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I don't explain 'em Mr. Seinfeld.  I just exterminate them.

 

I can't believe we're going dancing.
You don't go that often?
No, because it's so stupid.

JERRY: She's Romanian. What am I gonna talk to her about, Ceausescu?

KRAMER: Ch- oo-... what?

3 minutes ago, futureman said:

it’s a full bird, stuffed with ham, topped with gorgonzola. 

Just a salad...just a salad...

1 hour ago, futureman said:

it’s a full bird, stuffed with ham, topped with gorgonzola. 

I honestly think that episode is part of the reason I'm annoyed as shit when grown adults use terms like "Ma-Maw" in front of other people to reference their grandparents.  If there's no kids around, it's like Santa Claus, just say "My Grandmother"  

Having said all that, 'This is some fine mutton!' 

mmmmm, mutton!  hope you didn’t cut the fat off!

Edited by futureman

Yeah, alright, fine.  You sit there and you watch while Newman takes over the world.  But he'd be a horrible leader.  And you know who's gonna suffer?  The little people, you and George.

“See, the two of you need to work on trust...and then, and only then, will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts.”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Trotter: It's impossible because you don't know the answer!

Ms. Vito: Nobody could answer that question!

Trotter: Your Honor, I move to disqualify Miss Vito as a expert witness. 

Judge Haller: Can you answer the question? 

Ms. Vito: No. It is a trick question. 

Judge Haller: Why is it a trick question?

Vincent Gambini: [to his clients] Watch this.

Ms. Vito: 'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55. The 327 didn't come out til '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bellaire with the 4-barrel carburetor til '64. However, in 1964 the correct ignition timing would be 4 degrees before top dead center. 

Trotter: Well, uh, she's acceptable, Your Honor.

did you know marisa tomei won an oscar for that?  boy, she's beautiful, don't you think?  I wish I looked like that.

So quirky.....and so bald?  

buddy in sydney just sent me this.  from a rally in queensland yesterday.  no cr 

5774-DA3-A-C98-C-4-C2-C-B81-F-5-E03-AE55

what do I mean?  well perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount.  shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings... and then when you get it, you know, you drop him like a hot potato. 

I'd rather it go to another!  

1 hour ago, futureman said:

the toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one 

The price: your soul.

15 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

The Dark Continent is no place for an addict, Elaine.

That sounds like something a Poet Warlord would say.

that's...White Poet Warlord to you!

my new standing desk arrangement in the home office looks like something out of that kitchen episode where Jerry and George are trying to talk to another through that awkward slot.  My wife jokingly offered to make a little shelf for an alarm clock and we had the best laugh together maybe since the lockdown began.   

Just now, Lobo said:

that's...White Poet Warlord to you!

my new standing desk arrangement in the home office looks like something out of that kitchen episode where Jerry and George are trying to talk to another through that awkward slot.  My wife jokingly offered to make a little shelf for an alarm clock and we had the best laugh together maybe since the lockdown began.   

Conrad, Connie, or Con, whatever you prefer.

Just now, Biff Tannen said:

Conrad, Connie, or Con, whatever you prefer.

I don't remember the start time exchange he has with Jerry.  Whatever time Jerry wants.  

But it reminded me of Morty Seinfeld at his new job:

I get up at 4 o'clock, I can be here as early as 4:25.  But I can't laugh at that because lockdown has me waking up at 4:30a and having dinner at all hours of the night, i.e., 5:30p.  Just a few months ago I was getting up at 7:30a and eating dinner at 8:30p.  What a shitshow.  Anwyay...

I had no idea that in real life, that John O'Hurley---the actor who played J. Peterman, got a board seat at the real company.  Like a proper, voting board seat.  For a company that does $30mm in sales each year.  I mean that's right up there with the wrongful termination suit from the big brewery that guy won who got fired over the Mulva/Dolores episode.  And the charged murderer who got off the charges because he was seen by Larry David and a hooker while filming at a Dodger's game.  

 

2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I mean that's right up there with the wrongful termination suit from the big brewery that guy won who got fired over the Mulva/Dolores episode.  And the charged murderer who got off the charges because he was seen by Larry David and a hooker while filming at a Dodger's game.  

There's a lot to unpack here.

3 hours ago, Lobo said:

I mean that's right up there with the wrongful termination suit from the big brewery that guy won who got fired over the Mulva/Dolores episode.

I hadn’t heard about this one.  what happened there?

nm, I googled “brewery termination seinfeld mulva” and figured it out.  I’m a very industrious fellow.  $26 million!!!  crazy. 
 

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-jul-16-fi-13074-story.html?_amp=true

Edited by futureman

Well done, I hadn't thought about it in years and I had no idea how big the judgement was.  Curious what ever became of it on appeal.  

Literally, just read some of the quotes from his legal team in Jackie Chiles' voice.  It truly is life imitating art.  

 “I am telling you right now what happened to that man is so indecent that it cries to heaven for vengeance.”

It is outrageous, egregious, malicious.  Big beer?  I've been waiting to get my hands on them for years.  

I look around this country and this message board and suddenly the Puerto Rican Day Parade episode isn't so racist in hindsight.  

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I require 24 hours notice for a cancellation.  Now, as I see it...you owe me $75."  

10 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Jackie's cashing in on your retched disfigurement.

The man's a goblin!

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

I look around this country and this message board and suddenly the Puerto Rican Day Parade episode isn't so racist in hindsight.  

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I require 24 hours notice for a cancellation.  Now, as I see it...you owe me $75."  

I love in that episode how they set Kramer up to tell her about her hair and how outdated it is, but it backfires and he likes it.

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