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Featured Replies

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"There was this guy he got struck by lightning 3 times and every time it paralyzed him"

"Sounds like you got an itch in your vagina."

"Let's talk about the Palestain sediments."

"Raul, all you need to get your act together is some Jesus."

"Dollar for dollar, if there's a better beer than Frio, I haven't drank it."

J: "Cold front coming next week."
L: "How cold is it gonna be?"
J: "Don't ask stupid questions."

Greg - We had to get rid of the new dog. Our other dog did not like him. They constantly went after each other nonstop.
Jimmy - Think of it from the dog's point of view. How would you feel if your dog brought home a homeless man for you live with?

 

 

43 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Jimmy - Think of it from the dog's point of view. How would you feel if your dog brought home a homeless man for you live with?

a_few_basic_mindblowing_statements_03.gi

 

 

The best thread in the history of the internet.  

20 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

"Let's talk about the Palestain sediments."

I'd pay good money to hear the rest of this conversation

J: "Cold front coming next week."
L: "How cold is it gonna be?"
J: "Don't ask stupid questions."

Yeah, don't ask stupid questions.

 

The Palestine and Dog bringing home a homeless person are damn near Socrates level.

Johnathan Mcnab....he's got a kickass smile......no, Newton!
I was watching Drastic World Three this weekend where they have that baby Trynasaurus Rex.
I'm gonna be all alone this weekend so I thought hey I can do all kinds of cool stuff, like wax my truck
The reason I like armadillos is cause they can't see
Sote' Matta Lakko - made up name for a Starbucks drink
We went to a foofy dinner with some people from Italy or Europe of whatever and they invited us over for coffee and it wasn't even instant coffee.
J: I got really drunk on Saturday night. I also got drunk on Saturday morning
S: Twice in one day? How's that possible?
J: My record is 3 times. It's possible kemosabe.

 


What do you call a dinosaur playing hide and seek?

Confucius is sitting cross-legged pondering the gravity of the dog/owner continuum.   

On 10/12/2018 at 12:52 PM, CooterBrown said:

 

Greg - We had to get rid of the new dog. Our other dog did not like him. They constantly went after each other nonstop.
Jimmy - Think of it from the dog's point of view. How would you feel if your dog brought home a homeless man for you live with?

 

 

Fuckin' Dirt Bike.

On 10/13/2018 at 9:48 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

At some point, this shit needs to be put into a coffee table book. 

Its been discussed on TOS

11 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Or get Thujone to illustrate a comic book, Far Side style. 

MS Paint would be the only appropriate format.

2 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

MS Paint would be the only appropriate format.

Paging @Thujone... 

Seriously, how amazing would the two combined be?

3 hours ago, Rimbo said:

Paging @Thujone... 

Seriously, how amazing would the two combined be?

Fucking Pulitzer Prize. Think Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy in a space bound, jacked Ford F 150 with after burners.  Sam Rockwell could still play dirt bike

21 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

MS Paint would be the only appropriate format.

I was thinking this same exact thing. It's a bye week, so I may try my hand at some as well. Maybe the dream about how he got his nickname from JG...

Yeah if Thuj declines, maybe we all take a scene and do our own medium

15 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Yeah if Thuj declines, maybe we all take a scene and do our own medium

In34

Who did the dramatic recreation of JerseyMan's trip to the titter?

On 10/18/2018 at 3:32 PM, You don't know me said:

Yeah, illustrations of Jimmy's stories would be fantastic.

But much like Mohahmed, a Jimmy must never be depicted..

6 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

But much like Mohahmed, a Jimmy must never be depicted..

I disagree. Jimmy must be depicted in all the different ways that we envision him. 

Yeah if Thuj declines, maybe we all take a scene and do our own medium
I claim pissing on snow
At some point, this shit needs to be put into a coffee table book. 

Without question. The Zen of Jimmy.
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

"You know what's good to have on your fishin' boat - a derfibuhlater. You just gotta trust me on that."

  • 1 month later...
  • Author

"Lisa, I saw a woman who looked like you with different hair but now I see you with your same hair and I guess it wasn't you"

"I don't wish you would die, but.....it would be nice"

"I'm a materialistic nonsense type of guy"

That line is from poultrygeist. She was a Median. 

"Is Greg here today?" - at 3 pm after not seeing Greg the entire day (Jimmy sits next to Greg)

"I bring bearing gifts"

"You want one of these nurture valley bars?"

Did Adam and Eve weave the fig leaves in their pubes or something?

Becca, you missed a very informital meeting yesterday

My brother and I were so extoked. 

I woke up this morning and I thought I was having a heart attack, cause it hurts right here (points). Right around the heart area. 

I fixed that work order and now it looks like a Paul DeVinci painting. 

If you're quick and in a hurry fast you should probably not take your time

You know what word I like? Vulva.

 

  • 1 month later...
  • Author

Jimmy - You know that song "the girl is on fire"
Greg - no
Jimmy - It got replaced with eyes
Greg - .....what?
Jimmy - my eyes are burning

Jimmy: Y'all wanna hear a crazy story?
Us: no
Jimmy: ....ok, check it out

"This lady had a dog with her, it was a snickerdoodle"

When you die and they pull out your safety closet box.....

I haven't seen you in a dog's age, buddy

Lisa: "This Saturday is my work anniversary"
Jimmy: "You started on a Saturday?"

Didn't the new John Wick win the Oscar last week?

Lisa (after walking in from the rain): I'm soaking wet.
Jimmy: I wasn't even involved.

 

 

11 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Jimmy - You know that song "the girl is on fire"
Greg - no
Jimmy - It got replaced with eyes
Greg - .....what?
Jimmy - my eyes are burning

Jimmy: Y'all wanna hear a crazy story?
Us: no
Jimmy: ....ok, check it out

"This lady had a dog with her, it was a snickerdoodle"

When you die and they pull out your safety closet box.....

I haven't seen you in a dog's age, buddy

Lisa: "This Saturday is my work anniversary"
Jimmy: "You started on a Saturday?"

Didn't the new John Wick win the Oscar last week?

Lisa (after walking in from the rain): I'm soaking wet.
Jimmy: I wasn't even involved.

 

 

imgur

27 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I haven't seen you in a dog's age, buddy

Maybe it was a coon dog?

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

 

Lisa (after walking in from the rain): I'm soaking wet.
Jimmy: I wasn't even involved.

 

 

Image result for my nigga gif

5 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Lisa (after walking in from the rain): I'm soaking wet.
Jimmy: I wasn't even involved.

HR is starting to get to Jimmy.

5 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Lisa (after walking in from the rain): I'm soaking wet.
Jimmy: I wasn't even involved.

HR is starting to get to Jimmy.

“I don’t wish you would die...but it would be nice”

I figured it out. Jimmy is the inner voice we all have without the muzzle.

He is a savant.

Quote

Lisa: "This Saturday is my work anniversary"
Jimmy: "You started on a Saturday?"

This one got me good

Love when I see the update on this site.  Jimmy is a national hero.

  • 2 months later...
  • Author

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

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