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Adult Contemporary?  

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anyway, so I was coming along here and I felt like a piece of cake, you know?  but then I thought it’s morning I should really have a muffin, I like those chocolate chip ones.  then I figured well they’re really both cake.  so I, uh, sat on that bench for a little while, twenty minutes, or an hour, and then I figured check and see what you were up to.

Kruger: Well George, I gotta be honest, I could go either way on you…but what the hell, we need someone.
George: You won’t regret this Sir!
Kruger: I don’t care.

646?  Is that new or something?  

No, no...it's not new...it's just different 

On 5/3/2019 at 5:31 PM, Lobo said:

646?  Is that new or something?  

No, no...it's not new...it's just different 

it’s the same as 212.  they just multiplied it by three, then added one to the middle number.  it’s the same. 

I can't watch this clip without cracking up. The whole gunshots sound effect then the scream gets me every time. 

 

Edited by Junior Miller

8 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

Jerry! Hello!

I can never remember the title, nor find it online.  The Uncle Leo actor, Len Lesser, has one of his first acting credits ever back in the 50's/60's in some hokey Manhattan rom-com with a few musical numbers.  Anyway, his first scene is at a street corner near Times Square, and he engages the female lead and says in his trademark style "Hello"...and she replies in kind and they start greeting other pedestrians.  It was sort of the script's way of suggesting if you are more open with other people, good things will happen, yadayadayada.  Anyway, it was Len's breakout role.  30 years later, he parlays that into a niche recurring character on the best show in TV>  

I wanna say it was with Dean Martin in "Bells are Ringing"  

Listen to the way Charlie bessemer says hello.  Found it.  (george voice): Didn't really take that long either...

Edited by Lobo

Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."

On 5/6/2019 at 2:24 PM, Junior Miller said:

I can't watch this clip without cracking up. The whole gunshots sound effect then the scream gets me every time. 

 

"Why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you selected"

I quote this quite often.  The sales people in our company have a hard time selling anything unless it's much cheaper than our competition.  It's a real pain in the ass.  The joke on the business side is "Why don't you just TELL me the price you can sell this for".

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

RIP Jim Fowler. 

0649581e192db43eeb09d28ad98c41fc.jpg

 I practically raised his kids.

 

Lately, I’ve been peeling the label off my generic wax beans.  I can barely tell the difference.  

Only to tell me to lay off the sweets...

Jerry: No, no, no, it's... "She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her."

George: That's it. That's the line... (squirts mustard into Jerry's coffee and stirs it) ...that destroyed my life.

J: What happened? Did you pass the stone?

K: No, I tried to do a reverse hecht off my couch and I didn't make it.

 

Kramer and I saw it last night. Spock dies, they wrap him up in a towel, and they shoot him out the bowel of the ship in that big sunglasses case.

-or-

I know Jerry will tell you that Wrath of Khan is the better picture.

"In my country they speak of a man that is so virile, so potent, that to spend the night with such a man is to enter a world of sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as "The Comedian". 

"You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld... But you are no Comedian."

Well, you know, I've been lying about my income for a few years; I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.

Or we're going all the way.......to the Hamptons.  

13 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Or we're going all the way.......to the Hamptons.  

My mother loves Hampton tomatoes. She's nuts for Hampton tomatoes.

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