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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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  • Dennis Taylor
    Dennis Taylor

    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

  • man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

  • Jameslaw121
    Jameslaw121

    The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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Tide cold call commercial.

Tho I did chuckle when he said, “Because Stone Cold said so”

On 4/25/2021 at 11:17 PM, closetohumping said:

That Ashton/Mila Kunis Cheeto's commercial is cringey.  I mean horrible.  How bad do they need money?

I assumed that they're doing the trendy "producing commercials' thing like Ryan Reynolds, just with much less talent.

Mother's day ads are the worst. I was just told that all mothers need diamonds, because "they are the most extraordinary part of every family". Every year we're instructed to buy moms diamonds and Mercedes. 

The contrast with father's day is always funny. "I don't know, get him a tie or something. Doesn't really matter." 

Mothers get diamonds, dads get yard tools.

34 minutes ago, Underdog said:

spacer.png

The last one he'll ever get   

I know I’ve said it on this thread, but it can’t be stressed enough.   Fuck every last one of. these commercials that have doorbells ringing in them.   My dog jumps up in a fit of rage every. single. time.   Sucks ass when the baby is asleep and a stupid ass commercial with a doorbell prompts my dog to wake her up.  

I have defended the Liberty Mutual commercials here, but the Wet Teddy Bears one is just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen.  

I just have no idea what sort of person could think that was a good idea.

  • Author
18 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I have defended the Liberty Mutual commercials here, but the Wet Teddy Bears one is just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen.  

I just have no idea what sort of person could think that was a good idea.

I wouldn't argue with anyone who hates it, but I think that it's funny in an absurdist, Dada-esque way. That said, who looks for (or is enticed by) an avant garde insurance company? 

And it's probably the best example of an "only funny the first time" commercial that comes to mind. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

I know I’ve said it on this thread, but it can’t be stressed enough.   Fuck every last one of. these commercials that have doorbells ringing in them.   My dog jumps up in a fit of rage every. single. time.   Sucks ass when the baby is asleep and a stupid ass commercial with a doorbell prompts my dog to wake her up.  

Siren in a radio ad

YouTube commercial for “Gita”. I keep hoping a semi will blow through an intersection and crush that damn thing. 

This commercial needs to be shot by a firing line, burned, chopped up and mixed with the meth enjoyed by sooner fans everywhere

https://youtu.be/BbQBBWGGX9Y

Edited by JSB

The broke dick commercial they're playing every single commercial break during espns draft coverage is pretty annoying 

Every fucking one of the Amazon Prime Pantry freeze frame commercials. Who ever came up with this needs to be run over by a gas truck and taste their own blood. dmfd

 Ok I'm digging the Brad Garrett "Jimmy's John's" campaign.  Pretty damn funny, this kinda rolls several of then together 

 

  • Author

I don't watch baseball often enough to recognize announcers by voice, but when I clicked past the Astros/Yankees game this evening, the Doomlet immediately (and wrongly, obviously) identified one of the announcers as Tony Bolonovich. 

I don't know who it was, but it did sound like him. 

On 4/8/2021 at 6:59 PM, Underdog said:

The swimmer for Cologuard is quite pleasing to the eye.  

Love to pork her from behind 

On 4/8/2021 at 6:59 PM, Underdog said:

The swimmer for Cologuard is quite pleasing to the eye.  

 

People marching along lugging truck tailgates chanting (poorly) the na-na hey-hey goodbye song. Fuck the ancestors of the asshole(s) who conceived of this, all the way back to Olduvai Gorge.  And fuck the product and manufacturer, which I'm proud to say I cannot even name.  I mean bravo for some dickhead designer thinking of new ways to injure and confuse consumers with a multifunctional truck tailgate, but even if it works I'm not about to take a perfectly good tailgate off my truck and put your Transformers tailgate on it, or fucking buy a truck because of the tailgate, much less walk around with it in my arms chanting Steam's only hit! No sir, I don't like it.

 

 

Those "Anything you can do, I can do better" Gatorade commercials can die in a fire.

 
does that crap actually work?
 

It’s decent at several things.

I must have seen Erin and Margo and their goddamn drugs about a billion times this morning.

I'm starting to hope they both lose their hands and feet in some freak meat grinder accident.

"Your mom is a special lady and you promised her a video call on her special day."   I actually dislike all ATT's commercials showing cable internet preventing/delaying/corrupting transmissions.  I have cable internet and it is many, many times faster than the only ATT product available to me (DSL) and many people.  Most of us don't live in a gigabyte area (ATT or Google.)  This commercial grates on me anyway in that a mother would be so petty and the son so stupid he wouldn't call and explain.  I do, however, identify with the dad, making the best of the situation.

I don't have the time, nor the desire to go back through this thread to see if these to shit fuck commercials have been mentioned.  Frankly, they are so bad, they could be mentioned 20 times and it wouldn't be enough.

First, the fucking shitty Ashton Kutcher/Mila Kunis commercial is so fucking bad, I wish they would die in a fiery car crash.

The other is the Ozarka Texas/Not Texas commercial.  I base my opinion on the BBQ they present as "Texas".  It looks like turkey.  I like smoked turkey, but goddamn motherfucking shit, show some well smoked brisket for fucks sake.  Goddamnit all to hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fuck.

On 5/7/2021 at 8:37 PM, 83Horn said:

Those "Anything you can do, I can do better" Gatorade commercials can die in a fire.

Every stinking commercial break in the Texas-TCU games.

And that dunt can't even get a decent haircut.

Haven’t seen this one mentioned. But the commercial with the women singing put it in your cart to the tune of listen to your heart makes me want to rip my t.v. off the wall. 
The original song was bad enough. But now I have to listen to it remade in to an even worse tv jingle 4 or 5 times every hour....

7 hours ago, Bender Bending Rodriguez said:

The Apple commercial acting like they invented fire by introducing phones that are now magically purple. 

I can’t how vapid one would have to be to consider such thing as relevant. 

I realize this isn’t the allsome commercials thread and I’ve never had a Kinder Bueno, much less know where to acquire one, but that floating redheaded chick is sheer perfection 

Edited by mr. sunshine

Kroger and their fresh shit can eat a Bob Stoops calibre bag of dicks...and the animated characters can all die in a fucking fire....twice

32 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:


Sierra Love in the movie The Porthole exceeded my expectations

In addition to floating, she spins.

Damn son good call. 

On 3/4/2021 at 2:15 AM, RPM said:

It's not some sort of wizardry. Chime is a bank. They offer direct deposit (like 99% of all banks). You get paid 1 - 2 days early because your employer direct deposits instead of physically printing a paper check and having to sort and deliver it. If you are still cashing a paper check you have the olds. 

Nope. The reason they offer you the cash 1-2 days sooner is because your employer sends the funds to all banks 1-2 days prior to pay day and some banks, such as Chime, post the funds immediately instead of waiting 1-2 days to verify the deposit. All banks can do this but the larger ones don’t want to take a chance the funds are not going to be there or the deposit is pulled back. 
 

I normally would let something like this slide by but I’m high and felt like explaining it. Cheers!

  • Author
8 hours ago, Droopy said:

Nope. The reason they offer you the cash 1-2 days sooner is because your employer sends the funds to all banks 1-2 days prior to pay day and some banks, such as Chime, post the funds immediately instead of waiting 1-2 days to verify the deposit. All banks can do this but the larger ones don’t want to take a chance the funds are not going to be there or the deposit is pulled back. 
 

I normally would let something like this slide by but I’m high and felt like [s]explaining it[/s] chiming in. Cheers!

Fify 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Goddammit

2 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

So how long have you worked for Chime? 

Another financial institution, but know the ACH rules and a lot of other banking shit I shouldn’t. 
 

Happy banking. Spread your shit around at different banks instead of just one. Your welcome. 

Why does quicksand work so slowly?

Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

Why does "ambiguous" only have one meaning?

 

Why don't you fucking die in a fire?

Edited by Beau Vine

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