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Alliteration or metaphor contest as it relates to this season and our varying levels of despondence.

Featured Replies

Moderators Note: This thread is the Brainchild of none other than @closetojumping and Helobious was the first reply so we ran with it. Helobious would never have such a good idea, he deserves no credit, in fact you should probably neg him in this post just for fun. Top Rep gets a prize, if you are local it will be something with me - if you are not I can send you $$

Alliteration:

Steve Sark sucks so surely he should surrender playcalling and salvage some of our season, saving surlyites from suicide. 

  • immamac pinned this topic
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Helobious is the human version of the 2025 Texas Longhorn Offense. 

Edited by closetojumping

Helobious harangues Hector hoping his harassment halts Hector’s hesitant heinous hoovering [of] Hispanic [American Football] Hirelings.

 

 

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Helobious is human version of the 2025 Texas Longhorn Offense. 

Adventure Time GIF

Edited by lilMAC25

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I always avoid alliteration

1 minute ago, AP101S said:

I always avoid alliteration

Amazingly, alliteration always allows alignment of alternate associations.

Guys. There is literally football on every night for the next two months. You gotta save something for the off-season. 

1 minute ago, Park Gothic said:

Guys. There is literally football on every night for the next two months. You gotta save something for the off-season. 

Neither alliterative nor a metaphor - try again.

Observations and offerings on our odious 'O' whoas & outsting our outragiously out-to-lunch OC

Edited by MartyWills

 

But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

 

Just now, gofuckyourself said:

How much suck could a surly thread suck if a surly thread could suck suck?

Am I doing this right?

Alliteratively? All…

Fuming, freethinking, foul-mouthed firebrand Frank furiously flung a flurry of fantastically filthy, full-throttle fucks—furled, feathered, and ferociously fast—at the fickle, flimflamming, flat-footed fiasco of a coach, flipping, fizzling, and face-palming as the frayed, fraud-filled framework of an offensive fixes fell flat; “for fuck’s sake,” Frank frothed, “these flimsy, fault-ridden, fly-blown fumbles and interceptions feel like a forever-fest of fruitless, fubar’d folderol,” before furthering the flood with fresh, feverish, free-ranging, furnace-hot fire fan fury: “fix the freaking failed playcalls, flush the flaky pro offensive features, and forgo the faux-pious, finger-wagging press conference feedback,” he fumed, “’cause I’m finished fostering fairy-tale forecasts from feckless, fainthearted, fair-weather fans,” finally, with a final, full-bodied, floor-rattling “FUCK,” forging forward, fists firm, feet flying, and fearlessly fending off every festering, faithless, failure-prone fragment of that farcical, face-planting, fishy-smelling, fun-sucking fracas of an O-line.

Longhorns stumble, fall,

Hopes crushed under autumn skies,

Season’s dreams now dust.

Timid Texas Longhorns tackled turbulent transitions, tempered towering expectations, traded turnover troubles, then triumphantly throttled their traditional tormentors, testing tenacity throughout their tempestuous 2025 campaign under tireless teamwork.

Shoving the Offensive poop back up the butt of this season.

Texas 2025, towering and terrifying with tippity top thinking Title!

A trip to Florida tilts the table, towards trepidation and terror.

Today and tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that.

Will tell the tale of this Texas team, who thought it, was all that!

 

5 minutes ago, immamac said:

fuck fuck fuck, sonofabitch seeing suck, fuck fuck fuck, cold beer, c-pap, couch sleepover, orgasmic overthrow of ou, fuck fuck fuck, please prove predictions puffery, clangaclangaclangaclanga

fify

Edited by orange dream

Mid Manning makes mad money, but not may not make the playoffs because he can’t make a medium pass in motion or man-to-man; makes me melancholy. 

wait so I can enter the alliteration contest with just saying fuck?

fuck fuck fuckity fuck, fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck. 

what do I win?

First reply wins the thread. 
 

am saddened that I was not treated to helobious’ attempt at constructing a metaphor. 

Longhorn’s lavishly leathered Lily-livered Leader losses locker-room.  Leaves lassie, laboriously languishes. Legalizes lusty love, lady labors love-child.

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Archie's anticipated ancestor aims at astroturf

Edited by Surly Bevo

2 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

How much suck could a surly thread suck if a surly thread could suck suck?

Am I doing this right?

Go fuck yourself

Squatting Steve Sarkisian sadly steered the stumbling steers, a sluggish, sputtering squad stuck in squandered Saturdays, suffering shattered spirits and shitastic shots at success beneath the scorching southern spotlight

3 hours ago, Helobious said:

Alliteration:

Steve Sark sucks so surely he should surrender playcalling and salvage some of our season, saving surlyites from suicide. 😡

Absolutely astonishing alliterative acumen always aligns around an agreeing alphabetic answer. Avoid awful, awkward alterations and achieve amazing auditory appeal. Always appreciate alliteration’s awesome allure! 

In October 2025, midweek pregame Surlies are nervous and grouchy. A couple of wins, and it’s Playoff Time! We love our Sark! Leave him be!

Can't seem to create something crazily-silly enough for this commie-Surly thread.  Cause similes versus cultish snark, all I got is Cutty Sark.

Edited by dcbc

2 hours ago, scramblyn said:

wait so I can enter the alliteration contest with just saying fuck?

fuck fuck fuckity fuck, fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck. 

what do I win?

 

Linemen listlessly lumbered

Arch passed another putrid pigskin

Reckless receivers risked their ribs

 

 

25 minutes ago, Earl Haffler said:

Death around the corner
Football games in perspective
Scores no longer matter

Haiku-thread-is-that-way-man.webp

 

HAIKU HAIKU!

 

Haiku thread is that way, man!

Offensive offense obliterating optimism of online oafs

If you want a metaphor, I think the very first snap where Arch turfed a wide open 20 yard gain to Deandre Moore is going to be hard to beat. 

Edited by gmr548

Sark squats on success and shits the sheets on Saturdays, stubbornly sticking to his sorry script while we spiral south

5 hours ago, Welshy said:

Fuming, freethinking, foul-mouthed firebrand Frank furiously flung a flurry of fantastically filthy, full-throttle fucks—furled, feathered, and ferociously fast—at the fickle, flimflamming, flat-footed fiasco of a coach, flipping, fizzling, and face-palming as the frayed, fraud-filled framework of an offensive fixes fell flat; “for fuck’s sake,” Frank frothed, “these flimsy, fault-ridden, fly-blown fumbles and interceptions feel like a forever-fest of fruitless, fubar’d folderol,” before furthering the flood with fresh, feverish, free-ranging, furnace-hot fire fan fury: “fix the freaking failed playcalls, flush the flaky pro offensive features, and forgo the faux-pious, finger-wagging press conference feedback,” he fumed, “’cause I’m finished fostering fairy-tale forecasts from feckless, fainthearted, fair-weather fans,” finally, with a final, full-bodied, floor-rattling “FUCK,” forging forward, fists firm, feet flying, and fearlessly fending off every festering, faithless, failure-prone fragment of that farcical, face-planting, fishy-smelling, fun-sucking fracas of an O-line.


image.jpeg.fdd797cbe555d7fa1efc74a285765068.jpeg

 

4 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Palindromes should also be included. 

a man a plan a poop anal panama

BYU Booger Blaster Boat-raced By Bevo 

Sark sucks shit, sadly, so Surly snarkly spirals sometime Saturday. 

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