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Ken Phelps was good, but didn't do shit with the Yankees, just like Buhner.

Neither...

Could smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with it...I lost my train of thought.

Back to...

"Is this about the money?"  

11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Ken Phelps was good, but didn't do shit with the Yankees, just like Buhner.

 What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you don't know what the hell you're doing'!

That's true, we can't return an item based purely on spite.

Ruining the very pants I was intending to return.  

This pen smells really bad. So why do I keep smelling it?

You didn't like the crack about the pen?  

I just noticed the other day the transformation of Jack Klompus.  He died of emphysema I believe, so that's probably why.

The Pen:

jack-klompus-the-pen-seinfeld-2.jpg

 

The Cadillac:

68e1b12d78d356e7cd9220265beed28d.png

Yeah, a 75 pound swing at that age can't be good.  RIP.

He was a perfect example how the casting people at Seinfeld are criminally underrated.  The exchanges between primary and tertiary characters were so excruciatingly dependent on timing and there were almost no wink links in 9 seasons.  That writing couldn't be executed on by 99.9% of the SAG actors.  Go watch the board scene where they're trying to impeach Morty.  8 speaking roles with people over the age 75, 5 of whom have multiple comedic lines highly dependent on a quick exchange with others at the table.  It's a quick 2 minute scene but it's packed with laughs and impeccably timed.  Try getting 8 people that age to even sit at a table, let alone rattle off in perfect order those great lines.  "I'm running the meeting"..."IF you think so" is in my top 5 moments in Seinfeld history and it doesn't even involve any of the main characters.  

Anyway, I've gotta log off and get my Festivus shopping done.  Only 10 more days to FESTIVUS.  I labeled the 23rd on my daughter's advent calendar and she was not pleased.  I guess she already has a grievance to air, welcome to family sweetheart!  

Edited by Lobo

I assume that he died as a result of injuries obtained when crashing the Caddy into the swamp.

14 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I assume that he died as a result of injuries obtained when crashing the Caddy into the swamp.

He didn't crash it.  It drove itself into the swamp!

5 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

He didn't crash it.  It drove itself into the swamp!

The thing's a behemoth!  

Holy shit.  We are in the end times.  Thank you for alerting me, Bosco.  If any of your passwords involve 1-1-7 or 1-0-9, please let me know. now.  I won't access your ATM, but I will take measures for the end of days.  

12 hours ago, Lobo said:

Holy shit.  We are in the end times.  Thank you for alerting me, Bosco.  If any of your passwords involve 1-1-7 or 1-0-9, please let me know. now.  I won't access your ATM, but I will take measures for the end of days.  

nvm.  my brain isn't on yet.

Edited by Biff Tannen

C'mon, you can share with the rest of the class. 

Whoever heads up the Cavs media dept. deserves a raise.  That guy has been waiting for 28 years, and he only gets 2 chances in each of those years.  Waiting that whole time for the two annual Spurs/Cavs matchups.  And then he needs each of the two teams to hit a specific score between 70-140, and in the correct order Cleveland with the win, Spurs with the loss.  AND they needed overtime to do it.  Do you realize the odds of something like this?  

Unless, wait.  No.  You don't think?  Are you saying what I think you're saying?  

IT WAS FIXED!  

This is still such a cool story.  Anyway, back to my Festivus preparation.  

He's already got the two big religions covered, if he ever gets Polish citizenship there'll be no stopping him.

the Nakahama Broadcasting Corporation

Let me ask you something....what do you do for a living, Newman?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

What’s her husband’s name, again? Chip? Kip? Skip?

Todd

What kind of a name is Todd Gack, anyway?  

You know, you have a great Jon Houseman name.  

Alec Beeerg.  Mr. Beeeerg.

 

Honestly, this is one of my favorite things Jerry ever did.

Nothing wrong with the foot.

Probably the hardest I ever laughed during a Seinfeld episode.

 spacer.png

What’s that about ladies’ frames?

Happy Festivus my fellow Seinfeld fanboy’s!

I jumped the gun and started the airing of grievances last evening, instead of waiting until sunrise like most decent families.  Slept in a bit, got the pole ready, kids are making cookies, and tonight-we feast.  For feats of Strength, it seems my 4 year old is going to continue to physically challenge her 8 month old sister.  And I'll be testing the wits of my half-witted coworkers as I did not get Festivus off this year due to their uncanny chain of incompetence, one of them in particular couldn't smooth a silk sheet if he had a hot date with a...I lost my train of thought.  His wife is a legit two-face, and the whole crew these last nine months have behaved like Kruger Industrial Smoothing.  But this will be a good day.

 

And now, as Festivus rolls on...

George: We'll say we're frightened and have to go home.

Jerry: oh yeah, that's good.  He'd clunk our heads together like Moe.

They’re not cloning sheep. It’s the same sheep. 

two goats and a handkerchief 

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