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My in laws just moved to a house on Lake Austin in the past two months from East Texas and I never realized how much I enjoyed the buffer zone. 
 

Even though long distance hasn’t been a thing for years, I feel like they always thought it was, because now any time a thought pops into their head, they’re calling!  Seriously, like 3-4 times a day for things that easily could have been a text. 
 

 

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I'm sure this has been posted, but I've got a friend stressing over an alarm to remind him to purchase concert tickets tomorrow and he made this reference, which I caught and clapped back with Jena-Paul!

 

 

14 minutes ago, dcbc said:

I'm sure this has been posted, but I've got a friend stressing over an alarm to remind him to purchase concert tickets tomorrow and he made this reference, which I caught and clapped back with Jena-Paul!

 

 

This thread is 168 pages long.  Everything has been posted.

Most people tink it was the snooze.

You are mommy’s little bastard, aren’t you?

21 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

You are mommy’s little bastard, aren’t you?

Take it easy, you son of a bitch. I was just trying to be nice.

35,000 feet above your head, you dumb sonofabitch! 

Yes. Separate knob. Why separate knob? WHY separate knob?!?

Just now, HornOnTheBayou said:

Some people like to have the radio alarm a little louder than the radio.

Oh please man, PLEASE!

5 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

This thread is 168 pages long.  Everything has been posted.

Most people tink it was the snooze.

I knew I reminded myself of something. 
 

You know, there’s 200 people that work in this office. Every day is someone’s “special day”.

13 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Most people tink it was the snooze.

AM/PM?

if I’d have been there with you in Barcelona you’d be polishing that medal right now…

And as I move the Elf on the Shelf tonight and get out the pole for my office, I remind all of you to quit crying and get ready to fight your father.  For in one hour, Festivus Eve is upon us.  
 

in all actuality, I do have sheets to smooth out.  
 

every year, I get weird looks when I’m putting up the pole.  But I think, “I’m also waking myself up at 3am in a cold sweat to move a stuffed elf I forgot about before bed so the kids don’t get wise.  What the hell am I clinging to?” 

Festivus falls on a Saturday and most people are done with work already.  I'm a little upset with myself that I don't have anything planned.  I bet I can pull something together though.

Trivia:  Who was Jerry's partner in his past time career as an umbrella salesman?

Subquestion: What was the street intersection they worked at?

People go to South America.

Yeah, and they come back with things taped to their large intestine.

15 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Trivia:  Who was Jerry's partner in his past time career as an umbrella salesman?

Subquestion: What was the street intersection they worked at?

No one eh?  Alright, well I’ll be back tomorrow for Festivus and the Airing of Grievances. 

The ex-partner on the umbrella twirling business was Teddy.  He had some great line about the draught of 198x almost losing him his house.  No idea the intersection they worked.  I know it wasn't the corner of 1st Avenue and 1st Street, the same street can't intersect with itself.  Must have been somewhere near Jerry's place so I'll say either Upper West Side or Manhattan Valley, if they were on their way to Monk's, for partial credit.  

I forget that was the same episode as the residual payments from the Super Terrific Happy Hour, and Carl Farber.  Which would explain why Jerry's checks get all wet in the rain.  

csb/ one year before we had kids and did elf on the shelf.  My wife, god bless her, tried to find a yankee bobblehead or something similar that she could hide around the house to be Jay Buhner in anticipation of Festivus.  Never panned out like so many of our demented ideas.  

As i rained blows upon him I realized there had to be another way.

 

Happy Festivus!

That musta been some doll.  
 

happy Festivus 

-from Bayside, OUT!

I just remembered I gotta go out into the garage to get the little analog wall clock to hang in a bag on an inside wall.  
 

I forget.  Are we supposed to do bagels for breakfast or no bagels?

22 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I just remembered I gotta go out into the garage to get the little analog wall clock to hang in a bag on an inside wall.  
 

I forget.  Are we supposed to do bagels for breakfast or no bagels?

Heyyy nobagelnobagelnobagelnobagel yo!

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I think the umbrella guy was Teddy Pavilac? Also happy Festivus! I played in a Festivus Eve paddle tournament last night so I’ve already completed this year’s feats of strength.

And I’ve got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about them!

Wife did not appreciate when I came home from the store this morning with a mailbox full of holiday cards.  Flung one at her, Costanza/Frisbee style yelling, "INCOMING!"  Nailed her in the bridge of the nose.  I imagine this will come up later over a meatloaf dinner over lettuce.  

13 minutes ago, ohchaucer said:

I think the umbrella guy was Teddy Pavilac? Also happy Festivus! I played in a Festivus Eve paddle tournament last night so I’ve already completed this year’s feats of strength.

And I’ve got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about them!

Teddy Padillac. 48th and 6th. 
 

You’re doing it too fast, you’ll disorient the customers. 

Your uncanny recall of addresses and numbers in Seinfeld is impressive, bordering on disturbing.  

Fun fact-that intersection is near and dear to a lot of NBC comedy writers since it's right near 30Rock.  Biff would also love it because that's where FoxNews is located.  

 

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Your uncanny recall of addresses and numbers in Seinfeld is impressive, bordering on disturbing.  

Fun fact-that intersection is near and dear to a lot of NBC comedy writers since it's right near 30Rock.  Biff would also love it because that's where FoxNews is located.  

 

I had to double check 48th and 6th on the script, but I was right. 
 

ETA: I’ve actually been to the Fox News studio because my old band played a couple of songs on the Imus show back in the day. We had to get there at 3am and had an escort into and out of the building. I hung out in the break room with whatever bimbo blonde morning anchors they had at the time. 20-something me enjoyed the view, but didn’t have the gumption to actually talk to them. 

Edited by Biff Tannen

That's a legit cool story, playing Imus in your 20s.  And possibly chatting up Laurie Dhue in the green room.   

Not as cool as playing in the band known as the Policemen's Benevolence Orchestra, but still cool.  

I think this thread says this every year but they really should run "The Strike" on a 24-hour loop today like they do with 'A Christmas Story'

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

That's a legit cool story, playing Imus in your 20s.  And possibly chatting up Laurie Dhue in the green room.   

Not as cool as playing in the band known as the Policemen's Benevolence Orchestra, but still cool.  

I think this thread says this every year but they really should run "The Strike" on a 24-hour loop today like they do with 'A Christmas Story'

I watched it on Netflix this morning. It’s available 24/7. But yes, I agree. 

The Strike is also followed up by one of my favorite non-apartment episodes, The Dealership. 

Which reminds me, I literally do need to change the lighting on my porch. 

4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Which reminds me, I literally do need to change the lighting on my porch. 

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You don't need glasses. You're just weak. You're weak!

they’re day-olds.  the homeless won’t even touch ‘em. 

Lotta baking themes in Seinfeld. 

Muffins, Bagels, Black & White Cookie, Babka, Marble Rye, Pound Cake, Danish, Coffee Cake, never mind the myriad baked pies and desserts at Monk's over the years.  

I mean, I'm sitting there with coffee.....like an idiot! 

Edited by YGIFS

18 minutes ago, futureman said:

they’re day-olds.  the homeless won’t even touch ‘em. 

efda367c-ba86-4844-a815-cc01819d9029_tex

Just noticed for the first time that FDR is the hot dog guy George is talking with when the Rosses catch him in the city after he lied about being n the Hamptons.

Edited by 'stache

I wouldn't bring them up to him, lest he put an eyelash wish hex on you...

It's almost time for the feats of strength...get ready Couger, you're up next.

I think you can take him, Georgie!

You know, when you think about it...the closest "Seinfeld" ever gets to a Christmas Episode (Festivus obviously takes place that time of year, but it's clearly about everything that's not Christmas)...is the Cashmere sweater/red dot episode.  I guess the Kramer and Mickey working as Santas, but that could just have easily as been about Easter or the Tooth Fairy.  The one episode that kinda takes place around Christmas and kinda has to do with usual Christmas traditions like exchanging of gifts, and it ends with George banging the maid at work on his desk.  That, and I guess the Label Maker regifting at Whatley's Christmas party.  

Brilliant.  

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