Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Tom "the turtle" Herman [Lame Duck or greatest 5d chess player ever?]

Featured Replies

17 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Great question.

Things that we are apparently good with:

1. Hiring rape apologists as QC coaches.

2. Dealing with street agents trainers in recruiting

3. Pursuing a head coach who harbored/enabled a physically abusive, mentally unstable husband 

Things that we are apparently not good with:

1. The Eyes of Texas

2. Brain dead football teams

3. Arrogant, stubborn, narcissistic, incompetent coaches 

We should just say fuck it and hire Huge Freeze.

Well shit, since we’re playing Alabama in a few years, let’s go all out and hire Lane Kiffin. Nick Saban can yell at him from the opposite sideline while we’re getting our ass kicked and our players are flexing when the other team gets a first down.

  • Replies 20k
  • Views 1.7m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

3 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

Was thinking Latina Relations Coordinator. 

LPRC you mean.. Latina Plumper Relations Coordinator...  Think @Vic Mackey could make his way being an insider with Major.

William Belichick is currently only making $10 million per year. He is stuck in New England, but originally from Nashville, so Austin would definitely feel more like home. I know he hasn't proven himself at the college level and he is as old as Larry Johnson, but he has tons of football experience. I think he has the ability to make the transition and could possibly point to other successes in life to help him a little with recruiting. Although I know it is a little risky, I say, balls across the face, make him an offer he can't refuse. Of course, this is only if our top choice, Urban, turns us down.

FWIW, Texas opened as a 14point favorite and its now down to 8.5...thats a lot of movement

This Notre Dame rumbling seems kinda interesting, I think. Not that Urban is actually angling for that job, but that maybe his side is floating all of this stuff to get Texas to shit or get off?

Then someone speaking about hearing Brian Kelly's name...  kinda interesting. 

 

*EDITED to add: Doubtful, as Kelly just signed an extension through 2024. 

Edited by UncleBuck

Just now, Bevo said:

William Belichick is currently only making $10 million per year. He is stuck in New England, but originally from Nashville, so Austin would definitely feel more like home. I know he hasn't proven himself at the college level and he is as old as Larry Johnson, but he has tons of football experience. I think he has the ability to make the transition and could possibly point to other successes in life to help him a little with recruiting. Although I know it is a little risky, I say, balls across the face, make him an offer he can't refuse. Of course, this is only if our top choice, Urban, turns us down.

No way we hire him after spygate and deflate gate... Plus he and Aaron Hernandez were REALLY close..NTTAWWT

1 minute ago, RGBIII said:

FWIW, Texas opened as a 14point favorite and its now down to 8.5...thats a lot of movement

lmao holy fuck

I thought Kelly quietly signed a contract extension in May. I doubt ND would turn around and get rid of him to hire Meyer. I doubt Texas would swoop in and create a ND void for Meyer to fill. Sounds like bullshit.

6 minutes ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

I thought Kelly quietly signed a contract extension in May. I doubt ND would turn around and get rid of him to hire Meyer. I doubt Texas would swoop in and create a ND void for Meyer to fill. Sounds like bullshit.

 

6 minutes ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

I thought Kelly quietly signed a contract extension in May. I doubt ND would turn around and get rid of him to hire Meyer. I doubt Texas would swoop in and create a ND void for Meyer to fill. Sounds like bullshit.

Damn, I think you're right. Appears he's there through 2024 now. Cannot find any buyout info yet. 

Edited by UncleBuck

3 minutes ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

I thought Kelly quietly signed a contract extension in May. I doubt ND would turn around and get rid of him to hire Meyer. I doubt Texas would swoop in and create a ND void for Meyer to fill. Sounds like bullshit.

Last month.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29869791/notre-dame-fighting-irish-extend-brian-kelly-contract-2024

7 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

FWIW, Texas opened as a 14point favorite and its now down to 8.5...thats a lot of movement

I mean that line was asinine.

12 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

For what its worth Brett McMurphy on Kirk Bohls' pod this morning said ND would be his first choice. Now that is just an opinion because there is zero chance that he has any  insider info on Urban after the Zach Smith saga he spear headed. 

Leverage goes both ways. And unless Kelly leaves for the NFL none of this shit matters anyway. He's under contract until 2024 and ND is currently 3rd in the AP however overrated anyone thinks they are. 

I doubt Texas and Urban are going to wait until after ND's season is done with to see if Kelly takes the Texans job (if he's even offered it) or another pending opening - I'm not super up to date on what NFL seats might be or become available. 

Kelly is not leaving ND to come to Texas. That would be the dumbest lateral move ever. If he did, sure, I guess Urban might go coach ND, but im guessing we have a better shot at Dabo or Saban or Shanahan than any of that coming remotely close to occurring.

9 minutes ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

I thought Kelly quietly signed a contract extension in May. 

Yes sir...contract reached in December, but announced in September according to this:

Notre Dame extends Kelly's contract through '24 https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29869791

Edited by wood

So with ND and Kelly being brought up, this means that negotiations are actually happening in the background??

up to something plotting GIF

20 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

This Notre Dame rumbling seems kinda interesting, I think. Not that Urban is actually angling for that job, but that maybe his side is floating all of this stuff to get Texas to shit or get off?

Then someone speaking about hearing Brian Kelly's name...  kinda interesting. 

 

*EDITED to add: Doubtful, as Kelly just signed an extension through 2024. 

Brian Kelly, no thanks. I like our video coordinators.

57 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Urban Meyer HC

Dabo - OC

Kelly - DC

Forgot Bellichik. 

13 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

I mean that line was asinine.

I had a dream last night that we won 78-21. 

So we covered the 14 in my dreams. 

Texas and Urban needs to stop with the mind games and kith already

25 minutes ago, Bevo said:

William Belichick is currently only making $10 million per year. He is stuck in New England, but originally from Nashville, so Austin would definitely feel more like home. I know he hasn't proven himself at the college level and he is as old as Larry Johnson, but he has tons of football experience. I think he has the ability to make the transition and could possibly point to other successes in life to help him a little with recruiting. Although I know it is a little risky, I say, balls across the face, make him an offer he can't refuse. Of course, this is only if our top choice, Urban, turns us down.

giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29qm8upyw7yx2mo8bfw3

1 minute ago, westexhorn said:

Texas and Urban needs to stop with the mind games and kith already

Herman just needs to hurry up and piss away the Baylor game. I'll almost be upset if we win on Saturday. 

1st... Brian Kelly is 10 times the coach Herman is.  I'll gladly take Kelly over Mullen, Malzhan, Franklin, Cristobal.  As overrated his teams can be, atleast he has made the CFP and beats the teams he should.  He would turn our OL recruiting and actually develop them.

With that said, LMAO at thinking Kelly would consider Texas.  No coach at a blue blood with success is coming here.  Why leave a better situation for the hot mess Mack, Strong, Herman have left here.  

Here is how this needs to work.  

CDC:  "Urban, what would make you consider Texas?"

Meyer:  "10 mil a year plus ability to choose coordinators that may be pricey"

CDC:  "Deal"

 

It's that simple...

27 minutes ago, Bevo said:

William Belichick is currently only making $10 million per year. He is stuck in New England, but originally from Nashville, so Austin would definitely feel more like home. I know he hasn't proven himself at the college level and he is as old as Larry Johnson, but he has tons of football experience. I think he has the ability to make the transition and could possibly point to other successes in life to help him a little with recruiting. Although I know it is a little risky, I say, balls across the face, make him an offer he can't refuse. Of course, this is only if our top choice, Urban, turns us down.

Belichick would be a great coordinator, but he’s no HC at the college level. 

Now that we know Urban likes Notre Dame, I really want to hear about his interest level in coaching Clemson or Alabama next year.

3 minutes ago, victory88 said:

1st... Brian Kelly is 10 times the coach Herman is.  I'll gladly take Kelly over Mullen, Malzhan, Franklin, Cristobal.  As overrated his teams can be, atleast he has made the CFP and beats the teams he should.  He would turn our OL recruiting and actually develop them.

With that said, LMAO at thinking Kelly would consider Texas.  No coach at a blue blood with success is coming here.  Why leave a better situation for the hot mess Mack, Strong, Herman have left here.  

Here is how this needs to work.  

CDC:  "Urban, what would make you consider Texas?"

Meyer:  "10 mil a year plus ability to choose coordinators that may be pricey"

CDC:  "Deal"

 

It's that simple...

I think we are all going to be amazed how quick a coach like urban changes this team and roster.  There's talent on this roster, I refuse to think we signed only busts.  Herman has been telling these players that they are on the cusp when they aren't.  Coaches like Urban don't do that, too many details to correct before even talking like that.  

While Kelly is not coming here, he would recruit better at Texas than he has at ND, for sure.

31 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

FWIW, Texas opened as a 14point favorite and its now down to 8.5...thats a lot of movement

They got a QB who is one hit away from being a ham sandwich but we such a cluster that the point spread drops. Awesome.

2 hours ago, Mo Horn said:

I messaged the best man in our wedding, who is a Baylor grad, and asked him to make sure that they won this weekend so we could go ahead and fire Herman. He said it was a done deal. 

F Baylor and anybody who roots for us to lose to them (or anybody else).

 

Just now, victory88 said:

1st... Brian Kelly is 10 times the coach Herman is.  I'll gladly take Kelly over Mullen, Malzhan, Franklin, Cristobal.  As overrated his teams can be, atleast he has made the CFP and beats the teams he should.  He would turn our OL recruiting and actually develop them.

With that said, LMAO at thinking Kelly would consider Texas.  No coach at a blue blood with success is coming here.  Why leave a better situation for the hot mess Mack, Strong, Herman have left here.  

Here is how this needs to work.  

CDC:  "Urban, what would make you consider Texas?"

Meyer:  "10 mil a year plus ability to choose coordinators that may be pricey"

CDC:  "Deal"

 

It's that simple...

I'd take Kelly.   I saw him when he was the HC at Grand Valley State when they were winning their DII National Champs.   They played their semi final game down in Kingsville when TAMUK had their program still going as D2 power.  Kelly was coaching ( IE directing the players) almost on every play.   He whooped the Javs by 30 points that afternoon.

4 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

F Baylor and anybody who roots for us to lose to them (or anybody else).

 

This is correct. We can do our required losing against kansas st, okie lite, and iowa st.  

4 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

F Baylor and anybody who roots for us to lose to them (or anybody else).

 

I'm not rooting for us to lose - I'm just pretty apathetic at this point about continuing to drag the Herman saga out. I'll take a Baylor loss if it means we aren't sweating beating the Kansas and ISUs of the world next season. 

9 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

F Baylor and anybody who roots for us to lose to them (or anybody else).

 

I can never see myself rooting for the Longhorns to lose.

I can absolutely see myself being happy that they did. 

3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I'm not rooting for us to lose - I'm just pretty apathetic at this point about continuing to drag the Herman saga out. I'll take a Baylor loss if it means we aren't sweating beating the Kansas and ISUs of the world next season. 

It's like being down 3-0 after 2 months in the NBA bubble. I'm not rooting to lose, but the thought that I'll get to go home and see my kids has crossed my mind.

  • Popular Post

I see it as a no lose situation

Texas wins, fuck ya! Go fuck yourselves Baylor!

Texas loses, fuck ya! Go fuck yourself Herman!

3 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

I can never see myself rooting for the Longhorns to lose.

I can absolutely see myself being happy that they did. 

Thanks. That's the sentiment I was looking for.

Heres that full IT note

Spoiler

Recently in a post we mentioned how the signal to noise ratio gets worse the further we get from the embryonic stages of a possible coaching search. As the potential story grows, it tends to take on a life of its own.

We thought we’d offer a good example. Yesterday Gerry called me after hearing Brian Kelly’s name being floated. We laughed. I mentioned he very likely has a large buyout. Even with a small buyout....Brian Kelly? That doesn’t compute.

Then later in the day, I heard Kelly’s name as well, from an entirely different source in an entirely different part of the state.

Most of you are probably fuming at the mention of Kelly and won’t stop to understand it’s BS. The ‘who’ isn’t as important as the ‘why?’ Why are we hearing his name, on the same day, a few hours apart, from two entirely different parts of the state?

That’s fun to speculate. We know if Texas is to make a serious run at Urban Meyer, it would love to generate some sort of leverage, but that seems risky for obvious reasons and maybe not obvious reasons. He could just say, “cool, I’ll take Notre Dame.”

It’s hard to track down the genesis of this rumor, but it appears to be stemming from the outer reaches of the O&G donor group.

Misdirection (that’s when you’re expected to go one direction, but go in another, Tom), imo.

 

I hate to break it to y'all, but we've already lost.

  • Popular Post
2 hours ago, Mo Horn said:

I messaged the best man in our wedding, who is a Baylor grad, and asked him to make sure that they won this weekend so we could go ahead and fire Herman. He said it was a done deal. 

Thoughts and prayers to the bridesmaids in your wedding. Hope they made it out safe. 

7 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

I see it as a no lose situation

Texas wins, fuck ya! Go fuck yourselves Baylor!

Texas loses, fuck ya! Go fuck yourself Herman!

Against OU, before the comeback, I was so pissed, but at the same time kind of excited, 'cos "this is what they need to get Herman out the door, man!"

When Sam started leading the comeback, and you could kinda feel it coming, I remember saying to myself something similar to, "Oh great, now I gotta cheer for a comeback!" I wasn't going to cheer for them to lose (I was screaming for them to win), but I was almost upset that they were trying to ruin my fantasies. 

Weird feeling. 

Edited by UncleBuck

9 minutes ago, Bevo said:

I hate to break it to y'all, but we've already lost.

Look man. You can't expect to lose to Baylor every year. Losing to Baylor is really, really hard.

12 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

“cool, I’ll take Notre Dame.”

Which means we would be getting Brian Kelly.... this is not difficult to understand despite some people's best efforts. 


Herman will be a head coach at a P5 immediately after getting dismissed from Texas.
In normal pre apocalypse times maybe, but many coaches who would otherwise get shitcanned will get a rona pass this year, p5 jobs will be slim pickins.
1 hour ago, Tex-19 said:

Yeah he's not going to turn us down just because there's a long shot we hire Kelly instead and then hope ND wants him as a replacement.

His comments about looking at rosters are interesting though if he's thinking about us vs USC or others. Have to think we look pretty good there especially at the most important position (QB) even before Ewers.

And I can't imagine a new coach has ever walked into a job with an outstanding commitment from the #1 prospect in the next class..

If that's the case, our shit OL situation may be harmful.  But, we got the portal.

I’ve already said it, but Baylor has had all of 3 days to practice for this game. Texas has had 2 weeks. Add on top of that fact that Baylor sucks this year. 
 

Herman is a shitty coach. But he’s not shitty enough to lose to a terrible team with 3 days of practice. Anyone hoping for a loss will be sad on Saturday. You’ll get a 52 yard Dicker FG to win it as time expires, Herman and the Texas team erupting into jubilation like they accomplished something, and a @Michael Knight thread after calling the win & Herman’s coaching ability amazing, and like it. 

Just now, Helobious said:

I’ve already said it, but Baylor has had all of 3 days to practice for this game. Texas has had 2 weeks. Add on top of that fact that Baylor sucks this year. 
 

Herman is a shitty coach. But he’s not shitty enough to lose to a terrible team with 3 days of practice. Anyone hoping for a loss will be sad on Saturday. You’ll get a 52 yard Dicker FG to win it as time expires, Herman and the Texas team erupting into jubilation like they accomplished something, and a @Michael Knight thread after calling the win & Herman’s coaching ability amazing, and like it. 

get out GIF

42 minutes ago, Ricky Butler said:

It's like being down 3-0 after 2 months in the NBA bubble. I'm not rooting to lose, but the thought that I'll get to go home and see my kids has crossed my mind.

Which team do you play for? 

15 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I’ve already said it, but Baylor has had all of 3 days to practice for this game. Texas has had 2 weeks. Add on top of that fact that Baylor sucks this year. 
 

Herman is a shitty coach. But he’s not shitty enough to lose to a terrible team with 3 days of practice. Anyone hoping for a loss will be sad on Saturday. You’ll get a 52 yard Dicker FG to win it as time expires, Herman and the Texas team erupting into jubilation like they accomplished something, and a @Michael Knight thread after calling the win & Herman’s coaching ability amazing, and like it. 

doubt it schitts creek GIF by CBC

  • Popular Post
16 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I’ve already said it, but Baylor has had all of 3 days to practice for this game. Texas has had 2 weeks. Add on top of that fact that Baylor sucks this year. 
 

Herman is a shitty coach. But he’s not shitty enough to lose to a terrible team with 3 days of practice. Anyone hoping for a loss will be sad on Saturday. You’ll get a 52 yard Dicker FG to win it as time expires, Herman and the Texas team erupting into jubilation like they accomplished something, and a @Michael Knight thread after calling the win & Herman’s coaching ability amazing, and like it. 

spacer.png

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.