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Then I thought, "When am I ever going back to Haiti?"

Featured Replies

It's comical their shit ability to plan something like this. 

1) Take Haitian Creole classes... yeah, I bet they can communicate like demented toddlers, knowing curse words and just enough other words to cobble together grammatically horrific sentences.

2) Kicked out of Fire Academy.

3) Fly to Thailand to learn to sail only to find you don't have enough money to take the classes... (no sailing classes in the US?)

4) Tries to recruit homeless guys in DC to help them (holy shit these guys are dumb as a sack of doorknobs).

And to top it off the island they want to invade, kill all the men, and enslave the kids and women has EIGHTY-SEVEN THOUSAND PEOPLE.  Before reading the article I figured this Island was tiny with less than 50 residents.  

Hopefully they do get locked up for a long-ass time and that they haven't procreated yet to pass on these dumbfuck genes.  

Edited by BlueGreySky

  • Popular Post
1 minute ago, BlueGreySky said:

It's comical their shit ability to plan something like this. 

1) Take Haitian Creole classes... yeah, I bet they can communicate like demented toddlers, knowing curse words and just enough other words to cobble together grammatically horrific sentences.

2) Kicked out of Fire Academy.

3) Fly to Thailand to learn to sail only to find you don't have enough money to take the classes... (no sailing classes in the US?)

4) Tries to recruit homeless guys in DC to help them (holy shit these guys are dumb as a sack of doorknobs).

And to top it off the island they want to invade, kill all the men, and enslave the kids and women has EIGHTY-SEVEN THOUSAND PEOPLE.  Before reading the article I figured this Island was tiny with less than 50 residents.  

Hopefully they do get locked up for a long-ass time and that they haven't procreated yet to pass on these dumbfuck genes.  

Whatever.  You read all that and judge them.  I see some real can-do spirit.  These are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on my EM-50 project.

50 minutes ago, Deej said:

PLANO, Texas - Two North Texas men have been indicted for an alleged scheme to sail to a foreign island, murder all the men, and enslave the women and children. 

Gonâve Island has a population of about 87,000.

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, Deej said:

PLANO, Texas - Two North Texas men have been indicted for an alleged scheme to sail to a foreign island, murder all the men, and enslave the women and children. 

What a stupid fucking idea. A few unsavory white guys are just going to sail to an island in the Caribbean, start killing and raping the native people, and then claim the land for their own?

That shit would never work. 

 

Edited by BrickHorn

6 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

What a stupid fucking idea. A few unsavory white guys are just going to sail to an island in the Caribbean, start killing and raping people, and then claim the land for their own?

That shit would never work. 

 

Haitian gangs would fuck them up so fast. Relevant video of gangs including in GONAIVE. It is a major trafficking route. Weapons in, people and drugs out. 

 

Edited by InkaUtexas
Added video.

8 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Haitian gangs would fuck them up so fast. Relevant video of gangs including in GONAIVE. It is a major trafficking route. Weapons in, people and drugs out. 

 

Did you even read their plan? The homeless mercenaries were going to stomp out any resisters, duh. 

  • Author
13 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

What a stupid fucking idea. A few unsavory white guys are just going to sail to an island in the Caribbean, start killing and raping the native people, and then claim the land for their own?

That shit would never work. 

 

Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF

  • Author
7 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Link to their incredibly popular podcast?

The Loochador.

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Getting arrested is actually a much better outcome for these two geniuses.

Gavin Tanner, I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you!

 

 

Why are we interfering with Darwin's Law when we need it most? 

This is an even worse idea than the "missionaries" who try to convert the Sentinelese.

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3 hours ago, HenryJames said:

haitian-murder-plot-mugs.png?ve=1&tl=1

They’ll blend right in.

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This right here is why you don't raise your children to believe that they can do whatever the put their minds to, especially if they're stupid.  Daaaamn.

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why didn't some reality TV show pick this up and follow them.. I would watch that for sure -- And here is Gavin stepping off the boat..... and there is Gavin riddled w/ bullet holes compliments of the local thuggery. 

I just want to know how they got busted. Were they bragging at Applebees? 

"Yeah man, we got this plan. See, what we are gonna do is...." 

 

14 minutes ago, TexasBeta said:

why didn't some reality TV show pick this up and follow them.. I would watch that for sure -- And here is Gavin stepping off the boat..... and there is Gavin riddled w/ bullet holes compliments of the local thuggery. 

Gavin has the face of a bitch.  They'd make him squeal like a pig.  

Tanner has the face of a guy you just want to shut the fuck up.  I think he ends up riddled with bullet holes.

47 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

I just want to know how they got busted. Were they bragging at Applebees? 

"Yeah man, we got this plan. See, what we are gonna do is...." 

 

those $2.00 Bahama Mama's get to you after a while 

2 hours ago, miguelito said:

Getting arrested is actually a much better outcome for these two geniuses.

This. They should have just let these dipshits go forward with their plan. They would have lasted 10 minutes. Maybe.

 

But honestly, what have they actually done that is illegal besides talk a bunch of shit and fuck around like morons?

Edited by tbone_

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2 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

besides talk a bunch of shit and fuck around like morons?

All of Surly:

pedro-monkey-puppet.gif

1 hour ago, InkaUtexas said:

I just want to know how they got busted. Were they bragging at Applebees? 

"Yeah man, we got this plan. See, what we are gonna do is...." 

 

These idiots had to have been "lightly encouraged" by a spook of some fashion

1 minute ago, cmontexas said:

These idiots had to have been "lightly encouraged" by a spook of some fashion

Nah, I think they are just fucking crazy. Saw a map and said hey, we can do this. 

You could probably come up with a few places where you could talk yourself into a plan like this working, assuming you’re a moron; but going to a country where it seems like everyone is a warlord seems like an unusually terrible choice.

4 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

What a stupid fucking idea. A few unsavory white guys are just going to sail to an island in the Caribbean, start killing and raping the native people, and then claim the land for their own?

That shit would never work. 

 

Counterpoint:

IMG_5492.gif.7cbeb3c645b42950ee40cdeca3c490cf.gif

3 hours ago, TexasBeta said:

why didn't some reality TV show pick this up and follow them.. I would watch that for sure -- And here is Gavin stepping off the boat..... and there is Gavin riddled w/ bullet holes compliments of the local thuggery. 

I thought this was for sure a youtuber putting out some spicy hot 'tent.

4 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

nothing says tough like two guys named Tanner and Gavin

40% of a Central Division-winning rotation

While their Stephen-ass manager pairs back-to-back Mgr of the Year awards with first round exits.

Edited by TheStoicPaisano

5 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

I just want to know how they got busted. Were they bragging at Applebees? 

"Yeah man, we got this plan. See, what we are gonna do is...." 

 

"See, my dad is a prepper and has an ultimate set of weapons and I can take it, I can take this island dude."

Can you really be convicted if your proposed crime is that stupid and implausible?

12 hours ago, HenryJames said:

haitian-murder-plot-mugs.png?ve=1&tl=1

Don't look like any Surlyites I"ve encountered.  Maybe Tech grads.

7 hours ago, cmontexas said:

These idiots had to have been "lightly encouraged" by a spook of some fashion

This is what happens when you ban hemp.  These two had dumb ideas but no ambition before.

17 hours ago, miguelito said:

Getting arrested is actually a much better outcome for these two geniuses.

I’m pretty upset they never got to try this venture. Over under on how long they lasted before being brutally murdered would be like 1.5 hours. 

18 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

nothing says tough like two guys named Tanner and Gavin

I’d like to see you try and take on the 7th grade… 

Regards, 

IMG_9148.jpeg.c8a067757e872c9b4b7a75beca99b550.jpeg

Quote

Federal investigators say the pair trained for nearly a year; both face up to life in prison if convicted.

Masturbation masturbate jacking GIF on GIFER - by Dondis

Kinda suspect that this happened the same day a US military ship "mistakenly" landed in Taumalipas and got into a standoff with Mexican security forces

Edited by cmontexas

On 11/21/2025 at 11:14 PM, Steel Shank said:

This very well may be the damnedest thing I've ever seen.

IMG_2126.jpeg.9674b010d9547a1cee803105903499b6.jpeg

On 11/21/2025 at 10:47 AM, BlueGreySky said:

Hopefully they do get locked up for a long-ass time and that they haven't procreated yet to pass on these dumbfuck genes.  

I am not going to lie, there is a base part of me that wishes we had the opportunity to see how their attempt would play out for the lulz.

17 minutes ago, Goredho said:

I am not going to lie, there is a base part of me that wishes we had the opportunity to see how their attempt would play out for the lulz.

 

I'd just like to see their dinghy capsize in Miami. 

13 minutes ago, Bevo said:

 

I'd just like to see their dinghy capsize in Miami. 

 

IMG_1853.gif

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