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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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On 12/5/2020 at 1:09 PM, Underdog said:

Fucking Uber Eats had a good thing going with Hamill/Stewart, now they're cramming Simone and Whateverthefuckthatis down our throats. 

Looks like they bailed from that and went back to Hamill/Stewart. Good call.

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  • Dennis Taylor
    Dennis Taylor

    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

  • man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

  • Jameslaw121
    Jameslaw121

    The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

Posted Images

I must admit "Hey Hamlin,  I like your PJs" and his reaction make me snicker every time 

Das ist gut.

2 hours ago, Party_Taco said:

 

A heads up would be nice. Having to use my shirt sleeve to wipe my eyes.

seriously? y'all are all teary eyed over that crap? that ad was hokey, and terrible, and everything that sucks about holiday commercials. 

Edited by shadow_operative

1 hour ago, shadow_operative said:

seriously? y'all are all teary eyed over that crap? that ad was hokey, and terrible, and everything that sucks about holiday commercials. 

Well, for me I have a 17 month old granddaughter, daughter and SIL who I will not get to see this Christmas because of concerns about of Covid. The granddaughter, my first grandchild, is getting to the age of recognizing things and enjoying things. I was really looking forward to her seeing the tree and house all decorated.

1 hour ago, shadow_operative said:

seriously? y'all are all teary eyed over that crap? that ad was hokey, and terrible, and everything that sucks about holiday commercials. 

That def didn’t do it for me. There was one last year that had me crying like a little bitch though, just lost my last grandparent though so it hit hard. 
 

 

fair enough. i suppose if the commercial actually does hit home for you then i can see why you'd like it. but as a general rule i really can't stand 9/10 commercials where the only goal is to tug at your heart strings. 

The geico ad where the people have irish dancers or whatever above them is particularly annoying.

10 hours ago, Snacks said:

So....apparently, Disney is trying to be diverse, and they've come up with this movie called "Soul."

As only Disney would do with their first "black" movie, it seems two of the primary characters are ghosts.

I'll let you connect the dots.

 

9 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Walt Disney sees dead black people?

 

9 hours ago, After irth said:

So...spooks?

 

Im gonna go with the only 2 white voices are the ghosts?

Clue:

Spoiler

What color are ghosts?

 

So...spooks?
Ding.

I wish I could break up Disney... Star Wars as its own service would be legit... But Hulu + ESPN + all the content is worth ignoring the historic anti-blackness of Disney cartoons.
15 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

fair enough. i suppose if the commercial actually does hit home for you then i can see why you'd like it. but as a general rule i really can't stand 9/10 commercials where the only goal is to tug at your heart strings. 

Is your last name Scrooge?

18 hours ago, hundredTT said:

That def didn’t do it for me. There was one last year that had me crying like a little bitch though, just lost my last grandparent though so it hit hard. 
 

 

I've got to stop watching these gdamn things in public.

if Geico HQ burned to the ground, and everyone died, and they didn't have enough money to make any more commercials, i would be so happy. 

9 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

if Geico HQ burned to the ground, and everyone died, and they didn't have enough money to make any more commercials, i would be so happy. 

Progressive first.

10 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

if Geico HQ burned to the ground, and everyone died, and they didn't have enough money to make any more commercials, i would be so happy. 

Liberty mutual gets the first spot in that line

37 minutes ago, Longhornstampede said:

Liberty mutual gets the first spot in that line

Emu BBQ!

1 hour ago, Longhornstampede said:

Liberty mutual gets the first spot in that line

But you LOVED Brad!

 

And then you totalled him. 

When I was a kid there was a show called "wildest police chases". Hosted by some retired sheriff, who was no doubt an asshole. I even remember his voice just sounded like an asshole, but I digress.

Occasionally they would show a guy on a motorcycle making a run for it. As I recall, it never ended well for the guy on the motorcycle.

In my fantasy, it's one of those stupid motaurs. It flies by doing about 130 mph erratically as shit, crashes into a semi hauling gasoline, and bursts into flames. This isn't gonna end well for the motaur.

14 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

 

The only thing they left out was the annoying fake English accent for the VoiceOver. Other than that spot on.

Digging the girl in the State Farm butcher commercial.  

Are you sure you aren’t talking about the “girl” delivery pizza to Jake?
  • Author
On 12/15/2020 at 10:44 AM, Deamerxt said:

When I was a kid there was a show called "wildest police chases". Hosted by some retired sheriff, who was no doubt an asshole. I even remember his voice just sounded like an asshole, but I digress.

Occasionally they would show a guy on a motorcycle making a run for it. As I recall, it never ended well for the guy on the motorcycle.

In my fantasy, it's one of those stupid motaurs. It flies by doing about 130 mph erratically as shit, crashes into a semi hauling gasoline, and bursts into flames. This isn't gonna end well for the motaur.

Sheriff John Bunnell - face like an asshole, too. 

Flo & co. from Progressive should be stir fried and then dumped into the ocean, but their more recent "becoming your parents" series cracks me up. 

 

20201216_222203.jpg

fair enough. i suppose if the commercial actually does hit home for you then i can see why you'd like it. but as a general rule i really can't stand 9/10 commercials where the only goal is to tug at your heart strings. 

My thought exactly. Some dip shit advertiser thinks they are going to manipulate my emotions with some melodramatic 30 second horse shit commercial to sell phone service or cola? GTFO. If someone buys that hamfisted crap then they are a simpleton. Present company excluded naturally.
9 hours ago, Lhorn said:


My thought exactly. Some dip shit advertiser thinks they are going to manipulate my emotions with some melodramatic 30 second horse shit commercial to sell phone service or cola? GTFO. If someone buys that hamfisted crap then they are a simpleton. Present company excluded naturally.

 

9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

but their more recent "becoming your parents" series cracks me up. 

 

Maybe it's because I'm in my late 30's and right in the sweet spot age for those, but fuck I laugh every. single. time. Those commercials hit hard. Really hard. 

 

"Who else reads books about submarines?" .... "my dad" 

On 12/12/2020 at 7:56 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

I don't like the commercial but the blonde that gets the Bernese puppy in the GMC commercial would get it

image.png.a8f5230b23349547f6c44e0d9a579d9b.png

17 minutes ago, TPCJ007 said:

image.png.a8f5230b23349547f6c44e0d9a579d9b.png

So there's sweater puppies in that commercial too...I think she looks better as a blonde but smokeshow either way 

8 hours ago, Underdog said:

[stupid]Change of plans.[/accent]

 

The Macy’s fragrance commercials with Johnny Depp and the other one with Lenny Kravitz are fucking awful.  Is Depp digging a grave in the desert to bury some chick who pissed him off?

33 minutes ago, PittsburghTiger said:

The Macy’s fragrance commercials with Johnny Depp and the other one with Lenny Kravitz are fucking awful.  Is Depp digging a grave in the desert to bury some chick who pissed him off?

All perfume commercials have been absolutely weird and total shit for upwards of 50 years.

lest ye forget:

 

from 1992:

 

Eddie Murphy made hella fun of those perfume commercials it in Boomerang (also 1992)...

 

and finally the only perfume commercial worth a damn was done this year by Andrew Cotter.... you must have the sound on for it to make any sense at all

 

 

In the past week I have seen "family" and "holiday" both used as verbs in commercials.

We need another flood.

In the past week I have seen "family" and "holiday" both used as verbs in commercials.
We need another flood.

This is how you Santa.

New Jake from State Farm invaded Hyundai commercials... and they made him into a smary know it all bitch

also rising real high on the list... the new hyper-woke Best Buy annimated commercials. 

 

I dont give a shit about the views presented, but its total bullshit wokeness to act like they give a shit and are hip to the world now.... which is hilarous because their entire store philosophy for 25 years is to fuck the consumer for max cash. 

also rising real high on the list... the new hyper-woke Best Buy annimated commercials. 
 
I dont give a shit about the views presented, but its total bullshit wokeness to act like they give a shit and are hip to the world now.... which is hilarous because their entire store philosophy for 25 years is to fuck the consumer for max cash. 

We could have a great discussion on the duality of corporate philanthropy efforts in the Cloak Room.

google can go fuck itself for its latest completely asinine ad. it's basically a reminder of how shitty 2020 has been mixed with some phony message about all of us uniting as one. what that happened to do with google, i have no fucking idea. and why google needs to advertise in the first place, again, i have no idea.

5 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

google can go fuck itself for its latest completely asinine ad. it's basically a reminder of how shitty 2020 has been mixed with some phony message about all of us uniting as one. what that happened to do with google, i have no fucking idea. and why google needs to advertise in the first place, again, i have no idea.

Completely agree.  I actually said, "Fuck off Google" out loud, then had to explain myself to my wife, who was in the other room.

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