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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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11 minutes ago, RamjetFDO said:

They recut the Northwestern Mutual commercial with the sweaty dad mowing the yard and the annoying "DaaaaaadUH!" daughter wanting to be taken to her friend's house.

After he looks up, exasperated, she dances while looking at her phone, rather than the original teenage disgust stomp off screen.

Not really better.

Still annoying.
 

Their adman clearly has cunts for daughters. Same ones behind the readheaded little bitch that is so put out she has to be in Hawaii. I don't know what Northwest mutual does, but I guarantee I will not patronize them. 

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    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

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9 hours ago, pops said:

Their adman clearly has cunts for daughters. Same ones behind the readheaded little bitch that is so put out she has to be in Hawaii. I don't know what Northwest mutual does, but I guarantee I will not patronize them. 

Holy shit I didn't realize that's the same company. Yeah fuck both of those commercials for the same reasons. 

Looks like a low budget Face/Off.

KFC Chicken and Waffles commercial.

Is it a tiny Colonel dancing with a regular sized Mrs. Butterworth, or is it a giant Mrs. Butterworth dancing with a regular sized Colonel?

Either way. Disturbing.

And congrats to the forward thinking folks at KFC for figuring out this fried chicken waffle combo.

  • Author
On 4/6/2019 at 6:24 PM, NorthLoop said:

Holy shit I didn't realize that's the same company. Yeah fuck both of those commercials for the same reasons. 

Considering the common theme, I have to assume that there's a deliberate subtext of "your kids are ungrateful cunts - quit scrimping now in order to leave them a nice inheritance, and instead, before you die, you should spend your money mostly on yourself but in ways that your kids might also get some enjoyment out of - if they quit being an asshole long enough to appreciate you."

Probably plays pretty well with the Boomers, actually. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

On 4/7/2019 at 3:25 AM, RPM said:

Looks like a low budget Face/Off.

Travolta's cunt double.  

18 hours ago, RamjetFDO said:

KFC Chicken and Waffles commercial.

Is it a tiny Colonel dancing with a regular sized Mrs. Butterworth, or is it a giant Mrs. Butterworth dancing with a regular sized Colonel?

Either way. Disturbing.

Could you imagine the uproar if it were Aunt Jamima instead of Mrs. Buttersworth

  • Author
1 hour ago, NorthLoop said:

Boomers don't have young kids 

Obviously - hence my use of the word "subtext." 

  • Author

I really want to fire that automatic t-shirt cannon from the idiotic State Farm "guacamole-making mascot goes berserk when Jump Around comes on the TV" commercial. 

Evidently every Chick Fil-A employee missed his/her calling as a first responder. Need a ride to Chick-Fil-A? Sure. Round up your 12 kids and I’ll be by in a jiff. Need rescuing after a hurricane? No problem. We’ll parachute Chick Fil-A to your rooftop

 

This may have been nominated, but I am currently and permanently disgusted by the girly singer covering "The Times They Are A-Changin'".  I'm not sure if Bob Dylan maintains the rights to that song, but if he licensed it to WGU for that commercial he should have his Nobel prize revoked just because.

On 4/8/2019 at 1:03 PM, Trey3216 said:

Could you imagine the uproar if it were Aunt Jamima instead of Mrs. Buttersworth

*Jemima

This galaxy commercial with all of the mongoloid strangers charging each other's phones. 

1 hour ago, Goo Punch said:

This galaxy commercial with all of the mongoloid strangers charging each other's phones. 

Ha. They do always have to be hipster stereotypes studying (I’m guess they’re all going to doctor school) in a coffee shop.  You want to know what’s better than freely leaching off strangers? Being prepared, charging you own damn phone and not having to panhandle electrons from a stranger. 

 

Reminds me of one of the phone commercials from a few years ago where you could point phones at each other and “beam” data from one another in a few seconds. And how did they present this magical teleporter of information on the commercial?  You got it..... two hipster millennials beaming “play lists” to each other. What’s more important in life than beaming a list of songs that your friend likes to your phone?  I’ve so much time to kill that I want to spend it seeing in what order my friend likes to listen to his music.  I’m going to guess they aren’t  actually beaming mp3 files because that would be piracy. So if I’m fortunate to have spent 1.29 per song on the same songs my friend bought I can actually listen to his playlist.  It’s a great time to be alive my friends. 

 

Edited by Lhorn

1 hour ago, Lhorn said:

 

Reminds me of one of the phone commercials from a few years ago where you could point phones at each other and “beam” data from one another in a few seconds. And how did they present this magical teleporter of information on the commercial?  You got it..... two hipster millennials beaming “play lists” to each other. What’s more important in life than beaming a list of songs that your friend likes to your phone?  I’ve so much time to kill that I want to spend it seeing in what order my friend likes to listen to his music.  I’m going to guess they aren’t  actually beaming mp3 files because that would be piracy. So if I’m fortunate to have spent 1.29 per song on the same songs my friend bought I can actually listen to his playlist.  It’s a great time to be alive my friends. 

 

Ha I remember that - I've also never ever once seen someone do that with their phones in the time since that commercial aired. 

21 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Ha I remember that - I've also never ever once seen someone do that with their phones in the time since that commercial aired. 

LMAO. You’re not beaming your playlists?  It’s 2019 bro. How exactly are you sharing a list of songs you like with others pray tell?  Northloop and all the other blue hairs probably sitting at a desk by candle light  with a 3 foot long peacock feather fashioned into a quill writing out his playlist  like nana did a 100 years ago. Priceless. 

Verizon. Ugh. First they run the ad that goes, "Here's why Steve chose Verizon", and the dude proceeds to tell a story of his dumb ass climbing and then falling out of a tree and then calling his wife for help. Really? That's why he chose Verizon? In case his dumb ass fell out of a tree?

Now they have some goofy ginger hipster talking about how Verizon got him front row seats to see Justin Timberlake. So that's another reason to choose Verizon? Because they give ugly hipsters tickets to concerts? Okie dokie.

On 4/18/2019 at 10:49 PM, Goo Punch said:

Now they have some goofy ginger hipster talking about how Verizon got him front row seats to see Justin Timberlake. So that's another reason to choose Verizon? Because they give ugly hipsters tickets to concerts? Okie dokie.

That dude seriously makes me want to go back to AT&T, and AT&T was the fucking worst.  

Another vote for Frank Thomas’ massive head pushing award winning Nugenix. 

“Look middle aged ladies at the gym, I can’t personally fuck you all so make sure your cuck takes these pills”

Why award did Nugenix win?  Biggest waste of money?”

Dak telling Midget Murray not to listen to the haters has me ragey. Thank God it will be gone after tonight (I hope).

I would pay an exorbitant percentage of my net worth to watch these two epic chodes beat each other to death:

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I'd rather watch Flo and Jamie's sex tape on a 24 hour loop than listen to either of these megachodes speak for fifteen seconds. Especially the TD Ameritrade guy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

6 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

Your “net worth”?

Cell phones cost a grand these days. It’s an investment. 

11 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

I would pay an exorbitant percentage of my net worth to watch these two epic chodes beat each other to death:

f6017a9054773c479c6f9caf59b3eaa9.jpg

9e0c8b337cad8cd03f63fcad4038d61c.jpg

I'd rather watch Flo and Jamie's sex tape on a 24 hour loop than listen to either of these megachodes speak for fifteen seconds. Especially the TD Ameritrade guy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The “can you hear me” guy I can handle. That other bearded lump of shit I can’t  stand. 

 

Those TD Ameritrade commercials are so pretentious (not sure if that’s the best word).  The scenario is this: he meeting with a person or couple who clearly are intelligent successful people with some assets but they are perhaps a bit undecided about what to do. Sitting down causally talking with them he is so brilliant that he knows exactly the perfect thing for them to do even though he just met them.  He doesn’t want to be paternalistic and tell them what to do so he asks them just the right question in the perfect way that he leads them to have an epiphany and figure out for themselves what he already knows. He so fucking brilliant that he’s solve one of the biggest problems of your life without knowing jack shit about you. But he cool as hell so he lets you think you figured it out for yourself.  Yeah right

Fuck that asshole. 

Edited by Lhorn

That kind of ad doesn’t bother me, it’s the stupid shit that makes no sense like the current Wendy’s spot about the Biggie Bag.  Some tool is sitting on a bus stop bench with a Wendy’s bag wide open and so neatly creased you’d think it just came back from the cleaners.  It goes back to the KFC ads where a family of four are sitting at the kitchen table with a plate full of bird and sides, yet the bucket is still full and sides look like they haven’t been touched. 

Radio spot - Camry

"Billy, is that your mom's car?" 

"Yeah..... it's pretty lit"

 

fucking rage. 

Dak Prescott encouraging the first pick in the draft to ignore the doubters. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Edited by DougO

On 4/25/2019 at 6:42 PM, RPM said:

Dak telling Midget Murray not to listen to the haters has me ragey. Thank God it will be gone after tonight (I hope).

And this.

Ignore the "benefit of the doubters" would be more like it.

Mtailor commercial. I don't even know what is being advertised because of the chick talking.

Jaclyn Kelly Shaw

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2 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Radio spot - Camry

"Billy, is that your mom's car?" 

"Yeah..... it's pretty lit"

 

fucking rage. 

There is a TV commercial for it, too.

 

As someone who drove a Camry years ago, there is nothing lit about it.

43 minutes ago, F250 said:

Mtailor commercial. I don't even know what is being advertised because of the chick talking.

Jaclyn Kelly Shaw

MV5BNjA0OWU0ODQtYjIyNi00ZWEyLWFhMWItY2U2

The perfect solution for her would be going on a date with me and letting those sweater puppies breathe afterwards.

On 4/18/2019 at 10:49 PM, Goo Punch said:

Verizon. Ugh. First they run the ad that goes, "Here's why Steve chose Verizon", and the dude proceeds to tell a story of his dumb ass climbing and then falling out of a tree and then calling his wife for help. Really? That's why he chose Verizon? In case his dumb ass fell out of a tree?

This one is especially heinous. I BROKE MY PELVIS.

The fuck does that have to do with a cell phone carrier..

There is a TV commercial for it, too.

 

As someone who drove a Camry years ago, there is nothing lit about it.

I don't even understand the angle they're taking. I thought Camry drivers had accepted that their car was for commuting and nothing else. Are there people out there who buy Camrys for status or because they love cars or to take to a car show?

 

Actually now that I think about it, a guy I used to work with made the comment that the new Camry looked 'badass', so maybe there are.

Watched the draft for the last two days and had forgotten how much I hate the State Farm commercials with Aaron Rodgers. 

15 hours ago, Underdog said:

That kind of ad doesn’t bother me, it’s the stupid shit that makes no sense like the current Wendy’s spot about the Biggie Bag.  Some tool is sitting on a bus stop bench with a Wendy’s bag wide open and so neatly creased you’d think it just came back from the cleaners.  It goes back to the KFC ads where a family of four are sitting at the kitchen table with a plate full of bird and sides, yet the bucket is still full and sides look like they haven’t been touched. 

The Wendy’s one feels like it’s missing a punch line or scene. 

Why is The Penguin even there?

6 hours ago, Okie State said:

I don't even understand the angle they're taking. I thought Camry drivers had accepted that their car was for commuting and nothing else. Are there people out there who buy Camrys for status or because they love cars or to take to a car show?

 

Actually now that I think about it, a guy I used to work with made the comment that the new Camry looked 'badass', so maybe there are.

It’s the way of the world. People need other people to blow smoke up their ass and tell them how awesome they are even when they clearly aren’t.

Camerys are a compromise car but we need to be believe how luxurious and sporty they are. 

mazda and Honda do the same thing with their mini vans. “Sure it’s a minivan but it has the heart of a sports car.”  Yeah right.... in the real world you say that you’d get laughed at. And you should expect to and you should appreciate the honesty o the person laughing at you because they are right. 

 

Theres a Honda commercial running right now for the Pilot I believe with a Honda sponsored race car driver telling how sporty it is.  No, it’s not.  I have that very vehicle.  There is nothing sporty about the way it handles or accelerates.  Zero.  Compared to a 89 Suburban -maybe.  COmpared to clapped out 92 Accord with 278 thousand Miles on it - the accord is far sportier.  

Fat chicks with guts and lumpy asses in bathing suits are told the same thing by the media. “You look good!”  no, you don’t. 

 

Its so fucking stupid that we can’t accept reality

Edited by Lhorn

4 hours ago, Mo Horn said:

Watched the draft for the last two days and had forgotten how much I hate the State Farm commercials with Aaron Rodgers. 

The guy seems more plausible as Mike McCarthy's agent than Rodgers.

"When their son moved home they thought he'd be a little more motivated to find a job."

*this grown ass man's phone buzzes at the dinner table and baby boomer dad angrily and disapprovingly grabs it*

"turns out they were right."

 

go fuck yourself. 

On 4/27/2019 at 2:00 PM, Lhorn said:

Fat chicks with guts and lumpy asses in bathing suits are told the same thing by Vic Mackey. “You look good!”  no, you don’t. 

 

fify

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