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Dallas Cowboys 2025 season thread: 8-9 and divine. The world according to Jerry

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I am an optimist by nature, but that was a horse turd wrapped in old cottage cheese in an out of date bacon pushed into a pamper wrapped in dog shit and a cat turd.

Terrible.

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LOL, Milton had guys open and 3 times he threw it to a guy blanketed.  On 3rd down the dig underneath was open close to the sticks.
He's going to be a major project..... Major.  He's 3 years away from mattering.  Hope he can get better as he gets more reps.
Teams don't get rid of QBs that have any ability at all. Milton is ass.

Guys, they hired Brian Schottenheimer, not Marty Schottenheimer, Brian, his son.  what do you expect?  you pair coaching nepotism with front office nepo and let the hilarity ensue...

Jerry doesn't give a fuck and neither does fat fuck Junior...

Does Jimmy Johnson have a son?

 

1 hour ago, futureman said:

image.thumb.png.45ee0b692c12473dba2e3fa15735d62a.png

how does will grier have zero completions for 3 yards?

It's MAGIC

8 hours ago, dcar00 said:

Guys, they hired Brian Schottenheimer, not Marty Schottenheimer, Brian, his son.  what do you expect?  you pair coaching nepotism with front office nepo and let the hilarity ensue...

Jerry doesn't give a fuck and neither does fat fuck Junior...

Does Jimmy Johnson have a son?

 

If I remember right, Jimmy actually does and one of them played football here at Texas.  I'm sure though he has better things to do than listen to Stephen and Jerry whisper in his ear.

On 8/8/2025 at 1:29 PM, mdmost said:

I think I'm starting to hate Stephen more than Jerry. At least with Jerry, shit is finite. We only have so many more years of dealing with his shit. 

This is the problem.  Jerry has been throttled by Stephen.  Stephen would have never signed Deion or Haley or TO.  Jerry might have input on big deals but everything is managed by and thru Stephen.  Grew up with Daddy losing the house on a bad hole in the ground and other shit; he is absolutely riskaphobic.  We will have him another 20 years. At least.

 

two hopes after Jerry dies.  1. Charlotte is CEO and fires Stephen.  2.  Kids say we’re tired of it and cash in for $15 billion.  

12 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

Nobody on the road and nobody at the grocery store in Lakewood during first half of this dogshit of a preseason game. Until people stop supporting this team things are not going to change

It’s 118 out there. Nobody going anywhere.  Wife and I were bingeing Lie Detector.

2 hours ago, AbeFroman said:

If I remember right, Jimmy actually does and one of them played football here at Texas.  I'm sure though he has better things to do than listen to Stephen and Jerry whisper in his ear.

Both of Jimmy’s sons played high school football.  Jimmy’s big regret is he never saw a single play with either one of them.  

I had a preseason pick of a 5-13 season but adjusted to 2-15.  
 

for Schott talking accountability and effort look at all the starters and some rookies on the sidelines.  Bullshit.  Other teams like the Bengals have their frustrated superstar qb demanding starters play in preseason including himself.  I think Dak was looking at granite samples for his new mansion during the game.  CeeDee got a penalty not dressed out.  
 

Eberflus.  That weren’t no Doomsday.  Swiss Cheese on Toast Defense.  Milton has a peasized brain to go with that big arm.  Vrabel had that with Levis in Nashville and runoft Milton to the first sucker he called.

Had to go back and look it up.  Brent Johnson, he's a Longhorn Legend.

Brent Johnson (1984-85) — Stillwater, Oklahoma

Brent Johnson was a highly-regarded defensive back recruit in the 1982 class, and also the son of Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy Johnson was Oklahoma State’s head football coach at the time and would later win national titles at Miami (Florida) and a pair of Super Bowls coaching the Dallas Cowboys in the early 1990s. When considering Brent’s options as a recruit, father and son agreed that he would not play either for his father or for one of OSU’s regular opponents, which ruled out his playing for any Big Eight programs. He eventually chose Texas over Stanford. He played safety at Texas and was a reserve for his first few years before being moved to linebacker as a senior in 1985, and in published depth charts from that season he was listed as the third-string weakside linebacker. He appeared in 17 games with the Longhorns over three seasons and was credited with 35 total tackles.

Milton is his scouting report before game 17 last year.

Saw Jerry coming. 

Satan aka Jerry.

 

 

Edited by DougO

26 minutes ago, AbeFroman said:

Had to go back and look it up.  Brent Johnson, he's a Longhorn Legend.

Brent Johnson (1984-85) — Stillwater, Oklahoma

Brent Johnson was a highly-regarded defensive back recruit in the 1982 class, and also the son of Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy Johnson was Oklahoma State’s head football coach at the time and would later win national titles at Miami (Florida) and a pair of Super Bowls coaching the Dallas Cowboys in the early 1990s. When considering Brent’s options as a recruit, father and son agreed that he would not play either for his father or for one of OSU’s regular opponents, which ruled out his playing for any Big Eight programs. He eventually chose Texas over Stanford. He played safety at Texas and was a reserve for his first few years before being moved to linebacker as a senior in 1985, and in published depth charts from that season he was listed as the third-string weakside linebacker. He appeared in 17 games with the Longhorns over three seasons and was credited with 35 total tackles.

well fuckin' A...can he coach?

5 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

two hopes after Jerry dies.  1. Charlotte is CEO and fires Stephen.  2.  Kids say we’re tired of it and cash in for $15 billion.  

I also hope that after jerry dies sydney sweeney and ana de armas show up on my doorstep and beg to be my sex slaves.

19 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

perfect summary of the season here ....

 

I’ve never seen that before. So maybe that means this is our year. 

5 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

This is the problem.  Jerry has been throttled by Stephen.  Stephen would have never signed Deion or Haley or TO.  Jerry might have input on big deals but everything is managed by and thru Stephen.  Grew up with Daddy losing the house on a bad hole in the ground and other shit; he is absolutely riskaphobic.  We will have him another 20 years. At least.

 

two hopes after Jerry dies.  1. Charlotte is CEO and fires Stephen.  2.  Kids say we’re tired of it and cash in for $15 billion.  

Who would be ideal ownership?

cuban ? With manning at helm?

fuck it I’m down 

53 minutes ago, kingkoopa6 said:

Who would be ideal ownership?

cuban ? With manning at helm?

fuck it I’m down 

Whoever is smart enough to money whip the Eagles GM and let him run everything

Whomever has $15 billion would be some form of asshole, dipshit, or douchebag.  Some tech guy or another Walton.  That won’t sell.  

48 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:

Whomever has $15 billion would be some form of asshole, dipshit, or douchebag.  Some tech guy or another Walton.  That won’t sell.  

*Whoever.  didn’t you go to school?

10 hours ago, kingkoopa6 said:

Who would be ideal ownership?

cuban ? With manning at helm?

fuck it I’m down 

no point in fantasizing.  the jones family will own the cowboys until the NFL disintegrates.  

Only hope I got is the years when I'm excited and expect something out of the cowboys they are shitty 100% of the time.  When I expect them to be shit they're either a huge pile of shit or......surprisingly good.  

It’s what keeps the Cryptkeeper up at night (along with the blood transfusions), how they can have really good to great regular seasons (6 of the last 10 were double digit wins, including a 13 win and four 12 win seasons) while doing next to nothing when it counts. So Jerry is lulled into thinking they are thiiiiiis close, yet they never get over the hump. And agree on the Jones Family never selling: it’s now the family identity, they have plenty operating capital to buy mansions, yachts, etc. and never want for anything, so what will a few billion change? 

Edited by Vito Andolini

5 or 6 wins seems like this team's ceiling.  The defense is going to be shittier than last year.

Strategy: Convince the Jones Boys that the Cowboys have gone to hell simply because the entire NFL is going to hell. There will never be a better time to sell this shit franchise - they're gonna lose a billion a year in mkt value every year going forward - maybe 2 bil some years. Sell now, move the fuck back to Arkansas. Get those long hoped-for banjo lessons.

2 hours ago, kevwun said:

5 or 6 wins seems like this team's ceiling.  The defense is going to be shittier than last year.

This is where I'm at. This is going to be a very bad team.

36 minutes ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Strategy: Convince the Jones Boys that the Cowboys have gone to hell simply because the entire NFL is going to hell. There will never be a better time to sell this shit franchise - they're gonna lose a billion a year in mkt value every year going forward - maybe 2 bil some years. Sell now, move the fuck back to Arkansas. Get those long hoped-for banjo lessons.

I see only 2 possibilities

1. some war between the siblings and someone starts suing a la the Lakers

2. They don't want the camera. Jerry loves him some camera and that goes away when you aren't the owner anymore. Junior is being groomed for the camera and appears to like it or at least tolerate it.

To be clear, I see neither of these happening because the Jones family fashions themselves as "football men".

 

 

19 minutes ago, dcar00 said:

the Jones family fashions themselves as "football men".

 

IMG_9968.jpeg

Washington and Philly are gonna butt fuck this team up and down the field with wreckless abandon 

33 minutes ago, futureman said:

 

IMG_9968.jpeg

love the playsheets in hand.  I can just see Schotty's admin having to print and put playsheets in the 2 idiot's offices at 6AM before each practice.

Best guess is unless there are major injuries this group will bumblefuck their way to 7-8 wins per usual. 

13 hours ago, futureman said:

*Whoever. Didn’t you go to school?

FIFY

I didn’t bother to read the articles, but I saw a few headlines this morning claiming Jerry revealed yesterday he’s been privately battling a potentially fatal cancer for a number of years, and some progressive treatments were needed to literally save his life. So, I’m assuming some of you are cussing modern medicine now.

I didn’t bother to read the articles, but I saw a few headlines this morning claiming Jerry revealed yesterday he’s been privately battling a potentially fatal cancer for a number of years, and some progressive treatments were needed to literally save his life. So, I’m assuming some of you are cussing modern medicine now.

Fuck cancer…
1 hour ago, Vito Andolini said:

I didn’t bother to read the articles, but I saw a few headlines this morning claiming Jerry revealed yesterday he’s been privately battling a potentially fatal cancer for a number of years, and some progressive treatments were needed to literally save his life. So, I’m assuming some of you are cussing modern medicine now.

I think he was diagnosed back in 2010 and he's beaten it; it's over with.

immunotherapy is a wonderful thing.  shoutout to nobel prize winner, texan, and UT grad jim allison for figuring that shit out.

8 hours ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Miracle drug PD-1.

PD1 is just a receptor on T cells.  the drug is a monoclonal antibody that blocks the receptor.  there are several and their names all end “-mab”...  blocking the receptor allows your T cells to more effectively fight cancer.  

/end of pedantic rant

2 hours ago, lilMAC25 said:

Fuck Cancer

the one time people actually want cancer to win, and it loses.  fuck cancer.  

25 minutes ago, Bill Brasky said:

the one time people actually want cancer to win, and it loses.  fuck cancer.  

things are not going to get better when he dies. 

No, they aren't.  Stephen is just as big of a dumbass, probably even more since he's the ultimate nepobaby.  Hopefully he won't live as long.

Edited by kevwun

On 8/9/2025 at 10:10 PM, dcar00 said:

Guys, they hired Brian Schottenheimer, not Marty Schottenheimer, Brian, his son.  what do you expect?  you pair coaching nepotism with front office nepo and let the hilarity ensue...

Jerry doesn't give a fuck and neither does fat fuck Junior...

Does Jimmy Johnson have a son?

 

At least one, who is a UT Law alum.  Don't think he's much of a football coach.

2 hours ago, futureman said:

things are not going to get better when he dies. 

But they may get closer.... Stephen is a pussy and will probably quit when the mob comes for him.  Also, it's professional malpractice.  Jerry is obviously in cognitive decline.  He's out there just saying shit like your Grandad used to when he yelled at the TV, except Jerry has a franchise to fuck up.  He's dumb when it comes to football management and now he's suffering dementia.

 

I love it when owners play the “He’s already under contract” card. How many players has he cut while under contract but the guaranteed money was either not onerous or non-existent. 

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