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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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This is catchy, but it's still weird...

 

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  • Dennis Taylor
    Dennis Taylor

    So, like an OnlyFansville? 

  • man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

  • Jameslaw121
    Jameslaw121

    The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?

a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?

my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial

I swear to God I'm boycotting Target for that, "Do you LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME?" bullshit.

I cannot stand this one. Toothpick wench spews out her breathy lies in one sing-song unpunctuated burst. You know she keeps her job because some incel slave stays late to cover for her. "How am I gonna pay my rents." Oh yeah you've got a chain of businesses that will go under if you, personally, have surgery to correct your breathy unpunctuated burst speaking. Shut up, you string bean vampiric tick.

 

Toothpick?  Are you a Vic sock?  Chick’s hot.  

Toothpick?  Are you a Vic sock?  Chick’s hot.  


Breathy voice? Big, brown eyes? Lean, tight body? I’m like a meerkat every time that commercial comes on.

Since there isn't a thread celebrating great commercials, I just stuck this one in here.  Might get dusty for some of you.

 

 

14 hours ago, Underdog said:

Toothpick?  Are you a Vic sock?  Chick’s hot.  

 

1 hour ago, Eskimohorn said:


Breathy voice? Big, brown eyes? Lean, tight body? I’m like a meerkat every time that commercial comes on.

 

 

No Matter How Hot She Is, Some Other Guy Is Already Tired of Her Imaginary Talking Duck Friend.

Saw that EJ piece on FB, very cool. 

 

Duck friend?  Howard?  

Kid has head lice, thousands of them, but the mother doesn't get pissed when he slides his head along the back of the couch. I'd have been hit, a few times.

Discovery ad showing guy practicing giving the Discovery reps a stern talking to. My god. It makes me embarrassed to be human.

Toothpick is pure smoke.

On 11/23/2018 at 6:35 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I cannot stand this one. Toothpick wench spews out her breathy lies in one sing-song unpunctuated burst. You know she keeps her job because some incel slave stays late to cover for her. "How am I gonna pay my rents." Oh yeah you've got a chain of businesses that will go under if you, personally, have surgery to correct your breathy unpunctuated burst speaking. Shut up, you string bean vampiric tick.

Hilarious rant. I actually think she has a nice voice.

It’s disappointing we don’t get more of Toothpick in/out of the pool. 

 

Speaking Toothpick, Anna Kendrick sitting poolside kinda grosses me out.  And I think she’s a doll,btw. 

On 11/24/2018 at 8:54 AM, Eskimohorn said:

 


Breathy voice? Big, brown eyes? Lean, tight body? I’m like a meerkat every time that commercial comes on.

 

Them big doe eyes. That soft honey-blonde hair. Smooth tan skin. Huge, pert rack. Long legs going up that tight butt.

I already want to murder the person that made the Target “gather round round round” song/commercial.

  • Author

The Indian dude doing the Cabbage Patch out of celebration for his $6 Big Mac meal (with or without the imagined half court shot). 

10 hours ago, immortal13 said:

Them big doe eyes. That soft honey-blonde hair. Smooth tan skin. Huge, pert rack. Long legs going up that tight butt.

Go on...   but slower, please. 

On 11/22/2018 at 10:11 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?

a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?

my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial

 it says put down the computer and get a dog.  

  • Author
On 11/24/2018 at 9:31 AM, Player said:

GMC - “I love it!” wife.

Yeah. Those two should be fed into a paper shredder. 

GMC - “I love it!” wife.
Just saw this one twice in a row. Fuck this and every car commercial during the holidays that shows newlyweds running out of their $3.5 MM house in the mountains to their brand new vehicles they gifted each other.
can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?
a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?
my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial
Not sure what it's trying to sell, but it seemed like the message was that she thought all of her work, I assume some kind of art, was shit...but other people loved it once they saw it. But yeah, don't know what that has to do with Apple products.

It may get annoying if they play it a million times, but "Give It to Me Baby" in a Walmart Christmas commercial cracked me up.

1 hour ago, Texas St. Armadillos said:

Commercials are annoying, but Jan from Toyota would get it.

I would definitely show her my Toyotathon, if you know what I mean.* 

 

*If you didn't catch my double entendre, I was comparing my erect penis to Toyotathon. Sadly, neither of them will last long.

I would definitely show her my Toyotathon, if you know what I mean.* 
 
*If you didn't catch my double entendre, I was comparing my erect penis to Toyotathon. Sadly, neither of them will last long.

My erections last the entire length of Ford Truck Month.

By my reckoning, I’ve had a perpetual boner since November of 1998.
  • Author
19 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


My erections last the entire length of Ford Truck Month.

By my reckoning, I’ve had a perpetual boner since November of 1998.

Like a rock? 

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man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Edited by Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 
I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.
And fuck that little twat of a kid doing the "floss". I told my 7 yr old he's kicked out of my house if he does that shit of a so called dance in my presence again.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

2 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Wait until you've seen it a hundred times.

the verizon commercials about "building 5g right!" are really ironic when you consider they're currently rolling out the wimax of 5g

/nerd

On 12/2/2018 at 9:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

I don't think you should hold back with what you think about that one.

On 12/2/2018 at 8:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

I was going to buy you a Christmas present, but now...

giphy.gif

On 11/5/2018 at 11:48 AM, mycox said:

I didn't think Kay Jewelers could top their stupidity over the years, but they have done it.  Guy asks the stupid 7 year kid if he can marry his mother with a minute long speech.

Ha, I saw this. That pathetic looking beta male asking the kid's permission.

Yeah, give her the ring and marry her and you'll be sitting at home watching that kid while she cucks your ass with another guy. Dumb simp. I didn't think Jared's "he went to Jared" campaign could be outdone in douchiness. Stupid fucking jeweler ads.

What’s his response if the kid says “no?” 

On 12/2/2018 at 8:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Timmay!

https://youtu.be/sWMwBiBKUy4

sunset heart hands   ........ SUNSET HEART HANDS!!!!!!!

 

fucking beta instagram boyfriend bullshit.....    fuck you taco hell

On 12/4/2018 at 12:21 PM, Escapedgoat said:

Ha, I saw this. That pathetic looking beta male asking the kid's permission.

Yeah, give her the ring and marry her and you'll be sitting at home watching that kid while she cucks your ass with another guy. Dumb simp. I didn't think Jared's "he went to Jared" campaign could be outdone in douchiness. Stupid fucking jeweler ads.

And that fucking creepy looking kid never answers him. I hate that stupid ass commercial

Each and every commercial for an unpronounceable medication with a voiceover citing multiple horrendous side effects like spontaneous skin sloughing, chronic diarrhea and bleeding from the eyes.  No thanks, I'll take my chances with the disease in question.  Thank God for the DVR.

1 hour ago, Bama Llama said:

Each and every commercial for an unpronounceable medication with a voiceover citing multiple horrendous side effects like spontaneous skin sloughing, chronic diarrhea and bleeding from the eyes.  No thanks, I'll take my chances with the disease in question.  Thank God for the DVR.

and each one of em has some trendy little logo 

On 11/25/2018 at 3:13 PM, immortal13 said:

The Amazon commercial with the singing boxes...."Can you feel it....?"

 

2 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Stop screaming at me, stupid Kate Perry (the one with the Amazon floating mouth.)  

Yep.

On 12/5/2018 at 3:47 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

sunset heart hands   ........ SUNSET HEART HANDS!!!!!!!

 

fucking beta instagram boyfriend bullshit.....    fuck you taco hell

I understand your argument, but allow me to make a counter .... she's hot as fuck.

3 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Stop screaming at me, stupid Kate Perry (the one with the Amazon floating mouth.)  

Wait.  That God-ass awful song is Katy Perry?  That brings the ad to a whole new level of suck for me.  I absolutely cannot stand her.

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