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Featured Replies

Since we are too heartless to start another thread about Jews-Palestinians hating and killing each other, I'll show this boards empathy for Gwenyth by starting a thread about her pussy smell. Article doesn't say if the album comes with a free rag.

https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/punk-band-private-function-gwyneth-paltrow-vagina/

Australian punk outfit Private Function have released a special edition of their latest record, which they say “smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina.”

The band announced the pressing on Instagram, where member Lauren Hester is seen in a lab holding the manufactured, pink vinyl. “I want you to cast your mind back to the fabulous year of 2020,” Hester commands.

“There was one news story that completely dominated the headlines: Gwyneth Paltrow released a candle that smelt like her vagina. This was potentially the greatest thing anyone had ever done,” she says coyly.

Hester explains that these candles now sell for over $700 each. The band “decided to take things into their own hands” and created the first scratch-and-sniff vinyl. Claiming that the tall order of almost a thousand dollars to smell the candle is “classist,” Hester continued: “We at Private Function think that every working-class person deserves to have access to the smell 24 hours a day.”

14 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

“We at Private Function think that every working-class person deserves to have access to the smell 24 hours a day.”

Barack Obama Thank You GIF by The Democrats

There's a good number of things in my life I'm ashamed of.  I made some bad judgments.  As a young man, I made plenty of quite foolish choices.  

One of those things is the fact that I had a MASSIVE crush on Shakespeare in Love-era Gwyneth:

n%C3%A9vtelen.JPG

I did.  There's no getting around it.  I confess, I bear my shame, and that's that.

I wish I was getting married because THIS is what all the groomsmen would be getting as gifts!

14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

There's a good number of things in my life I'm ashamed of.  I made some bad judgments.  As a young man, I made plenty of quite foolish choices.  

One of those things is the fact that I had a MASSIVE crush on Shakespeare in Love-era Gwyneth:

n%C3%A9vtelen.JPG

I did.  There's no getting around it.  I confess, I bear my shame, and that's that.

IMG_6039.thumb.jpeg.84f180a0d313c2f7a1031db9e6d663e5.jpeg

Great Expectations. 

17 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

There's a good number of things in my life I'm ashamed of.  I made some bad judgments.  As a young man, I made plenty of quite foolish choices.  

One of those things is the fact that I had a MASSIVE crush on Shakespeare in Love-era Gwyneth:

n%C3%A9vtelen.JPG

I did.  There's no getting around it.  I confess, I bear my shame, and that's that.


Same. And her mom from the MASH era. 

24 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

1823.jpg.b210d5b719433a342754a3b468104570.jpg

~ Vic

Gotta pay extra for the smell from under that fat suit. 

  • Author
53 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Gotta pay extra for the smell from under that fat suit. 

Vic, probably.

giphy.gif

IMG_7632.thumb.jpeg.5030589c93a3da7497332905626d933c.jpeg

she was really pretty in seven 🫶


I tried finding one of her vagina candles as a gag gift for a friend but no luck and fuck paying hundreds of dollars for one

8 hours ago, crash_davis said:

“We at Private Function think that every working wanking-class person deserves to have access to the smell 24 hours a day.”

I regret not buying a couple of those when they dropped. Something that is that godawful bizarre was always gonna become a collectors item. It was a no brainer. However, I guess you'd probably want to turn them over pretty quick. It would suck to die, and then have your unknowing family uncover your stash of snizz candles.

Also, this would not have been my first guess

Quote

Can’t get your hands on Gwyneth Paltrow‘s sold-out “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle? Blame Elton John.

According to Heretic perfumer Douglas Little, who along with the Goop founder created the viral votive, the 72-year-old music legend can’t get enough of the scandalous scent.

“Elton John bought a ton of them. Like a lot. Like, a lot a lot. He’s a fan,” Little told The Cut.

 

15 hours ago, South Austin said:

Gweneth Paltrow seems like marriage material if all she does is have sex and never talks.

All women seem like marriage material if all they do is have sex and never talk.

18 minutes ago, ABSR said:

All women seem like marriage material if all they do is have sex and never talk.

Quoted for emphasis on Truth.

 

ETA mind you, a decent hand in the kitchen, even if limited to sammiches and brewski delivery, would definitely be a plus.

Edited by Tex Long

I think we can all agree that she is a weirdo but objectively hot.

17 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

There's a good number of things in my life I'm ashamed of.  I made some bad judgments.  As a young man, I made plenty of quite foolish choices.  

One of those things is the fact that I had a MASSIVE crush on Shakespeare in Love-era Gwyneth:

n%C3%A9vtelen.JPG

I did.  There's no getting around it.  I confess, I bear my shame, and that's that.

and now we have an explanation for the smell.

1 hour ago, ABSR said:

All women seem like marriage material if all they do is have sex and never talk.

There are other considerations. 

House cleaning and sammich making are also critical.

The catch in all this is that every 3rd candle smells like tortilla chips and un-wiped urine.

37 minutes ago, huge said:

I think we can all agree that she is a weirdo but objectively hot.

Runs into people when skiing with her stinky vag polluting the mountain?

That's a no from me dog.

Can I just smell her daughter? That's close enough, right?

apple-martin-1-f9dc110c45c7406c8d01a72970d6c4b5.thumb.jpg.4124e74486ba03419942249cfba0bcd5.jpg

  • Author
2 hours ago, ajax said:

Can I just smell her daughter? That's close enough, right?

apple-martin-1-f9dc110c45c7406c8d01a72970d6c4b5.thumb.jpg.4124e74486ba03419942249cfba0bcd5.jpg

Finger toes. Would not bang - Some on this thread, probably

3 hours ago, ajax said:

Can I just smell her daughter? That's close enough, right?

apple-martin-1-f9dc110c45c7406c8d01a72970d6c4b5.thumb.jpg.4124e74486ba03419942249cfba0bcd5.jpg

Apple_2MB_400.gif

On 5/22/2025 at 7:25 PM, randomhorn said:

IMG_7632.thumb.jpeg.5030589c93a3da7497332905626d933c.jpeg

she was really pretty in seven 🫶


I tried finding one of her vagina candles as a gag gift for a friend but no luck and fuck paying hundreds of dollars for one


Did you ever tell him of your plan?
Gift exchanges from now on…..

spacer.png

21 hours ago, ajax said:

Can I just smell her daughter? That's close enough, right?

apple-martin-1-f9dc110c45c7406c8d01a72970d6c4b5.thumb.jpg.4124e74486ba03419942249cfba0bcd5.jpg

Finger toes, WNB. 

4 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

I did not have Elton John liking the smell of vagina on my bingo card.

It's not just any vagina smell. 

On 5/22/2025 at 4:08 PM, Brisketexan said:

There's a good number of things in my life I'm ashamed of.  I made some bad judgments.  As a young man, I made plenty of quite foolish choices.  

One of those things is the fact that I had a MASSIVE crush on Shakespeare in Love-era Gwyneth:

n%C3%A9vtelen.JPG

I did.  There's no getting around it.  I confess, I bear my shame, and that's that.

It is agreed.

 

I get Margot-era

margot-tenenbaum.png?w=2328&h=1404&crop=

On 5/22/2025 at 3:28 PM, South Austin said:

Gweneth Paltrow seems like marriage material if all she does is have sex and never talks.

She told Stern that her strategy for ending fights with her partner is to give him a blowjob at the start of the fight.

On 5/27/2025 at 12:38 PM, Gil Bang said:

She told Stern that her strategy for ending fights with her partner is to give him a blowjob at the start of the fight.

I’d be picking a lot of fights. 

On 5/27/2025 at 2:38 PM, Gil Bang said:

She told Stern that her strategy for ending fights with her partner is to give him a blowjob at the start of the fight.

db62d419-0b3c-4aa6-8649-6912d8b39ed9_tex

why sell a stupid bar of soap?  she just needs to sell her actual bath water. 

why sell a stupid bar of soap?  she just needs to sell her actual bath water. 

I’d drink that

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