away to bring his tractor. It’s getting later so kids and I leave before he arrives. We get home about the same time my wife does and my 4 year old goes into his spiel about how the front end of the truck was buried bad etc and finishes it very matter of factly with “mom, I don’t know how the fuck they’re going to get that truck out of there.”Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
November 20, 20205 yr 2 hours ago, burns_312 said: Last week a buddy got his pickup stuck when he was deer hunting. My wife was busy that evening so I took the kids to help try and pull him out. Other buddy is there in his CanAm, so I put kids in that and pull it up a hill a ways so they’re out of any potential harms way while we to go yanking on the stuck truck. We try for a few minutes before we decide it ain’t coming out with the setup we’re using so we call my brother in law who lives a couple miles away to bring his tractor. It’s getting later so kids and I leave before he arrives. We get home about the same time my wife does and my 4 year old goes into his spiel about how the front end of the truck was buried bad etc and finishes it very matter of factly with “mom, I don’t know how the fuck they’re going to get that truck out of there.” Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Fucking awesome...
November 22, 20205 yr “Dad, why does your surly horns profile have a mask and why is your name weird.”
November 24, 20205 yr I was helping him floss his teeth tonight and pulled out a prize of some sort, and when I showed it to him, he casually replied, "oh, that's just abandoned meat."
November 24, 20205 yr On 11/19/2020 at 9:25 AM, pacman said: Obviously not mine but this killed me... Gal I was dating said her 4 y/o son had the runs and called it "poop juice".
December 6, 20205 yr Last night while at the girlfriend's house, her 8 year old starts singing "Rockin around the Christmas tree" by Brenda Lee when all of a sudden 8 year old: "then we'll eat some fuckin pie.." GF: "Excuse me?!" 8 year old: "you know, that's what she says in the song" GF: "No sweetie, she says pumpkin pie" 8 year old: "Oh, well fuckin pie sounds better!" Guess who got in trouble for laughing...
December 6, 20205 yr Last night while at the girlfriend's house, her 8 year old starts singing "Rockin around the Christmas tree" by Brenda Lee when all of a sudden 8 year old: "then we'll eat some fuckin pie.." GF: "Excuse me?!" 8 year old: "you know, that's what she says in the song" GF: "No sweetie, she says pumpkin pie" 8 year old: "Oh, well fuckin pie sounds better!" Guess who got in trouble for laughing...Perfect opportunity to tell that crotch goblin that you’re gonna eat some pie later while winking at the mom.
December 6, 20205 yr 10yo after getting killed in a video game: "that's absolute fucking bullshit" no idea where get got that from.
December 9, 20205 yr Since we’re getting close to Christmas wife asked the 4yo (girl) if she’s been naughty or nice.4yo: i’ve been nice today.
December 9, 20205 yr "It's ok if I get coal for Christmas, cause I will just give it to Dad and he will cook something with it" I love that little asshole.
December 9, 20205 yr Didn't know where else to put this. But my son (7) and I always stay up late on Fridays watching movies (Mandolorian last night). Then we usually "camp out" in my office. Last couple of weeks he's been asking stuff like "What do adults do?" "What do Dads do?" stuff like that. Last night, my wife was working overtime, so he and I ate and feed the baby (about a year and a half), changed her and got her to bed. During this, he goes "Is this what Mommies do?" And I said, lots of times ours does, but this is what parents do. Stuff like that recently. This morning, I got up like probably alot of us do well before anyone else. No noise but me and the dogs. Just one lamp on. Grab a cup of coffee and turned on ESPN with the sound way down and started reading the news. About ten minutes later, out walks the boy. Silently, he walks over grabs a coffee cup. Looks at me. I raise an eyebrow, but I don't say anything. Puts some coffee in it and sits down and quietly watches ESPN. No words said. Then "Dad?" Is this what men do?" "Yeah buddy. Yes is is."That’s so bad ass. My 8 yo boy does similar things. I’ve woken up a few Saturday mornings this football season and walked into the living room. Each time he was already up watching LHN with a bowl of cereal that he fixed himself. A couple of the times he’s made himself a cup of single serve coffee. He’s already a man.
December 12, 20205 yr Damn @Jameslaw121. Those are the special little moments that make it all worth it. \m/ Edited December 12, 20205 yr by thunderlounge
December 12, 20205 yr 13 hours ago, thunderlounge said: Damn @Jameslaw121. Those are the special little moments that make it all worth it. \m/ Your damn right. I wish I realized that more with my oldest child.
December 12, 20205 yr My oldest left the Army as a sergeant about 2 years ago. This morning I woke up with the 7 year old boy sleeping on top of me on the couch (And the dog too). My back hurts, my elbows hurt. It was pretty awesome. Of course we almost always do this Friday night. Eventually he woke up ans said "It's Saturday? Its GAME DAY!!!" Had to tell him that UT wasn't playing today. It was a confusing conversation for him. he didn't understand why other teams were playing but not Texas. He went into my office and was playing on my computer. I also have TV in there that is pretty much only on ESPN. He just came out and asked if the Army/Navy game was today. I said yes. (We've watched it most of the years anyway, since it's just a pretty cool game to watch) He said we can watch that instead. Me : "Okay buddy, we'll watch it." Him "Go ARMY!!!! Beat Navy!!!!"
December 12, 20205 yr 2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said: Him "Go ARMY!!!! Beat Navy!!!!" Now we have a problem. 😂
December 16, 20205 yr Just a few minutes ago my 4 yo boy: “Daddy I need to pee.” “OK buddy just go, you know what to do.” “Daddy I need you to come with me so we can have a sword fight.” “What?”8 yo boy, laughing, “Yeah, I taught him that.”I just have to laugh...
December 16, 20205 yr On 12/12/2020 at 8:30 AM, Jameslaw121 said: My oldest left the Army as a sergeant about 2 years ago. This morning I woke up with the 7 year old boy sleeping on top of me on the couch (And the dog too). My back hurts, my elbows hurt. It was pretty awesome. Of course we almost always do this Friday night. Eventually he woke up ans said "It's Saturday? Its GAME DAY!!!" Had to tell him that UT wasn't playing today. It was a confusing conversation for him. he didn't understand why other teams were playing but not Texas. He went into my office and was playing on my computer. I also have TV in there that is pretty much only on ESPN. He just came out and asked if the Army/Navy game was today. I said yes. (We've watched it most of the years anyway, since it's just a pretty cool game to watch) He said we can watch that instead. Me : "Okay buddy, we'll watch it." Him "Go ARMY!!!! Beat Navy!!!!" you have one that's 2 years out of the army as a sergeant, and a 7 yr old? that is quite a spread.
December 16, 20205 yr 3 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said: you have one that's 2 years out of the army as a sergeant, and a 7 yr old? that is quite a spread. That’s what mom said.... and apparently did.
December 16, 20205 yr On 12/12/2020 at 10:04 AM, HenryJames said: Almost 4 year old daughter this morning, “Stop saying ‘fuck’ and ‘shit.’ Earlier this week: “Daddy, stop being a douche.”
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.