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Featured Replies

37 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

tenor.gif

52 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You selfish bastard. How dare you think of your future and not our need for Jimmy's Hot Takes.

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You mean you don't head down to at least visit with Dirt Bike? You're a real prick, you know that. 

2 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You had 1 job !!!!

You need to say to hell with worlds colliding and get one of your employees on here to do your old job.

We're all counting on you. 

  • Author
  • Popular Post

She had 4 dogs and a chihuahua

And I got this tin mug, that's made out of tin. It's metal. I know that.

There are 3 positions in baseball that I just don't play: #1) infield, and #2) pitcher or catcher

Easy as peasy

I was makin' lettuce wraps, and I made them with.....lettuce.

I like podcasts, but I hate the talking.

I read that a sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwich. Seems like it should be because the fixin's are sandwiched between bread.

There are really only two types of clowns...the murdering kind and the buggering kind.  It tough deciding which one to hire for your kid's birthday party since both are funny in their own way.

Scott, I ain't your fuck monkey

I was on the shitter and decided to make peace with myself.

My only regret in life is not taking enough chances.

Tina booked a trip to Vietnam. I hope none of the guys my dad killed are still around.

Weird morning. I woke up from a dream.

My softball team isn't any good but we're drunk and happy.

 

 

37 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Viet Cong ghosts? Lemme guess, "Bu Nguyen".

Phan Than 

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I was on the shitter and decided to make peace with myself.

 

We've all had that moment.

Oh man still so good. 

Fuck monkey and vietnam ghosts are fucking awesome

On 3/26/2018 at 9:41 AM, CooterBrown said:

My dad went over right during the hype of Vietnam.

This is without doubt my favorite

22 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Dude! You are our moses, and Jimmy the burning bush!

How dare you leave us lost in the desert!

Username checks out

3 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

We've all had that moment.

Shitting is one of the many things which not only make us human, but also make us a community. 

See shart thead.

Edited by MissingInAction

That's a solid batch. 

What do we know about Jimmy's offspring, other than he/she is apparently (annually?) subjected to dangerous birthday clowns?

  • Author
14 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

What do we know about Jimmy's offspring, other than he/she is apparently (annually?) subjected to dangerous birthday clowns?

His boys are like 21 and 19.

 

How many failed to reach the age of majority due to death by misadventure? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.


How are you able to manage them so far from the grill and fryer?

There's not many places that I haven't "made peace" with myself, I just never knew to call it that.

On 4/25/2019 at 10:23 AM, CooterBrown said:

 There are really only two types of clowns...the murdering kind and the buggering kind.  It tough deciding which one to hire for your kid's birthday party since both are funny in their own way.

 

Jeffrey Dahmer. Both for the price of one.

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

Jeffrey Dahmer. Both for the price of one.

John Wayne Gacey, but we quibble over names.

11 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

John Wayne Gacey, but we quibble over names.

I assume he was channeling Jimmy?

Someone remind me.

Didn’t jimmy have a truck he called the ghost but it was black and he drove into a lake or something?

33 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

Someone remind me.

Didn’t jimmy have a truck he called the ghost but it was black and he drove into a lake or something?

I don't think he drove it into a lake, but yes to everything else

In a meeting and just openly laughed at "Scott, I ain't your fuck monkey." 

There was no sense in hiding it - so I just said a friend emailed me something funny a co-worker said and I made the mistake of reading it in here.  They asked me to share.  They too agree it is a gem and hysterical. 

That'll teach me to read Surly while in meetings (Ron Howard's voice: It won't.)

  • 2 months later...
  • Author

Tina's dad always told me not to waste my money on the scotchguard fertilizer at Home Depot. They sell that for the fruity package. 

 

  • 1 month later...
  • Author

"I'm daddy to 11 kittens, coach.  They're all at least 18 millimeters long."

"I just realized that you spell it ahead like ahead but you don't spell a little like alittle"

"Tina came home and said she wanted a divorce. I said okay, your cooch was done anyway."

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

"Tina came home and said she wanted a divorce. I said okay, your cooch was done anyway."

Atta boy

  • 4 months later...
  • Author

Well, it’s the end of the line for Jimmy. Since he’s not in my chain of command any longer, this is third hand info.

Since his divorce, he was drinking way more than usual and started drunk texting and calling everyone on his team at 2-4AM. He finally did it enough to the wrong person and they complained about harassment. He was on paid leave for a few weeks and then told not to come back.


Talk about an emotional roller coaster.   First the excitement at seeing a Dirt Bike thread update... and it’s this.  
disappointed chris farley GIF

Well, it’s the end of the line for Jimmy. Since he’s not in my chain of command any longer, this is third hand info.

Since his divorce, he was drinking way more than usual and started drunk texting and calling everyone on his team at 2-4AM. He finally did it enough to the wrong person and they complained about harassment. He was on paid leave for a few weeks and then told not to come back.


Tell ROFLBOX to hire him so we can continue to get updates.

This isn't the first time a worn out cooch has ruined things, but it is the worst time.  

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

 


Tell ROFLBOX to hire him so we can continue to get updates.

 

Or Bob. Then we can get all the updates first hand. 

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