Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

I'm hip man.  

  • Replies 9.6k
  • Views 524.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

Posted Images

Kramer: What's today?

Newman: It's Thursday.

Kramer: Really? Feels like Tuesday.

Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel....

Kramer: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday...

Jerry: All right, shut up the both of you! You're making me nervous.

^

reminds me of Kramer telling Elaine he doesn't need a watch or clock to tell tim.

"Well what do you do when the sun's not out?" 

6 hours ago, Lobo said:

^

reminds me of Kramer telling Elaine he doesn't need a watch or clock to tell tim.

"Well what do you do when the sun's not out?" 

well, night’s tougher.  but it’s only a couple of hours. 

You know that sound the can makes when you open it?  That's the sound of you buying a whole can.

The presidency attracts the badly named. Their ambition is based on personal insecurities. It's classic male overcompensation. 

Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't you just get in your car and move to the EAST SIDE!

Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. *That's* a fantasy camp!

5 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Hey that sounds like one of those old-timey car horns.  K-OOOGER!

 George, come in. I’m just going over our annual report…boy did we take it on the chin last year.

Hey, guess what! Little Jerry ran from here to Newman's in under thirty seconds!

Is that good?

I don't know.

9 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

 George, come in. I’m just going over our annual report…boy did we take it on the chin last year.

Check it out, George... All me, no hands!

I thought they wore gloves... and helmets!  you know, like american gladiators. 

 George, come in. I’m just going over our annual report…boy did we take it on the chin last year.


I’m not too worried about it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

that was my mail-order bride. 

-hey, you weren’t home, so I signed for her. 

I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?

how am I gonna fill two hours?

-hello? I can take an hour off your hands.  give the kids a chance to see a real live yankee.

and give you the chance to see some real disappointed kids.

Most of the world is carpeted, George.  And one day, we will do all the cleaning...

I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. 

In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man.

Hey, Jerry! Look at all these towels they gave me. I really hit the jackpot!

PUDDY: Let’s finish this up.

JERRY: Did you two break up?

PUDDY: That chick’s whacked. We’re history. I just left out a couple of things:

rust-proofing..

JERRY: "Rust-proofing"?

PUDDY:  Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee

JERRY: "Finder’s fee"? It was on the lot!

PUDDY: Yeah, that’s right.  Floor mats, keys..

JERRY: ‘Keys"?!

PUDDY: How ya gonna start it?

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.