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Featured Replies

The Polar Express has to be up there. The animation is terrible and disconcertingly  creepy. Like they couldn't be bothered to spend a bit of extra time to make the movements seem in any way natural and decided spreading nightmares was about as good as spreading Christmas cheer.

 

The wife put it on for the kids tonight, but she and the 4 year old were the only ones watching. The middle child was playing Mario 64 on his Switch (pos rep for him) while I pretty much ended up doing everything for him after he tried and failed, or got to distracted dropping the baby penguin down the chimney (he's 6, so he thought that was about the funniest thing ever). Of course we were too much of a distraction from her slow roll horror movie that never ends. Speaking of which, they finally arrived at the North Pole at about 9 o'clock, and I ask if we should start getting the kids ready for bed, as they've already stayed up pretty late and I have stuff I need to do, like watch Ken Burns' American Revolution Documentary. "It's almIost over," I'm told. Fourty five minutes later they are still waiting on Santa to shut up so they can go home and finish the damn story. How in the most unholy of abominations do you stretch a story out so long? It's worse than the droid factory scene in whichever Star Wars prequel that was. 

My kids will always watch Polar Express at Christmas, no idea why.

 

So I'll have to watch Spielberg's 1941 by myself again this year. Maybe next year.

Drunk Over It GIF by Grillax®

I never liked Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town.  You'll never convince me that Santa Claus was a soulless ginger.

  • Popular Post

Love Actually. It sucks, every character is a terrible person and it's way too long.

Can I say all of them? They're all terrible.*

 

*I do have some fond memories of watching Elf with my kids, so I'll make en exception for that one. The rest are garbage. And before anyone posts the gif, I'll say yes, I am serious, Clark. 

11 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

The Polar Express has to be up there. The animation is terrible and disconcertingly  creepy. Like they couldn't be bothered to spend a bit of extra time to make the movements seem in any way natural and decided spreading nightmares was about as good as spreading Christmas cheer.

 

The wife put it on for the kids tonight, but she and the 4 year old were the only ones watching. The middle child was playing Mario 64 on his Switch (pos rep for him) while I pretty much ended up doing everything for him after he tried and failed, or got to distracted dropping the baby penguin down the chimney (he's 6, so he thought that was about the funniest thing ever). Of course we were too much of a distraction from her slow roll horror movie that never ends. Speaking of which, they finally arrived at the North Pole at about 9 o'clock, and I ask if we should start getting the kids ready for bed, as they've already stayed up pretty late and I have stuff I need to do, like watch Ken Burns' American Revolution Documentary. "It's almIost over," I'm told. Fourty five minutes later they are still waiting on Santa to shut up so they can go home and finish the damn story. How in the most unholy of abominations do you stretch a story out so long? It's worse than the droid factory scene in whichever Star Wars prequel that was. 

Praising John Goodman GIF by The Righteous Gemstones

-Donna Reed being cute

-The cool swim gym 

Rest of It’s a Wonderful Life is schlocky as hell. Pass.

1 hour ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

anything on the Hallmark channel.

Agree ... especially this one with the Lance Corporal Prince

MV5BNWEwMzRhZDgtOTI2Ni00YmRhLTllZWUtNWEy

45 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

-Donna Reed being cute

-The cool swim gym 

Rest of It’s a Wonderful Life is schlocky as hell. Pass.

It has never been a tradition for me to watch the movie like it is for a lot of people. However, knowing what Jimmy Stewart was suffering through mentally, especially during the one take scene where he breaks down and sheds real tears because of his memories of flights over Germany, has this amongst the Christmas movies I will watch if I get some time to do so. He was a wreck at that moment in time emotionally and had aged a good 10-15 years because of those flights. 

3 hours ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

-Donna Reed being cute

-The cool swim gym 

Rest of It’s a Wonderful Life is schlocky as hell. Pass.

I would have done naughty naughty things to Donna Reed back then...

3 hours ago, Red Five said:

A Christmas Story sucks. 

You beat me to it 

18 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Delete thread. Ban user. 

It's not funny. It's not entertaining. Annoying is the perfect word for it. 

30 minutes ago, Red Five said:

It's not funny. It's not entertaining. Annoying is the perfect word for it. 

As a kid I can recall watching it once. I didn’t really connect with it, but clearly it landed well with a whole bunch of people. I don’t dislike it, but it was never on the list to watch each year. I preferred all the cartoon Christmas movies as a kid like Rudolph. Never get tired of hearing Burl Ives.

  • Popular Post

Jean Shepard would have exulted in the sardonic, sarcastic, profane Surly universe. All that shit in A Christmas Story was based on his parents and brother and school chums and hometown. The Bumpuses, the hound dogs, the Red Ryder BB gun, soap in the mouth, tongues freezing to flag poles. Christmas at the Chinese restaurant, all of it. If it annoys you, don’t fucking watch it. I respect your opinion but I disagree.

6 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Can I say all of them? They're all terrible.

Will Ferrell Reaction GIF by MOODMAN

The Night Before is awesome and 8 Bit Christmas is serviceable 

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The Paul McCartney/Wings song. 

It's so goddamn long and terrible that it qualifies for this thread. 

7 hours ago, Red Five said:

A Christmas Story sucks. 

 

4 hours ago, Red Five said:

It's not funny. It's not entertaining. Annoying is the perfect word for it. 

It insists upon itself

Every one of them except Die Hard and Home Alone 1 and 2.

 

White people killed Elf, like they did with Wedding Crashers and Old Scool, and its unwatchable now.

14 minutes ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Every one of them except Die Hard

Don't Sleep on The Hunt for Red October.

12 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Can I say all of them? They're all terrible.*

Diehard is not terrible, sir.

1 hour ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Every one of them except Die Hard and Home Alone 1 and 2.

 

White people killed Elf, like they did with Wedding Crashers and Old Scool, and its unwatchable now.

How did white people do that?

6 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Diehard is not terrible, sir.

Agreed. But I'm not sure how that is relevant to this thread.

38 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Agreed. But I'm not sure how that is relevant to this thread.

Because it is the best Christmas movie, ever, and should not have been lumped in with the rest Mr “they all suck” 

Edited by UT_OB1

My wife and kids love Polar Express. I was out after 20 minutes. I don’t get it. 

8 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

My wife and kids love Polar Express. I was out after 20 minutes. I don’t get it. 

You obviously didn't get to the part where the kid's mom got nude.

Edit: Oh shit, this is about Polar Express, not The Pole Sexpress.  Need to wear my readers more often.

Edited by atomheartbevo

My 16-year-old stepdaughter wanted to watch Elf yesterday afternoon while decorating the tree.  I used to watch that all the time with my kids when they were younger, but I thought to myself, "I think I'm worn out on Elf."  Yet I found myself laughing out loud several times throughout.  

16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Paul McCartney/Wings song. 

It's so goddamn long and terrible that it qualifies for this thread. 

This is 100% correct.  

10 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

How did white people do that?

Overquoting. Thinking its funny after saying the same played out shit for years. Same reason they almost killed Chappelle Show

The Santa Clause. For some reason it's one of my wife's favorites. It's fucking horrible. 

  • Popular Post

Greenspoint's an angry elf. 

On 11/30/2025 at 8:56 AM, Bevo&Pevo said:

anything on the Hallmark channel.

And this qualifies because they are all the EXACT SAME MOVIE

I used to get stuck watching these with my ex and her family.  My FIL and I would crack jokes like "Is this the one where one of them returns to a small town, discovers their true love, has a big misunderstanding and then they get back together at the end?"  The looks my ex and MIL would give us were something.

I would also nominate White Christmas.  I actually enjoyed it the first time, maybe the second time, but it was a family tradition for my ex to watch it EVERY Christmas Eve.  Even hearing the damn song now is triggering to me.

It's probably Elf but, like others have said, it's nostalgic in a way that brings back joyful and warm memories when kids were little, so it gets a lifetime pass.

When my oldest daughter calls, I usually answer with "this is Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color"? She doesn't think it's funny anymore.  

1 hour ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Overquoting. Thinking its funny after saying the same played out shit for years. Same reason they almost killed Chappelle Show

 

IMG_1387.gif

Disclosure: Never seen Elf all the way through. Could quote Home Alone, possibly Red October and Die Hard and maybe Home Alone 2 off the top.

Edited by TheStoicPaisano

3 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

When my oldest daughter calls, I usually answer with "this is Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color"? She doesn't think it's funny anymore.  

That was my son's favorite.

13 hours ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Every one of them except Die Hard and Home Alone 1 and 2.

 

White people killed Elf, like they did with Wedding Crashers and Old Scool, and its unwatchable now.

Yeah I hate when white people kill classic black movies like Elf, Wedding Crashers and Old School. 

Jacksonville Jaguars Wtf GIF

Edited by ztejas

I'm done on the whole lot.  Much like Christmas music there is only so much repetition I can take, and given that both start popping up November 1st, come December 1, I am already burnt out.  Thankfully my kids have aged out of watching them on a loop, but just seeing all the thumbnails on the streaming platforms is giving me PTSD.

On 11/30/2025 at 10:55 AM, skeeter said:

Agree ... especially this one with the Lance Corporal Prince

MV5BNWEwMzRhZDgtOTI2Ni00YmRhLTllZWUtNWEy

animal house reject GIF by Puffin Graphic Design

21 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

I preferred all the cartoon Christmas movies as a kid like Rudolph

It's not a cartoon, you heathen. It's a stop-motion animation special.

Edited by Deej

18 minutes ago, Deej said:

It's not a cartoon, you heathen. It's a stop-motion animation special.

They were all just cartoons to me, including the California Raisins!

4 hours ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Overquoting. Thinking its funny after saying the same played out shit for years. Same reason they almost killed Chappelle Show

wazzup-the-office.gif

I'm gonna be honest.......

 

....ready???.......

 

I can't fucking stand Christmas Vacation.

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