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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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I really dont understand the tik tok commercials.    I mean, I understand the commercial itself, but I am so confused why they would be spending money to advertise in the US...  not getting political, but there is a real solid chance they are going to be banned from operating in the US due to political concerns. 
plus  despite the political shit... the god damned commercial with its horrible song actually fucking suck.

I didn’t mention this ad because I only see it on the NBC app but yeah the song is terrible.
I think they are advertising in an attempt to quickly gain users and avoid getting axed in the US.

I’ll be honest I am not a social media guy and didnt know what Tic Tok’s niche was but from the commercial I gather it’s a great place for people who like to dress in drag. NTTAWWT
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  • Dennis Taylor
    Dennis Taylor

    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

  • man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

  • Jameslaw121
    Jameslaw121

    The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

Posted Images

One of my deals is that I absolutely HATE jingles.  Don't even get me started on Christmas ads when the original lyrics are replaced with ad lines.

Anyway, one of the worst is when you get stuck binging a show or watching many hours of the same broadcast - i.e. The Olympics or bowl season.  You sometimes get stuck with the same ads over and over.  Right now I'm watching the TDF and have run into the following two at least 100 times.

 

The Nissan Sentra ad that  keeps fucking playing during football that has decided to go hyper-woke with a supposed "boss" telling his female underling hes gonna hold off on promoting her "this quarter"   and the ad then tells us how empowered women should jump in a sentra driven by a strange female to go on a joyride and be reminded of their power to tell the boss they arent taking no for an answer on the promotion.

 

the whole fucking ad is woke nonsense.   

 

14 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

the whole almost every fucking ad is woke nonsense.   

 

 

fifm

"forget about the Joneses, we all on our telephoneses."

man, can't get enough of seeing this + the "first president george rockington" geico commercial every single commercial break on ESPN. 

On 8/26/2020 at 7:06 PM, shadow_operative said:

Expired. Expired. Expired.

 

Also, are those really stereotypes of aunts? that they go through your fridge and tell you not to slouch? geico is just the Mariano Rivera of bad commercials. 

It's crazy, I actually have aunts that aren't fat.

But seriously, whose aunt actually nags them and makes passive aggressive comments?? Grandma's sure, but is that a thing? 

5 hours ago, PittsburghTiger said:

The You Can Go Your Own Way phone commercials. Fuck you Fleetwood Mac for selling out.

I sold out long before you ever heard my name
I sold my soul to make a record
Dip shit
And you bought one
1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:
I sold out long before you ever heard my name
I sold my soul to make a record
Dip shit
And you bought one

You people out there give us something more than just record sales
You give us something to hate
And we hate you, you brainless mutants

Hate [16x]

You hunched and blinded mutants
Living in chat rooms
You masturbate on the sheets
Your mothers clean for you
 
You have lined my pockets
Overflowed with gold
You're living with your parents
And you're 35 years old

You're a bunch of banks
That I'd like to rob
You're my online cash transaction
You're my future stocks

Transfer you like money
To a Swiss account
Spend you on an impulse buy
And zero you all out
...

 

Fucking commercials for fucking TikTok.

What the fucking fuck?

But I bet they're better than 99% of the content there.

On 9/18/2020 at 5:30 PM, aggie08 said:

It's crazy, I actually have aunts that aren't fat.

But seriously, whose aunt actually nags them and makes passive aggressive comments?? Grandma's sure, but is that a thing? 

I think it may be a northeast thing.

The run it into the ground strategy makes the commercial annoying, but Aunt Joanie Candy at the end is a nice touch.  And I love annoying with "Ex-pie-yurd, ex--pie-yurd, ex-pie-yurd..."

 

Another overplayed ad that should piss me off but doesn't is the one where Grandpa Watts set up a Subway shop in the shed.  "You come here EVERY DAY!" still cracks me up.

Edited by clapclapclap

I know it’s been happening for several years, but good God with the emo dude/female slow remakes of great classic rock songs in every other commercial.  Get fucked people.  

I know it's been mentioned here multiple times, but I wouldn't shop at Mr. "I'm a veteran and veterans are always welcome"'s car dealership if he were giving the cars away for free. Fuck that guy and his constant idiotic screaming. 

  • Author

I've said it before, but fuck that meathead Marine with the deep voice and the pocket dog peddling insurance or whatever. 

And on the opposite end of the forceful voice spectrum, also fuck all the Brian Cox McDonald's commercials where he just kind of mumbles "ba-da-bap-ba-baa." 

Heard a radio spot earlier today for Progressive, Sounds of the Old World, then you hear a Hostess calling out for a party of 4.  I thought it was clever and funny.  

4 hours ago, Underdog said:

Heard a radio spot earlier today for Progressive, Sounds of the Old World, then you hear a Hostess calling out for a party of 4.  I thought it was clever and funny.  

What thread do you think you are in?

17 hours ago, Red Five said:

I know it's been mentioned here multiple times, but I wouldn't shop at Mr. "I'm a veteran and veterans are always welcome"'s car dealership if he were giving the cars away for free. Fuck that guy and his constant idiotic screaming. 

This times a million and 1.

Fuck that screaming fucker.

So Allstate will help you steal other's laundry,  tablecloths, and destroying a florist's work?

 

Edited by clapclapclap
Selfish bed burrito

I mentioned it in the Tech game thread, but really... Who says "Whopper Sandwich" when referring to Burger King's signature product?

Just the fact that they somehow know exactly when my ass hits a cushion (especially if I'm holding food!) And that is the very second they cut to fucking commercials. And the remote is invariably on the other side of the room. Or in a different one entirely. 

  • Author

Goh! Foyt! Goh! 

Goh! Foyt! Goh! 

Fuck you, GMC. 

Edit: I guess it's "Goh! Boy! Goh!" and not "foyt" but my position remains the same. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Goatass

Just the fact that they somehow know exactly when my ass hits a cushion (especially if I'm holding food!) And that is the very second they cut to fucking commercials. And the remote is invariably on the other side of the room. Or in a different one entirely. 

Doesn’t matter. If you’re eating then every channel will also be showing commercials.

The ATT 5G commercial where the cute chick is answering questions from what looks like TJ Ford wearing a mask (no Katfid)..... unless I’m mistaken the punch line of the commercial seems to be that because he’s wearing a mask she can’t tell if he’s saying “big” or “bigger.” HILARIOUS

13 hours ago, Lhorn said:

The ATT 5G commercial where the cute chick is answering questions from what looks like TJ Ford wearing a mask (no Katfid)..... unless I’m mistaken the punch line of the commercial seems to be that because he’s wearing a mask she can’t tell if he’s saying “big” or “bigger.” HILARIOUS

I love Lily but her ass is huge.

On 9/23/2020 at 8:33 PM, Underdog said:

Heard a radio spot earlier today for Progressive, Sounds of the Old World, then you hear a Hostess calling out for a party of 4.  I thought it was clever and funny.  

The Progressive commercials with the Dr trying to help people not become their parents are great, too.

Only went back a couple pages but there is NO way "Go to your skippy place" hasnt been mentioned?!!?!?!  If you follow that up with "things are gett'n clearer, clearer", I might just eat a bullet.  

No mention of the Dave & Buster “perfect” ad? That has to be the most annoying TV in the history of the world. I’m convinced they designed it to annoy, not to sell the product.

I know I'm "doing it wrong" by posting this, but I actually like the Uber Eats commercials with Mark Hamill and Patrick Stewart. 

On 9/29/2020 at 7:28 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

I love Lily but her ass is huge.

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin', that's what I said...

Edited by Deej

On 9/28/2020 at 6:15 PM, Lhorn said:

The ATT 5G commercial where the cute chick is answering questions from what looks like TJ Ford wearing a mask (no Katfid)..... unless I’m mistaken the punch line of the commercial seems to be that because he’s wearing a mask she can’t tell if he’s saying “big” or “bigger.” HILARIOUS

He's talking about her tits.

5 minutes ago, Deej said:

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin', that's what I said...

I saw her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day. You know what I mean.

On 9/24/2020 at 7:41 PM, clapclapclap said:

So Allstate will help you steal other's laundry,  tablecloths, and destroying a florist's work?

 

Still the worst commercial of the year, but I did chuckle at:

"Do not attempt"

20200918_AllstateRoll_3x2.jpg

The seasonal return of the goofy bitch that turns into a cat. Like it was so awesome last year, or some shit.

Chipotle's love letter to their carne asada ending with the employee/actor calling it "bomb steak." Stop it, Chipotle. You're not hip; you're Subway for "Mexican" food. When I have a 2 for 1 coupon, and I feel like digesting the 17th best burrito within a mile of my house, I'll let you know.

15 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Still the worst commercial of the year, but I did chuckle at:

"Do not attempt"

20200918_AllstateRoll_3x2.jpg

lol, same here.

"This is the feeling of total protection."

do not attempt

Why is Clayton Kershaw chasing down a home-run ball? Shouldn't the outfielder be doing that? And why does he drive three separate cars to get to the little league field?

  • Author

I am getting really tired of how every third advertisement seems to gratuitously include the word "squad." 

Trying to watch Grizzly Adams this morning and got ambushed by a commercial masquerading as a 7-and-a-half minute talk show. They want me to sue the manufacturers of talcum powder.

I've never used talcum powder in my life.

Fifteen minutes later, a different idiot wants me to sue the boy scouts for molesting me. 

I was never a boy scout.

 

On 9/28/2020 at 6:15 PM, Lhorn said:

The ATT 5G commercial where the cute chick is answering questions from what looks like TJ Ford wearing a mask (no Katfid)..... unless I’m mistaken the punch line of the commercial seems to be that because he’s wearing a mask she can’t tell if he’s saying “big” or “bigger.” HILARIOUS

I just completely fail to understand the point of that commercial.  

I just completely fail to understand the point of that commercial.  
Virtue Signaling.

That's all.
  • Author

"Shemar - let's do this!" 

[Generic CBS UberCop protagonist designed in a laboratory to frighten old white people makes an awkward muscle pose while walking] 

Garlique brand garlic is still around?

My 6-year-old self thought that name hilarious whenever Larry King would shill for it.

9 hours ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Garlique brand garlic is still around?

My 6-year-old self thought that name hilarious whenever Larry King would shill for it.

"I didn't say GARLIC, I said GAR-LEEK!"

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