Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Who will play Fitlump when the movie “Fitlump” is made?
Whoever they cast, she'll need to be horny and if they can get Arnold in a cameo saying "it's not a tumor" that would be fantastic.
  • Replies 35.5k
  • Views 2.6m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • This is such unbridled horseshit. I live in fucking California, and I'm not sure if I've ever seen a Fuck Trump shirt/flag/bumper sticker/whatever in person. I can't go a day without seeing Let's Go B

  • Jive Turkey
    Jive Turkey

    Did not have former Skid Row lead singer Sebastian Bach talking shit to MAGA cult members on my bingo card. But here we are.  

  • Ghost of LL
    Ghost of LL

    Yep. I was a George Will/Ronald Reagan/Al Laffer conservative.  I genuinely thought that if you cut taxes for the upper classes, then they would spend and invest and the economic result of that w

Posted Images

9 hours ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Did she try and deep throat the mic?
 

I can’t believe one of you haven’t posted some of her pics to her twitter account. 

Not her account.  I think a Fitlump parody account would be appropriate.  When she choose to run for public office, she basically enabled this.

When the official Twitter account of a government security agency uses it’s position of authority to lie and attack the free press.......

69d75bcb826d3ba83cc85a7d5c74a355.jpg
3569488376adfd24a1a59e60b6adb0b4.jpg

Fascism.

On June 19, 2020 at 11:31 PM, Horn Dog said:

Who will play Fitlump when the movie “Fitlump” is made?

Diego Luna

Has this been posted in another thread?

So, Jenna Ellis tweeted the following this evening. Ellis is Senior Legal Advisor to Team Trump.

Comments are spoilered because I can't figure out how not to include her tweet, but some of them are solid.

Spoiler

 

 

 

Did you sleep through Obama’s 8 year war on Christianity?!?!

Well, no I remember that.  But then I remembered that Trump was holding a bible in front of a church just the other day, so I thought all was well again.

4 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

Is someone trying to cancel christianity that I'm not aware of?

Apparently Shaun King tweeted something to the effect that the white European Jesus depictions needed to come down/be removed. Stained glass white Jesus and so on. Triggered people to the point that instead of Antifa coming to the burbs, now it’s “thugs” or Marxists and the like coming to the churches.

12 hours ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

Is someone trying to cancel christianity that I'm not aware of?

i kinda hope so. 

On 6/20/2020 at 10:32 PM, Bama Chick said:

When the official Twitter account of a government security agency uses it’s position of authority to lie and attack the free press.......

69d75bcb826d3ba83cc85a7d5c74a355.jpg
3569488376adfd24a1a59e60b6adb0b4.jpg

Fascism.

I'll bet you're just saying that because they're using a state media apparatus to disseminate false partisan propaganda. You're not one of them anti-facists, I hope.

12 hours ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

Is someone trying to cancel christianity that I'm not aware of?

🤞

15 hours ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

Is someone trying to cancel christianity that I'm not aware of?

I always thought Christians were doing a pretty good job of it. 

Hey look everyone, Senate Republicans are against encryption and privacy and all that hullabaloo:

https://www.judiciary.senate.gov/press/rep/releases/graham-cotton-blackburn-introduce-balanced-solution-to-bolster-national-security-end-use-of-warrant-proof-encryption-that-shields-criminal-activity

 

Quote

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) and U.S. Senators Tom Cotton (R-Arkansas) and Marsha Blackburn (R-Tennessee) today introduced the Lawful Access to Encrypted Data Act, a bill to bolster national security interests and better protect communities across the country by ending the use of “warrant-proof” encrypted technology by terrorists and other bad actors to conceal illicit behavior.

 

They want to eliminate end to end encryption completely.

 

 

6 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Hey look everyone, Senate Republicans are against encryption and privacy and all that hullabaloo:

https://www.judiciary.senate.gov/press/rep/releases/graham-cotton-blackburn-introduce-balanced-solution-to-bolster-national-security-end-use-of-warrant-proof-encryption-that-shields-criminal-activity

 

 

They want to eliminate end to end encryption completely.

 

 

Lulz banks, e-commerce, and damn near anything online that requires information assurance and secrecy will be fundamentally broken by this law. 

Math is math, yo. Can't put a backdoor in that will not fundamentally weaken the underlying encryption. At least, we don't have math for that yet. 

1 hour ago, cactusflinthead said:

 

We need a fuck ton of people like this in November. 

6 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

Always wanted to make this post...

TAN SUIT!!!!!!

 

Then pass one of the hundred bills the house already sent you you turtle faced shit for brains. 

On 6/22/2020 at 8:50 PM, Mrs Whiggins said:

Has this been posted in another thread?

So, Jenna Ellis tweeted the following this evening. Ellis is Senior Legal Advisor to Team Trump.

Comments are spoilered because I can't figure out how not to include her tweet, but some of them are solid.

  Hide contents

 

 

 

That is some good shit, would read again. 

On 6/22/2020 at 8:50 PM, Mrs Whiggins said:

Has this been posted in another thread?

So, Jenna Ellis tweeted the following this evening. Ellis is Senior Legal Advisor to Team Trump.

 

 

Fucking evangelicals.

 

What is up w/ this weird persecution fantasy that they keep jerking off to? I mean, even when they are in poor, have the Whitehouse, have the Senate, AND have a 5-4 majority of justices.... they go on and on about it.

 

That's some weird ass sadism shit right there.

 

I can see Jenna firing out that tweet and then furiously hate-'bating to the thought of standing up to the illuminati  liber-ati.

 

 

17 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Hey look everyone, Senate Republicans are against encryption and privacy and all that hullabaloo:

https://www.judiciary.senate.gov/press/rep/releases/graham-cotton-blackburn-introduce-balanced-solution-to-bolster-national-security-end-use-of-warrant-proof-encryption-that-shields-criminal-activity

 

 

They want to eliminate end to end encryption completely.

 

 

Things that make me rage.

Having caught flack from the Chinese government for using encryption behind the Great Firewall of China I can tell you these types of laws completely strip away any privacy and leaves companies naked when it comes to protecting data.

 

4 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

 

Fucking evangelicals.

 

What is up w/ this weird persecution fantasy that they keep jerking off to? I mean, even when they are in poor, have the Whitehouse, have the Senate, AND have a 5-4 majority of justices.... they go on and on about it.

 

That's some weird ass sadism shit right there.

 

I can see Jenna firing out that tweet and then furiously hate-'bating to the thought of standing up to the illuminati  liber-ati.

 

 

 

Evangelicals conflate culture wars with Religious wars. A shift in culture is perceived as an attack on their religion. You also have to consider their world view is shaped by an anticipation of the apocalypse. In their minds the world is growing more evil and they see themselves as a resistance to that growing evil. Literally they refer to everyone else as "The World" or "of The World" which is seen as an enemy of Christ.

The crazy part is they support Trump because he tosses culture war red meat at them while simultaneously being an anti-Christ. Literally the dude is the antithesis to Christ. The problem is that they don't think in those terms and are looking for some schmuck with 666 tattoo pushing a globalist agenda.

 

7 minutes ago, F250 said:

 

Evangelicals conflate culture wars with Religious wars. A shift in culture is perceived as an attack on their religion. You also have to consider their world view is shaped by an anticipation of the apocalypse. In their minds the world is growing more evil and they see themselves as a resistance to that growing evil. Literally they refer to everyone else as "The World" or "of The World" which is seen as an enemy of Christ.

The crazy part is they support Trump because he tosses culture war red meat at them while simultaneously being an anti-Christ. Literally the dude is the antithesis to Christ. The problem is that they don't think in those terms and are looking for some schmuck with 666 tattoo pushing a globalist agenda.

 

Funny thing is,  his son in law owned 666 Fifth Avenue and is trying to make peace in the Middle East...

shocked bill hader GIF

13 minutes ago, F250 said:

The problem is that they don't think in those terms and are looking for some schmuck with 666 tattoo pushing a globalist agenda.

180308-irving-kushner-666-tease_ngmp2w

28 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Funny thing is,  his son in law owned 666 Fifth Avenue and is trying to make peace in the Middle East...

 

Jared isn't trying to make peace in the Middle East. That may be how it's listed in his "portfolio," but that's not what he's attempting to achieve. He's just doing Israel's bidding, which fits in fine with the evangelicals' end time fantasies, and other than that he's just looking for ways to profit off of oil-rich Arab states (like Qatar who helped bail him out on 666 Fifth Ave). 

Edited by WhatTheBuck

43 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Fucking evangelicals.

What is up w/ this weird persecution fantasy that they keep jerking off to? I mean, even when they are in poor, have the Whitehouse, have the Senate, AND have a 5-4 majority of justices.... they go on and on about it.

That's some weird ass sadism shit right there.

I can see Jenna firing out that tweet and then furiously hate-'bating to the thought of standing up to the illuminati  liber-ati.

Nothing strengthens the faith and brings the flock together better than the perception of persecution. 

and it'll work with 40% of the country.

Edited by 4th&Five

The sexual assault complaint that incriminated Gym Jordan got unsealed today. CTRL+F is a good way to find him. Highlights Lowlights below:

Quote

1411. While John Doe 23 was on the wrestling team, it was standard practice for team members to get an annual physical before the season started, and one of the coaches told the team when they had to get their physicals from the team doctor.

1413. The physicals occurred in Larkins Hall. The team went to the training room there, and Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan typically stayed in the training room while the athletes waited for their turn to get a physical.

1423. During practice later that day, he overheard upperclassmen talking about how “Strauss was up to his usual” and joking about Dr. Strauss’ examinations. These discussions occurred in front of Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan.

1434. Dr. Strauss was not the only voyeur at OSU while John Doe 23 was on the wrestling team. John Doe 23 witnessed older men hanging out in the showers and sauna area to watch the wrestlers. The men fondled themselves as they watched the wrestlers shower.

1435. Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan also witnessed this voyeurism. Both commented on the presence of older men in the showers watching the wrestlers. Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan told the wrestlers to ignore the older men and pretend they were not there.

1436. Several of the wrestlers expressed their anger about being watched in the shower by these men. Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan told the wrestlers that if they did anything to act out that they would find themselves in trouble with the school.

1441. Because Coach Hellickson, Assistant Coach Jordan, and the athletic department treated Dr. Strauss’ behavior as acceptable, John Doe 23 believed there was nothing he could do to address his discomfort with Dr. Strauss.

1816. Dr. Strauss followed John Doe 42 out of the shower. He was wearing a towel and John Doe 42 could see an erection visible through Dr. Strauss’ towel. Dr. Strauss then said to John Doe 42, “You have a nice penis and physique, there’s nothing wrong with the human body.” John Doe 42 told Dr. Strauss that he found his behavior inappropriate.

1817. John Doe 42 left the locker room, and told Coach Hellickson and Assistant Coach Jordan that he had found Dr. Strauss “whacking off in the shower.” They responded, “Yeah, that’s Strauss.”

Jesus fucking christ.

Edited by Captainant

2 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

This motherfucker is in Congress. 

And will likely be re-elected

Jim Jordan is ok with old men watching and jacking off to college students taking showers.

11 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

And will likely be re-elected

1*gthpp_xTyeLKKduRtChPIg.png

25 minutes ago, Captainant said:

The sexual assault complaint that incriminated Gym Jordan got unsealed today. CTRL+F is a good way to find him. Highlights Lowlights below:

Jesus fucking christ.

You know, I feel bad about this whole thing.

 

i mean, I think this really exposes that We don’t get enough Penis compliments.

i mean I don’t want to get sexual assaulted or anything.... but a nice word or two would be good every once in a while

 

 

3 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

forget it jake, it's ohio

He protects perverts who jack off watching young athletes in the shower.

In Ohio, that's good for +5% at the polls.

57 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

This motherfucker is in Congress. 

Jacking off. 

1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

1*gthpp_xTyeLKKduRtChPIg.png

nohomo/ if you close one eye, that looks like a guy whacking off to another guy in the shower.   

28 minutes ago, Lobo said:

nohomo/ if you close one eye, that looks like a guy whacking off to another guy in the shower.   

Bullshit - it's clearly a duck with a semi-chub, which I always assumed had some specific meaning to the Pepe the Frog / Incel crowd in Ohio.  Little did I know it was a bat signal to the "seniors who like to whack off to college guys" crowd.  It's hard to keep up these days.

Yeah, I kinda see the 16mb duck outline there.  The color palate helps. 

I mean, the way the Mallard is holding her (Ohio).  It's almost filthy.  He's about to kiss her.  And she's pulling away.  

3 hours ago, Captainant said:

 

Jesus fucking christ.

Jordan probably has a picture of that in his safe

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Jacking off. 

Pleasuring gymself with a self induced gym job.

 

 

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

perverts who jack off watching young athletes in the shower.

 

Classic Strauss 

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.