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#2301

she invites me up, at twelve o’clock at night, for coffee.  and I don’t go up... ‘no thank you, I don’t want coffee, it keeps me up.’  too late for me to drink coffee.  I said this to her.  people this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live. 

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#2303

I love him fumbling with the alka-seltzer and pepto bismol through that little monologue. ^^^^^

edit: damn, got biff’d.  I’m referring to the coffee quote.

Edited by futureman

#2309
5 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

Too many people got their mail 

No body from the post office has ever cracked the 50% barrier! It's like the 3-minute mile!

#2314

You said it’d be a postman I know, and you’re a postman I know!!!

#2316

I mean, just imagine, an army of men in wool pants running around the neighborhood handing out pottery catalogs, door to door. 

#2318

Shouldn't the bucket be on your head?  

#2322

ah, the timeless art of seduction. 

#2323
1 hour ago, pokeNbeans said:

"Is everything all right here, Postal Employee Newman?"

"Yes sir, i believe everything is all squared away.  Isn't it, Mr. Kramer?"

#2326

It says here, "Interesting trades considered..." 

#2328

Because, you know...I live in New York City

#2331

We’re going to a catered affair!

my wife has a beautifully feminine but strong voice with a non descriptive midwestern accent:  she can’t do impressions of anyone, male or female, to save her life.   But she can fucking nail that Frank Costanza line every time.  

#2333

Who lives in Paris!

#2335
13 hours ago, McCroskey said:

I base my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest.

All right, what else? You got the cups in the front, two loops in the back. All right, a guess that's about it.

#2340

He's the Wiz!  And nobody beats him...

#2344

He tried to lam, but they cheesed  him

#2346

Is it because of my lazy eye?

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