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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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2 hours ago, Scary Stranger said:

And what the fuck is the ‘most inclusive camera’ supposed to mean?

The camera, like the phone, is not mass produced technology. It's your friend who loves to take pictures of you and realizes just how special you are. It's not plastic. It's a living smart thing that cares about you and knows your ins and outs.

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  • Dennis Taylor
    Dennis Taylor

    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

  • man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

  • Jameslaw121
    Jameslaw121

    The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

Posted Images

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

Watching MNF with my dad.

"Why does anyone think Kate McKinnon is appealing in these ads?"

Shes always been an annoying cunt

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

Watching MNF with my dad.

"Why does anyone think Kate McKinnon is appealing in these ads?"

Double post dammit

Edited by Longhornstampede

Why does everyone call him “goat boy” if he’s clearly a ram? Also, it’s a boy, not a girl.

12 hours ago, Scary Stranger said:

And what the fuck is the ‘most inclusive camera’ supposed to mean?

When you take a picture it recolors everyone so there is enough diversity amongst the picture subjects

9 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Shes always been an annoying cunt

Wow. In character, she's brilliant in my opinion. 

First time I saw her was when someone sent me this:

I think she brings nice energy to the phone commercial which isn't great but compared to Verizon Has Done It Again and a thousand other commercials that make sugary grabs at my heartstrings or explain things such as dignity or tell me that I'm a fighter who gives his all into anything I do (I deserve this medication for psoriasis!!), it's way above average to me.

Different strokes, I guess. She is kind of dull as an interviewee.

Kind of like the new one I saw this last weekend (I think it is an Apple commercial) where the brother is knocking the snowmen over in his yard and the little sister goes out and saves the last one and puts it in the freezer until the next winter. She then returns it to the yard where it immediately gets run over by a prick(aren't they all) on a bicycle. 

Edited by Steamboat1874

33 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Kind of like the new one I saw this last weekend (I think it is an Apple commercial) where the brother is knocking the snowmen over in his yard and the little sister goes out and saves the last one and puts it in the freezer until the next winter. She then returns it to the yard where it immediately gets run over by a prick(aren't they all) on a bicycle. 

If they had stopped right there, it would have been one of the greatest commercials ever.  Stupidly, they had to show the family coming to together to build a new one.

On 12/8/2021 at 10:18 AM, Scary Stranger said:

If they had stopped right there, it would have been one of the greatest commercials ever.  Stupidly, they had to show the family coming to together to build a new one.

The wailing in the beginning that's part of the song is really irritating and making me hate this one. 

Anybody else see an insidious not-so-subliminal message in the stupid “the tiger and the buffalo” facebook ad? First of all, the tiger is in the process of killing the buffalo (doesn’t look like a buffalo to me at all but whatever) and then when he’s being watched by the woke mob, he starts petting the prey. Right. Then they start playing this idiotic song and all four woke idiots start hypnotically dancing to it. Basically what facebook is saying is: we are a predator but we’re gonna pretend that we’re not, and we’ll pull the wool over your eyes with our content.

Fuck facebook.

On 12/7/2021 at 12:18 AM, Longhornstampede said:

Shes always been an annoying cunt

4573EB1D-77EA-4831-BA74-2D12DE3DEAE7.gif.83305348d7af9a00e4e9ad0cff4f9e41.gif

10 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Anybody else see an insidious not-so-subliminal message in the stupid “the tiger and the buffalo” facebook ad? First of all, the tiger is in the process of killing the buffalo (doesn’t look like a buffalo to me at all but whatever) and then when he’s being watched by the woke mob, he starts petting the prey. Right. Then they start playing this idiotic song and all four woke idiots start hypnotically dancing to it. Basically what facebook is saying is: we are a predator but we’re gonna pretend that we’re not, and we’ll pull the wool over your eyes with our content.

Fuck facebook.

Yeah it’s weird as fuck. Also fuck facebook. In the face 

18 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Anybody else see an insidious not-so-subliminal message in the stupid “the tiger and the buffalo” facebook ad? First of all, the tiger is in the process of killing the buffalo (doesn’t look like a buffalo to me at all but whatever) and then when he’s being watched by the woke mob, he starts petting the prey. Right. Then they start playing this idiotic song and all four woke idiots start hypnotically dancing to it. Basically what facebook is saying is: we are a predator but we’re gonna pretend that we’re not, and we’ll pull the wool over your eyes with our content.

Fuck facebook.

Its a water buffalo. Have you got a towel? I hit one with my car

Edited by Longhornstampede

3 hours ago, XYZ said:

Anybody else see an insidious not-so-subliminal message in the stupid “the tiger and the buffalo” facebook ad? First of all, the tiger is in the process of killing the buffalo (doesn’t look like a buffalo to me at all but whatever) and then when he’s being watched by the woke mob, he starts petting the prey. Right. Then they start playing this idiotic song and all four woke idiots start hypnotically dancing to it. Basically what facebook is saying is: we are a predator but we’re gonna pretend that we’re not, and we’ll pull the wool over your eyes with our content.

Fuck facebook.

It's one of the worst commercials I've ever seen.

Any and all perfume/cologne ads.  Just saw one with Julia Roberts' dumb face.

If some milk, tea, whiskey or other liquid gets spilled on the table and it’s flowing towards your iPad the only way to save it is a Bounty paper towel. Because just picking up and moving the iPad until you can find something to wipe up the spill is apparently not a fucking option 

2 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

Because just picking up and moving the iPad until you can find something to wipe up the spill is apparently not a fucking option

What are we, farmers?

Any and all perfume/cologne ads.  Just saw one with Julia Roberts' dumb face.
... and Johnny Depp playing guitar... in the desert... with wolves.
2 hours ago, RamjetFDO said:
18 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:
Any and all perfume/cologne ads.  Just saw one with Julia Roberts' dumb face.

... and Johnny Depp playing guitar... in the desert... with wolves.

Johnny Depp is about 10 years past his expiration date. He needs to pay Hunter a visit.

Edited by RPM

Just now, RPM said:

Johnny Depp is about 10 years past his expiration date.

Julia Roberts 30.

27 minutes ago, RPM said:

Johnny Depp is about 10 years past his expiration date. He needs to pay Hunter a visit.

Before these commercials I didn’t know middle aged losers who wear eye shadow and stupid hats were anyone’s target demographic to shill cologne to. Finally there’s a scent for me

Just now, mr. sunshine said:

Before these commercials I didn’t know middle aged losers who wear eye shadow and stupid hats were anyone’s target demographic to shill cologne to. Finally there’s a scent for me

I'm a Hai Karate man.

 

48 minutes ago, RPM said:

I'm a Hai Karate man.

 

I don’t think just slapping on a little Hai Karate would do it justice. For Ms. Leon I’d consider a bull elk gland transplant 

Does anyone else think that the assistant in the Kyler Murray ad is digitally placed and reduced in size in order to make Kyler Murray look larger? The lighting on him looks off compared to everyone else and the tablet looks the right size relative to his body, but would be tiny compared to Murray.

 

 

If Murray is 5'10", then that means the assistant is 5'4", tops. But instead, his entire body is shrunk down.

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On 12/6/2021 at 7:29 PM, ztejas said:

Watching MNF with my dad.

"Why does anyone think Kate McKinnon is appealing in these ads?"

she's gotten increasingly more psychotic.

also, i can't tell if the walking around poorly in heels thing is a put on, but it clearly looks like she has no ideas how to walk in heels.

On 11/28/2021 at 4:29 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Need help from the peanut gallery to settle a household disagreement. 

In the Amazon/Alexa commercial with the older African-American couple slow dancing to "I Only Have Eyes For You" where the man tells Alexa to play their favorite song again, does the woman have dementia such that she only recognizes her husband when her memory is triggered by the song? Or is it just two old people dancing to the same song all afternoon? 

Definitely the old woman has Alzheimer’s.

On 12/13/2021 at 5:19 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

Does anyone else think that the assistant in the Kyler Murray ad is digitally placed and reduced in size in order to make Kyler Murray look larger? The lighting on him looks off compared to everyone else and the tablet looks the right size relative to his body, but would be tiny compared to Murray.

Edited by Lhorn

That’s not a tablet.  It’s an iPhone 5

 

(sorry, not sure why I couldn’t make that one post)

On 12/8/2021 at 10:18 AM, Scary Stranger said:

If they had stopped right there, it would have been one of the greatest commercials ever. 

What in the actual fuck? If my kid came in the house and started tossing shit out of my freezer and put a snowman in there, I'm not gonna just sit at the table and act powerless. I'm throwing the snowman outside and telling her to pick up the fucking mess she made. Just imagining having to deal with some dirty snowman in my freezer for a fucking year has me raging. Fuck that kid and fuck parents that act like a "friend" instead of a parent.

My dog peed on every snowman he could get to (during the week we had snow)

ok, so for the snowman in the freezer commercial, is the kid who is destroying the snowmen at the beginning of the commercial her brother?  

or is it just a random meany who hates snowmen?

On 12/16/2021 at 4:43 PM, hayden_horn said:

she's gotten increasingly more psychotic.

also, i can't tell if the walking around poorly in heels thing is a put on, but it clearly looks like she has no ideas how to walk in heels.

She stomps around like a clydesdale.

On 12/16/2021 at 4:43 PM, hayden_horn said:

she's gotten increasingly more psychotic.

also, i can't tell if the walking around poorly in heels thing is a put on, but it clearly looks like she has no ideas how to walk in heels.

Well, she's a man. 

Edited by Deej

What in the actual fuck? If my kid came in the house and started tossing shit out of my freezer and put a snowman in there, I'm not gonna just sit at the table and act powerless. I'm throwing the snowman outside and telling her to pick up the fucking mess she made. Just imagining having to deal with some dirty snowman in my freezer for a fucking year has me raging. Fuck that kid and fuck parents that act like a "friend" instead of a parent.

All of that is true. But the fact that she babies this thing and loves it and then it is immediately destroys just cracks me up.
On 12/16/2021 at 4:43 PM, hayden_horn said:

 

also, i can't tell if the walking around poorly in heels thing is a put on, but it clearly looks like she has no ideas how to walk in heels.

It's like she's constantly walking through a 4 foot doorway

A hearty "Fuck you" to whoever came up with the idea for the Carnival Cruise commercials with opera singers. 

The Sonic commercial with the three guys in a truck who want to try each other’s burgers. I’ll bet dessert involves a drive out to the woods 

  • Author
10 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

The Sonic commercial with the three guys in a truck who want to try each other’s burgers. I’ll bet dessert involves a drive out to the woods 

These new jerkoffs are a clear downgrade from the original knuckleheads. 

 

intro-1602960226.jpg

1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

These new jerkoffs are a clear downgrade from the original knuckleheads. 

 

intro-1602960226.jpg

Those guys were great. I also like the soccer moms just fine. 

There are a bunch of other dumbasses plaguing their ads that need to go away, unfortunately. 

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

These new jerkoffs are a clear downgrade from the original knuckleheads. 

 

intro-1602960226.jpg

Unlike the current Deliverance cast members these guys were entertaining. At worst guilty of failing to give a reach around

John Hamm looking rough these days on the new tear-jerker Chevrolet spot. 

8B948472-DDB5-4742-A266-B4CE26530DE7.jpeg

Came here to post about this.  I'm a classic car guy, and fuck me, the room got dusty each time I saw that commercial during the game. 

Overnight paint job and engine tune?  Yeah, no.

Dead mom? Wood.

15 hours ago, ztejas said:

Those guys were great. I also like the soccer moms just fine. 

There are a bunch of other dumbasses plaguing their ads that need to go away, unfortunately. 

 

13 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

Unlike the current Deliverance cast members these guys were entertaining. At worst guilty of failing to give a reach around

Whatever became of the snarky milf from the early Sonic add? 

On 12/19/2021 at 4:49 PM, ztejas said:

Those guys were great. I also like the soccer moms just fine. 

There are a bunch of other dumbasses plaguing their ads that need to go away, unfortunately. 

I wish they’d bring these ladies back 

24D19ED4-79A4-47DB-B83A-C8B399A663D7.jpeg.3f4d3b6383c5def713ad5d9ca12eded9.jpeg

I think they just rotate random actors for a commercial or two them move on. Keeps the salary down.

I keep hoping that it will drive someone off of the bridge

9 hours ago, PittsburghTiger said:

The GMC hands off the wheel We Will Rock You commercial is dumb as shit

We will, we will wreck you.  

On 12/18/2021 at 11:00 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

A hearty "Fuck you" to whoever came up with the idea for the Carnival Cruise commercials with opera singers. 

How is not a whole page dedicated to these commercials?!?!

Wife almost had me convinced to go until I saw this commercial, oh… every commercial break during these bowl games. Carnival can go fuck themselves. Hard pass. 

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